Off The Main Sequence

by Robert A. Heinlein

  “I think I did."

  “Let’s check. It’s early, but perhaps one of them is back."

  They hurried to the study, where they were confronted by an incredible and awe-inspiring sight.

  Floating in the air near the fireplace was a figure robed in white and shining with a soft mother-of-pearl radiance. While they stood hesitant at the door, the figure turned its face to them and they saw that it had the face of Martha Ross, cleansed and purified to an unhuman majesty. Then it spoke.

  “Peace be unto you, my brothers." A wave of peace and loving kindness flowed over them like a mother’s blessing. The figure approached them, and they saw, curving from its shoulders, the long, white, sweeping wings of a classical angel. Frost cursed under his breath in a dispassionate monotone.

  “Do not be afraid, I have come back, as you asked me to. To explain and to help you."

  The Doctor found his voice. “Are you Martha Ross?"

  “I answer to that name."

  “What happened after you put on the earphones?"

  “Nothing. I slept for a while. When I woke, I went home."

  “Nothing else? How do you explain your appearance?"

  “My appearance is what you earthly children expect of the Lord’s Redeemed. In the course of time I served as a missionary in South America. There it was required of me that I give up my mortal me in the service of the Lord. And so I entered the Eternal City."

  “You went to Heaven?"

  “These many eons I have sat at the foot of the Golden Throne and sung hosannas to His name."

  Jenkins interrupted them. “Tell me, Martha — or Saint Martha — Where is Estelle? Have you seen her?"

  The figure turned slowly and faced him. “Fear not."

  “But tell me where she is!"

  “It is not needful."

  “That’s no help," he answered bitterly.

  “I will help you. Listen to me; Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and Love thy neighbor as thyself. That is all you need to know."

  Howard remained silent, at a loss for an answer, but unsatisfied. Presently the figure spoke again. “I must go. God’s blessing on you." It flickered and was gone.

  The professor touched the young man’s arm. “Let’s get some fresh air." He led Jenkins, mute and unresisting, out into the garden. They walked for some minutes in silence. Finally Howard asked a question, “Did we see an angel in there?"

  “I think so, Howard."

  “But that’s insane!"

  “There are millions of people who wouldn’t think so — unusual certainly, but not insane."

  “But it’s contrary to all modem beliefs — Heaven — Hell — a personal God — Resurrection. Everything I’ve believed in must be wrong, or I’ve gone screwy."

  “Not necessarily — not even probably. I doubt very much if you will ever see Heaven or Hell. You’ll follow a time track in accordance with your nature."

  “But she seemed real."

  “She was real. I suspect that the conventional hereafter is real to any one who believes in it wholeheartedly, as Martha evidently did, but I expect you to follow a pattern in accordance with die beliefs of an agnostic — except in one respect; when you die, you won’t die all over, no matter how intensely you may claim to expect to. It is an emotional impossibility for any man to believe in his own death. That sort of self-annihilation can’t be done. You’ll have a hereafter, but it will be one appropriate to a materialist."

  But Howard was not listening. He pulled at his under lip and frowned. “Say, doc, why wouldn’t Martha tell me what happened to Estelle? That was a dirty trick."

  “I doubt if she knew, my boy. Martha followed a time track only slightly different from that we are in; Estelle chose to explore one far in the past or in the distant future. For all practical purposes, each is nonexistent to the other."

  They heard a call from the house, a clear contralto voice, “Doctor! Doctor Frost!"

  Jenkins whirled around. “That’s Estelle!" They ran back into the house, the Doctor endeavoring manfully to keep up.

  But it was not Estelle. Standing in the hallway was Helen Fisher, her sweater torn and dirty, her stockings missing, and a barely-healed scar puckering one cheek. Frost stopped and surveyed her. “Are you all right, child?" he demanded.

  She grinned boyishly. “I’m okay. You should see the other guy."

  Tell us about it."

  “In a minute. How about a cup of coffee for the prodigal? And I wouldn’t turn up my nose at scrambled eggs and some — lots — of toast. Meals are inclined to be irregular where I’ve been."

