by C. A. Harms
I tried to swallow past the burn, but it only rose higher. My mouth watered, and my eyes stung as I continued to fight my reaction to his words.
“I’m right out there,” he said once more, “and don’t underestimate my senses, beautiful. I have very good hearing.”
Once the door closed, the tears began to fall. I twisted to the side to muffle my cry, because the last thing I wanted was for him to return.
I wanted Josh, I wanted Asher, and the comfort of them both.
But my biggest fear was that I may not be given the chance to see them again. It was a crippling realization.
Chapter 32
Leo
“How long?” I asked as Dr. Joseph stepped from the room.
He was just another person on my payroll. It was amazing what people would do for you when you had what they needed.
Toss a little coke or heroin in a junkie’s direction and bam, they do whatever you ask, no questions asked. All their morals, their conscience, they become nonexistent as they seek out their next high. It was what I loved more than anything—the control, the power. I could make it all happen; I held their lives in my hands.
“She needs at least two weeks,” he said hesitantly. There was the fear. He knew there was a chance I would grow angry with his words. “Normal healing time is six weeks, but with the fresh tear to her incision she may need a little longer. I can check her again in a week and let you know how she’s healing.”
I nodded as he stepped around me and picked up the small clear baggie that was the form of payment he required to drive almost one hundred miles outside of the city to see Gabriella.
“Same time next week?” he asked.
“I’ll be expecting it,” I assured him.
I understood that taking Gabriella prior to my original plans would hold challenges I had hoped to avoid. But I was left with no other choice. The satisfaction of knowing Josh and everyone else who loved her were already feeling that loss was satisfying enough for now.
But the terrorizing is not over. Wait until they see what I have in store for them next.
Chapter 33
Josh
Two fucking days.
Two of the longest days of my life.
I had never felt pain like this before.
The loss.
Looking at Asher was hard. I felt not only had I failed Gabby, but I failed him too. I was empty. The ache was so raw it hurt to breathe.
I couldn’t stop the images from wandering into my mind and taking over. What was she going through?
That thought alone was crippling.
I was a ticking time bomb and everyone knew it. It came in spurts. One minute I was dedicated, solely focused on every fucking detail of the day she was taken, then I was going crazy, punching walls, throwing things across the room. I knew I was losing it with each second that ticked by.
Grayson would no longer allow me in the hospital room with Margo. After the last time I threatened to cause her more harm than Leo had if she didn’t tell me where the fuck Gabby was, it was probably best I kept my distance.
But the problem was I couldn’t be in the presence of anyone. I just couldn’t stomach it. Every word spoken, every god-damn piece of furniture, or hell, even just a certain smell would break me. I would somehow tie it to a memory of Gabby, and then once again I was falling apart. I had cried more in the last two days than I think I had in my entire life combined.
I fucked up.
I left her vulnerable, in the exact position Leo was waiting for.
Audrey wasn’t much better than I was. She blamed herself, even though she was a victim in this as well. She had been played. And the worst part was now we knew that Nic was dirty. He had succumbed to the evils of Leo, and all along he played us just as Frank had.
It made me question every person around me.
And when I began to question Grayson, I knew it was too fucking much. But I couldn’t stop myself from believing everyone around me was the enemy.
“Son.” I looked up to find my father approaching.
I had escaped to his place in hopes of finding myself again. But the longer I sat here on his back porch, staring off at nothing in particular, I only felt like I was falling more.
He took a seat in the chair at my side and held out a beer toward me. Turning my head, I stared back out into the small yard and refused to take it.
The click of the bottle as he sat it against the glass top on the table between us was the only sound exchanged.
We sat in silence, my chest aching with every breath I took.
There was a grey haze hanging in the air, the sky filled with darkened clouds, and I found it appropriate for my current mood. It was as if the entire world felt my pain too. They should, because I had never in my life felt the pain I felt at this moment. Not even when I was forced to be hidden away from the people I loved. At least at that time they were all safe.
The unknown was ripping me apart piece by fucking piece, and I was barely hanging on.
“I know you’re hurting, son.”
“No, you don’t know what I’m feeling.” Even the sound of my own voice surprised me. It was harsh and cold. “I’m empty.”
Another silence set in. If it had been any other person sitting next to me I may have worried about what I said or the way it was taken. But not with my dad. He was just like me and I knew that if I could be blunt and straightforward with anyone, it would be him.
“I know how much you love Gabby. And I know how much blame you’re laying on yourself, but you have to try to hold it together. You have Asher to think about.” His voice was calm.
“You don’t think I know that?” I said as I turned to face him. The anger that came in spurts rushed though me once more.
“I have to look at my son, his big fucking eyes staring up at me, and know that his mother may never come back to him.” I stood up, looking down at my father as he remained completely calm. “That the next time, if there is a next time I see Gabby, it may be to fucking identify her. That is a strong possibility when Leo is involved. It fucking guts me, Dad. I fucking did this. I did,” I said as I slapped my own chest hard.
