by Bowes, K T
“Not much,” Logan breathed, his body rigid. Hana watched the interaction with interest. Her husband’s miserable expression struck at her core and she realised she’d seen a side of him he kept hidden.
Leslie stood up straight and pushed Logan’s hanky into her apron pocket. “Best get on,” she said, patting Hana on the arm. “Youse let me know when you wanna leave.” With the worry gone from her face, Hana saw a striking woman, her brown skin healthy and her dark eyes sparkling and glinting with pleasure. She held her portly body with grace and poise as she left the room.
Logan deflated like a balloon and sank into Hana’s vacated seat. Hana pushed herself onto his lap, forcing him to push the chair back. She ran a finger down his cheek and kissed his neck. “So, Mr Du Rose, you don’t like to be touched?”
“He moaned as she bit the soft skin under his ear lobe. “Only by you,” he whispered.
“Just as well,” Hana sighed, getting into her stride. She pushed her fingers between Logan’s and settled her lips over his, running her tongue along his bottom lip.
“Come to bed with me, wahine,” he whispered and Hana shook her head, teasing him with her fingers.
“No time,” she breathed, hearing the sound of Phoenix grizzling as Tama walked her along the hallway seeking her mother. Hana smiled at her husband’s frustrated swearing as she met Tama at the door.
“Sit down,” Tama said, “and I’ll hand her over.” He jerked his head towards Hana’s bandaged wrist. “That’s looking nasty.”
“It’s fine!” Hana said, the lightness gone from her voice. She sat at the table and accepted her baby, keen to distract the men from the weeping bandage. “Phoe’s gaining the weight she lost,” she said, latching the child onto the nipple under her tee shirt. “Hopefully when I go to the clinic they won’t have to know what happened.”
Leslie bounced back into the kitchen with a beatific look on her face. She squeezed Tama round the waist and stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips. The action made a smacking sound and Tama stepped back, horror lighting his eyes. “Thanks for helping with them debt men,” Leslie said, seizing a damp cloth and leaving the room.
Logan snorted with laughter at the sight of Tama’s scowl. “Oosh, she’s old enough to be my granny!” the teenager complained.
“It doesn’t usually bother you!” Logan chuckled and Tama sulked.
“Stop it, Loge,” Hana warned her husband, seeing Tama’s face darken as his mind turned back to Anka. He said he was over her, but Hana wondered if it was entirely the truth. Her former friend still hung as a threat between the men and it frightened her how quickly their mood could change.
She changed the subject. “I popped upstairs to see Alfred,” she began. “I caught him leaving. I’ve managed to stop him, for now.”
Logan breathed out and rolled his eyes. “Sorry, am I meant to be giving a damn?” he asked and Hana hid her dismay at Logan’s forced detachment. “You should have just let him go,” he said crossly and Hana’s face fell.
“Have you even climbed the stairs to see him since we arrived?” she asked and Logan’s sneer was all the answer she needed. “Well, Jack’s offered for Alfred to move in with him for a while, until he sorts himself out.” she said. “I stupidly thought you’d prefer to have him around.”
“Don’t care,” Logan shrugged, turning the pages of the newspaper on the table. “Do whatever you think is right.”
“I shouldn’t get involved.” Hana shook her head and looked at the baby to avoid her husband’s piercing grey eyes. “I’ll learn to stay out of your business one day.”
Tama grew still in the awkward silence, feeling the atmosphere in the room change. He could see that Hana pique would never work with someone like Logan. “I think Uncle Logan feels betrayed,” Tama ventured and both adults snapped their heads up to look at him. He quailed, but kept going. “Everyone knew Reuben was his dad except him. It’s like me thinking Kane was my dad, when really it was Michael. I was the last to know. It hurts and takes time to forgive the people that didn’t care enough to tell you the truth.” Tama resumed his work, picking at a knot in the wooden table.
Logan viewed the teenager through the corner of his eye, long lashes brushing his olive cheeks. Tama had nowhere to go. Reuben’s family were currently nomadic, billeted by the insurance company wherever it could find room, but Tama had no rights to their consideration. If it weren’t for Logan’s charity, he’d have nothing but the clothes he stood up in on the night of the fire. Logan rued the arrogance of parents who left their children to walk out the consequences of their terrible decisions. “Yeah,” he conceded. “That’s exactly how I feel.”
