by Jordan Ford
I couldn’t email Bass yesterday because my insides were stormy with confusion.
I’m still a little confused.
Jace apologizing for that kiss was nice and everything, but it also made me sad. It made me feel like he never wanted to kiss me.
At least he said the kiss was great.
Which it was.
But Jace is right.
I should email Bass. Tell him I miss him.
If he doesn’t respond or we can’t get our mojo back, then maybe it’s time to let this email thing go. Maybe it’s time to move on to real people.
Jace flitters through my mind, but I push him aside. His apology made it clear that our kiss was a onetime thing and he’s not interested in turning it into anything more.
Bass. I have to make things right with Bass. He’s my man, and I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to let this email thing go.
Opening a new message, I let my fingers do the thinking for me…
Sender: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: I miss you
____________________
Dear Bass,
Sorry I’ve been so slow to write to you lately. I don’t know what’s been up with us, but it’s like we’ve forgotten how to talk. I don’t know why, but someone reminded me today how precious you are to me.
I didn’t exactly tell him about us, but I have kind of mentioned that I have a guy in my life who I really like and care about.
He encouraged me to talk to you and tell you how much I miss you.
Because I do miss you.
I miss our random chats about TV and ice cream sundaes. I miss your complaints about schoolwork.
I want to hear about whatever reckless thing you’ve gotten up to lately.
I want to know all about your bedroom and what it looks like.
Bring me into your new world, Bass. I want to be a part of it.
I want to know what your cousins are like.
Tell me about your new friends. Describe them to me. No names, but personalities. Who are these people who are making life a little easier for you?
I don’t have too much to report.
I spent all day in my room yesterday, trying to read and distract myself, when I should have been emailing you.
I’m sorry.
What can I tell you that’s new.
Oh! You’ll love this.
I went on a skateboard for the first time on Friday.
I know, right?
I actually managed to ride unaided for a little bit.
It was pretty epic.
…
I swallow, deciding to avoid what else happened on Friday afternoon. I don’t want to hurt Bass’s feelings.
I squirm in my seat, trying to avoid the disappointment that keeps niggling me.
It’s fine!
I shouldn’t be kissing Jace anyway.
I have Bass.
“Bass,” I whisper, forcing myself back to the email.
…
Um… what else? Oh, I managed to fix Mom’s camera.
I don’t think I told you about it breaking. Well, not breaking it, but getting sand in it. I had a bad experience last time I was snapping pics. I kind of got teased by some people from school, and when I went to run away, I tripped on the beach and landed right on it. It was so humiliating, and I was freaking out that I’d ruined it for good.
But thankfully it’s still working.
It took three different tutorial videos, but I managed to take it apart, clean out all the sand and reassemble it.
I need to get out and take some more photos again.
I should have told you about it, but… I don’t know.
I’ll stop hiding now. I promise.
I’m ready to let you back into everything.
I want to go back to the way we were before.
Do you want that too?
No pressure, I mean, if you’re over this whole emailing thing. If your new life doesn’t have room for me anymore, but… Please say it does.
I should go before I start seriously waffling or begging or sounding like an idiot.
I still love you, Bass.
Always and forever.
xx
S
33
It Can’t Be True…Or Can It?
JACE
Griffin wanted to spend the entire day hanging out with his friends at Savvy’s house, but after talking to Lettie, I just couldn’t get into it.
I played a few rounds of poker with everyone.
It was kind of fun. Jed is freaking good. His pile of jelly beans was pretty big by the time I left. Skylar kept stealing them, much to Jed’s angst and her delight. I don’t think Jed was really mad. He’d do this little growl and murmur, “Watch it, butterfly.” Whatever that means.
Whenever he said it, she’d give him gooey eyes and lean over to kiss him.
And that’s probably what made me give up after round five.
I was surrounded by couples who are all obviously in love. That’s great for them, but all I could think about was Lettie alone upstairs. I kept listening to see if she would leave to go and talk to this guy, but maybe she isn’t going to take my advice.
Whatever.
It can’t be my problem.
Lettie is better off if I just stay out of the way and she can reconnect with her man in her own sweet time.
Leaning into the corner, I skate back to Denee’s place, trying to figure out what I’ll do with the rest of my day. I could go surfing, but doing it alone is never as fun. It’ll just make me miss Vic, and Isaac…and Hayes.
With a heavy sigh, I turn onto my street and push off the concrete to build some more speed.
Denee’s home, puttering in her veggie garden.
She has buds in her ears and is humming away, so I decide not to disturb her.