  “Yes, indeed. Right away." answered Frost, “but where have you been?"

  “Let a gal eat, please," she begged. “I won’t hold out on you. What is Howard looking so sour about?"

  The professor whispered an explanation. She gave Jenkins a compassionate glance. “Oh, she hasn’t? I thought I’d be the last man in; I was away so long. What day is this?"

  Frost glanced at his wrist watch. “You’re right on time; it’s just eleven o’clock."

  “The hell you say! Oh, excuse me. Doctor. 'Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice’." All in a couple of hours. Just for the record, I was gone several weeks at least.

  When her third cup of coffee had washed down the last of the toast, she began:

  “When I woke up I was falling upstairs — through a nightmare, several nightmares. Don’t ask me to describe that — nobody could. That went on for a week, maybe, then things started to come into focus. I don’t know in just what order things happened, but when I first started to notice clearly I was standing in a little barren valley. It was cold, and the air was thin and acrid. It burned my throat.

  There were two suns in the sky, one big and reddish, the other smaller and too bright to look at."

  “Two suns!" exclaimed Howard. “That’s not possible — binary stars don’t have planets."

  She looked at him. “Have it your own way — I was there. Just as I was taking this all in, something whizzed overhead and I ducked. That was the last I saw of that place.

  “I slowed down next back on earth — at least it looked like it — and in a city. It was a big and complicated city. I was in trafficway with a lot of fast moving traffic. I stepped out and tried to flag one of the vehicles — a long crawling caterpillar thing with about fifty wheels — when I caught sight of what was driving it and dodged back in a hurry. It wasn’t a man and it wasn’t an animal either — not one I’ve ever seen or heard of. It wasn’t a bird, or a fish, nor an insect. The god that thought up the inhabitants of that city doesn’t deserve worship. I don’t know what they were, but they crawled and they crept and they stank. Ugh!"

  “I slunk around holes in that place," she continued, “for a couple of weeks before I recovered the trick of jumping the time track. I was desperate, for I thought that the suggestion to return to now hadn’t worked. I couldn’t find much to eat and I was lightheaded part of the time. I drank out of what I suspect was their drainage system, but there was nobody to ask and I didn’t want to know. I was thirsty."

  “Did you see any human beings?"

  “I’m not sure. I saw some shapes that might have been men squatting in a circle down in the tunnels under the city, but something frightened them, and they scurried away before I could get close enough to look."

  “What else happened there?"

  “Nothing. I found the trick again that same night and got away from there as fast as I could — I am afraid I lost the scientific spirit. Professor — I didn’t care how the other half lived.

  “This time I had better luck. I was on earth again, but in pleasant rolling hills, like the Blue Ridge Mountains. It was summer, and very lovely. I found a little stream and took off my clothes and bathed. It was wonderful. After I had found some ripe berries, I lay down in the sun and went to sleep.

  “I woke wide awake with a start. Someone was bending over me. It was a man, but no beauty. He was a Neanderthal. I should have
run, but I tried to grab my clothes first, so he grabbed me. I was led back into camp, a Sabine woman, with my new spring sports outfit tucked fetchingly under one arm.

  “I wasn’t so bad off. It was the Old Man who had found me, and he seemed to regard me as a strange pet, about on a par with the dogs that snarled around the bone heap, rather than as a member of his harem. I fed well enough, if you aren’t fussy — I wasn’t fussy after living in the bowels of that awful city.

  “The Neanderthal isn’t a bad fellow at heart, rather good-natured, although inclined to play rough. That’s how I got this." She fingered the scar on her cheek, “I had about decided to stay a while and study them, when one day I made a mistake. It was a chilly morning, and I put on my clothes for the first time since I had arrived. One of the young bucks saw me, and I guess it aroused his romantic nature. The Old Man was away at the time and there was no one to stop him.

  “He grabbed me before I knew what was happening and tried to show his affection. Have you ever been nuzzled by a cave man, Howard? They have halitosis, not to mention B.O. I was too startled to concentrate on the time trick, or else I would have slipped right out into space-time and left him clutching air."

