by Amanda Heath
“Gross dude, if we are going to be friends no gooey shit about my sister.” He makes a disgusted face and starts putting up his art supplies.
“We are going to be friends are we?” I ask with one eyebrow raised.
“Yes asshole we are going to be friends. For one thing because I have to keep an eye on you and my sister and another you’re pretty cool for a football player.” He says that like I’m supposed to know what he means.
“Yeah your pretty cool for a dude who paints I guess.” I laugh at him when he scowls. I guess we are going to be friends since it seems easier to goof off with him then Jaden.
“I just meant that I have met some pretty stuck up jocks who wouldn’t give us lowly people the time of day and here you are having an honest open conversation with me. Plus you talk about my sister like she a goddess or something.” He smirks and goes to wash his hands in the sink in the far corner.
“She is a goddess and I wouldn’t ever treat her as anything other. But you’re the one who needs to stop treating Grace like a hooker and quit sneaking around behind your brothers back.”
“Your one to talk man. Jaden has no clue about you and Teagan. So I would keep your mouth shut if you want me to keep mine. He won’t be so easy going about you two being together as I am.”
I start to say something else but Jaden decided right then to walk into the room. “What the hell are you doing in here with this jackass?” He growls right inside the door.
“I couldn’t find anyone else in this whole house to hang out with but Cade who wasn’t doing anything interesting to begin with.” I say winking at Jaden.
“Yes I was. Painting is the most interesting thing in the world.” He scoffs.
“Yeah whatever man lets go watch a stupid movie or something.” Jaden says to me.
“Sure. Caden you coming?” I ask to the shock of both of them.
“Yeah man I’ll be up in a minute.” He continues to wash his hands.
I walk out behind Jaden and think damn what the hell kind of mess did I got myself into now. Keeping two secrets from Jaden might kill me. It was hard enough to keep one. I don’t know what I’ll do because he needs to know about both of them. It’s not fair to the poor guy to learn your sister is dating your best friend or that your girlfriend might be sleeping with your twin brother.
Chapter 18
Teagan
“Huh?” I say to Declan who is sitting at the end of my bed. I’m laying down reading a really great book on my kindle.
“What’s with you this week? You’ve been kind of out of it.” He places his hand on my forehead as if to check for a fever.
“I’m fine Declan. I’m reading a great book so I didn’t hear you say anything. Sorry.” I say scowling at his parenting.
“It’s not just today Teagan. You’ve been like this for the past week. Are the dreams missing with you while your awake?” he asks me with concern written all over his face.
“No I don’t even remember them after I wake up. I don’t know I guess I’m just tired all the time. I must be coming down with the flu.” That’s just what I need. To get sick.
“Maybe. You want me to get you some hot tea? That might help.” He looks hopeful at the thought of making me feel better. I don’t blame him I have been a huge bitch lately.
“Sure.” I tell him just to get him to stop mothering me for a little bit.
“Great I’ll be back in a minute.” And he’s rushing out my door.
Its Christmas break, the last couple of days in fact. Christmas and New years has come and gone. We, being the twins, Marcus, Grace, Declan and me, have holed up at my parents for the month off. It’s been loads of fun and I’m dreading going back to school come next week. I don’t get to see Declan every day and that truly sucks. We have been practically glued at the hip since we got here. Well when I didn’t have to fight Jaden and Caden for his attention. Those two are still at odds with each other and them both being friends with Declan has widen the gap between them. And before you ask, Jaden still doesn’t know. We want to tell him but how do you tell your beloved brother that you’ve been dating his best friend for months? It would have been okay had we told him right off the bat but we didn’t and now it’s too late.
I’ve also discovered that I’m a total horn dog. I find myself jumping Declan’s bones whenever I can. He doesn’t seem to mind. Sometimes he even starts it which is always fun. I’ve found myself more then once pushed up against a wall with him pushing into me from behind. I love it. Other times we take it slow while he whispers sweet words in my ears leaving me with shivers and goose flesh. Before you start to think that’s all, we do don’t. We still talk, hangout and go on dates. I’ve learned even more about him that I didn’t know. For example he can’t stand clutter. He’s a neat freak to the extreme. I’ve been staying at his house a lot and I like to throw my clothes on the floor and leave them. After about a week of this he got so mad he turned bright red and yelled at me for the first time ever.
“Pick up your fucking shit Teagan. I’m not your god damn maid!” he screamed at me from where he was standing on his side of the bed.
“Jesus Christ it’s just a few shirts and pants Declan. No need to throw a bitch fit.” I screamed back at him from my side of the bed.
“There is a need. I can’t stand the mess you keep leaving around. Didn’t anybody teach you how to pick up after yourself?” he sneered at me.
“Yes I just choose not too since I’m freaking lazy!” my temper was on full force and I was on the verge of slapping his beautiful face.
“There’s a difference between lazy and spoiled. You sweetheart are spoiled! And I can’t stand it!” he was huffing and puffing about to blow the house down.
“Excuse me? I’m not spoiled just because my parents are rich doesn’t mean I got spoiled. I still had to do things on my own! I didn’t have everything handed down to me like you did!” I was clenching my hands open and closed. If he pushed me anymore I was going to hit him.
