by Quinn Loftis
Zara threw her head back and laughed. The room that had been full of murmurs quieted down as all the eyes turned to look at them. Bethany glanced quickly around but then focused on the other she-wolf.
“The truth is, Z, I went into hell not much more than a child. I never expected to have anything. The thought of losing everything I’ve gained now is horrifying. And now that I’m pregnant, there’s a part of me that mourns the fact that if Drake dies, then I die. But then there’s the half of my soul that is a part of his, and I wouldn’t want to live without him either.”
“If something happens to Wadim, then the amazing life I finally have is just…” Zara’s words faded off as if she couldn’t bear to speak them out loud.
Bethany completely understood. She didn’t voice any more of her own concerns for fear that it would somehow bring them to pass. “You and Wadim seem to be a good fit,” she said.
Zara’s lips turned up just a bit. “Soul mates.” She chuckled. “Who would have thought they’re actually real.”
“Right?” Bethany smiled. Her mind went back to when she’d first met Drake. She remembered being in the room with the cage, seeing him pace back and forth, constantly staring at her as if he were scared she’d disappear. She recalled how reverently he’d touched her, and he still did. Sometimes he still looked at her as if she’d disappear if he blinked. Bethany felt his fear and his pure joy at having his true mate, at having her in his life.
“It’s too much to take in sometimes,” Zara said, interrupting her memories. “Their emotions are intense. All I felt for so long was hate. And then I bumped into Wadim, literally, and there was this happiness that wasn’t just happiness. It was pure and full of hope. I didn’t know how to process it, and I still don’t know how to sometimes.” She looked at Bethany’s stomach, and then her lips tightened. “I can’t even complete the bonding.” Zara’s voice was filled with shame, and Bethany didn’t like that. Zara had nothing to be ashamed of.
“No one can tell you when to be ready for marriage. And that’s what it is to them, the bonding, the Blood Rites. It’s the Canis lupus version of marriage, and that’s a freaking huge commitment. Even though you know he’s your soul mate. You feel everything he does. You know his thoughts and he knows yours. None of that means you have to just rush up to the proverbial altar.”
“He’s been waiting for his true mate, Bethany,” Zara said softly. “They all have or still are. The males who aren’t mated, I see the way they look at Wadim, Drake, Decebel, and the others. They aren’t envious. They are awed and desperate for the same thing. It’s not a wicked look in their eyes, not a coveting look. It’s just so wanting, a longing that looks painful.”
Bethany knew what she was talking about. She’d seen it, too, in the unmated males, and it was difficult to watch.
“Wadim has his true mate, and yet at the same time, he doesn’t.” Zara sighed and slumped against the table. She rested her elbows on it and then laid her head in her hands. “I can feel his wolf’s longing. I can feel both of their needs, and yet I can’t get past my own fear. I know Wadim would never hurt me. But my mind…”
“Our bodies heal much faster than our minds do, Zara. And even then, every person heals at their own speed in their own time. I don’t know your whole story, but I see the pain in your eyes. You experienced something even I didn’t go through. You’ve got to give yourself some grace. Wadim is a good man. And it’s very obvious he is deeply in love with you. He’s going to be patient.”
The younger female nodded and laughed quietly. “He said he didn’t care if our relationship never progressed physically. He’s the other half of my soul, and I’m the other half of his. For him, that’s enough.”
Bethany had to admit that regardless of the fact that the Canis lupus males were flawed, they were pretty amazing when it came to their devotion to their true mate. “And you know you can believe him because you can feel the truth of it in his words and emotions.”
Zara nodded. “Honestly, it makes it a little easier that he can feel my emotions. I don’t have to convince Wadim it’s not him, that it’s not in any way related to him. He understands because of everything that’s happened to me. When I want to talk about it, he listens. When I don’t want to talk about it, he’s just there for me.
“I want to be that for him, you know? I need Wadim to feel like he knows that I’m with him. He’s my ride or die.”
“He knows, Zara,” Bethany assured her. “But I get it. You don’t feel like you have anything to offer.”
“Exactly.”