Leaning my skateboard against my bedroom wall, I glance at my laptop and figure I should probably email Snap. I’ve let enough time pass, and I do want to reconnect with her again.
She’s good.
She’s constant.
And I miss her.
Plunking down in my chair, I pull it a little closer to my desk and am happy to see an email from her when I wake up my screen.
“I miss you.” I murmur the words with a smile that quickly fades.
Because a thought hits me.
Just the tiniest tickle, but it blooms throughout my body as I read her email.
“No way.” I lean back in my chair, my vision blurring. “What?”
I blink and reread the email again, my pulse pounding in my head.
It can’t be.
Snap Dragon is Lettie?
She doesn’t say it in her email, but there’s just so much coincidence here.
She’s emailing me right after I spoke to Lettie telling her to reconnect with this guy she likes. I check the time stamp on the email to confirm. Plus, she said she skated for the first time on Friday. That was with me. She skated with me. Plus, that day on the beach when she got teased. She told me about that.
And I’m the guy who told her to tell him that she missed me.
It’s me!
I’m Bass.
And she’s Snap.
“Holy shit,” I whisper, not knowing what to do with this revelation.
A huge part of me is dancing. Lettie is Snap.
It feels so incredibly right, and I’m an idiot for not figuring it out sooner.
A bookworm whose mother died.
A bookworm who wriggled her way into my heart without even trying.
How could I have been so blind?
Breaths punch out of me as I wipe a hand over my mouth and let the news really sink in.
Lettie is Snap Dragon.
A smile tugs at my lips. Now I know what she looks like. How old she is. How perfect she is.
I close my eyes, wincing at the downside of this revelation.
She doesn’t know
who I am yet. At least I don’t think she does.
And maybe that’s a good thing.
As much as I’d love to tell her, I can’t.
Snap’s made it clear she doesn’t want to meet, and when she finds out it’s me… well, she’ll probably be disappointed.
She deserves better than me.
She…
I let out a long, slow sigh, lightly tapping my fingers on the keyboard and wondering how to reply.
There is a small chance I could be wrong.
There are a lot of people in this world, and there is bound to be another girl out there who lives by the beach and tried skateboarding for the first time on Friday.
I need to know for sure.
And then I can decide what the hell I’m going to do.
Leaning forward in my chair, I start typing back. As per her request, I let her into my world but am careful not to say anything that will give me away. She’s a smart chick, and I have to rewrite the email like five times before I’m confident there’s nothing too Jace-y about it.
And then it’s my turn to ask some questions…
…
So, that’s me.
How about you?
I know school started out pretty rough, but is it getting any better?
Have you found anyone to hang out with at lunchtime?
I’m glad you managed to fix your camera. That must have freaked you out. I know how important your mom is to you. I bet she’s really proud of you for fixing it.
Hey, you know how the numbers in your email address spell out her name? What is her name? I can’t work out the code.
At least give me a hint so I can try to solve the puzzle.
Knowing your mom’s name should be safe enough, right?
It won’t give away your identity ;)
Hey, thanks so much for reaching out. I’m sorry I haven’t been around, but I’m here now. And I’m not planning on going anywhere. There will always be room for you in my life. So keep talking to me.
Tell me about life in your house.
As much or as little as you want to.
Tell me what book you’re reading. Have you fallen in love with any characters lately?
How’s your dad doing?
…
That is probably enough questions for now. I don’t want to put her off.
I make a mental note to find out Lettie’s mother’s name.
I know she’s kind of hanging out with that Reed dude at school.
Shit. I wonder if that’s the guy she’s trying to reconnect with.
No wait.
That’s me!
The thought pulls this choked kind of laughter out of me. It’s a giddy, elated sound that I quickly have to cut off.
“It might not be her, man. Just chill.”
And even if it is her, what am I supposed to do about it?
I tug my shorts down, shuffling in my seat as I try to figure out how to sign off.
She wrote ‘I love you.’
Do I do the same?
Before I knew it could be Lettie, I would have done exactly the same.
But now…
Do I love Lettie? That feels huge. Too real, somehow.
I can’t get ahead of myself. I need one hundred percent proof before I torture myself with the reality of knowing exactly who Snap Dragon is.
Rolling my shoulders, I whisper out loud as I reread my final paragraph.
I’ve been at this email for nearly an hour. All the edits and changes have taken me way too long. But my words have to be right. Perfect.
Clearing my throat, I poise my fingers on the keys and hope like hell that she responds today. There’s no way she would have finished that fat novel, and if she can tell me the title, then I’ll know for sure.
I’ll know without a doubt that Lettie is my Snap Dragon.
