by C. A. Harms
Josh
“Gabriella, I need you to listen to me.” A nurse leaned in toward Gabby in an attempt to get her to focus solely on the words she was speaking. “Your blood pressure is extremely high, and it has created some concern. We’ve called Dr. Bali, and he’s on his way but has directed us to prep you for a caesarean.”
I could see the alarm in Gabby’s eyes. I did all I could to remain calm, showing her that everything was going to be okay. But my own stomach was in knots. I felt nauseated at the thought of something happening to Gabby or our son.
When she looked at me I nodded my head and reached out to take her hand in mine. “It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart.”
I watched her close as her eyes remained focused on mine.
“I promise, baby.” I squeezed her hand for reassurance. “We’re gonna…” I began, only to stop midsentence as I watched her eyes roll back in her head just before her body began to jerk.
“What’s going on?” I asked in a panic as I was pushed aside. Alarms began to ring throughout the room as a mass amount of frenzied activity took place.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked once more, and it was then that a nurse that stood back placed her hand on my forearm. “We need to move her, sir. She is seizing and we need to get her blood pressure down. Until we deliver your child, we cannot safely do so. Please let them do what’s best for your wife and your baby.”
I couldn’t argue. I couldn’t find one reason why I should.
I just needed them to be okay.
***
“Any word?” Audrey asked as she sat down in the chair at my side and held out a cup of coffee.
I only shook my head, leaning back and taking the cup from her.
The warmth felt good on my hands, yet I had no desire to actually drink it.
I found myself wondering why in the fuck nothing could go as planned for Gabby and me. Everything had to come with some major fucked up whirlwind of crazy.
It had been over an hour since I was forced out of the room as they whisked the woman I loved toward the operating room.
I was left to wonder and worry.
The waiting area was now full of friends and family as we all waited for any news. Every one wore a look of defeat.
Gabby was just over thirty four weeks pregnant. Early, yes, but not so early that it was considered extremely high risk.
“Mr. Phoenix?” I heard my name called out and my heart felt as if it lurched in my chest.
“Yes.” I stood quietly and moved across the waiting area toward the older woman in scrubs. “I’m Joshua Phoenix.”
She smiled up at me. “Would you like to meet your son?”
Her words made my knees feel weak.
“He’s strong and healthy,” she assured me with a gentle nod. “And your wife is in recovery, doing very well.”
My shoulders sagged in relief as I let out a deep breath. The tension of the last two hours turned into what felt like exhaustion.
I nodded, allowing myself to follow her as she led me from the waiting area.
After washing my hands and arms with antibacterial soap, I dried them and was then led through a set of double doors. Just beyond those doors was a long hallway with rooms on each side every ten to twelve feet.
As we passed each room I looked through the doorways to see rooms with incubators along the walls. Some held parents with looks of joy on their faces as they looked in on their child.
The entire thing seemed surreal.
I had imagined more than once holding my son as Gabby and I both together shared the joy of becoming parents. I had never planned to meet him alone.
It wasn’t fear I was feeling, I knew that, but it was overwhelming.
Without any further time to prepare, the nurse stepped into a small room on the left, and my gaze immediately shifted toward the small bundle in the incubator, a blue cap covering his head. The closer I got the more my heart raced.
“Is he okay?” I asked. “Breathing on his own and…” I paused as I swallowed past the instant fear that developed within me.
“He’s perfect,” she added before I got the chance to panic any further. “He’s just a little small—four pounds, seven ounces.”
“Can I…” I motioned toward the contraption that held my son and she nodded her head.
“Don’t be alarmed by the machines. It’s just a precaution. You won’t hurt anything by touching him. You can even hold him.” I turned to face her and she smiled. “Do you want to hold your son?”
Again that overwhelming rush of something unknown ran through me. I felt as if I was doing something I shouldn’t, like I was taking away from Gabby, as if I was robbing her of something we should be sharing together.
But the desire to hold my child close outweighed those feelings and I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered, feeling the words burn my throat.
I watched in awe as she opened the side of the incubator and carefully removed my son, before turning to face me. “If you want to, have a seat and grab that pillow.”
I did as she asked, sitting in the rocker as I placed the pillow on my lap. “Prop your arm with the pillow on the side you wish to hold him.”
I placed the pillow beneath my right arm and found myself holding my breath as she lowered him to my arms.
And in that moment, when his face came in to view, I melted. Never in my life have I ever felt what I was feeling at that moment. It was an indescribable love that left me feeling drained and weak.
There wasn’t anything anyone could say or even do in that moment to take my focus off this beautiful child that Gabby and I created together.
Perfection didn’t even begin to describe him. He was so much more than perfect.
“Hey, Asher,” I whispered, and tears clouded my vision. “I’ve been waiting to meet you.”
