Off The Main Sequence

by Robert A. Heinlein

  Seven welts made a week. The progression of such welts along ten fingers and ten toes gave him the means to measure twenty weeks — which was a much longer period than he anticipated any need to measure.

  He had tallied the second set of seven thigh welts on the ring finger of his left hand when the next event occurred to disturb his solitude. When he awoke from the sleep following said tally, he became suddenly and overwhelmingly aware that he was not alone!

  There was a human figure sleeping beside him. When he had convinced himself that he was truly wide awake — his dreams were thoroughly populated — he grasped the figure by the shoulder and shook it. “Doc!" he yelled. “Doc! Wake up!"

  Graves opened his eyes, focused them, sat up, and put out his hand. “Hi, Bill," he remarked. “I’m damned glad to see you."

  “Doc!" He pounded the older man on the back. “Doc! For Criminy sake! You don’t know how glad I am to see you."

  “I can guess."

  “Look, Doc — where have you been? How did you get here?

  Did the fireballs snag you, too?"

  “One thing at a time, son. Let’s have breakfast." There was a double ration of food and water on the “floor" near them. Graves picked up a sphere, nicked it expertly, and drank it without losing a drop. Eisenberg watched him knowingly.

  “You’ve been here for some time."

  “That’s right."

  “Did the fireballs get you the same time they got me?"

  “No." He reached for the food. “I came up the Kanaka Pillar."

  “What!"

  “That’s right. Matter of fact, I was looking for you."

  “The hell you say!"

  “But I do say. It looks as if my wild hypothesis was right; the Pillars and the fireballs are different manifestations of the same cause — X!"

  It seemed almost possible to hear the wheels whir in Eisenberg’s head. “But, Doc … look here, Doc, that means your whole hypothesis was correct. Somebody did the whole thing. Somebody has us locked up here now."

  “That’s right." He munched slowly. He seemed tired, older and thinner than the way Eisenberg remembered him. “Evidence of intelligent control. Always was. No other explanation."

  “But who?"

  “Ah!"

  “Some foreign power? Are we up against something utterly new in the way of an attack?"

  “Hummph! Do you think the Russians, for instance, would bother to serve us water like this?" He held up one of the dainty little spheres.

  “Who, then?"

  “I wouldn’t know. Call 'em Martians — that’s a convenient way to think of them."

  “Why Martians?"

  “No reason. I said that was a convenient way to think of them."

  “Convenient how?"

  “Convenient because it keeps you from thinking of them as human beings — which they obviously aren’t. Nor animals. Something very intelligent, but not animals, because they are smarter than we are. Martians."

  “But … but — Wait a minute. Why do you assume that your X people aren’t human? Why not humans who have a lot of stuff on the ball that we don’t have? New scientific advances?"

  “That’s a fair question," Graves answered, picking his teeth with a forefinger. “I’ll give you a fair answer. Because in the present state of the world we know pretty near where all the best minds are and what they are doing. Advances, like these couldn’t be hidden and would be a long time in developing. X indicates evidence of a half a dozen different lines of development that are clear beyond our ken and which would require years of work by hundreds of researchers, to say the very least. Ipso facto, nonhuman science.

  “Of course," he continued, “if you want to postulate a mad scientist and a secret laboratory, I can’t argue with you. But I’m not writing Sunday supplements."

  Bill Eisenberg kept very quiet for some time, while he considered what Graves said in the light of his own experience.

  “You’re right, Doc," he finally admitted. “Shucks — you’re usually right when we have an argument. It has to be Martians. Oh, I don’t mean inhabitants of Mars; I mean some form of intelligent life from outside this planet."

  “Maybe."

  “But you just said so!"

  “No, I said it was a convenient way to look at it."

  “But it has to be by elimination."

  “Elimination is a tricky line of reasoning."

  “What else could it be?"

  “Mm-m-m. I’m not prepared to say just what I do think — yet. But there are stronger reasons than we have mentioned for concluding that we are up against nonhumans. Psychological reasons."

  “What sort?"

  “X doesn’t treat prisoners in any fashion that arises out of human behavior patterns. Think it over."

  They had a lot to talk about; much more than X, even though X was a subject they were bound to return to. Graves gave Bill a simple bald account of how he happened to go up the Pillar — an account which Bill found very moving for what was left out, rather than told. He felt suddenly very humble and unworthy as he looked at his elderly, frail friend.

  “Doc, you don’t look well."

  “I’ll do."

  “That trip up the Pillar was hard on you. You shouldn’t have tried it."

  Graves shrugged. “I made out all right." But he had not, and Bill could see that he had not. The old man was “poorly."

  They slept and they ate and they talked and they slept again. The routine that Eisenberg had grown used to alone continued, save with company. But Graves grew no stronger.

  “Doc, it’s up to us to do something about it."

  “About what?"

  “The whole situation. This thing that has happened to us is an intolerable menace to the whole human race. We don’t know what may have happened down below —"

  “Why do you say 'down below’?"

  “Why, you came up the Pillar."

