by Livia Grant
“Me? I’m different? What about you, Troy?”
“What about me? Nothing has changed with me.”
“Really? You sure about that?” She is shouting at him.
“Lower your voice. You’re making a scene.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I would hate to embarrass you.”
“That’s it. What the fuck is going on with you?”
“Nothing. I just want to go to the concert is all.”
“Well, we aren’t going anywhere but home with you acting like this.”
“Home. Very funny. Listen, I spent a lot of money for those tickets and I’m going to the concert. You can’t stop me. If you want to throw your ticket away, I’ll just take it and pawn it. I’m sure I can sell it at the gate.”
Troy is beside himself. “Let’s go.”
She digs her heels in. “No. I’m going to the concert.”
She breaks away from him and starts walking in the opposite direction. Troy regrets letting her carry the tickets in her purse. He catches up to her easily, pulling her to another stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Other concertgoers have to detour around them as they stand in their stare-off.
“Hallie, please. Talk to me. Honey, what’s going on with you?”
She was tempted, but he sees her steel herself again. “I just want to go to the concert. Please, let’s just go. I don’t want to be late.”
Troy knows it’s a mistake the second he allows them to continue walking towards the stadium. He should throw her over his shoulder and carry her home, but he just doesn’t have enough history with her yet to do that. Mistake or not, it’s New Year’s Eve and they are going to go to the concert. One thing is for sure. He’s not going to give up trying to get her to open up tonight.
*****
The only thing holding Hallie together is the alcohol and sheer determination. She’s having trouble holding onto her anger at Troy’s betrayal and planned move back to DC. The sadness and sense of loss for something she almost had is setting in. She wants so badly to crawl up into a corner and cry, but sheer pride is the only thing keeping her from falling apart.
She has to hand it to him. He’s a very good actor. Several times tonight he’d almost convinced her that he really cared about her, but she had to steel herself to remember he was just hoping for more sex before he cuts her loose.
She’s on her second glass of wine since hitting the stadium. She had pulled in some favors with friends in the industry to get them really great seats and Troy doesn’t know it yet, but her contacts had also sent her two backstage passes for after the concert.
As she settles into her seat to wait for the show to start, she takes stock of how it feels to be surrounded by her old lifestyle. While Eddie and The Kings are not here tonight, they have played in endless concert halls just like this and the memories of that life are fresh. It’s not that she missed Eddie and the band necessarily, but it hits her how much she had walked away from when she got in Gopher and drove away from her old life.
She was good at managing the band. In spite of being so young, she had just begun to get really good at her job and then she’d thrown it all away. It depresses her to think that she’ll need to start all over again and worse, she has absolutely no clue what she is going to do to support herself if she stays with her aunt and uncle. She knows she can’t live off their charity forever and the little nest egg she had saved is just that… little.
As the lights go down and the warm up band takes the stage, Hallie is relieved. It’s finally too dark and loud to have to try to talk to Troy. He hadn’t given up trying to get her to open up to him and he was wearing her down. As the concertgoers around her reveal in the music, Troy and Hallie stand silently miserable in the middle of what should be a fun event.
Hallie’s thoughts turn to Corbin’s Bend and her aunt and uncle. She’d planned on telling Troy tonight that she had made up her mind to stay in Corbin’s Bend, but now what’s the point? Yes, her family is there, but she’s an adult. They don’t need to have her complicating their life. If Troy isn’t going to be in Corbin’s Bend with her, maybe she should move on.
* * * * *
Hallie’s head is pounding by the time they make it through the concert. Troy is reaching for their coats as Hallie decides to spring the VIP passes on him.
“Listen, I have back stage passes since I got the tickets through some of my contacts.”
“No way. We came to the concert, but we need to get home and talk.”
“I’m not passing up on going backstage, Troy.” Hallie breaks away from him and takes a few steps to the nearest security guard. Even Hallie is surprised how easy it was to flash the VIP badge and the next thing she knows, she’s being ushered behind the scenes by the burly security guard. She can hear Troy’s boots rushing to catch up to them and she ducks into the backstage dressing room just as Troy grabs her arm. She knows he plans on dragging her out of there, and she only hopes he won’t make a scene.
The sight that greets her turns her stomach. The smell of pot and beer mingle with sweat and sex to permeate the air with what she likes to think of as the smell of rock and roll. Half dressed men and women mingle around the room while a lone guitar player sits in the corner strumming out a sad melody. Memories Hallie would rather forget flood her brain and she’s just about to turn and leave when she hears her name being called from across the room.
“Hallie Boudreaux! What the hell are you doing here, girlfriend?”
Hallie looks up to see a woman she’d gotten to know pretty well when she had been working on the record deal for The Kings. Stacey is with the management company and pretty much has the same band management gig for tonight’s opening act that Hallie had for The Kings. She and Stacey had gotten to know each other pretty well when their groups had both been recording in Los Angeles for a few months together and she is a sight for sore eyes.
“Stacey! Wow, I’d hoped I’d see you tonight.” Stacey hugs Hallie tight.