“Do you think,” Hana asked, her tone non-confrontational, not wanting to trespass again in areas where she had no say, “if we renovated Alfred’s apartment, Leslie might like it? It could be a fresh start for everyone.”
Logan picked at a piece of raised skin on his middle finger. He thought of the debt collector mouthing off at him and smiled in satisfaction at the man’s face as he choked on his own front teeth. “This bloody hurts,” he said, shaking his hand and watching his Factor 8 deficient blood drip onto the table. He felt Hana’s eyes on him, waiting for an answer and he shrugged. “Yeah, whatever. I really don’t give a toss. I’ll get the builders to do it at the same time as the kitchen. Until then, she can have Kane’s motel unit.”
Hana shook her head with resignation, knowing the discussion was over. Tama smiled at her in sympathy but kept silent. The way of the Du Roses was littered with glass and he knew she would have to walk it alone.
Chapter 28
“Your stitches need to come out, wahine!” Logan said forcefully and his wife resisted.
“I don’t want to go back,” she whined. “Please, I’m not ready!”
Logan let go of her wrist and ran his hand through his hair while he broke the next piece of bad news. “Odering wants to talk to you,” he said, keeping his voice light. “He’s angry at us for leaving the hospital and taking off up here. I’ve been ignoring him for days. He wants a statement and needs us to go back to Hamilton so he can get it.”
“Why didn’t you carry on ignoring him?” Hana retorted, sounding childish.
Logan sighed and rested his hand on the back of her neck. “He played dirty. He got your son to ring instead. I couldn’t ignore him, could I?”
Hana shook her head, knowing her decision not to give evidence would come as a shock to everyone. “How’s Pete doing at the boarding house?” she asked, changing the subject deliberately and expecting to hear about Pete’s latest dreadful disaster.
“Really well apparently,” Logan said with a smirk. “He’s doing all his night duties without prompting and moved into the last unit Angus renovated. The fraud cops are crawling all over the accounts and waiting for the next delivery of cabbages, so they can track it all back to the source. Yeah,” he said sounding satisfied, “I think he’s found his niche.”
“I should apologise,” Hana said, winding her fingers with shame. “I was rude to him.”
Logan shook his head. “Actually, you were the catalyst. He cares what you think, so to hear your low opinion shocked him into doing something about it.”
“I’m still not going home,” Hana said grumpily. “I’m happy here and I’m not ready.” She thought about the accusation in Amanda’s eyes and shivered, wounded to the core. “I’m not going back to the unit either,” Hana grumbled. “And I’m not living next to Amanda.”
“Any other stipulations?” Logan asked with a smile. His grey eyes laughed at Hana’s antics and she pursed her lips in annoyance.
“You can’t make me!” She stuck her nose in the air in defiance.
“Can’t I?” Logan’s dark hair flipped into his eyes and he studied his wife sideways, amusement in his face.
“No!” she said, squealing as Logan pulled her into bed with him. “Watch my arm,” she wailed, holding it above her head as he undid her jeans.
“I have no intention of lo
oking at your arm,” he chuckled. “Not when there’s more interesting parts of you.” He made love to her, temporarily banishing the worry which ate away at his peace and sanity like an ulcer. Hana’s God heard his anguished prayers the day she went missing and it confused Logan’s image of who he thought the Creator was. Unable to function in those hours without her, he watched as the police worked in slow motion setting up the tracker on Hana’s phone. Despite having her back he couldn’t eat or sleep, sensing how finite his happiness was, matched with his own powerlessness.
Logan waited for Hana’s breathing to slow as she slept on his chest. She gave a contented sigh and he reached backwards for his phone on the floor, sending a hurried text to Bodie. ‘Your mum’s not ready to come back. Tell him no!’
The next morning Hana let Leslie’s daughter change the dressing on her wrist. “You always seem to act as nurse around me,” Hana grumbled. “It would be nice just to have coffee and chat sometimes.”