“I willingly planted myself inside this fucked up world and put her in danger. Hell, I put you all in danger.” My throat burned, my breathing growing heavy.
“I should have walked away,” I said, in more of a defeated tone. “When I had the chance I should have walked away from her and let her live her life. But no, I just kept holding on, and now look where we are.”
I closed my eyes tightly as I felt the first tear fall.
“I can’t look at him, Dad,” I confessed as I lowered myself to the patio floor on my knees. “I can’t look at Asher, because I am the reason his mother is gone.”
And just like that, I broke.
Placing my head on my father’s knees, I cried like I was a child again. It was uncontrollable, deep sobs ripping through me, feeling lost to the world.
I wasn’t sure I would or ever could come back from this.
As of that moment, I was surrounded by complete darkness.
And I only continued to fall deeper into that black hole with each breath I took.
***
I woke to the sounds of a baby crying, and there was no mistaking that cry. I sat up and looked around the room, forgetting for a moment where I was.
That happened often.
I was in my old room, which had been converted into the bedroom my nephew had chosen for his own to use when he stayed at Grandpa’s house.
Asher sounded pissed off, his cries growing harder and harder, piercing the silence.
I jumped from the bed and swung open the door to find Marshall standing just outside, with Brooklynn at his side, holding my son.
Just as I looked down at Asher, Brook gave him his bottle and walked off toward the living room, leaving me to face a displeased man.
“Well, it’s good to see that you still have a spot in that hardened heart of yours for
a son that needs you,” he sneered.
And the anger returned, like a fucking light switch.
“Don’t give me that fucking shit, because you don’t know what I’m feeling,” I said, stepping even closer to him.
“I don’t?” he asked.
A pause set in as I thought to myself that had to be one of the dumbest things I had ever said. Of course Gabby’s dad knew what I was feeling, because he was feeling it too.
“Because I’m pretty sure I feel like my heart has been run through a fucking meat grinder. I feel like I want to fall to my knees and just give up. But we can’t, and the fact that you have pisses me off.” I looked him straight in the eyes as he continued. “I thought you were more than this.”
“Whatever,” I said in return. “You never thought I was enough. From the beginning you judged me and my life.”
“Is that really what you think?” he asked.
When I didn’t answer, he crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance.
“Yeah,” I said. The anger slowly dissipated, and I could instantly feel myself crawling back into the darkness.
“I felt your dedication to my daughter almost immediately,” he confessed, letting his own hardness fade. “But as a father, it’s hard to let go completely. My girls mean the world to me, and I’ve protected them for a long time.”
“And the moment you let go, I led Gabby into the hands of the sickest man.” I leaned back against the doorframe and let my gaze fall to the floor at my feet.
“This is not your fault,” he said. I lifted my hand in an attempt to argue, but he shook his head and held out his hand for me to stop. “You protected her to the point of suffocation.”
“But it wasn’t enough, and I have to live with that,” I replied.
“We can all sit around and blame ourselves for the things we didn’t do, or the things we should have done different, or we can find Gabriella.” He shrugged. “I don’t know about you, but finding her sounds like the better of those two options.”
“Yeah it does,” I replied. “But I’m not much help to the search right now.”
“I don’t buy that, because to me you’re the most dedicated to the search.” He reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze. “It’s time to come back to us, son. Time to come back to Asher and time to find your future wife.”
And for the second time in one day, I lost my shit and sobbed.
Chapter 34
Gabby
I woke once again to Leo standing over at me, peering down with that look in his eyes that gave me chills of disgust. He had pulled the blanket back and held in his hands what looked like a clean set of clothing.
“It’s time to get you cleaned up.” He smiled, shaking the clothes to indicate what he meant.
“I have the shower warming,” he added.
I remained frozen and completely silent, terrified actually, at the thought of getting naked anywhere in his presence.
“I’ve gotten all the toiletries you will need. I’ll also remove the rope, but I need to show you something first.” He moved the clothes he held to one hand while he reached around his back with the other.
I watched as he exposed a long knife, which resembled those hunters generally used. It was huge and I swallowed hard, unable to take my eyes from the sharp blade.
He chuckled, which only made me tense more, looking up to meet his evil gaze.
“I don’t plan to use it, unless you give me a reason to,” he stated, tucking it back into his pocket. “I’ll allow you to shower alone, but only with the door open. I’ll have the perfect view from the hallway.” He winked, and my chest felt like I had been punched. It was almost impossible to breathe.
“I may not be able to touch you yet, Gabriella, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy you in other ways.” He reached out and began to release the rope.
I could feel the tears building in my eyes, but I did my best to fight them. I knew there could be worse things, but I truly felt violated.
