Breathless

by Lex Martin

  Finally, I can’t stand it any longer and reach down there to give myself some relief.

  “Fuck, yes. You look so hot doing that. Touch your pretty pussy for me.”

  I’m on fire from his words. From the way he’s looking at me. From the way he responds in my hand.

  I want to make him unravel, so I pick up the pace, eventually relaxing enough to take him to the back of my throat.

  His gravelly moan is the only encouragement I need to do it again and again until he tugs my mouth away in warning.

  Warm cum shoots on my neck and breasts and chin. I work him over with my hands until he yanks me off the floor and kisses me until I’m breathless. His hand snakes down between us, his fingers working their magic.

  “You’re so wet. Did my dirty girl get off on blowing me?”

  “Yes,” I admit as I writhe against him, my eyes clenched tight. I come in record time.

  As amazing as the orgasm feels, I’m not sure it beats the tenderness that fills me when he holds me afterward.

  We stand under the warm water, breathing hard, my nose pressed against his neck, his in my hair, a lifetime of things unspoken between us.

  Maybe that’s enough for now.

  24

  Joey

  The ride home is quiet, save for the classic rock Logan plays softly in the background. Three of the guys sleep in the back seat. Renee drove back with someone else, thank goodness.

  I’m drowsy too, but I’m enjoying holding Logan’s hand too much to nap. Every now and then, he shoots me a smile, and I grin back, feeling like I’m a balloon barely tethered to the ground. Whatever this is between us feels almost too good to be true, but for once in my life, I’m getting what I want and I refuse to question it.

  When we pull into a gas station with the rest of our caravan, everyone gets out to stretch their legs, and Logan motions me toward the side of the truck.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He’s frowning and rocking back on his heels.

  “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Just…” He looks around. No one is around, but he tugs me closer. “I, uh, wanted to apologize for last night. For—” He waves at my chest.

  I lift my eyebrows. “For?” An uncomfortable silence stretches between us. “Wait. Do you regret what we did?”

  “No. God, no.” He kisses me soundly and then rests his arms on my shoulder and lowers his voice. “I just… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to come all over you. I don’t want you to feel disrespected or anything.”

  An adorable flush darkens his cheeks.

  “Logan Carter, I do declare that you’re blushing,” I announce like Scarlett O’Hara. “First the tampons at Target and now this.”

  He rolls his eyes with an awkward laugh.

  Pushing up on my tiptoes, I kiss him and whisper, “Maybe I liked that part of our shower and maybe I’d be okay if you did it again.” His eyes heat, and now it’s my turn to laugh when he yanks me against his truck and sticks his tongue in my mouth. We make out like the world might end tomorrow until someone clears his throat.

  “All right, love birds. Break it up.” Ethan smirks at us, and Logan shrugs and kisses me again, not giving a flip that his brother is standing five feet away.

  Logan points at Ethan. “This is payback for that time I found you and Tori in the flatbed of your truck, in our back yard, on a Sunday morning.” He clicks his tongue. “Doing the dirty on the Lord’s day.”

  I slap a hand over my mouth to mask my giggle, but it still squeaks out.

  “Laugh it up, chuckles,” Ethan chides. “Your turn will come.”

  Logan pulls me closer. “We’ve been totally respectable. Well, mostly.” He scratches his jaw. “In public at least.” His eyes meet mine. “Right, babe? Except for the last little smooch-fest.”

  “Totally respectable.” I nod dutifully.

  A smile resides on my face for the rest of the drive. We’re almost back to the farm when I figure out why I’m so giddy.

  It feels good to be claimed by someone. And not just by anyone. By my best friend. After feeling left behind by my family, the sense of belonging settles over me like rain after a long drought. I never want it to end.

  I’m drowsy but so content when we pull up to Ethan’s driveway.

  Bev greets us at the door, the weariness on her face making me pause. “Did y’all have fun? Please tell me no one got arrested.” She seems to pick up speed as she doles out hugs to everyone, and I shake off my concern. Bev’s a powerhouse. Nothing gets her down.