Isla laughed. “Stop getting into trouble then. Mind you, having you around has made visits home more interesting. It’s not every day I get to treat women who’ve just birthed on a mountain.”
“I don’t do it on purpose,” Hana mused, swallowing and fixing her eyes on the view through the window instead of the wound scarring her flesh.
“You’ve been real good to my ma and I’m grateful,” Isla said, the relief evident in her face.
“Well, your mother’s been an absolute blessing,” Hana said. “I don’t know what I’d have done without her.”
“I was shocked at her standard of living, but she wouldn’t let me help. I wanted to buy new furniture, but she reckoned the debt collectors would take it next time they visited. All I could do was keep sending her money, but I figure they took that too.” Isla’s smile faded at the memory of her father’s pathetic legacy.
Hana’s stitches looked infected and Isla tutted in concern. “This isn’t good, Hana. You’ll to end up with real problems if you don’t get this sorted. Why don’t we drive down now and see Dr Seuli at the medical centre? I’ll come with you.”
Hana stubbornly refused. “I’ve had enough of being poked and prodded. I’m staying here.”
“Let’s try this for now, then.” Isla used the age-old remedy of Manuka honey, spreading it liberally over the stitches before bandaging it up. “I’ll come back tomorrow, Hana and before you protest, I don’t mind. But there’s only so much I can do. It needs properly flushing out and antibiotics.” She smiled sadly at Hana as she left. “Try not to get it wet and put more honey on it later.”
Logan watched Isla walk back to her mother’s motel unit and fretted. He was tense and unhappy, his worry increasing daily. He plucked up the courage to broach his concerns, beginning tentatively. “My mother wouldn’t leave here either,” he said and Hana went on the defensive.
“That’s not what’s wrong!” she protested. “I will go home with you, I promise. It’s just here...I feel more normal than I have for weeks. I need some space before I face everyone, Odering, Amanda...”
“Amanda?” Logan said surprised, “Why do you keep mentioning her?”
Hana explained and Logan fought an internal sickness at what his wife endured trying to protect him. As little details came to light, he continued to feel shaken and upset. “I didn’t know,” he whispered, resting his head in his hands. “It makes me angry what you went through. Geez Hana. Promise me there’s nothing else?”
“Laval said something about your sister,” Hana said, her voice low and tension ravaging her face.
Logan sighed. “Yeah, I guessed he would. I can’t reach her. She’s been presiding over a trial down in Wellington for the past three weeks and hasn’t responded to any of my messages. I sent her an email explaining what happened but I think she’s deliberately ignoring me.”
“You need to tell her it’s ok,” Hana said softly and Logan shook his head.
“I can’t lie to her, Hana.”
Needing to get out for a ride, Logan kissed his wife. “I promise I won’t be long,” he told her. Jack brought Sacha to the front of the hotel and Hana watched from the balcony as other horsemen joined him, heading for a muster in the hills to move stock nearer to the water sources under the scorching sun. Gravel spat from their hooves as the five mounts trotted from the driveway onto the grass, misbehaving by jumping the low stone wall delineating garden from paddock. A wedding party arrived to get changed before the main event and the bridesmaids watched, giggling and pointing as the strong, handsome stockmen captured their imaginations.
Phoenix slept soundly in her drawer and Hana carried it down the spiral staircase to the family room. She pushed a code into the keypad and shoved the door marked ‘Private,’ open with her hip. The room seemed soulless since Miriam’s death. Hana remembered cosy winter evenings with her mother-in-law knitting and Alfred winding her wool while something mindless played on the television. Hana ignored the ghosts and lay the baby on the coffee table. The sun streamed into the room through the French doors and Hana turned the key and pushed them open, letting warm fresh air stream into the room and blow away the spectres of doom. She settled in the worn red sofa to read her novel, sitting peacefully until she nodded off.
The sound of her book thumping onto the floor woke her up with a start and she wiped her hand across her face, feeling groggy. She refused to let Isla put the splint back on and her eyes were drawn to the awful mess seeping through the bandage. “Really attractive,” she commented to herself at the mixture of yellow honey and pale, diluted blood. The mixture coupled with the pain was sickening and Hana looked away.
