by C. A. Harms
Seeing the two men I loved so deeply band together at my side was only another breaking point, and I let go of everything I fought to hide for days.
The fear and anger all ripped from me at once as I screamed out; they both took one of my hands in each of theirs.
No one attempted to calm me; they just allowed me this escape I so desperately needed.
“He’s dead?” I finally asked. “He’s gone?”
It was Josh who spoke first as he knelt at the side of my bed, wrapping both his hands around mine. He kissed my hand, and I could see the shimmering wetness in his eyes.
“He’s never going to be able to hurt anyone again,” he assured me, and I closed my eyes tightly, allowing his words to soak in for a moment.
No longer would I ever have to hide out, fearful of some deranged madman threatening my life.
The emotional toll of the events of the last week will forever play in my mind. Even though I hoped it wouldn’t change me, I knew it had. There was no stopping it. I was no longer the same woman I was prior to Leo.
None of us were the same.
***
“They’re going to transfer you closer to home,” Josh said as he held my hand. He sat in a chair at the side of my bed and I stared back at him in wonder.
“Thank you for coming for me,” I whispered, completely ignoring his announcement. “I dreamed of it nightly. It got me through those first few days.”
I could tell me talking about my time with Leo was painful for him to hear, but it had to be done. If we had any hope of moving forward from this, we both needed it.
“And then I stopped dreaming of you coming, and started dreaming of you and Asher finding a way to be happy without me.” He began shaking his head, and tears pooled in his eyes.
“No,” he whispered.
“Yes. It was something I had to envision, Josh, because during those days there was a strong possibility I wouldn’t ever see either of you again. I had to imagine those things to make it through. I couldn’t imagine you both unhappy and grieving; it hurt too much. I had to picture you both happy, and it helped, it really did.” At first it was hard to do, but I forced myself to believe they would move on and find happiness without me.
“I wouldn’t have been able to move on,” he confessed as he rested his head against my stomach. “You truly have no idea just how deeply I love you. I feel you in my god-damn bones, Gabriella Shannon. Every time I look at Asher, I see you. I see your smile and your fucking nose. There is no way I could ever move on from you.”
His body shook as he buried his face in my side, breathing me in.
“I love you so much,” he said. It sounded muffled but it couldn’t be hidden. “I felt empty without you. And now that you’re here with me, and I can feel you, I feel whole again.”
He rose up and sat on the edge of my bed as he leaned over my body, placing one arm on each side of me. “And now the only thing I want is to get you back home and place our son in your arms—because he needs his momma too.”
I couldn’t wait to hold my baby boy. I felt like it had been years since I kissed his chubby little cheeks and smelled his baby scent.
“I want that too,” I confessed, and Josh smiled as he brought his lips to mine, and for the first times in days, he kissed me.
And washed away the vile memories of Leo and the way he forcefully kissed me out in the woods.
Chapter 44
Josh
It had been three weeks since we found Gabby. And in those three weeks, I watched her go through so many different emotions.
Terror.
Depression.
Anger.
And finally acceptance.
I think we all knew that times would still be hard. There was a lot of healing left for all of us. But we would all get through it together.
The things that bothered me most were her night terrors. She would thrash in her sleep and scream “No!” over and over. The tears that leaked from her eyes nearly broke my heart; all I could do was soothe her fears and hold her close as she let go of the demons inside her mind.
Leo was gone, yet the darkness he inflicted would still be felt. It was yet another form of power he still held over us.
I hadn’t pressed Gabby to talk, even after I sat by her side while she told the detectives exactly the things she had gone through. It was hard to hear how he played with her mind day after day, how he touched her and watched her. It made me wish I had been the one to kill him, but Gray held that honor.
He took his shot.
And I will be forever grateful.
Grayson saved Gabby.
***
With Margo’s help in locating Gabby, her time was reduced.
She was a lost woman who had been sucked into Leo’s world without any escape, but she had threatened Gabby’s life. She willingly participated in the events leading Leo right to Gabby, and for that she must right her wrongs.
She was sentenced to five years in a women’s prison in West Virginia. I’ve been told she has accepted her involvement in the events and is working on becoming the woman she once was.
She has not made an attempt to contact Gabby, but I know that time will someday come. I wasn’t sure how I feel about that, but I would deal with it when the time came.
Nic would also be locked away without hope of being released anytime soon. We found him so high and lost to the fucking world, shacked up in some hotel with four hookers. With the amount of drugs throughout the penthouse suite, he went down for every ounce of coke, amongst other drugs. Plus, his ties with Leo sealed the deal, and if the man ever smelt freedom again I would be surprised.
For now I just wanted Gabby to heal. I wanted us all to heal.
As I drove in the direction of Cape Cod, I looked up in the rearview mirror. I couldn’t help but smile.