  It’s not like things with Mama, I chide myself. My mother had dark circles under her eyes for months before my father thought to ask her if something was wrong—and it was only when his dinner was late to the table. He’d ask out of his own inconvenience and not genuine concern for his wife.

  When Bev reaches me, looking as spry as ever, she squeezes me tight and whispers, “Glad you finally got to go to the coast with our family, sweetheart.”

  That she remembers how I begged my parents so long ago squeezes my heart.

  When Logan catches my expression—no doubt I look emotional—he stalks over to me. “You okay, Jojo?”

  Nodding, I smile up at him, sighing contentedly when he takes me in his arms and presses a kiss to my forehead.

  I freeze when I see Bev studying us closely, her lips curling up slowly.

  A hot flush of embarrassment rises in my cheeks at the thought of the many naked things I did with her son this weekend, and I glance down, afraid she’ll see it on my face.

  I brace myself for her to say something, to call us out on the PDA or highlight the obvious change in our BFF status the way Ethan has, but she doesn’t. Just gives me a wink before pointing a finger at her son and barking, “I need to talk to you later,” before walking away.

  Oh, God.

  Leaning closer to Logan, I lower my voice. “Is Bev going to give you a hard time about us being together?” It never crossed my mind that she might be against us having a relationship.

  He shrugs. “I doubt it. You’re like a daughter to her, so it’s not like this is a stretch.”

  That warms me from head to toe for two reasons.

  One. Logan expects me to stick around. He might have said this wasn’t just a vacation fling, but it’s taking time to let my guard down and trust him. Which makes me sound like a crappy friend, but it’s been tough to reconcile the heartbreaker I grew up with and the man I’ve been bunking with for the last week.

  And two. Bev’s fondness for me isn’t just my imagination. That she considers me a daughter is a compliment of the highest order.

  Ethan and Tori hug the kids, who are jumping around and excited to see what Ethan brought back for them.

  “Ma, did my heathens behave?” he asks Bev.

  “Mostly. We only had to do one public flogging,” she jokes, looking tired once again. I’m sure hanging out with the kids the entire weekend did her in. Even if she had Tori’s cousins to help, Mila and Cody have a lot of energy to burn.

  I help unload the caravan before I drag myself into the house. I’m relieved we have five days before the rehearsal dinner because I’m wiped out. All that sunshine and frolicking did me in. Well, and naked midnight activities.

  Everyone has congregated in the living room except for Logan and Bev, who are arguing quietly in the kitchen. She waves her hands around, and Logan looks pissed. The vacation vibe he wore so well on the way home is gone. They immediately stop talking when they see me.

  “Sorry to interrupt. Sorry. I’ll just wait for you—” I point back toward the living room.

  Weird. Those two never argue. Not really. She might want to knock him over the head for being stubborn sometimes, but I’ve never known Bev to get really upset by much. Other than Ethan’s ex, that is. Allison riled up Bev like nobody’s business.

  Logan’s quiet on the way back to his house.

  I wait for him to tell me what’s going on, but he doesn’t, so I finally break down and ask.

 
; “Is everything okay with your mom?” Please don’t say she’s mad about us. I’ll die a thousand deaths if Bev’s against Logan and me having a relationship.

  He sighs wearily. “Yeah. Just…” He pauses a long moment. “She forgot to refill a prescription, which I would’ve been happy to do before I left had I known.” Another sigh.

  Relief that she’s not upset at me and worry about her health shoot through me so quickly, I can barely make sense of it.

  “Is she sick?” I almost choke on the words. Watching my mother die of cancer was one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through, and the thought of losing Bev is crippling.

  “Uh…” He shakes his head slowly. His eyes meet mine and soften when he sees my expression. He reaches for my hand as he drives. “There’s nothing to worry about, babe.”