“I’ve done that song and dance,” Bethany admitted. “And it leads nowhere but down a path of lies. If you had nothing to offer, then the Great Luna would not have made you Wadim’s true mate. But she did. You have strengths where he has weaknesses, and he has strengths where you have weaknesses. You complement one another, but that doesn’t mean you are perfect or that your relationship will be easy.
“Drake and I have already had a couple of pretty big battles of will. Being soul mates doesn’t mean no problems. But you have plenty to offer him. You’re his best friend. You’re the one he will turn to when he knows he can’t go anywhere else because you will always accept him and always love him, even when it’s hard.” Bethany squeezed Zara’s hand, the one she hadn’t even realized she was still holding. “We’re going to be okay, Zara. We will figure this out, and I’m here for you, too. Sometimes we need another female to help us get our thoughts straight. Please know that you can always come to me.”
Zara leaned over and wrapped an arm around Bethany, giving her a side squeeze. “I’m not much of a hugger,” Zara said, “but this was definitely a hug-worthy conversation. And one I didn’t even know I needed. Thank you, Bethany. Wadim has said similar things, but it’s nice to hear it from someone who has felt similar feelings to what I’m feeling.”
Bethany understood that. Having someone who could relate to you and say, “It’s okay to feel that way. You’re not defective.” It was something that could soothe the ache inside of you. She was just about to say as much when she felt a sharp pain rip through her abdomen.
“Bethany!” Zara’s voice blended with the voice of Drake’s as she tumbled backward from the bench she’d been sitting on. Another sharp pain stole her breath before the darkness took her.
Chapter 12
“Most people shy away from pain. But not me. I embrace it. Pain means I can still feel. It means I am still alive, and if I am still alive, then so is she.” ~Drake
* * *
“Where the hell are they coming from?” Drake growled as he wielded the fae sword that the elf prince had tossed at him the moment he and his mate, Cyn, had arrived on the grounds in front of the Keep. Vasile had sent out a group of warriors while he’d discussed battle plans with King Cypher, Thalion, Jareth, and the other pack alphas. Less than fifteen minutes later, the other wolves and supernaturals had joined them by being flashed into the middle of the battle by more fae warriors.
“Would it be cliché if I said, ‘out of the woodwork’?” Thalion, the elf prince, asked as he wielded his own sword with expert precision.
“I’ll forgive it this time,” Drake answered. “Considering it does seem like these elves are literally emerging from the damn trees.” As soon as one enemy fell, two more took their place.
“My father has more loyal followers than I realized,” Thalion said and then shouted, “Behind you!”
Drake pivoted one hundred and eighty degrees, his sword swinging up in an arc as he caught sight of the hissing vampire soaring through the air toward him. His blade sunk deep into the chest of the bloodsucker. When the vamp hit the ground, Drake pulled the sword out and then sliced it across the neck, severing the head in one clean sweep—one of three ways to make sure a vampire didn’t rise again. The others were to remove the heart or set them on fire, but Drake didn’t have that kind of time.
When he turned back to where Thalion had been, Drake saw that the battlefield was so
full it was nearly impossible to see more than five feet in front of him because of so many struggling bodies. He also noticed that it was dark, unnaturally dark. In fact if not for the magic the fae and elves were throwing around, it would have been impossible to see.
“They’re using a spell,” Thalion called out.
“It’s fae blood magic,” Cyn said as she stood at his back, protecting him as he was her. “I can sense it. Alston has stooped to a new low.” Cyn’s skin began to glow, much like Peri’s did when she was using some serious power, though it wasn’t as bright, but it did help make it easier to see.
Drake wasn’t surprised. Alston had proven he had no morals. Drake’s attention was then caught by another glowing female fae he didn’t recognize. She was fighting three vampires. His eyes connected with the fae’s, and he gave a slight nod toward the vampire on her right. Drake pushed up with his legs, using his wolf’s power to jump over the vamp in front of him. It drew the attention from all three of them, allowing the female to take out the other two while Drake beheaded the one he landed right in front of.