  “Yes, true — but I don’t know when or how I was taken out of the bathysphere, nor where they may have taken me. But go ahead. Let’s have your idea."

  “Well, but — OK — we don’t know what may have happened to the rest of the human race. The fireballs may be picking them off one at a time, with no chance to fight back and no way of guessing what has been going on. We have some idea of the answer. It’s up to us to escape and warn them. There may be some way of fighting back. It’s our duty; the whole future of the human race may depend on it."

  Graves was silent so long after Bill had finished his tocsin that Bill began to feel embarrassed, a bit foolish. But when he finally spoke it was to agree. “I think you are right, Bill. I think it quite possible that you are right. Not necessarily, but distinctly possible. And that possibility does place an obligation on us to all mankind. I’ve known it. I knew it before we got into this mess, but I did not have enough data to justify shouting. 'Wolf!’

  “The question is," he went on, “how can we give such a warning — now?"

  “We’ve got to escape!"

  “Ah."

  “There must be some way."

  “Can you suggest one?"

  “Maybe. We haven’t been able to find any way in or out of this place, but there must be a way — has to be; we were brought in. Furthermore, our rations are put inside every day — somehow. I tried once to stay awake long enough to see how it was done, but I fell asleep —"

  “So did I."

  “Uh-huh. I’m not surprised. But there are two of us now; we could take turns, watch on and watch off, until something happened."

  Graves nodded. “It’s worth trying."

  Since they had no way of measuring the watches, each kept the vigil until sleepiness became intolerable, then awakened the other. But nothing happened. Their food ran out, was not replaced. They conserved their water balls with care, were finally reduced to one, which was not drunk because each insisted on being noble about it — the other must drink it! But still no manifestation of any sort from their unseen Captors.


  After an unmeasured and unestimated length of time — but certainly long, almost intolerably long — at a time when Eisenberg was in a light, troubled sleep, he was suddenly awakened by a touch and the sound of his name. He sat up, blinking, disoriented. “Who? What? Wha’sa matter?"

  “I must have dozed off," Graves said miserably. “I’m sorry, Bill." Eisenberg looked where Graves pointed. Their food and water had been renewed.

  Eisenberg did not suggest a renewal of the experiment. In the first place, it seemed evident that their keepers did not intend for them to learn the combination to their cell and were quite intelligent enough to outmaneuver their necessarily feeble attempts. In the second place, Graves was an obviously sick man; Eisenberg did not have the heart to suggest another long, grueling, half-starved vigil.

  But, lacking knowledge of the combination, it appeared impossible to break jail. A naked man is a particularly helpless creature; lacking materials wherewith to fashion tools, he can do little. Eisenberg would have swapped his chances for eternal bliss for a diamond drill, an acetylene torch, or even a rusty, secondhand chisel. Without tools of some sort it was impressed on him that he stood about as much chance of breaking out of his cage as his goldfish, Cleo and Patra, had of chewing their way out of a glass bowl.

  “Doc?"

  “Yes, son."

  “We’ve tackled this the wrong way. We know that X is intelligent; instead of trying to escape, we should be trying to establish communication."

  “How?"

  “I don’t know. But there must be some way."

  But if there was, he could never conjure it up. Even if he assumed that his captors could see and hear him, how was he to convey intelligence to them by word or gesture? Was it theoretically possible for any nonhuman being, no matter how intelligent, to find a pattern of meaning in human speech symbols, if he encountered them without context, without background, without pictures, without pointing? It is certainly true that the human race, working under much more favorable circumstances, has failed almost utterly to learn the languages of the other races of animals.

  What should he do to attract their attention, stimulate their interest? Recite the “Gettysburg Address"? Or the multiplication table? Or, if he used gestures, would deaf-and-dumb language mean any more, or any less, to his captors than the sailor’s hornpipe?

  “Doc?"

  “What is it, Bill?" Graves was sinking; he rarely initiated a conversation these “days."

  “Why are we here? I’ve had it in the back of my mind that eventually they would take us out and do something with us. Try to question us, maybe. But it doesn’t look like they meant to."

  “No, it doesn’t."

  “Then why are we here? Why do they take care of us?"

  Graves paused quite a long time before answering: “I think that they are expecting us to reproduce."

  “What!"

  Graves shrugged.

  “But that’s ridiculous."

  “Surely. But would they know it?"

  “But they are intelligent."

  Graves chuckled, the first time he had done so in many sleeps. “Do you know Roland Young’s little verse about the flea:

  “A funny creature is the Flea

  You cannot tell the She from He.

  But He can tell — and so can She."

  “After all, the visible differences between men and women are quite superficial and almost negligible — except to men and women!"

  Eisenberg found the suggestion repugnant, almost revolting; he struggled against it. “But look, Doc — even a little study would show them that the human race is divided up into sexes. After all, we aren’t the first specimens they’ve studied."

  “Maybe they don’t study us."

  “Huh?"

  “Maybe we are just — pets."

