by Quinn Loftis
“I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Ludcarab didn’t keep his end of the bargain,” Peri said dryly.
“Your limb will hold fast,” Adira acknowledged. “Ainsel knows that there is no negotiating with evil.”
“As much as that sucks, at least the mystery is solved,” Peri said.
“Glad somebody said it,” Jen said.
“Peri,” Adira said, grabbing her attention back, “there are some pixies loyal to you. You know that. And this betrayal will only bolster their loyalty. They will be at the Blood Moon ceremony and in any battles that follow.”
“Thank you,” Peri said. “You are the leader that your king is not, and the leader your people need.”
“Speaking of the Blood Moon,” Fane said, his voice slightly less growly. “It happens tomorrow night. I am appreciative for every person here. We know what we must do. Already, the fae have taken action to obey the Great Luna. Tonight, I wish to spend time with my family, my pack, and to say my goodbyes to my parents in private.
“Each of you needs to prepare your people, all of them willing to stand with the Great Luna, to come into the human realm and bear witness to her decrees. The fae”—he turned to Disir —“know where to bring everyone, correct?”
Disir nodded. “We have long memories, Alpha.”
“Then we will see you all tomorrow night, under the Blood Moon on the battlefield where my alphas and many other wolves shed their blood during the werewolf wars.”
When he finished speaking, Peri added, “Our members will get you all to your veils. Please follow their instructions.”
The room broke into a soft rumble as the gathering ended, and the fae warriors took care of getting the other races situated to flash.
Peri and Lucian, as well as Fane and Jacquelyn, said their goodbyes and gave their respect to the fae council and djinn elders. Then their usual group gathered together on the platform, forming a tight circle. Bethany and Drake were the only ones not present because Drake still needed rest, especially if he was going to attend the ceremony. Andora was the only new addition.
“What part are you going to play in this?” Peri asked the sprite queen.
“We will aid as we did in the battle in Arizona and the Keep. But we cannot give any more prophecy. The price is too high.”
Andora looked at Fane, her eyes full of sorrow and some regret, too. “Had I not warned your father of the coming battle at the Keep, the death toll would have been more devastating than you can imagine. Not to minimize your parents' sacrifice,” she added quickly. “I made the decision I thought your father and mother would ask me to choose.”
Peri frowned. “The Great Luna said it was their time.”
“Does that mean they would have died regardless of whether she told them what was coming?” Jacque asked.
“It means they would have died, but their death wouldn’t have been that of a sacrificial lamb, so to speak,” Fane said. “Because everyone else would have died as well.” He looked at Andora as he stood tall and unwavering despite speaking of the fact that his parents had been struck down for the sake of their pack. “You made the right choice. My parents would have willingly fallen on their own swords if it meant saving their pack, and not just the wolves, but those who have become pack through their loyalty and willingness to do what is right even when it comes at great cost.”
Andora bowed to Fane. “I am honored to have known them. And I am honored to fight with your pack.”
Fane tilted his head slightly and gave the queen a nod. Peri noticed Jacque lean into her mate. Normally, Peri would have thought it was to support him, but when she looked at his mate’s face, she saw the exhaustion there. She glanced around at the others: Jen, Sally, Crina, Elle, Zara, Cyn, and Rachel. They all looked ready to collapse, and their mates didn’t look much better.
Her gaze caught Nissa, who had chosen not to return to Farie with the other high fae, and then Adam’s. Peri made a motion with her finger in a circle and mouthed, “Let’s wrap it up and get them home.” The two fae nodded.
“Thank you, Andora, for hosting,” Peri said. “We will plan to see you tomorrow night.”
“Of course,” the sprite queen said.
“It’s time to get you all to the Keep,” Peri told the group. “Lilly, we will get you and your guard returned as well.”
Lilly hugged Jacque again, and then took Slate from Gavril and kissed his forehead. She whispered something, and Peri saw a tendril of magic swirl over him. She narrowed her eyes on the silver strand that seemed to wrap around Slate. It was a ward of some kind. She made a mental note to check it out at some point, maybe when the world wasn’t ending.
“I’ll help before Thalion and I head back to our realm,” Cyn said.
“Thank you.” Peri glanced out over the now-empty great hall. She couldn't help but wonder how many of the lives that had filled this room tonight would not make it out of this period of war. Because that is what they were facing. A civil war of the supernatural races. It was possibly the war that would end all wars because it could literally end the world altogether.
Chapter 20
“A time for war and a time for peace.”
~Human Bible, the Word of the Creator of humankind.
* * *
Fane held Jacquelyn’s hand too tightly. He knew it, but he couldn’t loosen his grip. His posture was rigid, yet his legs shook. As soon as they’d arrived at the Keep, Jacque had taken care of their son's needs, Fane had rocked him to sleep, and then Gavril and Rachel had offered to keep him.
“He will be safe with us,” Gavril said. “You need to go to your parents. It won’t take the pain away, but it will give you a measure of peace.”