34
A Rescue from the Rain
LETTIE
Bass and I seem to be back on track, which makes me feel really good.
He keeps asking me a bunch of questions about myself, but I feel like he’s trying to make a real effort after having our little patch of distance.
I kinda like it.
He’s being open with me about himself and it makes it easier to give him a little more of me.
He worked out the code and now knows my mom’s name.
Wendy.
If I ever have a daughter, I’m totally calling her that.
I looked it up and the name means “white, fair and blessed.” But the coolest thing is that the Urban Dictionary says the word means “the most beautiful girl on the planet, both inside and out.”
That was my mom.
I’m kinda glad Bass knows now.
We’ve talked about her a lot this week. It’s made me miss her, but has also brought her memories that much closer. I can hear her laughter in my head again. Sharing her with Bass is something special.
I wonder if I should meet him one day.
I immediately shake my head at the idea.
I can’t.
We’re better with words on a screen.
I’m better with words on a screen.
The way I stumbled through every conversation with Jace just proves that I’m not good face-to-face.
But does that mean I’m destined to love a computer for the rest of my life?
To never experience a toe-curling kiss again?
I trace patterns in the sand with my shoe as I wait for Savvy to finish talking to Griffin. He had some big exam today, and apparently asking him how it went can’t be done over the phone, so after dropping off her car at the garage for a tune-up, she decided we could walk home via the beach rather than calling an Uber.
Thanks a lot, sis.
I shove my hands in my blazer pockets while she takes for-freaking-ever to dissect the exam with Griffin. Gazing out at the water, I spot a group of surfers. Axel, I think his name is, stands on his board and shoots through the water like a dark torpedo.
Harley and Aidan will no doubt be out there soon. Although it’s kind of overcast today, the waves are pumping. It looks like a good day for “carving it up,” as they say.
Without meaning to, I scan the water for Jace, but don’t see him.
As much as Bass’s emails have distracted me, I can’t quite lose the kiss. The sensation of Jace’s lips on mine pierces me at the oddest moments.
It happened when I was hanging with Reed at lunch today, and he got this funny smile on his face and asked me why I was blushing.
I managed to hedge and distract him with the book I’m currently reading. He got really interested in it, and we spent the rest of the lunch break trying to predict what’s going to happen next.
That’s what I should do.
Go home and read.
I’ll email Bass, then curl up with my book. I’m up to date on homework, so I can have the night off. I need to fly away into another world and forget about how confusing this one is. I also need to take another batch of photos for my Instagram account. Maybe I should spend some time snapping pics tonight as well. I’ve set aside a stack of books with covers to die for.
“Okay, babe. I’ll catch you after school tomorrow.” Griffin’s voice distracts me, and I look up in time to see him pull Savvy against his chest, lifting her off her feet and making her laugh into his mouth.
I want that.
The idea rushes through me so fast and strong, I can’t breathe for a second.
Savannah whispers something to him before kissing him one last time and turning to face me with a dreamy grin.
I snicker and shake my head, spinning to walk up the beach before she can go on about how amazing Griffin is.
It doesn’t work.
She starts talking about him the second we hit the stairs, and she doesn’t shut up about how proud she is until the first drops of rain start to fall.
“Oh, great,” she murmurs, looking up to the sky.
I glance up as well, getting splashed in the eye, th
en wrinkling my nose as the sudden rain shower turns into a full dumpage. The clouds didn’t look that gray before.
“Uber?” I turn to Sav, but she shakes her head.
“I’ll try Sky. She’s closer.”
Pulling the wing of her blazer out, she tries to protect her phone while we stand on the street getting thoroughly saturated.
“You girls need a ride?” someone shouts to us.
I spin around and squint through the car window, my heart flipping over when I spot Jace behind the wheel.
Before thought can even register, I shout out an elated “Yes, please!” and rush toward his car.
35
Consequences
JACE
Snap Dragon is sitting right beside me, her skin glistening with water, her smile bright and beautiful.
It’s hard to think straight when she’s so close, but the second I saw her standing in the rain, I had to pull over.
I’m actually supposed to be getting groceries for Denee.
But groceries can wait.
I’m with Lettie. Snap.
She’s real.
I haven’t actually heard her voice since figuring it out, and I’m suddenly nervous that I’m going to say the wrong thing and give myself away.
I just want to hear her speak, to confirm in my heart what I already know.
“Thank you so much.” She smiles, wiping raindrops off her nose, and I know.
Every email I’ve read from Snap this week has been in Lettie’s voice, and even those four little words tell me how much she means to me.
