No.
Our crimes.
There was no such thing as a free pass. Even if there was, I didn’t deserve one.
“Okay,” I whispered, a chastised student expecting her teacher to rap her knuckles for failing.
He ended the call, and I stood there with the phone pressed to my ear, wishing I had someone else to dial, someone else to share this fear, but there was no one to smooth my hair and tell me it would be okay. Besides, anyone who tried would be lying.
A knock on the door startled me into dropping my cell, spoiling my plan to stew alone in the dark.
“I brought food,” Ford said through the door. “Heard you had a rough day.”
Ford wasn’t the last person I wanted to see, but I didn’t feel up to socializing.
“I did.” I held my ground. “I’m going to shower it off.”
“Can we not talk through the door?”
Rubbing grimy eyes with dirty fingertips, I caved for the single reason entertaining a guest would force me to stay awake. I wasn’t drowsy, but sleep was sneaky. When a person told you not to doze, that was the instant your body would decide a nap was a great idea, the best one ever.
Trudging over, I flung open the door then sagged against it. “Fine.”
Lips kicking up in a smile, he didn’t dawdle in the hall. “With an invitation like that, how can I refuse?”
“I got home maybe a half hour ago.” I goggled at the plastic bags strung down his arms. “When did you have time to order all this?”
“Confession.” He aimed straight for the dining table built for two. “Security had a staff meeting scheduled for tonight.”
I prompted him when he got distracted during his search for condiments in my fridge. “Okay?”
“This was my week to provide refreshments, so I picked up a few things on my way in.” The hot sauce in his hand earned me a frown, too mild for his palate, but I preferred not to blister my taste buds while eating. “The meeting got cancelled after Midas stomped off in a snit.” He slanted me a pointed glance. “I heard about the possible break-in from Hank, so I thought I would come see how you’re doing.”
The drop in my gut upon learning Hank, not Midas, had prompted this visit made me scowl. “What did he tell you?”
“That you left sometime during the day without locking up behind yourself, which isn’t like you, and that you came home wearing one of the shirts Midas left out in the hall for the twins’ laundry service.”
The twins, sons of one of the pack enforcers, had absconded with the rolling laundry cart Bishop acquired for us to smuggle Snowball, in gwyllgi form, into the Faraday. They used it to launch their own laundry service for single, busy, or just plain lazy gwyllgi in the building.
That explained how Ambrose got ahold of Midas’s shirt when Midas still lived at the den with the alpha. Linus informed me early on that Midas kept a suite at the Faraday, the warning meant to help me avoid him, but as far as I could tell, it was used for showers and changes of clothes. That was about it. The odds of bumping into Midas in the elevator were slim to none, though he often hung out in the lobby with the other enforcers.
“Linus is on the way.” I might as well tell Ford since everyone would note his arrival. “He’ll sort it out.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?” I followed him into my microkitchen. “You’re not going to ask more questions?”
“I’m not going to bully you when you obviously have no answers for me or yourself, no.”
Unlike Midas, Ford plotted a collision course with me daily. A quick hello, a wink, a smile, a movie date. Or, like now, showing up on my doorstep with food, which was a gwyllgi love language that spoke to every degree of friendship right on up to matehood.
I hoped he understood I wanted to rank at the lower end of that scale.
“I have tea downstairs, about six gallons in jugs. You interested?” He spread out the food. “I couldn’t carry it all, but I can pop down and grab one if you’re feeling sweet.”
A reluctant smile touched my lips, his easygoing nature too hard to resist. “Stop cheering me up.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He gathered plates, cups, and utensils, totally at home in my kitchen. “I’ll just sit here and let you scowl at me.” He whipped his head toward me, caught my slip, and grinned even wider. “You almost laughed. I saw it. You’re not holding up your end of the deal.”
“You’re obnoxious.”
“Momma says the same.” He pulled out my chair and waited for me to plop down in it. “Guess I’ll have to find a girl who loves me, warts and all.”