Gabby was fast asleep with her head resting against the side of Asher’s car seat. His head rested on top of her head, and with the lack of movement I realized he must have been asleep too.
Choosing to escape to a home I rented along Buttermilk Bay was something I felt we desperately needed. The idea of spending time only to reconnect with both Gabby and our son made me feel secure. I needed to have that feeling again. I think we both did.
The place was actually one where my parents had vacationed often when we were younger. I had some fond memories of my mother in the home.
She would always wake early in the morning and make a huge breakfast so we could all eat together out on the balcony. It was like I could still feel the morning sun heating my skin as I breathed in the warm ocean breeze. My mother made sure we all got the full experience of a vacation just off the Bay.
And sometimes if I closed my eyes, I could still see her smile and hear her laughter as she danced in the sand, twirling around as she held on to Libby’s hands.
Dad, Brett, and I would just watch them with matching smiles. The memories created there, together as a family, were memories I would hold for a lifetime.
I was looking forward to sharing stories of those times with Gabby, as well as creating memories of our own. It was our time now.
We spent many months hiding, and fearful of our every move, but now we could breathe. We could venture out without fear and enjoy all the little things that life gifts to us.
As the homes came into view, I could feel the excitement of our adventure boiling in my stomach.
I felt like a kid again.
Chapter 45
Gabby
I spent hours walking the beach line, smelling the warm breeze, and feeling at peace, something I had not felt in a while.
It was something I had craved, and understood now how desperately I needed it.
I stood on the deck, leaning against the railing. The sun was beginning to set, and the yellow cast that reflected off the water was beautiful. I closed my eyes and just listened to the sound of the water and the chirping of birds.
Josh’s arms slid around my waist, and I allowed m
y body to rest back against his. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he whispered against my ear.
“Yes,” I replied as I placed my hands over his and snuggled back further against his chest.
We stood like this for what felt like hours, but I knew it was only moments before I turned to face him.
Tipping my head upward, I looked up at him and gently ran my fingertips along his jawline. I smiled when he closed his eyes and leaned in to my touch.
“Thank you so much for this,” I whispered. “We needed this time.”
“We did,” he agreed as he opened his eyes once more and leaned in to kiss me softly. “It’s our fresh start. And this time I’m doing everything right for you and for Asher.”
I could feel an emotional burn rising in my throat as he continued.
“It’s time we start creating happy memories. No more darkness, baby,” he assured me as he cupped my jaw with his hand. “Our new beginning starts today.”
I nodded in agreement.
Reaching up, I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer, covering his lips with mine.
He began to sway me from side to side as we kissed.
And it was in that moment I decided to no longer allow Leo and the things he put me through take away from the moments Josh and I shared. Leo didn’t deserve those moments.
It was time for our new start.
It was time for us to finally be the family I had dreamed of.
And it all started now.
***
I woke when the bed dipped at my side. It was still dark out and we had left the door open on the balcony, which allowed the breeze to filter in.
I hadn’t remembered falling asleep. I just remembered crawling into bed after Asher was placed in the crib, then turning on my side to watch the water through the French doors. It was peaceful, and obviously had overtaken me, because now I woke hours later to Josh sitting at my side.
“Hi,” I whispered. He smiled that sweet smile and it still made my stomach flutter with what felt like a hundred butterflies.
“Hi,” he said in return.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” I confessed as I rolled onto my back and stretched my legs, finally feeling normal again.
I had healed physically and had been released with a clean bill of health from my doctor. Now it was just the emotional scars that I continued to face.
“It’s okay,” he assured me. “I’ve been watching you sleep.”
I arched a brow at him and he chuckled. “I’ve missed that,” he confessed with a little bit of sadness etched in his voice. “I remember our first nights together after I came back. I would just lay awake for hours and watch you sleep. It gave me peace.”
He moved his body around and positioned himself at my side before continuing.
“I can’t explain it, but it just settled everything inside me after a long day of hell.” He lifted his hand and placed it against my stomach, just beneath my breast. “I’ve really missed that feeling. And I’ve really missed you.”
Tears pooled in my eyes because I had missed him too. So very much.
“I love you so much,” I whispered as I pulled him toward me. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered as he shifted his body over me, his face now only inches from mine. “I’ve missed us.”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, and then he placed his lips on mine.
Every movement was so slow, so precise. Josh took his time kissing me and loving me. It wasn’t only a sexual connection, but I felt the emotional connection outweigh every other feeling.
I could feel every touch so deep in my soul it was hard to breathe.
Just before he entered me, our gazes locked and he whispered, new beginning, once more. And that was truly what it was.
Our new start.
As he moved inside of me, I felt all the aches slowly begin to wash away.