“I might have had everything bought for me by my father who is never around but that’s because he didn’t feel the need to actually take care of us emotional. You wouldn’t know that because you a spoiled rotten little bitch.” He said it so calmly and before I knew it I was over the bed slapping his face with an open palm.
We looked stunned at each other and then he was climbing over the bed to me grabbing my head in a tight lock and harshly kissing me. Shoving his tongue down my throat in a bruising kiss and I relished every minute it. Didn’t take long before we were tearing each other’s clothes off. Our love making was quick fast and almost brutal and immediately after we both said sorry at the same time. It didn’t take long for us at all to forgive each other for the arguments. I guess it wasn’t really a big deal to be fighting about anyway.
I’m thrown out of my thoughts by a sharp pain in my stomach. Its hurts so freaking bad. The waves of pain start out slow coming and going but they end up becoming one big excruciating pain. Tears are falling out of my eyes in silent sobs. I can’t talk through it, the pain is so bad. I’m freaking out and my breathing becomes labored and before I know it I’m in a full blown panic attack. This only makes the pain worse and before long I’m falling into the black abyss on my bedroom floor.
Declan
I hope Teagan isn’t getting sick. I don’t think I could stand to see her not feel good. I’ve been going through hell the past week with the dreams. I’ve been sneaking into her room at night after everyone goes to bed. She shocks herself awake and says she can’t even remember what they are about. There are a least two a night. It’s starting to concern me a great deal. I’m hoping this cup of tea will help. I made it just the way she likes it with lots of cream and sugar.
As I open the door to room the sound of the cup hitting the floor has to be louder in my head then it really is. It sounds like a car hitting another car and landing in a body of water. My heart is beating in overtime and I can’t seem to catch my breath. She is on the fl
oor pale as a ghost, well paler then she normal is. Her wild black hair fanned out around her head. That’s not what scared me the most. It’s the blood staining her white yoga pants. There can’t be that much blood. Why is there so much blood?
I realize I’m just standing in the doorway looking at her and I jump into action. I take the few steps to her gently picking her up. “Help anybody help!” I scream at the top of my lungs. I put my ear to her face and realize she isn’t dead like I first thought though her breathing is faint.
Caden runs into the room and freezes at the doorway seeing the blood. “What the fuck happened?” he looks like he is about to beat me to a pulp.
“I don’t know. I went down stairs to get her a cup of tea. She said she wasn’t feeling good. We thought it might have been a cold or the flu. When I got back this is how I found her.” I tell him quick as I can so I don’t get clocked in the face.
“Come on let’s get her to the hospital. We can make it faster than the ambulance can get here.” He doesn’t wait for me just heads on out the door.
The three of us are the only ones home and I’m glad he is here because there’s no way I could drive right now. I hurry after him but go as gently as I can so I don’t hurt Teagan anymore then she is.
By the time I have made it out the front door Cade already has his mustang pulled out on to the street. He’s standing there with the door open so I quickly and gently as possible lay her in the back seat. I left her head up and sit down placing her head in my lap.
It seems like it takes hours to get to the hospital but its only twenty minutes. Cade called Mr. and Mrs. Harper on the way there. All I can think in my head is please don’t die please don’t die. I say it like a chant but I mean it like a prayer.
*****
Teagan has been in the back for an hour. By this time everyone in her family is here, well except Forest but he lives an hour away so he should be here any minute. I hate to say it but I’m a huge sissy and have been crying my damn eyes out for most of the hour.
Finally a doctor comes out and we all stand up in the waiting room. “Which one of you is Mr. Sage?” the pepper haired doctor asks looking us over.
“I am.” I say as I walk towards him.
“Ms. Harper wants to see you first.” He says to me. “Then we can let the rest of you back one at a time.” He says to everyone else.
“Why the fuck does she want to see Declan first?” Jaden asks.
No one has the heart to tell him why she wants to see me first. He looks around at all of his family and they don’t meet his eyes. When he finally makes it back to me I meet his gaze. “Because I love her.” And then I follow the doctor down the hall.
After walking down the too white hall and into a room marked ‘Emergency 1’ there she is. She isn’t hooked up to an IV and I feel a since of relief. It’s quickly cut short by the heart stopping sobs coming from her tiny body. Her eyes are red and puff and she looks so lost. I walk over to the bed and take her hand. “What’s wrong baby?”
She takes her hand out of mine rejecting me. My breathing starts to go irregular. “Declan I had a miscarriage.” She tells me through her sobs.
I feel like the world tilted on its axis. How can that be? “How is that possible?”
“Well do you remember that first time, when you forgot a condom?” I nod. “Well apparently you knocked me up. The doctor says that it’s normal for women to miscarriage the first pregnancy.” She starts sobbing hard and I reach for her but she flinches away.
“Why won’t you let me hold you?” I ask her stunned she would pull away from me.