Every time the thought of running crossed my mind, I kept reminding myself of the knife he held in his back pocket. I knew in my current state I would not make it far. I still had no idea where we were. I just understood we were in a cabin somewhere.
As Leo led me from the room and down a small hallway, I took the time to observe my surroundings.
Everything was decorated in a rustic setting. Log slatted walls confirmed we were in a cabin.
Leo had all the windows covered with curtains and the blinds added that extra privacy. There was no way of knowing where we were; he made sure of that.
He paused at a closed door and reached out to open it.
A small bathroom came into view.
Pushing the door open wide, he motioned for me to enter.
The bathroom had no windows, no other exit but the one door we entered through. A sudden sense of claustrophobia threatened a panic attack within me, so I concentrated on my breathing.
“Everything you should need is right here,” he whispered from behind me. “A towel and wash cloth are here.” His breath fanned out over my neck, and I shivered in disgust.
Reaching out, he pushed my hair to the side, and I flinched uncontrollably as he leaned in close, his lips skimming my ear. “And I’ll be right there, watching your every move.”
I understood what he was doing. And it was working. I had never in my life felt so repulsed and scared at the same time.
I understood that I had no way out of this current situation. It was his way of showing me he held the power.
I stood completely still as he backed away, and then I heard the soles of his shoes tap against the hardwood floor as he retreated down the hallway.
A silence set over the house and I turned just enough to look back over my shoulder, finding Leo sitting in a chair at the kitchen table with his arms resting on top. His eyes locked on me, a smile spread out over his face.
I quickly began running my options through my head.
Taking each item from the edge of the sink, I placed them just inside the shower, one by one. Once everything was ready I stepped into the shower, fully clothed and pulled the curtain closed.
I could hear him chuckle as it echoed down the hall, and when I looked in his direction I could see why.
The shower curtain was clear, as in see-through. Yes, it would give a small amount of distortion, but not the amount I was hoping for.
“You need to get started, Gabriella, that is unless you’re waiting for me to help you. I would be more than happy to assist.” He waited at the table, as if allowing me to think it over. Until suddenly he stood and I jumped in surprise before quickly grabbing the hem of my shirt and started to work myself free.
He seemed satisfied in my efforts, sitting back down at the table, but never taking his eyes from me.
My body shook in fear as I continued to undress. I did not care that I was soaked from the water that was running when I entered fully dressed. I allowed the wet clothes to drop to the shower floor, keeping my back to Leo, attempting to hide all I could.
I showered quickly, hoping to make the show less enjoyable, but when I looked up to find him moving his hand in an upward stroke over his lap, I realized it wouldn’t be something I could avoid.
The tears fell heavy and my stomach began to turn.
Closing my eyes tightly, I pictured Josh’s smile. I imagined my own arms were his as I wrapped them tightly over me and did all I could to distance myself from the moment.
I could not fall apart. It was what Leo wanted. He needed me to be weak and I wasn’t willing to give him that.
This man had taken me from my family, and if it was the last thing I did, I would make him wish he hadn’t.
Chapter 35
Josh
“Why?” I asked as I sat down in the metal chair. “What possessed you to help him?”
I had gone back to the hospital every day since Marshall showed up at my father’s.
&n
bsp; Four days in a row now, practically begging Margo to help me find Gabby.
She too was a shell of her former self. She was like a drugged-out junkie, staring off into empty space. I wasn’t even sure anything I said to her actually penetrated that dark gloom she was living in, but I had to hope.
“He took her, Margo. He took her away from a son who needs her.” I paused so that I could attempt to control my emotions. Every single time I mentioned Asher I felt like I swallowed acid, the burn was so fucking intense. “I need her.”
I saw her hand squeeze the sheets at her side, yet she never spoke.
“Please. If you know where he took her, even an idea, please help us.” I practically begged her to give me something, even a small ray of hope.
I sat in the chair at her side, that familiar feeling of guilt washing over me, but I fought against the power of it. Every time I felt like crawling back into that hole, I remembered Marshall’s words.
“Hey.” I looked up as Grayson entered the room, followed by a slow-moving Mike.
“What are you doing, man? You should be in bed,” I said as I moved over to open up the chair closest to the door.
Mike took a seat and leaned back, stretching out his legs. “I’m good,” he said. “I wanna help.”
That look of determination I recognized well covered his features. Mike was a great guy, and an even greater agent. He was an asset, and I appreciated anything he was willing to offer, even if it was long before he should’ve been returning back from his injuries.
“Thank you,” I said. I didn’t want to chance saying anything more. I could already feel the emotions taking over, and I needed to get a hold on them.
It was time for us to push hard. It was time to create that fucking wall that kept me grounded. It was time to fight for Gabby.
“Let’s find my girl.” I stood up, and as I was stepping out of the room, I looked over my shoulder to find Margo watching us leave.