We were making new memories, our memories.
My back arched off the bed as he hit that spot so deep inside me. I could feel myself building toward my release. My body tingled and hummed with so much pleasure.
“Yes,” I said in a whisper as he continued to move with ease.
It was the perfect rhythm, the perfect pace.
My lower stomach tightened and he tilted his hips just enough to hit the spot once more. I exploded around him as I gripped his shoulders tight. My nails dug in to his skin and he groaned out, just before spilling inside of me. The warmth of his release filled me and he continued to move with small thrusts, riding out his orgasm.
I waited for him to slow, but was surprised when his movements increased once again.
I could feel him growing hard inside me as he pushed deeper and deeper with each thrust.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I urged him to move harder and faster.
I didn’t want him to feel that he couldn’t be himself. I didn’t want him to treat me as if I was some delicate flower. I wanted us, and that meant I wanted him to be the man he had always been with me.
I needed him to let go.
As if he could read my thoughts, he began pumping his hips harder as the sounds of our movements filled the room.
“Just like that,” I praised him.
“Does that feel good?” he asked, and all I could do was nod. Of course it felt good. Everything with Josh felt good.
“So good,” I said in a gasp, as he slammed into me and my body jerked from the assault.
His breathing became more labored as he kept up his movements, and I could feel myself building once more.
“Let go, Gabby,” he whispered against my neck. “I need to feel you, baby. Give it to me.”
And I did.
A moan of pleasure escaped him as he continued to fuck me.
It was that moment I knew we had found each other once again.
Yes, we have been side by side every day since they rescued me from that cabin, but we felt so separated. It was as if something was lingering between us and keeping us apart. Some invisible force made me feel like a stranger in my own skin, and I knew it only kept us from truly being who we once were.
But it was in a house in Cape Cod where we discovered one another again.
Josh and I spent the remaining part of our vacation enjoying every moment with Asher while he was awake, and during the times he slept, we continued to work on reconnecting. We talked, and we cried. We laughed, and we made love under the stars on more than one occasion.
And when we left Cape Cod, we were stronger than we had ever been before.
Epilogue
Three Months Later
Josh
“Feeling nervous?” my father asked as he adjusted his bow tie. I had to laugh at his obvious distaste for the penguin suit he was wearing.
My father was more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy.
“Not feeling nervous, no,” I replied. “More anxious than anything else.”
He smiled, and something told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.
“They all kicked me out last night and I had to sleep on Mike’s couch.” My father wrinkled his nose and I laughed. “Yeah, I know there is absolutely no reason to say a word. I thought all night long about the filth I may have been laying in. It would explain the forty-five minute hot as hell shower I took this morning.”
My father did one of those fake shivers, and I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was hilarious at times.
“They kicked Grayson out too,” I added. “He pouted all damn night like some lost boy. I never thought I would ever see the day that guy handed his balls over to any woman, but he has. Guy has it bad.”
“Ah,” my father chuckled, “the magic of the Shannon sisters.”
He had that right.
There was definitely something there. Mike, Gray, and I would vouch for that.
“Speaking of Shannon sisters.” I looked up at my father and found him pointing toward the doorway. There stood Audrey in the doorway holding Asher. He wore a
tux that matched my own, and he looked about as happy as his grandpa was with the getup.
“Gabby insisted his daddy could soothe his broken heart.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew this trick; in fact, Gabby played it often.
Whenever Asher was cranky and irritable she would pull out the “Daddy can make it all better” card. That shit worked every damn time and she knew it. There was no hope of me saying no; after all—I wanted to be that guy that made everything right, for him and for her.
I may be a complete sucker when it came to the powers of my son and future wife, I would admit it. There was no reason to deny they controlled my every thought.
I took Asher from Audrey and he instantly lay his head on my shoulder, wrapping his arm around my neck. I was a grown man, one that fought against the powers of evil in the city of New York, daily. Yet when it came to Asher, I became instant putty. Just one little hug and, fuck—I was a goner.
“Hey, buddy,” I whispered as I soothingly patted his back.
He was tired, his eyes were already drooping.
We still had about forty minutes before the ceremony, so I walked over toward the chair in the corner and sat down, holding Asher securely in place. It was the perfect length of time for a power nap.
In just a few short hours I would be dancing with my wife.
That thought made me smile.
We’d made it.
At times I wasn’t sure, and those thoughts broke my heart. Because a life without Gabriella by my side was a life I was unsure I would survive.
The time Leo had her were some dark fucking times for me. It was a test I failed miserably.
I wouldn’t live in some delusional world and allow myself to believe that from this point on everything would be perfect, because I knew that we would still face hurdles. Nothing was ever perfect. But I would have her by my side, so I knew we would make it through.