“Because I want nothing to do with you anymore. Do you hear me? I can’t take this with you anymore. Look at me I’m in the hospital bleeding away a child I didn’t know I was carrying. That’s too much for me. I can’t be with you; I can’t even look at you. I just want you to be the first to know since it was your child too. You can go now. I want Jessica tell her to come next.” She places her face in her hand and I feel like I just died. I don’t understand how she could be so cruel to me.
If she doesn’t want anything to do with me then fine. I’m not going to sit here and let her put me down when I don’t deserve it.
I get up and leave the room and the second I’m outside I lean against the wall falling to the floor sobbing. My whole life just decided to walk out. There’s another person I gave my heart to and she didn’t want it either. How do you go on from that?
I feel a hand on my head and I look through my tears to see Marcus. Before I even think I grab him in a hug sobbing harder. “Come on bro we have to get you out of here. Jaden is about ready to kill you. When he finds out about what happened to Teagan its not going to be pretty.”
I shake my head in agreement and get up. I can hear voices and sobbing in the room where my whole life used to be. It almost kills me to walk away from her.
We skip stopping into the waiting room to say goodbye. I just can’t face them in the state I’m in. But that doesn’t stop Jaden from coming after me.
I feel a hard shove on my back and right myself balance before I face plant. “What the fuck Declan? Your just gonna knock up my sister and leave her? What kind of man are you?” he sneers his questions at me like I’m the lowest piece of dirt on his shoe.
“I didn’t leave her Jaden. She left me. She doesn’t want me anywhere near her. So guess what? I’m not going to go where I’m not wanted!” I yell at him pushing him back.
I guess he’s through talking because he sucker punches me in the face. My eye is stinging but I can still see through the other and dodge his next blow. Marcus grabs him around the arms to keep him from hitting me again. “Calm the hell down dude. There’s no need to go to violence.” Marcus tells him.
“Yes there is. He’s been fucking my sister for months now and didn’t even have the balls to tell me.” He spits in my direction.
“Let him go Marcus. He’s not going to hurt Declan anymore.” Comes Caden’s voice. “In fact I’m going to let him in on a little secret. Teagan is the one who didn’t want to tell you. Declan has felt bad about it since the beginning. So if you want to get mad at someone for not telling you then it better be your own blood because we all knew. We have all known way before today.” He glares at Jaden getting right up in his face.
“I don’t fucking care who knew and who didn’t. He was my best friend it was his choice to not tell me. He should have gone against Teagan’s wishes. None of this would have happened. Because that asshole wouldn’t have touched her!” he yells pointing in my direction.
Caden ignores him turning to me. “I’m sorry about what happened between you and Teagan. You should go before this dick gets any angrier. Well talk later, promise.”
I nod and wave Marcus over and we head to the car. I feel so empty inside and I don’t know where to go from here.
Chapter 19
Teagan
Depression is a horrible thing. I’ve been dealing with it for four months. I can’t seem to let go of something that I didn’t even know I wanted. I didn’t even know I was pregnant and to lose my child like that is heart wrenching. I know the doctor said it was common but I still can’t seem to get past the fact that it even happened. I feel so empty and it hurts so much.
I dropped out of school because I couldn’t handle it. Y’all might think I am crazy but this has really devastated me. It’s even worse what I did to Declan. In my time of grief I let the one strongest thing in my life go. I can’t even face him or think about him. I’m sure it has made my depression that much worse.
No one in my family will even say his name anymore. Grace will though. I get updates every now and then on what he is doing. It doesn’t seem like he is doing any better than me. Not only did he lose me but his best friend as well. At least I still have my best friend.
I’ve hardly left my room. At first I just laid around and stared at the walls crying. I’ve gotten better now though at least I can read again. I escape to my books where everythin
g seems a lot better than my own reality.
A knock comes to my door and I cringe hoping someone isn’t going to try and cheer me up again. They have all been in here at least once. Well not Marie. I think in some way she gets that seeing her belly would kill me. I hate I’m missing out on her pregnancy but I just can’t do it. That’s something else no one in my family will speak of either. I don’t even know if it’s a boy or girl. I can’t bring myself to ask
“Honey are you awake?” Sarah asks from the door way.
“Yeah I’m awake, what do you need?” I ask her in a bored voice hoping she will go away.
“I need you to get up and put some clothes on. I have something I need to show you.” She puts her hands on her hips and puts on her stern face.
There’s no stopping her till she gets what she wants. “Okay I’ll be down in a minute.”
After she leaves my room I run through a shower and throw on some clean jeans and a plain white shirt and my university hoodie.
I meet her down in the living room and she ushers me out to her shiny white Mercedes. The ride is quite and if she’s not going to make me talk then I’m not going to. I start to recognize some of the scenery we are passing and my stomach drops. I know exactly where we are headed. I haven’t been out here in a couple of years and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. Seeing my mother’s grave will be good for me. She always listened to what I had to say and didn’t judge me for the mistakes I made.
When Sarah parks the car at the little parking lot next the graveyard I’m out the door and running to her grave before Sarah even shut off the car. I run through the little metal fence gate and head straight for her. She’s near the middle and I run behind the headstones on the row above hers. I have never liked to step on the places the bodies are actually at.
