by Jordan Ford
“I’m Reed.”
“Hi,” I squeak and run my fingers through the ends of my hair. I never know what to do with my hands in these situations.
Do I shake his?
Is that lame?
I don’t know what to do.
“What’s your name?” His smile is kind of lopsided, pulling up on the right side of his face. I gaze at his mouth and berate myself for being such a moron.
“My name? Oh, yeah, my name… Uh. I’m Let-Lettie. Lettie,” I repeat myself, cringing at how idiotic I sound. Why do people have to speak to each other? I wish we could just type our words instead of having to say them out loud. It’d make life so much easier. There’d be no stuttering or mispronunciations. You can delete text, craft it, make it say exactly what you want before hitting Send.
“Hey, Lettie.” He’s still smiling. “Are you new as well? I saw you in the library today and I was wondering.”
“Oh, no. I’ve been going to Walton since elementary. Are you…new?” I point at him.
“Yeah, just transferred here from”—he rolls his eyes—“the other side of the planet.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” I wince. “I know it’s hard being new.”
“That’s all right.” He shrugs. “I’m living with my cousins. It’s not so bad.”
“What about your parents?”
“Divorced,” he murmurs and looks to the ground. “Don’t really see my dad, and Mom’s…” He trails off, his nose wrinkling.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, that’s okay. I’m still adjusting. New husband and everything.”
Wow. He sounds like Bass. Poor rejected guy. I give him a sympathetic smile, which he seems to appreciate.
“Anyway, enough of my sob story. What’s yours? You looked kind of sad in the library today.”
“Oh, me?” I force a laugh. “I don’t have a sob story. I’m all good. Just…adjusting to high school.”
He gives me a look that tells me he sees right through my lie. I stare at the ground and hope I’m not blushing.
“Well, if you ever need a library buddy.” He points at himself, and I can’t help feeling warm on the inside.
That’s really sweet.
I find the courage to look up at him and test out a smile. His grin grows and so does mine, until my sister decides to ruin everything.
“Hey, Lettie.” She bounces up to me and gives Reed a curious glance. “Who’s this?”
“Um, this is…” I point at him. “This, uh, is Reed. He’s new.”
“Welcome to Walton.” She sticks out her hand, and he takes it.
“Thanks.”
“How old are you?”
Oh my gosh, she did not just ask that!
He snickers and grins between us. “Just starting junior year.”
“Cool.” Savannah nods. “Well, we might see you around.”
“Hopefully,” he murmurs, looking right at me.
It’s impossible to swallow, smile, blink, do anything other than stare at the pavement.
“See you ’round, Lettie.” He raises his hand in farewell and lopes away from the car.
I give him this lame kind of finger tinkle wave thing, then beg the pavement to open up and swallow me.
Savannah giggles. “He’s kind of cute.”
“Shut up,” I whisper and jump into the car as soon as Sav unlocks it.
She gets comfy in the driver seat and starts up the engine. I’m buckling up when she asks, “So how was your first day?”
Like I’m going to get into it with her.
I don’t think so.
She’ll just try and give me advice, tell me what to do, the whole time not even getting how I feel. She’s part of the popular crowd. She has no idea what it’s like to be friendless.
Instead, I settle for a shrug and noncommittal “Good.”
Then I play the only card I can. The best way to keep the heat off me is to ask her all about her day. So that’s what I do. I pepper her with questions about class, Aidan, Skylar, and school gossip until we reach our front door. It’s exhausting, but far better than having to dish out my nightmare day.
Savvy had a lot to say.
Poor Skylar’s taking some heat from the senior class over what she said about Officer Malloy. He was pretty popular with the students because he was a nice cop who knew when to look the other way. It looks like I’m not the only one set for a challenging year. At least Craig isn’t at Walton right now. That’ll be a relief. Apparently, he’s been sent to live with his mother for a while. I have no idea what she’s like, but from what Savvy just said, they weren’t close, and all Skylar can hope is that he doesn’t return to Ryder Bay any time soon. The guy will no doubt rain down some heavy vengeance for what she’s done.
Her saving grace is that she has a supertight group of friends and a really sweet boyfriend. They’ll all stand up for her and protect her. That’s got to make life easier, right?
As I drop my bag onto my bedroom floor, a sad loneliness swamps me.
Who will stand up and protect me?
I wish Mom were here.
If she were, I’d rush into her arms. She’d hold me tight and rub my back while I cried on her shoulder about Johanna. She wouldn’t try to fix it. She’d just listen and understand.
I don’t have anyone else in my life like that.
“Yes you do,” I softly snap. “You have Bass.”
