by Livia Grant
She hissed in pain, and realized that in her prone position, her skin was pulled taut, with no give anyway, and each swat he would give would be felt ten times stronger than it would if she were simply bent over his knee or across the bed, and even as dread pooled in her belly with the thought of what was to come, the thrill of pain sent the familiar throbbing sensation to her swollen bits.
Speaking of what was to come, she thought to herself, why hasn’t he done anything yet? What was he doing anyway, staring at all her exposed womanly glory? “Hey, dude, I can’t stand like this forever! All the blood is rushing to my head!”
“Hmmmm, I don’t think I should let you call me dude,” he told her laughingly. SMACK! “My name is Josiah,” he reminded her firmly just as her tender bottom crease exploded in pain.
Good Lord, the damage that man could do with just his hand! He smacked her again, across her sit spots, and she flew up to grip her knees, stopping short of standing altogether.
“Touch your toes.”
Her mouth went dry with arousal as she willingly obeyed. No sooner did her fingertips make contact with the tops of her feet, then the next barrage of punishing blows landed. One after another, a flurry of sharp, quick slaps upon the taut stinging skin where bottom met leg had her crying out in pain and struggling to keep position.
His hand was hard and paddle-like and she thought for a moment that the spoon or even a belt would be less punishing on her poor tenderized flesh. Josiah picked up the pace, each hard swat landing in a different spot than the one before, until she was sure every last inch of her poor behind was flaming red and mottled with bruises, and it was all she could do to stay in position. Just when she thought she would collapse, he stopped and held her, supporting her waist with one arm, allowing her to sag against him while he rubbed her aching backside with the other.
Her knees shook, weakened from holding herself at such an angle against the force of his hand for so long, but she remained bent over until he told her otherwise. When he finally let her up, she nearly fell, her legs were shaky and numb. Josiah, ever the gentleman, righted her skirt, pulling the soft cotton over her throbbing cheeks and gently carried her to the bed. She almost wept with relief, until he lay her out across the bed, legs still dangling off the side, and she heard the unmistakable sound of a belt being pulled from its loops.
She gasped when she felt her skirt rise once more, coming to rest at her waist. She started to sob even before the first whip of the thick leather struck her skin. It was too much. He wasn’t speaking during her spanking like he usually did, because it was maintenance. There was nothing to say. But without his words to focus on, the pain overwhelmed her.
She flew up from the bed, covering her bottom with both hands to protect herself from further chastisement. She couldn’t take it anymore. She turned, and sat upon the bed, blocking him from delivering any further spankings.
“Stop! Josiah, you have to stop!” She was almost in a panic, and she had no idea why. It truly made no sense. He had barely started spanking her, and she knew she had gotten much worse from him just the other night. But this felt off, and for whatever reason, she didn’t like it. Maybe it was the stress of knowing this was a temporary arrangement, or maybe it was the lack of connection or intimacy, or just the lack of words. All she knew was it felt wrong, and if she had a safe word, she would have used it.
“Lannea! Laney! What is it? What’s wrong? Talk to me!” Josiah was instantly at her side, the belt falling to the floor as he gathered her in his arms and tried to calm her.
He kept asking her what was wrong and urging her to talk to him, but she couldn’t get the words out to explain the torrents of emotion overwhelming her very core. Finally, he gave up trying to get answers and just held her through her sobs.
After a while, her sobs quieted to soft cries, her eyes closed, and she fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter Nine
I can’t do this.
Josiah had fallen asleep holding Laney last night after her unexpected breakdown, and when he awoke the next morning, she was gone, and all that was in her place was a short and cryptic note.
I can’t do this.
Groggy from sleep, Josiah read and reread the note until the meaning of its words sunk into his sleep addled brain.
“Shit!” he yelled, jumping out of bed, still fully clothed from the night before. A quick glance at the clock told him there was no time to get to the bottom of this either. He had to be at work in fifteen minutes.
He replayed the events of the night before in his head as he rushed to get ready. A five minute shower— thoughts of Laney picking a fight with him during dinner. Brush his teeth— remembering how adorably sweet she looked when she apologized for freaking out on him. Run a comb through his hair— visions of her standing in the corner of his room knowing that she was bare beneath her skirt. Even as he put on his uniform and rushed to his motorcycle, she was on his mind. Her standing before him, bent over in front of him, hands on her toes, yelling at him to begin already. The pool of arousal on her pink mound. The sound of leather on her skin. Her crying for him to stop. Him begging her to talk to him, to tell him what was wrong. Sobbing in his arms until she fell asleep, overwrought and exhausted.
He somehow made it to work in record time with a few minutes to spare. He called Laney’s phone, but it went straight to voicemail. Not knowing what else to do at the moment, he called Matt.
