by C. A. Harms
I looked over at Josh in alarm, and it was as if he was somewhere else, focused on his phone, as if the doctor was not even speaking.
“Are things okay?” the doctor asked, and in that moment I just snapped.
“No,” I said sharply. “Things are not okay. I have some crazy fuck out there somewhere in the city threatening my life and those I love.” I looked over at Josh, and he was now looking at the doctor and me with a concerned expression. “I have a fiancé who is acting more like a god-damn stranger than the man I fell in love with. I can’t eat because I feel sick every time I do. I can’t sleep because I keep thinking someone is in my room who shouldn’t be, and I feel like at any moment I am going to lose my fucking mind.”
I felt as if I had gone certifiably insane. My mind was spinning, my head ached at an unbelievably intense level, and my stomach felt nauseated.
I zoned out as Josh began to sum up the events of our last few days. I hung my head as I focused on my breathing. I knew this panic attack was not good for me or the baby. But the more I tried to control it, the worse it seemed to get.
I jumped in surprise when Josh placed his hand on my back.
“Gabby, I need you to breathe,” he directed me. “Just calm, deep breaths.”
Once I was calm enough, the doctor approached and asked me to lay back.
“I’m just gonna take a look at everything and then we’ll go from there. Okay?” he asked, and I nodded in agreement.
Closing my eyes, I focused on the sound of movement in the room. Clearing my mind of all the shit from only moments ago, I had a feeling my doctor already thought I should be wearing a straightjacket.
“This is going to be warm against your abdomen,” Dr. Bali said just before he squeezed the tube of gel and a small portion accumulated just below my belly button.
I watched his every movement as he lifted the wand and placed it against my belly. Moving it around slowly at first to coat the tip, he began to search out the sound I realized I needed to hear more than anything else.
A gentle swoosh swoosh filled the room and I couldn’t control the smile that pulled at my lips. Our little man’s heartbeat was like a calming melody to my racing heart.
I imagined my doctor was thinking, “This chick is crazy,” but when I turned to look up at him, he too was smiling.
“Everything’s fine, sweetheart,” he assured me, and tears sprung to my eyes. “Just focus on that sound.” I nodded my head as he continued to check everything over with the baby.
I did as he suggested. The continued swoosh, mixed with the way Josh was lightly rubbing my arm, began to relax me almost to the point of falling asleep.
“This little guy is perfect,” the doctor said, “measuring right around your thirty-one week mark. He’s active, but I’m sure you know that by now.”
Dr. Bali was doing all he could to distract me.
He handed me a paper towel as he stepped back and placed the wand in the holder. “Get cleaned up and dressed. I’ll be back in a few minutes to talk to you a little more.”
“Okay,” I said in response.
“Mr. Phoenix,” Dr. Bali said, getting both Josh’s and my attention, “if I could have a word with you in the next room.”
I looked over at Josh, but he was focused on the doctor instead. “Of course,” he replied, just before turning toward me to place a kiss against my forehead.
“I’ll be right back.”
I watched as the two of them stepped out of the room, closing the door behind them. I was left with one of those “What the fuck?” moments.
I had just been removed out of the equation as my doctor and fiancé discussed my health. Or maybe he was telling Josh that he recommended I be evaluated. It wouldn’t surprise me at this point if men in white lab coats showed up to haul me away to a padded room.
I was beginning to question myself and my ability to hold it all together.
Chapter 12
Josh
“Have a seat, Mr. Phoenix.” Dr. Bali directed me to the empty chair on the opposite side of his desk.
I could sense his concern, and, frankly, I was floored with what had just happened.
Gabby has obviously been hiding her concerns and fear, not to mention her irritation with me. I hadn’t realized how distracted I’d been, but since she pointed things out, I couldn’t argue the fact. My mind was focused on one thing…Leo.
I hadn’t stopped long enough to consider what Gabby was feeling. Once again I had failed at keeping her safe and it was fucking with my head.
“I’m not going to sit here and tell you I’m not concerned, because I am. In fact, I’m considering admitting her overnight for observation.” A panic rushed through me. “Her blood pressure is dangerously high, and the swelling in her feet has only advanced more than it was a few days ago.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat as my chest burned with each breath I took. “What do you feel is best?” I asked.
“She may not like it, but I feel that it would be best. Her stress levels are something of extreme concern, Mr. Phoenix.”
“Josh,” I said. “Call me Josh.”
He nodded in agreement. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, indicating a new incoming message. But at this moment I couldn’t bring myself to care. All my worries were on the woman in the next room.
“I know that you have a very demanding job, one that is stressful and at times dangerous, but Gabriella’s well-being as well as the health of your child are my concern.” He paused, and I looked up to meet his penetrating stare. “Josh, I’m worried that if things continue the way they are, Gabby won’t make it to her due date.”
***
I entered the hospital room with a coffee in one hand and a chocolate milk in the other. Gabby didn’t even look in my direction; she only continued to stare out of the window on the opposite side of her bed.