  I’m hoping he tells me more, but he doesn’t. And I guess I understand. It’s really none of my business, but I can’t deny being disappointed that he doesn’t confide in me.

  His mood doesn’t improve when we get back to his place. Rambo and I curl up on the couch to watch reruns of Friends, but Logan heads back to his bedroom to make a few phone calls. When he returns, he reaches for his keys.

  “Gonna refill my mom’s scripts. I need to drive to Austin since the pharmacy here is already closed, so I might be a while. Don’t wait up.”

  It sucks to have to drive to the city on a Sunday night when he has to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow.

  “Do you want me to keep you company?”

  “Nah. I got this.” He kisses me on the forehead and is out the door before I can respond.

  I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to the story than what he’s telling me, but it’s not like I’m entitled to know Bev’s private business.

  Two hours later, after I get ready for bed, I stand in the hallway between our rooms and look back and forth at the doors, trying to decide what to do. I’ve only ever slept in Bev’s bed while I’ve stayed with Logan. But me staying in his room while at the coast is different than me sleeping in his bed at his house for the duration of my stay. Would that be too much for him? Would it cramp his style? Am I even staying in town after the wedding?

  Jesus, this relationship stuff is exhausting. I rub my face in Rambo’s fur. “What should I do?” About all of it, but I’m too tired to articulate the finer points of this conundrum to my dog.

  Bev’s room is safe, I decide. Logan can come and get me if he wants me to sleep with him.

  Except I fall asleep alone.

  25

  Logan

  The very last thing I want to do tonight is spend the next hour and a half in my truck after that five-hour drive this afternoon. What should’ve been a four-hour trip home turned into five and change when we stopped three times for gas and piss breaks.

  I’m in a foul fucking mood as I haul ass to the one pharmacy on the other side of the city that will fill my mom’s prescription.

  I feel like shit for lying to Joey, but my mother’s secrets aren’t mine to tell.

  Fine. I didn’t overtly lie, but I didn’t tell her the whole story, which feels like lying all the same.

  My mother nearly went off the rails when she tried to refill her prescription this afternoon and found out how much those little pills cost. Usually I get her scripts, and I’ve let her think our insurance covers everything. She was royally pissed when she found out it doesn’t. But like I’m gonna let my mother go without her medicine? Fuck that. I’d do anything for that woman, and if I have to work a second job to afford what she needs, so be it.

  I’m pulling into the pharmacy when my phone lights up with a call.

  I answer automatically, assuming it’s Joey or my mom.

  It’s neither.

  “It’s about time you answer.”

  Goddamn it. I throw my truck in park and lean my head back to take a deep breath, annoyed with myself for not checking the caller ID first.

  “What do you need, Samantha?” She acts like I ignore her. I’ve only answered a half dozen of her texts over the last three days.

  “Zach’s not feeling well.”

  “Still?”

  “I’m worried, Logan. Can you please come and check on him? I’m not sure if I should take him to the ER. I don’t have a grand to blow if they’re just gonna turn us around and send us home. Unless you wanna foot the bill.”

  Fuck my life. Why does everything always fall on my shoulders?

  “Does he have a fever?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  Jesus Christ.

  “Can you use a thermometer and check?” I ask as calmly as possible.

  “I don’t have one.”

  Of course not.

  I pinch the bridge of my nose, hating what I’m about to do. Not because I don’t care for Zach. I love that kid with every fiber of my being, but dealing with his mother overwhelms me to no end. A throb takes residence in my temple, and I add painkillers to my internal list of items to buy.

  After another long-ass sigh, I nod. “I’m at the pharmacy. What do you need besides a thermometer?”

  Zach went to a carnival with some friends yesterday and threw up last night, but I thought he was feeling better this morning. My brother and I puked our guts out when we were kids after we ate hotdogs and immediately hopped on a rollercoaster, so I didn’t worry too much because Zach’s a tough kid.