“You won’t have to look hard.” I sat and let him play the gentleman. “You’re a good guy.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you friend zone me with good guy.”
After investigating the mountain of boxed foods, I stabbed a riblet with my fork. “I have no zones.”
“And yet, here I am.” He hung his head, black hair sliding over his cheekbones. “Sidelined.”
A quiet knock flooded my palms with sweat, and I lost my grip on the silverware. The fork went sailing, taking the meat with it, and both hit the floor with a saucy clatter. “He can’t be here yet.”
Mouth tight as he studied the spatter, Ford ripped his attention away from the carnage. “Linus?”
“On the way.” I wiped damp hands on the leggings. “He’s got a three-hour drive ahead of him.”
Scraping his chair back, Ford came halfway out of his seat. “Want me to handle it?”
If only. “I got it.”
The next Potentate of Atlanta couldn’t afford to lean on anyone or any one faction.
Aware I was prolonging the inevitable, I rolled up my sleeves as I shuffled across the room, gathering my courage before checking the peephole. Hard aquamarine eyes stared back, and I gritted my teeth before opening the door. “Back again?”
Midas stood in the hall, a frown pinching his forehead. “Ford here?”
More business. Of course. Nothing to do with me.
“Yeah.” I deflated on the spot. “Come on in.”
“What’s up?” Ford crammed a square of cornbread in his mouth. “I would invite you to join us, but it’s Lee’s place.”
“You’re welcome to stay if you want.” I plopped back down in the only other chair at the table, making it plain I didn’t care if Midas stayed or left. “There’s plenty.”
“That’s why I’m here. The others smelled food and wondered where it went.”
“I bought it.” Ford bit into a hand-cut French fry. “No meeting, no food.”
Midas lowered his brows but said nothing.
“All right, all right.” Ford shoved a few items he had already sampled into bags then thrust it at him. “I’ll share.”
“You’re not coming?” Midas accepted the food, his fingers crinkling the plastic. “I’m about to assign posts.”
“I’ll be down soon.” Ford kept his seat, his posture loose, but he shared a meaningful glance with Midas. “It’s not like we don’t both know what’s on my agenda.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I cut in, “if that’s what you’re discussing over my head.”
Midas slanted his gaze toward me then snarled when I didn’t glance away. “This is pack business.”
“This is my apartment.”
Pointing a damning finger at me, he snapped, “That’s my shirt.”
“You want it?” I yanked it over my head, fighting with my sports bra, and hurled it at his face. “Take it.”
The ceiling became the most interesting thing in the room, maybe even the world, to Ford.
Midas, growl pumping through his chest, kept his eyes locked with mine.
“What?” I threw up my hands. “Haven’t you ever seen a bra?” I popped the strap. “I run dressed exactly like this.” Sports bra, leggings, and sneakers. “I’m totally decent.”
Midas stomped over to my armoire, which was hidden behind a fabric curtain, and crushed an innocent
tee from the top drawer in his fist. He pitched it at me with an aim that would leave Braves scouts salivating, and I let it hit me in the face and fall to the floor.
“Put it on,” he barked. “Now.”
“My house.” I folded my arms over my chest, not covering my breasts, plumping them. “My rules.”
A low snarl worked free of his throat as he closed the distance between us. He set the food down with a thump and scooped up the shirt. Without breaking eye contact with me, he yanked it over my head and down to my hips, leaving the armholes empty.
“Where have you been?” I bit the inside of my cheek until it stung. “Forget I asked.” I stormed off to the bathroom, the only space in the whole apartment with a door I could slam in his face, but the stupid shirt made the knob slick when I reached for it, and he caught me before I finished my dramatic exit. “Go away.”
The heat from Midas’s body radiated from his chest into my back, and given how I had spent my day, I would have given anything to lean into his strength and take whatever comfort he would give. But that was the fear talking.