  Doctor Frost was aghast. “Dear God, child! What did you do?"

  “I finally showed him a jiu jitsu trick I learned in Phys. Ed. II, then I ran like hell and skinned up a tree. I counted up to a hundred and tried to be calm.

  Pretty soon I was shooting upstairs in a nightmare again and very happy to be doing it."

  “Then you came back here?"

  “Not by a whole lot — worse luck! I landed in this present all right, and apparently along this time dimension, but there was plenty that was wrong about it — I was standing on the south side of Forty-second street in New York. I knew where I was for the first thing I noticed was the big lighted letters that chase around the TIMES building and spell out news flashes. It was running backwards.

  I was trying to figure out DETROIT BEAT TO HITS NINE GET YANKEES’ when I saw two cops close to me running as hard as they could — backwards, away from me." Doctor Frost smothered an ejaculation. “What did you say?"

  “Reversed entropy — you entered the track backwards — your time arrow was pointing backwards."

  “I figured that out, when I had time to think about it. Just then I was too busy. I was in a clearing in the crowd, but the ring of people — was closing in on me, all running backwards. The cops disappeared in the crowd, and the crowd ran right up to me, stopped, and started to scream. Just as that happened, the traffic lights changed, cars charged out from both directions, driving backwards. It was too much for little Helen. I fainted.

  “Following that I seemed to slant through a lot of places —"

  “Just a second," Howard interrupted, “just what happened before that? I thought I savvied entropy, but that got me licked."

  “Well," explained Frost, “the easiest way to explain it is to say that she was travelling backwards in time. Her future was their past, and vice versa. I’m glad she got out in a hurry. I’m not sure that human metabolism can be maintained in such conditions."

  “Hmm — Go ahead, Helen."

  “This slanting through the axes would have been startling, if I hadn’t been emotionally exhausted. I sat back and watched it, like a movie. I think Salvador Dali wrote the script. I saw landscapes heave and shift like a stormy sea. People melted into plants — I think my own body changed at times, but I can’t be sure. Once I found myself in a place that was all insides, instead of outsides. Some of the things we’ll skip — I don’t believe them myself.

  “Then I slowed down in a place that must have had an extra spatial dimension. Everything looked three dimensional to me, but they changed their shapes when I thought about them. I found I could look inside solid objects simply by wanting to. When I tired of prying into the intimate secrets of rocks and plants, I took a look at myself, and it worked Just as well. I know more about anatomy and physiology now than an M.D. It’s fun to watch your heart beat — kind o’cute.

  “But my appendix was swollen and inflamed. I found I could reach in and touch it — it was tender. I’ve had trouble with it so I decided to perform an emergency operation, I nipped it off with my nails. It didn’t hurt at all, bled a couple of drops and closed right up."

  “Good Heavens, child! You might have gotten peritonitis and died."

  “I don’t think so. I believe that ultra-violet was pouring all through me and killing the bugs. I had a fever for a while, but I think what caused it was a bad case of internal sunburn.

  “I forgot to mention that I couldn’t walk around in this place, for I couldn’t seem to touch anything but myself. I sliced right through anything I tried to get a purchase on. Pretty soon I quit trying and relaxed. It was comfortable and I went into a warm happy dope, like a hibernating bear.

  “After a long time — a long, long time, I went sound asleep and came to in your big easy-chair. That’s all."

  Helen answered Howard’s anxious inquiries by telling him that she had seen nothing of Estelle. “But why don’t you calm down and wait? She isn’t really overdue."

  They were interrupted by the opening of the door from the hallway. A short wiry figure in a hooded brown tunic and tight brown breeches strode into the room.

  “Where’s Doctor Frost? Oh — Doctor, I need help!"

  It was Monroe, but changed almost beyond recognition. He had been short and slender before, but was now barely five feet tall, and stocky, with powerful shoulder muscles. The brown costume with its peaked hood, or helmet, gave him a strong resemblance to the popular notion of gnome.

  Frost hurried to him. “What is it, Robert? How can I help?"