  Pets! Bill Eisenberg’s morale had stood up well in the face of danger and uncertainty. This attack on it was more subtle. Pets! He had thought of Graves and himself as prisoners of war, or, possibly, objects of scientific research. But pets!

  “I know how you feel," Graves went on, watching his face, “It’s … it’s humiliating from an anthropocentric viewpoint. But I think it may be true. I may as well tell you my own private theory as to the possible nature of X, and the relation of X to the human race. I haven’t up to now, as it is almost sheer conjecture, based on very little data. But it does cover the known facts.

  “I conceive of the X creatures as being just barely aware of the existence of men, unconcerned by them, and almost completely uninterested in them."

  “But they hunt us!"

  “Maybe. Or maybe they just pick us up occasionally by accident. A lot of men have dreamed about an impingement of nonhuman intelligences on the human race. Almost without exception the dream has taken one of two forms, invasion and war, or exploration and mutual social intercourse.

  Both concepts postulate that nonhumans are enough like us either to fight with us or talk to us — treat us as equals, one way or the other. I don’t believe that X is sufficiently interested in human beings to want to enslave them, or even exterminate them. They may not even study us, even when we come under their notice. They may lack the scientific spirit in the sense of having a monkeylike curiosity about everything that moves. For that matter, how thoroughly do we study other life forms? Did you ever ask your goldfish for their views on goldfish poetry or politics? Does a termite think that a woman’s place is in the home? Do beavers prefer blondes or brunettes?"

  “You are joking."

  “No, I’m not! Maybe the life forms I mentioned don’t have such involved ideas. My point is: if they did, or do, we’d never guess it. I don’t think X conceives of the human race as intelligent."

  Bill chewed this for a while, then added: “Where do you think they came from, Doc? Mars, maybe? Or clear out of the Solar System?"

  “Not necessarily. Not even probably. It’s my guess that they came from the same place we did — from up out of the slime of this planet."

  “Really, Doc —"

  “I mean it. And don’t give me that funny look. I may be sick, but I’m not balmy. Creation took eight days!"

  “Huh?"

  “I’m using biblical language. 'And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.’ And so it came to pass. But nobody mentioned the stratosphere."

  “Doc — are you sure you feel all right?"

  “Dammit — quit trying to psychoanalyze me! I’ll drop the allegory. What I mean is: We aren’t the latest nor the highest stage in evolution. First the oceans were populated. Then lungfish to amphibian, and so on up, until the continents were populated, and, in time, man ruled the surface of the earth — or thought he did. But did evolution stop there? I think not. Consider — from a fish’s point of view air is a hard vacuum. From our point of view the upper reaches of the atmosphere, sixty, seventy, maybe a hundred thousand feet up seem like a vacuum and unfit to sustain life. But it’s not vacuum. It’s thin, yes, but there is matter there and radiant energy. Why not life, intelligent life, highly evolved as it would have to be — but evolved from the same ancestry as ourselves and fish? We wouldn’t see it happen; man hasn’t been aware, in a scientific sense, that long. When our grand-daddies were swinging in the trees, it had already happened."

  Eisenberg took a deep breath. “Just wait a minute, Doc. I’m not disputing the theoretical possibility of your thesis, but it seems to me it is out on direct evidence alone. We’ve never seen them, had no direct evidence of them. At least, not until lately. And we should have seen them."

  “Not necessarily. Do ants see men? I doubt it."

  “Yes — but, consarn it, a man has better eyes than an ant."

  “Better eyes for what? For his own needs. Suppose the X-creatures are too high up, or too tenuous, or too fast-moving! for us to notice the
m. Even a thing as big and as solid and as slow as an airplane can go up high enough to go out of sight, even on a clear day. If X is tenuous and even semitransparent, we never would see them — not even as occultations of stars, or shadows against the moon — though as a matter of fact there have been some very strange stories of just that sort of thing."

  Eisenberg got up and stomped up and down. “Do you mean to suggest," he demanded, “that creatures so insubstantial they can float in a soft vacuum built the Pillars?"

  “Why not? Try explaining how a half-finished, naked embryo like homo sapiens built the Empire State Building."

  Bill shook his head. “I don’t get it."

  “You don’t try. Where do you think this came from? Graves held up one of the miraculous little water spheres.

  “My guess is that life on this planet is split three ways, with almost no intercourse between the three. Ocean culture, land culture, and another — call it stratoculture. Maybe a fourth down under the crust — but we don’t know. We know a little about life under the sea, because we are curious. But how much do they know of us? Do a few dozen bathysphere descents constitute an invasion? A fish that sees our bathysphere might go home and take to his bed with a sick headache, but he wouldn’t talk about it, and he wouldn’t be believed if he did. If a lot of fish see us and swear out affidavits, along comes a fish-psychologist and explains it as mass hallucination.

  “No, it takes something at least as large and solid and permanent as the Pillars to have any effect on orthodox conceptions. Casual visitations have no real effect."

  Eisenberg let his thoughts simmer for some time before commenting further. When he did, it was half to himself. “I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it!"

  “Believe what?"