“I brought you milk,” I said as I sat both items on the table at the side of her bed. “Chocolate milk,” I corrected, and it was then that she turned to face me.
She looked exhausted.
“I’m a mess,” she whispered, her hands fisted in her lap as she twisted them tightly.
I took a seat next to her and reached out, taking her hands in mine.
“You have other things to worry about. You shouldn’t be stuck here worrying about me,” she insisted. “I called my parents and they’re on their way.”
I tried not to show her that the knowledge of her parents’ arrival affected me the way it did, but it was pointless. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.
“I’m not leaving,” I stated. “There’s no way.”
“Josh,” she began, but I slid closer to her and she locked her eyes on mine.
“None of this is fair, sweetheart,” I told her. “You worry about me, I worry about you, and in the end you wind up here. You should be home feeling relaxed and safe, but this fuck has taken that from us, and I’ve been consumed with stopping him.”
I reached out and took her face in my hands.
“Baby, I can’t say that I won’t go back to that place, because until Leo is where he deserves to be, I won’t let go.” Leaning in, I rested my forehead to hers. “But right now, I’m where I need to be, and nothing or no one will make me leave.”
I felt her body relax, and I pulled back to look into her eyes.
“I love you, Gabby, and we’ll get through this. All three of us.” I wouldn’t allow my statement not to be true.
I called Gray after the doctor decided to admit Gabby at least overnight. I caved for a moment and let him know just how much all of this had played on not only me but Gabby.
I just needed tonight to spend with my fiancée and make sure that both her and my son were safe. After that I would find a way to keep her safe. Even if it meant passing her over to her father, I’d do it.
Marshall Shannon was a control freak. He was demanding and straightforward. But if there was anyone who could keep her and my child saf
e in my absence, it was him.
Something told me he would sleep at the foot of her bed if he had to.
I swear the man slept with one eye open and a gun cocked and ready at all times.
The creaking of the door had both Gabby and me turning in its direction.
Speaking of Marshall, there he stood with a stern look on his face. At his side was Judith, and she looked almost as dedicated as her husband.
“Sweetheart,” she said as she stepped into the room and walked to the opposite side of the bed. “Look at you,” she fussed as she brushed Gabby’s hair from the side of her face.
If I hadn’t felt like I failed ten minutes ago, I sure did now. But I had to swallow my pride, because these two may be taking their daughter home with them tomorrow. Going off on them or pissing off Marshall would only ensure more stress on Gabby. So I would let go of my ego and face the fact that right now, I couldn’t put Gabby first.
And that fucking sucked.
Chapter 13
Gabby
I woke up multiple times through the night. Each time, I found Josh at my bedside, watching me sleep.
He looked sad, and it broke my heart.
“Don’t frown,” I told him as I reached out and wrapped my hand around his. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“I know you will,” he replied. Leaning forward, he placed his elbows on the side of my bed and looked down at our hands. “I talked to your dad and made sure of that.”
He wouldn’t look at me.
His words didn’t sit well with me.
What did he mean he talked to my dad?
“What did you two have to talk about?” I asked.
Josh continued to toy with my hand before lifting it to his mouth and placing a soft kiss against my knuckles.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I could see it written all over his face.
“I know you’re gonna be upset with me, but just let me explain.” It was then that he looked up at me and I nodded, indicating I would give him that.
“The stress of everything is just too much. If you’re at the apartment you hear about it, you think about it, and now with Leo getting inside so easily, I can’t keep your safe.” That confession was not an easy one for him, I could sense it.
“But you can,” I tried to convince him, but he immediately began shaking his head.
“Baby, I can’t,” he replied. “But your dad can be with you all the time. His place is locked down like Fort Knox, and he hovers.” Josh chuckled, trying to make light of the situation we now found ourselves in. “He won’t give you time to stress over all this. I won’t worry so much either, and I’ll focus on the task at hand.”
I wanted to argue.
I wanted to ask him why he felt the need to pawn me off on my parents, but instead I only agreed.
The time away may be the best choice for now.
***
“You get settled?” Josh asked as I held the phone to my ear, looking around my old bedroom that had been converted into what my parents felt would be the best distraction.
“If by settled you mean Marshall and Judith Shannon have entered into the Realm of Extreme Distraction, then yep, I’m settled.” I sat down on the end of the bed and picked up the box resting against the side.
A baby blanket kit.
I rolled my eyes and let out a deep breath.
“It would appear that I will be making our son his very own racecar quilt and…” I looked beside the bed to find three other kits for multiple baby items, “oh, and a diaper bag to match.”
Josh chuckled, and I couldn’t help but smile at the sound. We hadn’t done much of that over the last few days. I missed it so badly.
“Brook and Audrey will be there later tonight,” he assured me. “It would seem Gray loved the idea of Marshall standing guard and gave Brooklynn no choice but to gather her things and join you. Apparently Mike agreed and spent a few hours fighting it out with Audrey until she gave in too.”