I was a danger to him, to his pack, and to myself. He would kill me if I slipped, the same as Linus, and they would be right to do it. When the time came, I only hoped they made it quick.
“I’m out, Lee,” Ford called, his chair legs scraping across the tile. “See you down there, Midas.”
The door closed, shutting us in together, but Midas didn’t budge and neither did I.
“I have duties that require me to stay at the den for long stretches of time.”
Wrestling with my shirt, I shoved my arms through the holes. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Why did you ask?”
I’m scared. No, I’m terrified. The monster in me slipped his leash. Or not? I don’t know. The last time, he killed people. I killed people. I can’t go there again. I won’t. I’ll beg Linus to put me down before that happens and I undo all the good I’ve done. Assuming I get a say. He hunted me once before, and it was close, so close. And I have no idea why I think you’re the guy with enough superglue to hold me together when you’re as broken as me.
“No reason.” I pressed my palm against the door in front of me. “I haven’t seen you around is all.”
“I haven’t been around to be seen.” He placed his hand beside mine, his chest all but touching my back. Cedar and amber filled my nose, my head, and dizzied me. “You’ve got my number if you needed me.”
“Need is a strong word.”
“Yes.” His warm breath hit my nape. “It is.”
“Midas?”
“I have to go.” He withdrew, taking his heat with him. “The others are expecting me.”
“Okay.” I twitched my pinky over enough to touch the spot where his hand had been. “Bye.”
Heavy footsteps beat a path to the door, and he left without saying another word. Drained, I returned to the table, slumped into my chair, and picked up an apple cinnamon cruller, prepared to eat my feelings while I waited for Linus.
Two
The door slammed on Midas’s heels with the force of a hammer driving nails through the soles of his boots. It came as no surprise that Ford hadn’t gone any-damn-where, but when confronted with his friend, Midas required all his self-control not to bare his teeth.
“Well?” Ford kept cramming fries in his mouth. “Better or worse?”
Jaw clenched to hold in a growl, Midas ground out the words. “What do you think?”
For three weeks he had avoided the Faraday, and for three weeks he hadn’t stopped thinking about her.
“That you’re in trouble.” Ford jerked his chin at the door over Midas’s shoulder. “I almost feel sorry for you.”
Avoiding Hadley kept him from touching her, which kept him from marking her, which kept him from murdering packmates who noticed she was a fierce beauty with a fire raging in her that drew him like an idiot moth destined to let her burn it to ashes.
“Don’t…” Midas unclenched his jaw. “Don’t look at her.”
“It’s not like I have X-ray vision. There are two inches of oak between us and her.” He plucked out a rib and started gnawing. “I don’t see anything but wood.” Sauce smeared his mouth like coagulating blood. “Girl works out, though. Did you see her abs?”
Midas wasn’t sure how he ended up with his hands wrapped around Ford’s throat, but that wasn’t half as troubling as the fact his fingers seized up, tightening instead of loosening.
“Fair is fair,” Ford wheezed. “You don’t want her.”
Want? No. Want meant you might like to have something. It was a casual desire, an impulse beaten with self-control. He didn’t want her. He barely knew her. But the red-hot sizzle of his temper warned him he might need her, and that was more dangerous. Better for them all if Ford won her over with his easy charm.
If Midas didn’t kill him for trying first.
And she didn’t kill them both for Midas’s role in fostering their friendship.
“I’m sorry.” Digit by digit, finger by finger, he forced his hand to relax and stepped back. “I should go.”
Tuck tail and run.
Back to the den, to the woods, to his thinking place. That’s what he meant but would never say, not even to the closest thing he had to a best friend since Lethe relocated. Betas didn’t flee, they gave chase.
“It’s hormonal.” Ford massaged his reddened throat. “In high school, I got territorial over a scrunchie my cheerleader girlfriend dropped on the field during a game. This asshole football star picked it up to hand it back, and I tackled him so hard the coach offered me a place on the team on the spot.”