Fane and Jacque walked in silence down the stairs leading to the room where his parents had been laid for their temporary resting place. When they reached the door, Fane froze in front of it. His heart beat painfully in his chest, and his mouth was so dry that he could barely swallow. His airway felt as if it were closing up, and no matter how hard he tried to breathe, he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs.
Then, she was there. His amazing mate, using her free hand to turn his face and pull his head toward hers until their foreheads touched. “Let yourself grieve, my love,” she said softly. “You’re fighting it, but you don’t have to. There’s no one here but us. You don’t have to be alpha of the Romania pack right now. At this moment, you’re a son who’s lost his parents. You're a wolf who’s lost his alphas. You’re a father whose child will never know his grandparents.
“Let yourself lament all of that loss. If you hold it inside, over time it will eat you from the inside out. You have got to let yourself grieve.”
Fane took several deep breaths, letting her scent flow over him and into him. His wolf hurt just as badly as the man. To his beast, Vasile hadn’t just been his alpha. He’d been his sire. He’d been there through his first phase. He’d been there for his first hunt. He’d been there when Fane had been confused about why he’d felt the strong pull to go to the U.S.A. And through it all, his wolf had had the guidance of Vasile’s own beast. Their wolves had been as close as father and son had been.
“It hurts,” he whispered through clenched teeth as tears began to fill his eyes. Jacque was right. In front of everyone, he’d felt it was important that they saw him as capable of leading. His wolf needed to exert his dominance so that none would dare challenge him. His father had chosen him to take his place, and Fane would not shy away from the responsibility, no matter that it fell on his shoulders much sooner than he’d ever expected. But now, there was no audience. There was no one to be strong for. His mate would always accept every part of him. She would never shame him for his emotions, no matter what he felt.
“It does,” Jacque agreed. “A physical wound would be less painful, of that I know full well.”
“It’s wrong of me to wish it were someone else. But dammit I do, Jacquelyn. I wish it were someone else.” He would never utter such a co
nfession to anyone else. And he would probably feel differently given time to heal. He hoped he would feel differently because his mother would not approve.
“You won’t always feel this way,” his mate said, having heard his thoughts. “Let’s just focus on now. We can worry about everything else when it’s time.”
He took several more deep breaths and then stood up straight, turning his head to face the door once again. He reached out, forced his hand to grip the handle, and pushed it open. Jacque stayed by his side, her hand holding on to his. “I’m right here with you,” she said through the bond as they stepped into the room.
Their scent hit him the second he took his first breath, and suddenly he was a child again, running through the trees as his mom chased him. He could hear her laughter as she searched for him.
“I can smell you, little wolf,” she teased.
“You have to go down wind, Fane,” his father called out from where he stood watching their game of predator versus prey.
Fane took another breath, and he was sitting on his bed, his arms resting on his legs as he stared at the floor.
“You’re sure that’s where you need to go?” his father asked.
Fane nodded. “Texas. A town called Coldspring.”
“I would normally say it’s impossible, son, but I’m learning that nothing is impossible with the Great Luna. If your wolf’s instincts are saying that’s where your mate is, then we will support you. We love you more than you can possibly understand.”
“I understand now,” Fane whispered into the room as he finally let his gaze rest on their still forms. “Because I love you just as much.” He closed the space between them and stared down first at his father. His eyes were closed, and his face looked peaceful, as if he were asleep and would wake up any moment. “You gave me everything.” He reached out and placed his hand over the place where his dad's heart should have beat. “You taught me to succeed, but you also taught me to fail, because I would learn more from my failure than I ever would from my success.
“But there is so much more I need to learn from you. I’m not ready to say goodbye. Not yet.” Fane clenched his jaw as he stared at his father, his alpha. He wanted the man’s eyes to open, and when they didn’t, Fane wanted to scream at him to wake up, to quit torturing him with this charade. But this was no farce. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his father’s forehead. When he rose back up, he bared his throat to his alpha for the last time.
He stepped back and looked at Jacquelyn. He could feel her need and motioned for her to move closer. She stepped in front of him, and Fane placed his hands on her waist as she placed her hand on his father’s cheek. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead and then whispered, “Thank you.” Her words were choked as she started to cry. “He’s going to make you so proud.”
Fane swallowed hard at her declaration. It was all the more powerful because he could feel she genuinely meant it. She believed that strongly in him. When she stood back up, he pressed his lips to her neck, and then she guided him around to where his mother lay.
Fane reached out and ran his hand gently through her hair. He could remember as a child he thought her the most beautiful woman in the world. His opinion hadn’t changed. He’d simply added a woman to his heart that matched his mother in both inner and outer beauty. “I once told you that you were the first woman to have owned my heart,” Fane said, remembering the conversation they’d had after he and Jacquelyn had come so close to death. “I thought that maybe I’d hurt you because I’d given my heart to my mate. But in your wisdom, you explained you were proud that I had grown into the man who loved his mate the way you’d taught me to. You gave and gave and gave of yourself and then told me that it was an honor to be my mother. But Mama, it is I who am honored.