“Have you talked to Mike?” I asked.
I already knew the answer but I hoped I was wrong.
“Haven’t had much time,” he replied.
“You need to forgive him, Josh.” Their fallout still lay heavy on my mind. “He would never intentionally put me or my sisters in harm’s way. You know that. He made a mistake.”
“A mistake that could have cost your life and our son’s life.” Josh’s tone had gone from the earlier relaxed tone to one laced with irritation. “That’s unforgiveable, Gabby. I can’t fucking brush that off as some mistake.”
“Audrey said he’s having a hard time with it all too,” I told him.
“Good,” he said. He acted so cold and uncaring.
“Don’t be an ass, Josh. Please just talk to him.” I tried to get through to him but feared this topic would be one I couldn’t break through. “Don’t let this end a friendship. He’s one of your best friends, and one day may be a brother-in-law.”
“Hmm,” was the only response he offered.
“Please.” I pushed one last time.
“I’ll think about it,” he replied, and I chose to let it go.
Josh had become a ticking time bomb over the last few days and it worried me. It wasn’t like him. He was always so sweet and kind, full of orneriness.
It was just one more thing Leo had taken from our lives.
I hated that he was winning, and I feared it was only a matter of time before the man I loved fell even further.
Chapter 14
Leo
I wound her hair around my hand and yanked her head back hard, causing her to yelp.
“It would seem Gabby has been relocated,” I whispered against her ear. “And it would appear you have a job to do.”
She did not respond, so I tugged harder, once again making her cry out. “Whatever you need, Leo, please,” she begged.
I loosened my hold and turned her around to face me.
She looked at me with fear in her eyes. I grew hard at the sight. I loved instilling fear in everyone around me. I thrived on the power of it.
“That’s right, beg me,” I insisted as tears pooled in her eyes.
“I’ll find her,” she assured me.
I allowed my hand to roam over her shoulder, along her back, and over her ass as I cupped it tightly.
She wasn’t what I wanted, but she’d have to do.
“I’ll call her, she’ll answer,” she assured me. “She trusts me.”
I never responded, only continued my path along her hip until I reached the hem of her dress.
She gasped when I reached beneath it and cupped her pussy.
She could pretend to be offended, but I knew she loved the rough stuff. She had already proven that to me time and time again.
I turned her around once more, shoving her forward as she bent over the arm of the couch. I didn’t even take the time to remove her panties, only pulled them aside, exposing her moist center.
Wasting no further time, I unfastened my buckle and pulled myself free, slamming inside of her without warning.
I took from her what I needed, not caring if she got anything in return. This was about me, always about me.
Once I had finished with her I stepped back and began to right my clothing.
“You have forty-eight hours to locate Gabriella,” I told her. She never even rose from her current position. She feared me.
A triumphant feeling filled me.
“If you don’t deliver, you’ll regret it with every breath you take. Your life will take a drastic turn for the worse, and people you care about will pay the price for your failure.” She shook her head, still facing forward.
“I know you don’t want that, darling, so I suggest you deliver Ms. Shannon’s whereabouts in a timely fashion.”
I turned away from my toy and left her behind as I exited her apartment and made my way to the stairway.
I knew without a doubt she would deliver. She had kept me informed of Gabriella’s whereabouts for
months now. She was my inside eyes and ears.
She had no choice.
Oh, the power—it felt fucking amazing.
Chapter 15
Josh
I had been at the office for going on twenty-four hours, surviving only on coffee and the stale muffins that had been sitting in a container in the breakroom for who knew how long.
I was so consumed in the stilled shot of the woman working for Leo that I hadn’t noticed the sun had risen and agents had begun to arrive.
The conference room had become my hub. It was roomy and had all I needed to continue my search.
“Damn, Josh, it looks like something blew up in here.” I looked up to find Grayson standing in the doorway, with Mike only a few feet behind.
Our eyes locked on one another for only a brief moment before I quickly looked away.
Remembering suddenly what Gabby had said only a day ago regarding Mike and my friendship, I just wasn’t sure I was ready for that talk after a night of no sleep.
I just couldn’t let go of the fact he let his guard down and opened up the possibility of Gabby being hurt, or worse.
“Are you two ever gonna let this shit go?” Gray was the one to bring attention to the tension between Mike and me. “This is bullshit. So he fucked up, we all have a time or two. But we are brothers here, and that trumps this girly shit the two of you can’t get over.”
Grayson continued to mumble something about working with a bunch of bitching, dramatic over-the-top women instead of men as he turned around and walked away.
Mike hung his head for a moment before he too turned around and walked in the opposite direction. And for a moment I thought of hollering his name, halting him, but then stopped myself.
Maybe Gray was right. Hell, maybe Gabby was right. There was a lot of history between Mike and me.
***
It had been two days of nothing. No fucking leads and no god-damn progress. I was exhausted and so consumed I couldn’t even remember the last time I ate.