  When I reach their apartment almost an hour later, Zach is resting peacefully on the couch. Sam’s hands twist, and she gives me a pained smile. “Sorry if I overreacted. I was just worried,” she whispers. “He finally kept down a Gatorade and passed out.”

  I feel his forehead. It’s cool to the touch, and his breathing isn’t labored. He appears to be resting comfortably.

  After I unpack the groceries in their kitchen, I make a cup of instant coffee. It tastes like shit, but I’m so fucking tired, I’m not sure how I’ll make it home.

  I ignore the fact that Sam’s barely dressed, only covered up in a tiny silk robe that barely reaches her thighs. Doesn’t matter because I have no intention of seeing what’s underneath that fabric.

  “Make him some soup when he gets up.” I motion to the mountain of juices and other get-well necessities.

  She picks up one of the Gatorades I bought for him. “Orange is his favorite flavor.”

  “I know. That’s why I bought him four.” I might have felt a fat wave of guilt at the pharmacy so I overcompensated by purchasing enough supplies to last through the next ice age.

  But the lead in my gut won’t go away. Zach was sick, and I was on vacation. Nothing about this situation is his fault, yet he’s the one who had to suffer. I should’ve brought him with me. He would’ve had a blast.

  If you’d manned up and told Ethan the truth, you probably could have.

  As I look at Zach sleeping in the other room, I vow that the next time I head off on a family vacation, the kid is coming with me. He’s family after all. Even under these unusual circumstances.

  After I chug the rest of the coffee, I rinse out my mug. “Call me tomorrow if you’re still worried.”

  “You’ll pick up?” she huffs.

  This again.

  “Sam,” I say gently, “you know we’ve talked about having boundaries.”

  Her eyes well with tears, and it makes me feel like shit. I know this isn’t entirely her fault, but this isn’t an ideal situation for me either.

  “I just…” She sobs quietly. “I’m lonely, Logan. Why can’t we keep each other company? It’s not like you’re a saint. I thought you might want to…”

  God, please don’t finish that thought.

  I’m gonna have to give her a hard pass. For so many reasons.

  I start talking before she can say anything else. “I know moving here was tough and you miss your family. Did you enroll in classes like I suggested? You’ll meet more people like that. Just send me the bill, and I can reimburse you for the credits.”

  “I don’t care ab
out the fucking money, okay?” She lowers her voice when she realizes she might wake up Zach. “I mean, yes, I need the cash, but why do you only care about Zach and the bills? Why don’t you care about me?”

  I’m not really sure how to answer that tactfully. I take a deep breath. “Sam, come on now. You know I care. I give you a huge check every month to make sure you can afford everything you need. I take Zach to lunch every week and fix the broken shit in your apartment. Don’t say I don’t care. I just can’t be what you need in a man. That’s not me. That will never be me, okay? But I will support you each and every step of the way until you get on your feet. I care. As a friend.”

  A wild look in her eyes flashes for a moment, but then it’s gone. She nods slowly as she wipes away the tears, and I relax.

  There are only so many ways I can emphasize that she and I will never get together. Not in this lifetime or the next.

  Samantha is a beautiful woman with red hair, a curvy figure, and big green eyes. Which she bats at me every chance she gets.

  Still, I’m not interested.

  I hope Sam understands. That she really gets it this time.

  More importantly, I hope Joey understands when I tell her about Samantha.

  26

  Joey

  A warm, hard body slides behind mine under the covers, and I smile sleepily into the pillow.

  “What time is it?” I ask, my voice a rasp.

  “It’s late. Sorry I woke you, baby.” Logan’s cold nose presses to my neck, and I wiggle back to nestle against him in our cocoon of two.

  “Missed you.” A sad admission since we’ve been glued at the hip the whole weekend, but still true.

  “So much that you’re not in my bed?”

  I chuckle and rub the gunk out of my eyes. “You should’ve heard the internal debate I had about that at bedtime.”

  “I bet.” He kisses my shoulder, rests his giant palm on my breast, makes a manly sound of contentment, and passes out.