  “This first." Monroe hunched forward for inspection of his left upper arm. The fabric was tattered and charred, exposing an ugly burn. “He just grazed me, but it had better be fixed. If I am to save the arm."

  Frost examined it without touching it. “We must rush you to a hospital."

  “No time. I’ve got to get back. They need me — and the help I can bring."

  The Doctor shook his head. “You’ve got to have treatment. Bob. Even if there is strong need for you to go back wherever you have been, you are in a different time track now. Time lost here isn’t necessarily lost there."

  Monroe cut him short. “I think this world and my world have connected time rates. I must hurry."

  Helen Fisher placed herself between them. “Let me see that arm. Bob. Hm — pretty nasty, but I think I can fix it. Professor, put a kettle on the fire with about a cup of water in it. As soon as it boils, chuck in a handful of tea leaves."

  She rummaged through the kitchen cutlery drawer, found a pair of shears, and did a neat job of cutting away the sleeve and cleaning the burned flesh for dressing. Monroe talked as she worked.

  “Howard, I want you to do me a favor. Get a pencil and paper and take down a list. I want a flock of things to take back — all of them things that you can pick up at the fraternity house. You’ll have to go for me — I’d be thrown out with my present appearance — What’s the matter? Don’t you want to?’

  Helen hurriedly explained Howard’s preoccupation. He listened sympathetically.

  “Oh! Say, that’s tough lines, old man." His brow wrinkled — “But look — You can’t do Estelle any good by waiting here, and I really do need your help for the next half hour. Will you do it?"

  Jenkins reluctantly agreed. Monroe continued, “Fine! I do appreciate it. Go to my room first and gather up my reference books on math — also my slide rule. You’ll find an India-paper radio manual, too. I want that. And I want your twenty-inch log-log duplex slide rule, as well. You can have my Rabelais and the Droll Stories. I want your Marks’ Mechanical Engineers Handbook, and any other technical reference books that you have and I haven’t. Take anything you like in exchange.

  “Then go up to Stinky Beanfield’s room, and get his Military Engineers Handbook, his Chemical Warfare, and his texts on
ballistics and ordnance. Yes, and Miller’s Chemistry of Explosives, if he has one. If not, pick up one from some other of the R.O.T.C. boys; it’s important." Helen was deftly applying a poultice to his arm. He winced as the tea leaves, still warm, touched his seared flesh, but went ahead.

  “Stinky keeps his service automatic in his upper bureau drawer. Swipe it, or talk him out of it. Bring as much ammunition as you can find — I’ll write out a bill of sale for my car for you to leave for him. Now get going. I’ll tell Doc all about it, and he can tell you later. Here. Take my car." He fumbled at his thigh, then looked annoyed. “Cripes! I don’t have my keys."

  Helen came to the rescue. “Take mine — The keys are in my bag on the hall table."

  Howard got up. “OK, I’ll do my damndest. If I get flung in the can, bring me cigarettes." He went out.

  Helen put the finishing touches on the bandages.“There! I think that will do. How does it feel?"

  He flexed his arm cautiously. “Okay. It’s a neat job. kid. It takes the sting out,"

  “I believe it will heal if you keep tannin solution on it. Can you get tea leaves where you are going?"

  “Yes, and tannic acid, too. I’ll be all right. Now you deserve an explanation. Professor, do you have a cigaret on you? I could use some of that coffee, too."

  “Surely, Robert." Frost hastened to serve him.

  Monroe accepted a light and began, “It’s all pretty cock-eyed. When I came out of the sleep, I found myself, dressed as I am now and looking as I now look, marching down a long, deep fosse.

  I was one of a column of threes in a military detachment. The odd part about it is that I felt perfectly natural. I knew where I was and why I was there — and who I was. I don’t mean Robert Monroe; my name over there is Igor." Monroe pronounced the guttural deep in his throat and trilled the “r". “I hadn’t forgotten Monroe; it was more as if I had suddenly remembered him. I had one identity and two pasts. It was something like waking up from a clearly remembered dream, only the dream was perfectly real. I knew Monroe was real, just as I knew Igor was real.

  “My world is much like earth; a bit smaller, but much the same surface gravity.