Pulling out my laptop, I open up my email and see nothing from him.
Never mind. I can still vent all my angst in an email. He’ll read it. He’ll understand, and then he’ll reply and make it all better.
Sender: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: First days suck
____________________
Hey Bass,
Well, I’m home. FINALLY.
Today was the worst.
I sure hope your first day was better than mine.
My best friend.
Cancel that.
My ex-best-friend decided I’m too boring, so she doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore. She completely shunned me in front of her new friends.
It was such a nightmare.
I mean, I know it’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through or are going through, but it hurts so much. She just ditched me, and I didn’t even see it coming.
The only small mercy was that I met this guy in the library today.
…
I stop typing, an idea hitting me so hard my breath actually catches.
Reed.
Transferred.
Living with cousins.
Parents divorced.
Mother remarried.
What if…?
No way. It can’t be.
Life does not dish out goodies like that.
Reed and Bass are not the same. Bass wouldn’t go to a school library.
Although, Reed was holding a copy of Six of Crows, which I did recommend to Bass.
But no.
It can’t be him. I mean, they can’t be the same person.
But oh man. I sink back into my chair with a wistful sigh. “What if they were?” I whisper.
I let the idea dance through my head. How amazing would that be?
Images of Reed’s smile make my heart tickle, and then I imagine him brushing his fingers down my cheek. Sitting in the library with me, making me laugh, listening to my problems and not judging me for any of them.
Jerking up straight in my seat, I snap the daydream away with a blink of my eyes.
That’s all it is.
A daydream.
Besides, I don’t want to meet Bass face-to-face. It’ll change everything between us. I can’t talk about my problems. I can barely string a sentence together. I’m Let-Lettie. Lettie. I’m black words on a white screen. I can’t be anything more than that.
Even if Reed is Bass, I don’t want him to know who I am.
It’ll only disappoint him.
Looking back at my computer screen, I delete the part about the library.
I then delete the stuff about my best friend as well and instead make the email all about him. I ask him about his day and make sure he’s doing all right. I sure hope his first day was better than mine.
7
Snappy Lectures and Email Balm
JACE
As I lope out of detention, I find Marshall waiting for me outside of school.
Great. This is like the rotten cherry on top of my curdled sundae.
He’s leaning against his truck, looking pretty damn pissed.
I really don’t want to talk to him and decide I’ll stick with minimal grunts. The less communication, the better. I’ve just spent the last hour writing an essay on how I should have spent my first day. I scrawled line after line of bullshit to appease the principal and hopefully get him off my back.
“Get in.” Marshall tips his head at the truck, and I walk around to the passenger side.
I’m determined not to say anything, and I can be pretty damn stubborn when I want to be.
Marshall doesn’t seem to notice. As we drive back to his place, he lays it on nice and thick. “You know Denee didn’t have to say yes to having you with us, but we talked about it and really wanted to help you. To help your mom. But you need to want to help yourself too! We can’t do it all for you!”
I clench my jaw and look out the window.
“Drugs? I mean, seriously, kid!”
Working my jaw to the side, I resist the urge to tell him that I didn’t actually have one puff from that stupid vape pen, but I’m guessing that won’t matter. I was caught with it, and if the principal hadn’t come along, I would have breathed nice and deep.
“I’m not happy with you hanging out with people who are gonna encourage you to make stupid decisions. There are some great kids at that school. Some of Griffin’s friends go there. You should find them and hang out. Harley’s a surfer. You could hit the waves with her. Do something healthy and productive with your time.”
He keeps talking and I tune out his speech, focusing on the houses flashing by.
When we get home, I head straight for my room. Denee tries to smile at me and play nice, but I just tell her I’m going to get my homework done before dinner.
It’s an escape lie, and I’m pretty sure she knows it, but she just keeps smiling and says, “No problem.”
As soon as the door is closed behind me, I open up my computer and find instant comfort when it dings with new mail.
“Snap,” I whisper her name as I open up her message.
Reading it is an instant balm, but also distressing. She’s had a sucky day at school too. She doesn’t go into the details of why, but I desperately want to make it better for her.
Sender: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: First days suck
____________________
I’m so sorry your first day was a bust.
What happened?
Mine was pretty bad too.
I ended up in the principal’s office and then had detention after school.
I’m guessing you didn’t do anything stupid like me, but I’d love some deets.
I hate the idea of you being sad, so I’m sending you a cyber hug, and I’ll do my best to make your day end with a smile.
Are you ready?
This is gonna make you smile.
I promise.
Here goes…
What are you reading right now?
Tell me all about the book.
xx
B
I click Send and sit back with a grin. She’s gonna love it.