“I’m so glad to see you. You have a lot of people worried about you, you know. You kind of dropped off the map there and none of us knew how to get in touch with you. Eddie has called a couple of times to see if I’d heard from you.”
“Oh God, don’t tell him you saw me. I don’t want him to know where I am.”
Stacey looks confused. “Well, if you say so.”
Troy has caught up to Hallie and has stepped up close. Stacey looks up to acknowledge him with a grin. “Well hello there. And who might you be?”
Before Troy can speak, Hallie cuts him off. “This is Troy Jackson.” She leaves it at that.
Troy adds on. “Hi, I’m Hallie’s boyfriend. So sorry to cut your visit short, but we were just heading out. It was nice to meet you.”
Hallie turns on him. “Really? I haven’t seen my friend in months and I get two minutes with her?” Even she can register she’s slurring her words. The stress and alcohol are catching up to her. She doesn’t feel well.
Troy lowers his lips to talk into her ear. “You are out of control. I don’t know what happened, but we are going home and we’re staying there until I get to the bottom of what’s going on. Let’s go. Say goodbye to your friend.”
She makes the mistake of looking into his eyes. She hates that he still has the power to crush her like a bug. He is so perfect and for such a short time, she had dared to dream she could be with a man like Troy, but it was just a dream. The protective dam of anger she had built up is crumbling and she can feel the tears about to come.
The raunchy sounds of the room fall away as Hallie begins to spiral down. She can hear Stacey asking if she’s okay as the tears begin flowing in earnest. The memory of a life-changing phone call combined with too much alcohol for her petite frame and there, standing in the middle of the chaos, Hallie starts to sob.
She vaguely feels Troy scooping her into his arms. She hates that he feels so safe. She knows it’s a mirage… a lie. She can hear Stacey asking Troy about where Hallie is living and how s
he can get in touch with her to check up on her later. Hallie can hear the worry in both of their voices as they talk about her. She hears Troy giving out her address in Corbin’s Bend.
She doesn’t remember much of their trip back to the car, but she knows Troy carried her the entire way. She expects him to be so furious that he’d be yelling at her. It would have been easier if he’d been angry. Instead, he keeps reassuring her with soft words like “It’s okay, baby. I have you now.” And “We’re almost there. I’ll take care of you.”
His comforting words only make her cry harder because she knows they’re all lies. He’s only going to take care of her until he gets what he wants and then he’s going to pack up his apartment and move back to DC and play house with Victoria.
Hallie loses some time during their trip because it seems like she’s barely closed her eyes and Troy is carrying her from the elevator to his apartment. He doesn’t stop to turn on any lights, but carries her straight to his bathroom, the room where the fateful call had come in. The memories of Victoria’s words finally have Hallie rushing for the toilet, losing every drop of alcohol and bite of fettuccine alfredo she’s consumed since the start of this disastrous evening.
Damn Troy. He stays there with her, holding back her hair. Wiping her face with a cool washcloth. Helping undress her and carry her tenderly to his bed. The bed they’d made love in just a few short hours before. She’d expected him to pounce on her to get one last romp out of her before he leaves town, but instead, he strips them both bare and crawls into bed behind her, spooning her in his arms until she gratefully blacks out.
Chapter Sixteen
Nothing is making any sense. Troy had held Hallie until she fell asleep, or more accurately passed out. He’d tried to get some sleep himself, considering he’s been working around the clock for the past few days, but after tossing and turning for a few hours, he’s decided he’s too wound up to sleep. He’d thrown on a pair of boxer briefs and has parked it on his couch in the dark, running the past week through his brain over and over, looking for the missed clues to bring order back to his life.
Twenty-four hours ago he couldn’t wait for this night to arrive. He had hoped to talk with Hallie about her plans to stay in Corbin’s Bend and let her know that he had put things into motion with his work to be able to move there too, as soon as possible. Now here he sits wondering if he even knows who Hallie really is.
She’d been an entirely different person tonight and as much as it scared him, he has to reluctantly admit this is exactly the kind of shit that happens when you rush into things too quickly. He’d let his emotions and the extraordinary circumstances in meeting Hallie outweigh his common sense. He should have known better than to fall in love so fast. There is so much they don’t know about each other yet.
If only it were that simple, but like it or not, Troy does love Hallie and he’s determined to get to the bottom of what had her spooked tonight. No one ever said it would be easy, but he wants her in his life. He wants to love her. To lead her. He wonders if his father ever had to face similar problems and if so, how he dealt with leading his family through stressful times. He wishes he could call his dad for advice.
With a groan, Troy heads back to the bedroom. He knows he’ll feel better just holding Hallie in his arms.
* * * * *
The sun is shining through the bedroom curtains when Troy stirs awake. He’d seen four on the alarm clock before finally passing out from sheer exhaustion. It only takes a few groggy seconds for the memories of their disastrous night to flood in on him. His head is pounding. He should be relieved that he’d managed to finally get some sleep, but instead of feeling rested, he feels lethargic.