“The other parents were okay with that?”
“Football is king in Texas.” He shrugged. “They don’t much care which player wears the crown as long as their team isn’t dethroned from the number one ranking.”
Midas hated asking, but there was nothing for it. “You got over it?”
“Oh yeah.” He lifted the rib back to his mouth. “She moved west for college, and I came east. A couple thousand miles of breathing room helped sand off the rough edges of the breakup.”
Midas considered his options but came up empty. “I don’t have a couple thousand miles.”
“I know.” Lips greasy, Ford grinned. “Sucks to be you.”
“Take the food down to the break room,” he said, turning to go, “if there’s any left.”
After gathering the remaining bags, Ford met him at the elevator. “Where you headed?”
“I’m going for a run.” Fresh air cleansed his thoughts, dirt beneath his paws anchored his soul, and right now, he could use all the help he could get. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
Ford kept his expression bland, but his eyes—they glittered like diamonds. “What about the break-in?”
“There was no break-in.” Midas clipped his words short. “She forgot to close her door.”
The rest she hadn’t trusted him with, not that he had given her a chance to fill him in on what spiked her scent with fear. The urge to comfort her forced him to escape before he marked her again like a teenager with his first crush.
“Mmm-hmm.” Ford kept staring ahead, which made defying his beta easier. “Potentates, right? They’re not security conscious at all. I bet she posts shots of her credit cards on social media too. Poor thing. All beauty and no—”
“Ford,” Midas said lightly. “Do you want to die?”
Friend he might be, and loyal to a fault, but Ford was also half the reason Midas struggled against the urge to stamp his mark on Hadley at every opportunity.
“Momma would kill me.” He beat Midas out of the car when it hit bottom. “She figures I have the best chance of bringing home a mate and giving her grandkids.”
The air punched from Midas’s lungs, a direct hit without Ford laying a finger on him. The lack of oxygen dimmed his higher reasoning and saved Ford’s mouth from tasting Midas’s knuckles, but his fists clenched until his hands went
numb.
“Blonde ones.” Ford cackled, breaking into a jog. “With the prettiest hazel eyes I ever did see.”
White crowded Midas’s vision, his temper crackling hotter than a live wire, but he kept his head this time and didn’t wrap his hands around Ford’s throat, even if they itched to resume strangling him. His friend’s antics had earned them too much attention for Midas to react. Control was key for gwyllgi, for any predatory species, and until he figured out what was wrong with him, he had to keep a cool head. As precarious as his position was within the pack, he couldn’t afford to topple himself off the platform he was building brick by brick to earn his people’s trust.
Eager to be on his way, he entered the break room, called out assignments, then made his escape.
“Midas?”
A sigh threatened to hiss through his teeth, but he reined in the impulse and kept walking. “Liesl.”
“I wanted to let you know you’re off the hook for Saturday.”
“What?” His punishing stride ground to a halt, and he turned to face her. “You’re cancelling?”
Liesl was short, lean, and straightforward. He liked the last part best.
“Jacob asked me out.” Pink flushed her cheeks. “Finally.” She twirled in place. “It took him six months to notice me and another four to work up the nerve to invite me to a play at the Fox.” Coming down off her high, she gave him a lopsided smile. “You’re good at hiding your relief, but you’re not that good. You didn’t want to go out with me any more than I wanted to go out with you.”
Manners prevented him from confirming or denying what they both knew to be true.
“I just wanted to give you a heads-up.” Her joyful vibration dimmed. “I can cancel, right?”
“You’re not required to date me.”
“I didn’t mean…” She bit her bottom lip. “The alpha—”
“Go on your date.” Midas suppressed a groan at his mother’s matchmaking attempts. “I’ll take the blame.”
It was the least he could do for Liesl sparing him hours of strained silence and disappointed hopes.
“You’re the best.” The spring in her step returned. “Thank you.”
Pack of Lies Page 2