“For every scraped knee you patched up, regardless of the fact that it was going to heal in minutes. For every time you held my hand when I was afraid instead of making me feel weak because of it. For all the nights you sat outside with me, staring up at the moon, understanding that I didn’t need conversation. I just needed your presence. For every kind word and every prayer lifted up over me. For all the tears you’ve shed and pain you’ve felt, sleepless nights you’ve endured and sacrifices you’ve made, I am both honored and humbled.” Fane’s shoulders shook as tears ran down his face. He took his mother's face in his hands, gently cradling it, and pressed his forehead to hers.
“You get to rest now, my sweet mama. There’s no fretting. No more worry. You just rest and delight in being in the presence of our Creator. I love you.” He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent one last time.
When he stood, Jacquelyn was already moving to lean over his mother. She embraced Alina and her body trembled. He realized she was weeping. Fane felt the depth of her sorrow through their bond, and it nearly drove him to his knees. She was scared that if she didn’t allow herself to mourn now, that at the ceremony tomorrow night she would break down. He stepped closer and placed his hand on the back of her neck, beneath her hair, skin to skin. He didn’t know how much comfort he could give her, but he wanted her to know he understood and that he would stand beside her for as long she needed him to be here. They would get through this together, just like his parents had always done.
“How have you and Mom stayed so in love all these decades?” Fane asked his dad.
“Hard work.” His father’s voice filled his mind, as another cherished memory rose to the surface. He’d been telling Fane about true mates and the responsibility each one had. “You are the leader of your home, and you will be held responsible by the Great Luna for your actions and choices you make for your family. Your mate, she is the heart of your home. Just as you need to be admired by her and to feel she respects you, she needs to know that you love her, that you enjoy being in her presence. It will take work, and some days it will feel as if you can’t get along no matter how hard you try. But you don’t give up. You choose to love her anyway, just as she will continue to choose to love you.
“When you’re angry, you hold her close to remind yourself she is worth holding onto more than your anger. When she’s angry, you hold her closer to remind her that her anger won’t make you reject her. When you have days you don’t feel in love, and you will have those days, that’s when you remind yourself that the grass is not greener on the other side. It doesn’t matter who you are with, they will have faults, as you do. It is important on those days, when you are making a conscious choice to love because the feeling isn’t happening, that you show your commitment. Just because you are true mates does not mean things are easy. When you have days where you look at her, and your heart nearly hurts with how much you need her, you tell her, because those days are precious. We never know if we have tomorrow, so make sure that she knows every day that she is yours and you are hers.”
The words faded from his mind as he stared at his mate. The wisdom his father had given to him that day he knew without a doubt would make his relationship with Jacquelyn healthier. He’d prepared Fane for things that the younger man would never have even considered. And because of that, when he and Jacquelyn faced those trials, Fane would have the wisdom to fall back on. “Thank you,” he said quietly, still unable to stop the tears of loss that slowly trailed down his face.
* * *
Jacque had no idea when the dam had broken, but at some point while Fane had been saying his goodbyes, she’d simply lost it. And now, she’d found herself holding Alina as if she could somehow force life back into her. It was as if she’d just found out all over again that they were gone, the gaping wound suddenly torn open, exposing raw nerves.
“Just a few more minutes,” she whispered as she laid her head on Alina’s shoulder. Whatever spell Peri had used, it kept her in-laws feeling normal, warm without the chill of death. Jacque couldn’t understand why she couldn’t get her emotions under control. She’d told herself she would be strong for Fane, and yet here she was falling apart. She thought back to her words to Fan
e and realized they weren’t just words. They were true. This hurt. It hurt until she couldn’t breathe, until she just didn’t want to breathe because that seemed better than feeling this agony.
When her tears finally ran out, Jacque leaned back and smiled down at the woman who’d become a second mother. “Thank you, too. You didn’t lose Fane’s heart. You simply gained mine. I hope that I can be half the alpha that you were.”
When she stood up, Fane immediately turned her and held her against him. She pressed her face into his chest and soaked up his strength. “I love you, Fane Lupei.”
“As I love you, Luna,” he said, his chest rumbling as he spoke. “Thank you, for being here with me, for loving them as I do.”
They stayed like that, quietly holding onto each other until the exhaustion of everything settle over Jacque. She felt raw, but at the same time, a small amount of peace had been hard won through the time spent with Vasile and Alina. It was a precious time they’d both needed.
“Let’s get some sleep,” Fane said, his own voice rough with emotion. “We will need rest for what is to come.”
She nodded and let him lead her from the room. He closed the door gently behind him and then placed his hand against it, quietly standing there a moment before turning away. They walked hand in hand back to the room they’d been given. Slate was no doubt asleep in Gavril’s arms because it turned out the gruff male had a soft spot for pups. So she forced herself to let go of that worry. She just let her mind wander so she couldn’t grasp onto any one thought and obsess over it.
Fane helped her undress and get into the clothes Peri had left for her, along with a note telling them to eat the food on the table and get some rest. Her mate fed her, held her hand as they brushed their teeth, and then tucked her into bed, pulling her body tightly against his. Fane seemed to fall sleep immediately, but Jacque was almost too tired to sleep.