He turned to check and see if he had a foe at his back and saw Cypher had joined them. The fae warrior, Vale, appeared next to them with the warlock king in tow and Lilly, his mate, at his side. Drake had seen Lilly join them in the hall when Vasile had taken the call from the sprite queen, but he thought she might stay behind to protect those who stayed inside.
“Blood magic,” Vale hissed, and his skin, like Cyn’s, began to glow.
Drake’s attention shifted to Lilly. “Should you be fighting?” Drake called out to the warlock queen. Her daughter was in the hands of the enemy. Drake didn’t know if he would be able to focus enough to do battle if his child had been captured.
Cypher just shook his head at him. “Her daughter and our grandson are in the hands of the Order,” he said. “Her blood lust needs to be satisfied.”
Okay, that I can understand. Perhaps he would be able to focus if it meant getting to kill people within the organization that had captured his child.
Lilly’s eyes narrowed dangerously as she slammed her foot into the stomach of a vampire that had been running straight for her. The vamp flew back a good fifteen feet and hit a tree before crumpling to the ground. “My mate has been training me,” she said in a deadly voice before turning her attention back to the battle.
“Y’all look like you’re having all the fun over here,” Tyler, the alpha of the Missouri pack, said as he fought his way toward them.
Drake’s arm came up as a fae blade swung out toward Cypher. He caught it on his own and felt the vibration of it all the way up his arm. “You seem to be having plenty of fun yourself,” he ground out through his teeth at Tyler, who simply laughed. Drake was beginning to wonder if the older a wolf got, the crazier he became because Tyler seemed to be having way too much fun.
“My wolves were feeling cheated out of a battle,” Jeff Stone, the Coldspring pack alpha, said as he moved into place at Tyler’s back, offering protection as he took on a couple of vampires attempting to sneak up on the other alpha. “It’s a good thing our wolves can see in the dark,” Tyler growled as he slammed his fist into a warlock's face. “It’s black as pitch.”
Behind him, Drake heard the djinn warrior’s voice. “I can fight alongside you here, Vasile. But I’ll have to be just as conservative with my power as I was in the previous battle.”
“Be as conservative as you need,” Vasile said. “I’m just glad you all decided to join us. Can you help with the darkness? I can smell the dark magic being used to create a spell.”
“I can definitely take care of that,” Jareth said, and it sounded like he was smiling.
Drake nearly shouted an amen to that but didn’t have time as the fae he was going toe-to-toe with was giving him a serious run for his money. But they certainly needed the numbers, and it would be nice to be able to see if a blade was coming at your throat. The pack might have had the upper hand if the Order didn’t have their own fae fighting with them, and if they hadn’t been using some sort of spell to make the darkness damn near impenetrable, even with wolf eyes. But as it was, the Order seemed to be taking control of the battle simply because of the vampires. They weren’t necessarily skilled fighters, but their sheer numbers were becoming overwhelming.
Riven appeared beside him and held out his hand. A bolt of light shot from it, hitting the other fae in the chest. Drake’s eyes widened as the light seemed to spread through the fae’s torso until there was a gaping hole, and the male crumpled to the ground. Drake turned his head to look at Riven. His eyes were wide as he stared at the taller fae. “I’m going to be honest right now, though I might deny it later. I really want that superpower.” Riven simply grinned and then turned to take on the next foe.
A moment later, the battlefield lit up with thousands of white lights floating everywhere. For a second it confused the enemy, and Drake was able to take out several vamps one right after the other. Then the Order army refocused, and Drake flinched as he heard a nearby shout. He saw Jeff wielding his sword against two fae, and he was impressed with the skill. But they were pushing him back, and he needed help. Just as Drake was about to assist the Coldspring alpha, a sharp pain sliced through his abdomen. He gasped as he looked down and saw a short sword protruding from his stomach. Though he desperately tried to remain standing, his body didn’t cooperate. Drake fell backward. The last thing he saw before the darkness swallowed him was the face of his mate in his mind’s eye.