He made a little grunting noise and I couldn’t help but laugh.
I was so in love within seconds, an instant connection I knew nothing could break.
“Your mommy’s gonna adore you, sweet boy,” I assured him as I watched him close, committing every noise and movement to memory so I could share them with Gabby later.
I truly couldn’t wait to introduce Asher to the woman who had given me everything I could ever ask for in a very short time. I wanted him to know just how much she loved us both and how that love was something that would forever keep his head above water, just as it had my own.
Chapter 22
Gabby
“He’s beautiful,” I whispered as I looked up at Josh through the haze I was in. I was still medicated and drowsy, but alert enough to see Asher.
Josh sat on the side of my bed as we both watched him sleep in his arms.
“And he’s okay?” I asked. It was the biggest fear I had from the moment I realized my water broke.
“He’s amazing, baby,” he assured me. “Small, but perfect.”
I could feel the instant relief wash over me. I could barely keep my eyes open. I fought against it, but it was pretty close to impossible.
“We’re gonna let you sleep, okay?” I heard Josh whisper, but all I could do was nod. Darkness had begun to take over as my body went completely limp.
***
When I woke the next time, I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It was dark out and my room was quiet.
Turning my head to the side, I found my father sleeping in one recliner, while Josh slept in the other.
I found it funny that they both guarded my bedside.
My father had a hard time letting go, and with everything happening with Leo, he was even worse.
My heart was so filled with love as I continued to watch them both. The two men I loved with my entire heart both did all they possibly could to keep me safe.
A light filtered in as the door to my room was gently pushed open and my mother stepped inside. “Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”
“I’m good,” I replied.
“Do you need anything?” She step
ped up to the opposite side of my bed and placed her hand on mine.
“No,” I whispered. “Have you seen him yet?”
I watched as her eyes lit up and she nodded her head. “I just came from there. Your sisters are with him now.”
I loved knowing that if I couldn’t be with Asher at all times, my sisters and mother were able to be there. It gave me a sense of security.
“He’s eating now,” she added.
“Good,” I said before looking back toward my dad and Josh.
“Let me guess, they both insisted on sleeping here.” I already knew the answer, but when my mom laughed, I had no doubt.
“They went back and forth for about ten minutes before Josh left the room. You should have seen the look on your father’s face.” My mom smiled wide. “He thought he had won. That was until Josh came back into the room pulling a second recliner behind him and placed it right next to your father. He then looked over at your dad and with a straight face said, ‘I snore, Marshall. If that bothers you, then there’s the door.’”
I could imagine Josh doing that very thing; he was so hard-headed.
“I think that was the moment your father gave in and accepted that Josh deserved you.” I looked from the two guys back toward my mother. “I could see it in his eyes Gabs. He knew in that moment that his little girl would no longer need him.”
“I’ll always need him,” I told her, because it was true. I would forever adore my father and his overbearing ways.
“Yeah, that’s true. But now you have Josh, and your dad is going to have to learn to loosen the reins. Plus, he still has two other daughters to torture.” We both knew Brook and Audrey would just love his attention being redirected to them.
***
It was so hard to believe Asher was two weeks old already.
After I was released it was hard to leave the hospital without him, but we had to make sure he was maintaining his weight. Plus, after day four he became jaundiced and they were watching that as well.
Today we were on our way to the hospital to bring our son home, all four pounds thirteen ounces of him.
It was still so hard to believe he was here.
“You ready?” I looked over to my left and smiled as Josh placed the car in park.
“More than ready,” I replied.
Every single moment away from Asher was torture. It always left me feeling like part of me was missing. And today that feeling would come to an end because never again would I have to leave the hospital without him.
Both Josh and I could hardly contain our excitement as we held one another’s hand tightly. I had spent half the night going over everything in the nursery two or three times making sure we had everything we needed, until Josh forced me to go to bed. And even then I lay awake staring up at the ceiling, making mental notes of those things I may need to get more of.
This morning I even woke before the alarm and was ready to go before Josh had even stepped out of the shower.
Once we stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor, I practically drug Josh toward the nursery as he chuckled at my eagerness. I knew, though, that he was feeling the urgency as well—he just hid it better than I did.
After checking in and washing up, Nurse Kelly handed Asher over to me and I snuggled him close. “He just ate and has been changed,” she said with a smile as she stepped aside and allowed Josh to get closer.
Without a second thought he leaned in and placed the sweetest of kisses against Asher’s forehead, and I felt my heart flutter.
There was just something about the sight of Josh with Asher that made my whole body feel weak and gooey. It really was something that triggered the greatest of feelings.
He looked up at me and my heart melted just a little more when he spoke.
“Let’s take our boy home.”
Chapter 23
Leo
I would allow them this time.
I would give her some time with her child, but soon she would be mine.