Troy had rolled to his back in the night. Rolling to his side, he reaches out to pull Hallie close and finds the bed empty. In a shot, he is wide-awake, sitting up, scanning the room quickly and finding it empty. He shoots out of bed, rushing to the bathroom, hoping to find Hallie there in the shower, feeling hung-over and ashamed of her behavior the night before. Instead, he finds an empty room. A heavy dread sets in as he realizes her overnight bag is missing.
Troy rushes through the rest of the apartment, but is already sure of what he is going to find. Hallie is gone.
How could he have been so wrong about them and their future? How could he have read her so wrong on their ski trip? Troy tries her cell phone. No answer. He sends several text messages. No response.
He collapses onto the couch to take stock of his options.
The easiest thing would be to write the whole event called Hallie Boudreaux off as a terrible mistake and go back to bed. That idea doesn’t even finish before it’s rejected. Hallie is under his skin. There is no forgetting her.
He could let things cool down and head out to Corbin’s Bend in a few days over the weekend after they’d both cooled down and could hopefully talk things through more clearly. The fact that Troy is jumping out of his skin, however, tells him there is no chance in hell he’ll be able to concentrate on anything until he understands what’s happening with Hallie. He is angry, of course, but he can’t shake the feeling that there is something much deeper at work with her. Something that needs his understanding and patience.
So that leaves getting dressed and chasing after her, like a little puppy dog. It doesn’t sit well with him that she has him acting like an impulsive teenager, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. He can’t rest until he figures out what’s wrong and does all he can to make it better.
Troy heads in to his room to throw on jeans and a sweater and is in his SUV within ten minutes, on the road to Corbin’s Bend. He tries Hallie several more times with no luck and finally breaks down and calls his sister.
“Troy, you’re killing me here. It’s New Year’s Day. Just this one day of the year, couldn’t you sleep past eight in the morning?”
Troy hadn’t really looked at the clock, but it doesn’t matter. “Trace. Sorry, but I didn’t know who else to call. Something is really wrong with Hallie.”
He can hear his sister moving around on the other end of the phone and when she talks next, he can hear the concern in her voice. “What’s wrong with Hallie? Is she sick or something?”
“I don’t know. She was fine when she got here yesterday, but about an hour into her visit, she got really distant and acted angry. We did go to dinner and the concert, but we both had a terrible time. I tried to get her to open up and talk to me about what was bothering her, but nothing I said helped. She drank too much and I brought her home to sleep it off, but I woke up this morning and she’s already gone. I can’t believe she fucking snuck out without saying goodbye or leaving a note.”
He can hear the panic in his own voice and it pisses him off.
“Okay, stay calm. I’m sure it is nothing big. Hallie has had a lot of traumatic relationships in her life and we haven’t even come close to uncovering all of her triggers. I’m guessing something happened or was said that just triggered some negative memories and she’s having trouble working through the emotions. Nothing else seems to make sense. Try to think back. What were you talking about right before she acted differently?”
Troy blushes and is glad his sister can’t see him. “Honestly, things were great. She got here early and we made love. It was better than great. I went and took a shower first to get ready to go and then I let her freshen up in the bathroom and by the time she was done, she was like a changed person.”
“Troy, you didn’t spank her, did you? I don’t think she’s ready yet.”
“No, Trace. I didn’t spank her. At least not last night. We goofed around some at Copper Mountain, but nothing serious. I really thought she was doing fine with the idea of DD and honestly, she more than earned a punishment with her behavior last night, but I knew something deeper was going on that I needed to help her work through first.”
“That’s strange. Have you called Gina and Adam yet? Maybe they’ve heard from her.”
“I haven’t yet. I didn’t want to wor
ry them and honestly, I don’t want them to think things aren’t going well between us.”
“Sorry, but from what you’ve told me, you may not have a choice, Troy. They are going to figure something is up. Listen, let me get up and dressed. I’ll try to contact Hallie and see if she’ll come in to talk things through with me. Maybe I can get her to open up, but Troy…”
“Yes, Trace.”
“I’m going to see her as a patient. You are going to have to respect her privacy. No pumping me for information, do you hear me?”
“Trace, I just want her to be happy and safe.”
“Spoken like a true HoH. I love you, Troy. Hang in there and stay positive. I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for everything.”
* * * * *
Hallie has had to pull over twice to blow her nose and try to get her crying under control since leaving Denver. She’s fighting the urge to turn the SUV around and head back to Troy’s. Leaving had seemed like the thing to do when she woke up this morning to find he was sound asleep. Better to leave before he could have a chance to lie to her again. She feels like a coward by leaving without letting him know how bad he’s broken her heart, but she just doesn’t have the strength. Just like when she ran away from Gene and later Eddie, it’s easier to slink away than to confront the men who have hurt her in her life.
She’s trying to figure out what she’s going to tell Aunt Gina when she hears her phone ding with an incoming text message. Hallie has already ignored several calls and texts from Troy and now she sees it’s Traci calling. Just great. He’s dragging his sister into this mess. A wave of sadness hits Hallie as she realizes she’s never going to be able to go back for sessions with Traci. There’s no way she’ll be able to talk freely about Troy with his sister. Just seeing her will bring back too many memories. She hears the ding for another voicemail message.