* * * * *
Laney made it to work on time, and threw herself into preparing for the busy weekend. Anything she could do to take her mind of Josiah and the hasty note she had written him this morning. Truthfully, she didn’t really know why she had done that, or if it had been the right thing to do. Ever since she had woken up to the sunlight streaming into Josiah’s cozy loft bedroom, and found herself curled up against his chest, she had been at war with herself. She really liked Josiah, and every minute she was with him, she found herself wanting more. He was much more dominant than he had seemed to her at first, but in some ways, he was still so innocent. It was the innocent part that bothered her, and she knew it shouldn’t. Before Corbin’s Bend all she knew of spanking was what she had with Mac. Plain straight up spanking. No muss, no fuss. That’s what Josiah was used to too, and she should be okay with that. But after Mac, she had had an awakening. It only took a little bit of research for her to learn that spanking could be a whole lot more than hand meets butt. There were paddles and spoons, and pervertable implements, and corner time, and plugs and ginger. And heaven help her, she wanted to experience it all. As crazy as it seemed, and as much as she was sure she might come to regret it, she wanted a man who could show her every hot bit of it. And she was completely sure that Josiah was not that man. That was the problem. Which was just as insane as her wanting the things she wanted. None of it should bother her at all. Her emotions shouldn’t even be a part of this. All her and Josiah had was a platonic arrangement like she had had with Mac. She shouldn’t be comparing him to Mac, or any other man for that matter. But no matter how many times she told herself that, she couldn’t seem to stop. If she could just shut up her crazy inner spanko voice and tell it to stop wanting the things it wanted, and just be happy with what it had for the moment, everything would be fine. Platonic or not, she had a hot, sexy, dominant alpha male cop with a smile that could melt hearts and hands that could set butts on fire. And she liked him, even though she didn’t want to, and even if he couldn’t give her what she really wanted. She was falling crazy head over heels in love with him. That was the real problem. She wasn’t sure if she had broken it off because she really wanted to, and it was the right thing to do, or because waking up in his arms had felt so perfectly amazing, and she had panicked knowing it could never be that easy or right between them. If she was really honest with herself, she suspected it was the latter, rather than the former, but what was done was done, and it was probably for the best.
It was time for her to grow up, put her big girl panties on and take respon
sibility for herself. The thought that she couldn’t manage her life without someone taking her in hand and spanking her on a regular basis seemed ridiculous in the light of day. She momentarily wondered if maybe Corbin’s Bend had worn off on her in a way that was not too positive. It was a possibility that being constantly surrounded by happy, well-adjusted and spanked women was taking its toll on her self-esteem, and making each and every one of her many shortcomings feel like something she couldn’t handle on her own. She wanted what they had, and she had become so focused on getting it, that she had lost faith in her ability to manage her own life.
Laney knew she wanted a domestic discipline lifestyle someday, and that staying in Corbin’s Bend was the best way to get that, and nurture it in a safe and judgment free environment, but she could see now that she had made it too important in her life, and become so inherently desperate for it, that she had lost herself. No more, she vowed. Someday, she would find her mystery man, and she would have the kind of marriage she had dreamed of, with mutual love and respect, and yes, lots of spankings. But when she found it, she wasn’t going to let it define her. She didn’t want to be the kind of woman who couldn’t manage her own life without someone telling her how to do it. She was better than that. From here on out, she vowed to stop waiting for someone to come around and “fix” her, she was going to do it her damn self!
With renewed vigor, she threw herself into prepping her ingredients for the weekend lunch rush, working in silence until the door on the bell jingled signaling the first customer of the day. She wiped her hands on her apron, gave her station a once over to make sure she was ready, and walked out to the front.
“Oh, it’s you!” she gasped, surprised to see Julie waiting. “What are you doing here?”
She had a feeling she knew exactly why her mentor had come to see her this morning, and it had nothing to do with sushi. Julie was not a fan.
“Gee thanks,” her friend replied sarcastically. “Love you too.”
Laney frowned. “You know what I meant.”
Julie smiled sadly. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Well, I tried to call earlier but your phone was off.” Julie hesitated. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I heard you’ve had a pretty interesting week.”
Laney sighed. She knew she would end up telling Julie everything eventually, but she just wasn’t ready yet. It was all still too fresh and raw in her mind. Luckily, the door jingled again, and Brent came in with the entire housing board behind him, as well as a couple she didn’t recognize. Potential residents, maybe? Saved by the bell, she thought, shooting her friend an apologetic smile. “Sorry, can’t talk right now! Duty calls!”
Julie shot her a look that told her she wouldn’t be put off that easily, but she moved out of the way so Laney could help Brent. Luckily, Brent was feeling chatty, and his order was huge, and Julie left, seeing that she would be busy for a while.
“I’ll see you Monday!” Julie called over her shoulder as she walked out the door. Laney just smiled. Maybe by Monday she would be ready to talk about it. Maybe. Glad for the distraction of work, she turned her attention back to Brent.
A long six hours later, she closed up shop and went home for the day. It had been a crazy day at work, and she was thankful for a quiet night at home. It had been a while since she had had one of those, and after her emotionally draining week, she was looking forward to a glass of wine and a hot bubble bath. Pulling into the driveway of the home she shared with Beau and Ginger, she stopped to get the mail. Catalog, credit card offer, bank statement, nothing exciting. She ripped the credit card offer in half and threw it away, and stuck the bank statement in her pocket, telling herself she would look at it later. Even as she said it, she knew it would never happen. She had a stockpile of unopened bank statements in her room.