“I want to know how they knew we were coming.” Decebel growled as he paced the living room of the Colorado pack mansion. A week had passed, and they’d yet to figure out who the traitor was in their alliance, who had warned the Order that they were about to be attacked. Dillon had questioned every member of his pack. Using alpha commands, they could not lie to him. They were all innocent. Decebel was beyond restless, and the only thing keeping him calm was his ability to feel and communicate with his mate. “I don’t understand why someone would betray us, would betray Vasile.” Then again, Skender had done it, though he claimed it was for his mate. Maybe Decebel could have understood that. Maybe. But it had been a lie.
“What makes you think it’s someone in Vasile’s pack?” Dillon asked.
Decebel’s steps faltered as the words sunk in. “I guess I just assumed it was someone in our pack because of Skender. And it’s not someone in your pack. I’m not having a lot of faith in the loyalty I once thought was ingrained in Canis lupus,” he admitted.
Aidan, one of Dillon’s dominant wolves spoke up. “No one wants to think that anyone in their family is capable of betraying them. But being Canis lupus doesn’t make us perfect. We still have the capacity for evil.”
“The fact is,” Dillon said, “while it may not have been someone in my pack, that doesn’t automatically mean the traitor is in the Romania pack. There are the Missouri and Coldspring packs to consider. Whoever it is, they won’t be able to hide forever. Eventually, the truth will come out.”
“I hate sitting around waiting,” Fane snapped. Decebel had noticed the younger wolf was becoming increasingly agitated with each passing day, which Decebel completely understood. Fane’s eyes had switched back and forth from his wolf form to his human form the past two days. Decebel had made sure that they slept in the same room every night, so that he could be there if Fane’s wolf began to lose control. But so far, the younger wolf had kept himself in check.
“There’s not really any other choice at this point.” Dillon sighed, his narrowed eyes conveying the same frustration that Decebel and the others were feeling.
Decebel couldn’t disagree with Fane. Waiting was its own special form of hell.
Fane’s wolf was ravenous. He wanted the bone, flesh, and blood of his enemies between his jaws. He wanted to take action. He wanted his pup and mate back safe beside him where they belonged. Instead, he was standing in the Denver, Colorado pack mansion, staring out a large window that displayed what he knew to be majestic
mountains. But the only thing he could see was their faces.
Five days. It had been five days since Fane had held his female and child. He’d been in this position too many times before, but this time, it wasn’t just his Luna. It was Slate, as well, which made Jacquelyn even more vulnerable. She would do anything to protect their child, which both impressed him and terrified him.
“Wolf-man?” Jacquelyn’s voice filled his mind, and like all the times before when she reached out to him, for a brief minute, he could breathe.
“Are you alright? How is Slate?” He tried to keep the growl from his voice, but his wolf had too much control. He’d been able to feel her, but she’d had the bond closed enough so he couldn’t speak with her. Fane hadn’t wanted to distract her by pushing harder to get through. He figured Jacque had to have had a reason to keep him blocked, and he trusted her judgment.
“We’re fine,” she assured him. “They haven’t come for me, and Slate is still with me. They haven’t hurt us. They bring us food and have provided what I need to care for Slate. It’s almost like an unwanted stay in a hotel with decent room service.” She was trying to lift his spirits by joking, but he couldn’t bring himself to laugh.
Fane growled. “They took you. I consider that hurting you both. Alston and Skender will die horribly for touching you and our pup.”
“Are you okay?”
Fane could hear the worry in her voice and feel the anxiety coming through the bond, but it wasn’t for her and Slate. It was all for Fane. She was terrified he was going to do something drastic. She knew him well.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” he told her gently. “I promise I won’t do anything stupid.”
“I can feel your wolf, Fane. He’s holding it together by a thread.”
Fane took several deep breaths and forced his wolf back so he could think clearly and comfort his mate. He didn’t want her concerned about him. He needed Jacque to focus on taking care of herself and Slate. “I’ve got him under control. He needs his mate and pup. But I’m not in danger of going feral.” He didn’t add “yet” to the end of the sentence, even though he knew Jacquelyn could hear the unspoken word. His mate was no fool, and she had been with him long enough to know how crazy his wolf got when she was in danger.