A knock at the door distracted her and she rose to open it. Leslie stood outside wringing her hands. “Sorry to disturb you, but it’s the po-po, miss,” she said, using the slang phrase for the police.
A chill gripped Hana’s heart. “Logan?”
“No, miss, no!” Leslie cried, reaching for her, alarmed to feel Hana tremble under her hands. “No, they asked for you, miss. Mr Du Rose is fine, I just heard him on the radio; they’ve rounded up the stock and headed back.”
Hana put her hand to her mouth and Leslie saw the state of the bandage. She tried to lighten the mood. “Mr Tama fell off his horse. I could hear them all laughing.”
Hana tried to smile and regain control. She couldn’t think straight.
“Hi Mum,” came Bodie’s voice and Hana’s face flooded with relief. It was her son in his police uniform. He wasn’t wearing the stab vest but his blue shirt looked rumpled and sweaty. He was the police officer.
“It’s just Bo,” she said, her chest heaving. “Thank God!” She opened her mouth to introduce him to Leslie when she caught sight of another person standing behind him.
Odering pushed his way through the throng of bodies and offered his hand to Hana. “Hello again, Mrs Du Rose.”
Hana battled the overwhelming urge to slam the door in his smiling face. She looked at Bodie, his treachery reflected in her eyes. He’d brought Odering to her safe place. She felt betrayed and trapped, glaring at both men. She astounded her son by ignoring his superior’s hand, turning her back and returning to the room. Odering let his hand fall to his side without concern and Hana gritted her teeth.
“I’ll bring some afternoon tea,” Leslie said and the inflection in her voice made it into a question. Hana looked at her as though she’d asked in some alien tongue and didn’t answer. Her eyes appealed for help and as the door shut behind her, Leslie scuttled back to the kitchen to summon Logan on the radio.
Inside the family room, Hana walked stiffly to the chair nearest the doors, retrieving her novel from the floor. She fingered the elderly, hard backed cover in shaking fingers and defeated, sat down. Bodie peered into the drawer. “Hey sis,” he whispered, “what have they done to you? Fancy shoving you in a drawer.”
Phoenix slept deeply in her drawer and didn’t stir. Bodie smiled at Hana but found his joviality unreturned. He looked crestfallen. Hana was such a pushover before her marri
age to Logan and Bodie found the hidden steel in her blood hard to deal with. Odering hadn’t left him much choice but to bring him to the hotel and he hoped he could talk Hana round. Her expression said otherwise. Bodie slumped into a seat on the other side of the room, awkwardness surrounding him. If Detective Sergeant Odering waited to be offered a seat, he was sorely disappointed. Hana ignored him and eventually he picked the chair next to Bodie.
“Mrs Du Rose,” he began, “I understand this is hard for you. It’s not my intention to make matters worse, but I need to take a statement about the events a few days ago and I insist we do it now.”
“Better for who?” Hana asked, looking him in the eye for the first time. “I know, let’s play twenty questions? How satisfying would that be? And then I could treat your concerns like a joke too.” Her voice dripped pure acid and Bodie looked utterly stunned. His jaw dropped open with comical effect and a rational, sane part of Hana’s brain wanted to laugh out loud.
“I’m sorry about that...” Odering began and Hana held her hand up.
“Save it. You’re a bunch of amateur incompetents. I have no faith in you or the court system and I’ve decided not to waste my time. Please leave. Thank you for calling.” To the amazement of the two men, Hana opened her novel to the page most bent from its plunge south and began to read quietly to herself, dismissing them.
Bodie pinked with embarrassment. “Mum!” he said, shocked. “We’ve driven for two hours to see you. We’ve both got other places we could be right now. The least you could do is talk to us!”
Hana looked up with a horrible sneer on her face, jabbing her finger in Odering’s direction. “Did he tell you?” she asked. “Did he tell you exactly what he said when I went to see him? That was after the first time Laval threatened to hurt my husband. Did he tell you?”
Bodie shook his head and looked unnerved. He tried a different tack. “You probably misunderstood Mum; he put guys on you, watching you day and night. There was a whole team detailed to follow you.”