That was the old Laney, she reminded herself aloud. The new Laney is responsible for herself, and mindful of things like bank statements and schedules.
The new Laney sounds boring.
The new Laney should stop talking to herself as well. She clucked her tongue, laughing at herself. All in good time. One didn’t change overnight.
Still, she really ought to at least open the bank statement. It really was the responsible thing to do, and just opening it didn’t mean she needed to balance it or double check it or anything tonight, but she could at least look at it. That would be a step in the right direction.
Hesitating, she pulled her phone from her pocket first, and turned it on. Six messages and seventeen texts. She skipped over the voicemails, and skipped straight to the texts. Three were from Julie, two from Ginger, one was from Terri, and the other eleven were from Josiah. She skimmed it enough to see that it was actually one really long text and not eleven separate texts. That was good. She sighed and set the phone down on the dresser. She would read it later.
Biting her lip, she ripped open the bank statement, and unfolded the paper, intending to only give it a cursory once-over, just so she could say she had. She quickly glanced at the numbers listed for her accounts, and set it down beside her phone, before doing a double take and snatching it back up. It had taken a moment for the numbers to register but once they had, she had to look again. Surely, it couldn’t be right!
Holding it in her hand, she gaped at it, turning it over to scrutinize it for errors and found none. She stood in shock for several minutes staring at it, before she let herself believe it was indeed correct. According to this sheet of paper, all her scrimping and penny pinching had paid off, and she now had enough money to purchase half of The Ginger Paddle, and become an actual partner! In fact, she had more than enough, quite a bit more. Her heart sank and she bit her finger in angst as she realized she had probably had enough for quite some time.
She dropped the statement on the floor, and doubled over, laughing hysterically. She never had been good at math, and this was proof. If she hadn’t had a panic attack last night, and an epiphany this morning, she would have set this in a pile with all the others, and gone on for several months or more in the same scrimping, penny pinching manner, always thinking she was nowhere near close to having enough money, when according to this, she had had it all along!
With a whoop of joy, Lannea bounded down the stairs in search of Ginger, and found her and Beau at the dining table enjoying a glass of wine. Well, Beau was having wine anyway, Ginger had a wine glass full of what looked to be sparkling cider. They were smiling like loons, with their heads pressed together, and they seemed to be celebrating something.
Laney paused, tilting her head as she took in the sweet picture they made. “Hey, guys. What’s up? You look…happy.”
Beau beamed at her. “We had our ultrasound today!” He plucked a piece of paper from his wallet, and handed it to her. “It’s a girl!”
Laney took the paper from him, and admired it, appropriately. Truthfully, she had no idea what she was looking at, but it was exciting nonetheless.
“A girl!” she cried ecstatically. “That’s amazing news, truly. I’m so happy for you two.”
She sat opposite them at the table, and Beau jumped up to pour her a glass of wine, so she could get in on the celebration.
He rejoined them at the table, handing her a glass, and stuck the ultrasound picture back in his wallet for safekeeping.
“How was business this afternoon?” Ginger asked her. “Did it mellow out any?”
“Not really,” Laney mused. She didn’t want to distract from Ginger’s amazing news, but her cousin had just given her the perfect opening. “Actually, it was pretty crazy, and that’s actually what I came down here to talk to you about.
“Oh?” Ginger became tense all of a sudden, surely expecting the worst.
“It’s nothing bad. I was just thinking. Business is going good, great actually, and the community is growing every day, and you’re pregnant, and then you’re going to be busy with your sweet girl.”
Ginger nodded, and Laney took a deep breath, gathering her courage to continue.
&nb
sp; “You have a lot on your plate, and who knows what’s going to happen once the baby gets here.” Ginger gave her a shrewd look, and Laney plowed forward, the words pouring out fast, before she lost nerve. “I really think it’s time we get the ball rolling and make our partnership official.”
Beau seemed open to the conversation, but as she had anticipated, Ginger immediately tried to shut her down.
“Laney, I understand where you’re coming from, and I appreciate the thought, but we agreed to wait, until you could purchase half of the business, and we agreed on a price. I know you’re working really hard to save, but until you actually have the money, I’m sorry, I’m just not comfortable with moving forward.”
“I have the money!” Laney exclaimed, withdrawing the statement from where she had hidden it in her back pocket and nearly slamming it down on the table in front of her cousin.
“You do? That’s great!” Beau exclaimed happily, pulling the paper over so he could get a peek.
Ginger barely glanced at it.
“Oh, you do? Well, I mean, it actually cost a little bit more than we originally anticipated to get it up and running. There were fees, and licenses, and you know, the cost of running it up until now.”
Laney sighed. She had known this wouldn’t be easy, and she had even anticipated this particular tactic.
“Fine, so we re-negotiate the price to cover those things, I still have the money, and then some, so add whatever you think is fair. I’m not worried about it. I can cover it.”
Her cousin grimaced, no doubt looking for a new tactic.
Beau, however, was having none of it. As soon as Ginger opened her mouth to argue. He interrupted, “Ginger. No. We’ve talked about this remember,” he said pointedly. Laney was taken aback at the warning tone in his voice. Was he sticking up for her?