And I can’t wait for her reply.
8
Sweet Haven
LETTIE
I cover my yawn with my hand and slump down farther in my seat.
I stayed up way too late last night emailing Bass.
We talked about my current read (This is Our Story by Ashley Elston). I would have finished it last night, but I got caught up chatting with Bass about murder mysteries and cop shows, and then we took a major detour into Brooklyn Nine Nine for a while. I’ve only seen the first season, but he’s mowed through them all, and now I want to binge on the entire series.
Anyway, it kept me up way too late, and now I’m struggling to keep my eyes open in World History.
“So, now that you know what I expect from you this year, let’s get straight into looking at the six periods of world history and their defining characteristics.”
I blink and sit up straighter. That actually sounds kind of interesting.
Fidgeting with my pen, I try to focus on what the teacher is saying, but my tired brain inevitably wanders to Bass and his sweet cyber hug and distraction technique. I seriously would be lost without him. It made returning to school today possible. The idea that I can go home and hang out online with him makes anything possible. He’s right here. In my heart. He’s a promise at the end of my day.
The bell rings, jolting me in my seat.
I hear a couple of snickers behind me and I try to ignore them, my face burning as I stand up and then gracefully trip on my way out the door. My black shoes squeak, but thankfully the doorframe catches me. With a little wince, I ignore the pain in my shoulder and hustle down the hallway. It’s lunchtime, and I’m escaping to the library.
All is quiet when I reach my haven.
We’re not supposed to have food in the library, but I’ve smuggled in a sandwich. No one will be able to hear my munching on the soft bread, and I’m planning on hiding out in the fantasy section again. I know the exact couch I want to sit on.
Weaving down the first aisle, I pop into the reading area and stop short when I see that someone with black hair has already taken over my space.
But then he looks up.
He smiles.
And I smile right back.
Reed.
Nerves flutter in my belly as I inch around the furniture and stand beside him.
“Hey. I was hoping you’d come.” He holds up a plastic container. “I brought muffins.”
I can’t help a grin. “What kind?”
“Blueberry.”
“The best.”
“Right?” He points at the couch. “Take a seat.”
With a nervous swallow, I perch in the space beside him and don’t say anything as he extracts a huge muffin from the container.
“Thank you.” I nibble the edge and don’t know what else to say, so we sit there in silence for a minute or two, until he starts talking about how boring his physics teacher is. I giggle at his description, and then he manages to draw out information about my morning. We talk about school mostly, and it’s a nice distraction.
“Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?” He grins.
I shrug. “Not sure yet. Maybe a librarian or an English teacher. I’m not sure. What about you?”
“Well, my dad would probably love for me to get into business, but…” A dark look flashes across his face.
I tip my head to the side. “But what?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t always hold my dad’s opinion in very high…esteem. He’s not really a part of my life. I don’t think he should get a say.”
“Do you never see him?”
“Sometimes, but he lives overseas, so not very often.”
He lives overseas?
My breath hitches.
Bass’s dad lives overseas. I don’t know where, because that detail is just a little too personal, and I’m not about to ask Reed now either.
My heart beats out of time as I toy with my theory again.
Bass is Reed.
Reed is Bass.
No! Stop that, Lettie.
It’s not true. Or possible.
You don’t even want it to be. It’ll ruin everything if it is.
He’s your only friend at Walton right now. You need to
protect that.
I press my lips together and force a smile.
“So, what about your dad? What’s he like?” Reed’s expression is so sweet that I can’t help stumbling through an answer about how my dad is a doctor and probably the sweetest man I know.
“You’re lucky,” Reed murmurs, his dark eyes warm with a smile.
And I can’t help thinking that this guy is pretty sweet too.
9
An Annoying Little Blondie
JACE
I rest my head against the window as Marshall drives me to school.
I offered to skate, but he wanted to make sure I actually got there. That kind of pissed me off. So I screw up once on the first day and suddenly I’m going to play hooky?
I won’t admit that the thought crossed my mind, but it was only a flash. More than anything, I just want to spend the day in bed sleeping…or emailing Snap.
A smile curves my lips as I remember some of our conversation last night. She’s freaking adorable. I bet she has an adorable face as well. I must start sketching her again, trying to figure out what she looks like. There’s bound to be some boring-ass class today that I can draw in. But do I want to risk getting caught?
Snap Dragon is my sacred secret. I don’t even understand why I feel so strongly about that, but I want to protect what we have. It’s the only good thing in my life right now.
“Here we go.” Marshall brakes outside the school in the exact same place Griffin did yesterday. And lingering on the path is that blonde chick again. She waves at Marshall, and I instantly know it’s a setup.