She was of no use to me in her current condition.
I needed her to be healed from childbirth and at her best.
But our time was quickly approaching, and the location for our proper introductions was already set. And each time I thought of our impending sanctity, my mouth watered in need.
I wanted to feel her thrashing beneath me as I showed her what a real man was capable of. She would then know that what she feels with Joshua was nothing.
I could feel myself growing hard as I imagined the way her body would feel against me. Oh the things I wanted to do to Gabriella. I could almost taste her sweet essence on my tongue.
It was now only a matter of time before she became mine and Joshua Phoenix would know what it felt like to have someone fuck with his livelihood.
I took pleasure in knowing I would be the cause of his pain.
Chapter 24
Josh
“Mr. Phoenix!” Noel, the watchman for our building, hollered as we entered. I held Asher’s carrier close as he approached, holding an arrangement of flowers.
“These came for you while you were out,” he said. “I thought I would just hold them here for you.”
I looked over at Gabby just as she rose up on her toes and began to reach for the card. “Wait,” I said, and she froze with her hand extended above the arrangement.
“Who brought them?” I asked Noel.
“A local florist delivered them about thirty minutes after you left. A local place, young delivery guy.” Noel looked at Josh for a moment before he suddenly pulled the flowers back toward him.
“I’ll just hold these here for you until you get Ms. Shannon and the baby settled.” He took a step backward and I nodded in understanding as I nudged Gabby forward.
“Josh, I can carry the flowers, it’s no big deal.” Gabby started to reach for them and I held out my arm to stop her.
“No.”
She cocked her head to the side in question, but it must have been the uneasy look on my face that made her understand what was running through my mind.
“Let’s go upstairs,” she nodded as she began walking toward the elevator and I followed behind.
It truly could be nothing, and I understood that. But I also knew that everyone who had meant anything to us had already congratulated us. We had received flowers and gifts from everyone possible, and most everyone had already either called or showed up to see Asher.
The fact that two weeks later we had someone randomly deliver flowers just made me feel slightly uneasy.
I wasn’t willing to take the chance.
***
I hear congratulations are in order. Give them both a kiss for me.
The message was written and signed “Leo.” I doubted it was his own writing but the writing of someone at the florist. He was sending yet another message. He still wanted us to know he was watching us.
I thrust the card at Gray.
“I want someone down there now,” I told him. “I want every fucking person inside that shop questioned. I wanna know who called this order in and I want to know how they paid for it.”
I was trying to hold my shit together, but I was finding it real fucking hard. My hands shook as I fisted them; the need to hit something was pulling at me hard.
“Whatever it takes to track this order, we do it. I don’t give a fuck if we are breaking protocol, find out who this bitch is.” We were in the lobby of our building and my voice echoed throughout the open space.
“Let’s hope there’s a link,” Grayson said as he spun around on his heel and pulled his phone from his pocket.
“There is, Gray.” I knew there had to be some fucking way to find out where Leo was hiding. No one was this fucking good.
After about fifteen minutes of breathing, trying my very best to control the anger boiling inside me, I took the elevator back upstairs to my family.
I found Gabby lying on the bed with Asher next to her, wrapped securely in his blanket. She was wide awake as she watc
hed him sleep.
Even after all the shit that had just gone down, I couldn’t help the warm feeling that filled me when I saw them both.
My life has always been a rush of adrenaline.
The need to do whatever it took to track the bad guys and bring them to justice had always been enough. It was all I thought I needed to be happy.
That was until I met a sassy brunette who saved me from the date from fucking hell. She won my heart in the first few minutes and I have never been the same since.
And now she had given me yet another piece I hadn’t known was missing.
I made my way toward them as I crawled up on the opposite side of our son and placed my palm against his tiny back.
Gabby giggled and I looked up at her.
“Your hand covers his entire lower half,” she pointed out, and I smiled in return. She was right.
I slid closer so that our faces were only inches apart and leaned in to place a gentle kiss to her lips. “I love you,” I told her.
She placed her fingertip against the space just between my eyes and ran it downward. “I love you too, handsome man, but why the frown?”
I didn’t want to worry her. It seemed I was always trying to keep the darkness from her. Gabby was my light, and I didn’t want it all to bring her down the way it had me. It wasn’t fair to her.
She had never asked for any of this.
“I’m just tired, sweetheart,” I told her, twisting my head enough to kiss her fingertip that rested against my cheek. “Having you both here, it just makes everything fall into place, and I can finally relax.”
She hadn’t asked about the flowers. I knew with Asher occupying her mind, it was only a matter of time before she brought it up, but right now I would accept the peace.
It seemed we rarely got it anymore.
***
I hadn’t meant to fall asleep. I was only going to close my eyes for a moment, but the ringing of my cell phone alerted me I had in fact given in to my exhausted state.
