by Lex Martin
Forcing myself to calm down, I take a deep breath.
She starts to sniffle, and I wrap my arms around her. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll get your things organized again.”
I don’t mention the other questions I have, like what happened to her grandmother’s or mother’s belongings. Maybe some of them are in the pile, but it’s hard to tell.
Silas wasn’t always a dick. When we were kids, he was rough around the edges, but given who his father was, I figured he was doing better than his old man. Turns out, he’s just like that asshole—an abusive addict who only cares about himself. And I’ll be damned if he hurts Joey again.
By the time we’re done loading the truck, it’s late. Although most of what we boxed up were Joey’s clothes and random kitchen stuff we’ll probably toss, she found an old box of photos. Thank God she was able to rescue something of sentimental value. At the end of the day, while I know she’s grateful to get some belongings back, those photos are worth more to her than anything else she owns. Those might be the only pics she has of her mom.
Joey’s quiet the rest of the night. I undress her and tuck her in my bed before I spoon her from behind. We don’t talk. We don’t have to. I guess that’s what being in love with my best friend is like.
The thought doesn’t scare the hell out of me like I figured it would.
“I love you, Jo,” I whisper against her neck, the need to say it overwhelming any of my reservations. After talking to Isaiah this afternoon about his damn will, I don’t wanna hold back with Joey.
She stills. After a moment, she turns to face me. Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears.
“Don’t cry, baby. I’m sorry about your grandma’s house. I feel like an asshole for not taking you there sooner. I’m sorry for so many things. For not knowing what your brother was up to and trying to stop him from selling the house. For not helping you more with your grandma. For not stepping up to the plate and trying to build something real with you sooner.”
It kills me to know she’s hurting. I start to apologize again, but she places a finger over my lips.
We stare at each other, and even though she’s been crying and her eyes are puffy, she’s still the most beautiful woman I know. She’s pure of heart and loving and means the world to me.
She takes a shuddering breath. “I love you too, Logan.”
We grin at each other. I lean down to kiss her, never wanting this moment to end. It feels too good to have her in my arms. To know I mean so much to her.
As we move together, it strikes me that we haven’t been having sex. This isn’t fucking. As cheesy as it might sound, we’re making love. There’s no other way to describe it. I’ve been a damn fool to not see it sooner. The thought that I could’ve lost this, lost her, because I was too busy screwing around or being preoccupied is overwhelming.
She needs to know about Samantha.
My conversation with Isaiah rings in my ears. He’s right—I can’t wait until Ethan gets married. I have to tell Jo now. I don’t want to keep anything from her anymore.
My eyes travel over her. The girl’s been through the wringer tonight, so maybe right this moment isn’t the best time. But tomorrow. As soon as I get home from work, I’ll sit her down and tell her everything. Joey is the most supportive person I know, she’ll understand. As long as I can explain how it happened, it’ll be okay. It has to be. Because I can’t lose this girl.
32
Joey
Laughter bubbles out of me as I scramble across the bed. I’m buck naked, the sun is out, and I can’t seem to give a flying flip that Logan is getting an unobstructed view of my backside.
“I’m not done with you,” Logan growls. “Get over here.”
His hand wraps around my ankle, and I squeal as he drags me across the mattress. He pins me down, and I giggle into the pillow when his fingers slide across my ribs.
“Not fair!” I gasp.
“This is totally fair, baby.” His hot mouth latches to my shoulder, and he knocks my legs apart to make room for his big body. “This is what we call tickle torture. And this is what bad girls get as punishment.”
I yell and kick and laugh so hard, I can barely breathe, but oh, my stars and stripes, am I turned on.
Did I mention he’s not wearing a stitch of clothing either? And his hard muscles are pressed against me, from chest to thigh.
I’m so grateful Ethan told us to sleep in today. He texted late last night that he’d pick up Logan so I could keep the truck and run a few errands for Tori. But even with the extra rest and a more relaxed plan for the day, I couldn’t figure out why Logan looked so pensive this morning.
I was afraid he wanted to talk about last night, and I’m so over my family’s drama. I just wanted to lighten the mood. So I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and told a joke.
“What do you call a herd of cattle masturbating?”
A laugh erupted from him.
“That’s not the funny part.”
“You trying to tell a dirty joke is funny.”
“I can work with this. Okay, so what do you call a herd of cattle masturbating?”
“No idea.” He looked amused.
“Beef stroking off.”
He chuckled. “Speaking of, I got something you can stroke off.” He kicked off the blankets, and his giant member saluted me.
I gave him the hairy eyeball. “You can’t just whip it out like that.”
“I can’t?”
“No. I need a prelude.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “You need a prelude for my morning wood? That sounds awfully formal considering you’ve ridden my face.”
“Don’t be vulgar. I gently perched on your face.” I poked his penis and watched it wave like a pendulum. And then giggled.
You’d think I’d committed a crime.
“Did you just laugh at my cock, woman?” He looked so darn serious.
Squinting at his flagpole, I turned my head sideways and decided to razz him a little more. “It’s cute. I kinda want to draw a smiley face on the end of it.”
He gasped in horror, and I grinned.
Except then he got a mischievous look in his eyes that made me scramble away seconds before he pounced on me like a jungle cat.
Which is why he’s tickling me so hard, I might pee my nonexistent pants. He has no idea how lucky he is I already ran to the bathroom this morning.
I howl as his fingers wiggle against my stomach. “You weigh a ton more than I do, you big lug! This isn’t fair!”
“Baby, you called my cock ‘cute.’” Said member slides between my thighs and through my wetness. “I’ll show you how cute he is when I fuck you through the mattress.”
My laughter turns into a moan because it’s difficult to keep that quiet when he’s squeezing my breast and rubbing my mound.
Needing more, I lift my hips and he notches himself into me from behind. His large hands grip my waist and with a quick tug, he yanks us together.
We both groan.
“Fuck,” he pants in my ear. “Sorry, baby. Shoulda warmed you up more. You okay?”
“Yeah.” My eyes are crossing from the invasion, but I love it. “Don’t stop.” After a moment, he starts to move until we’re two bodies slapping together. I’m not trying to go X-rated porn star, but suddenly dirty words start tumbling out. “Oh, my God. Your cock feels amazing.”
I swear it swells inside me.
“Aww, hell, baby.” Grunt. Slap. Grunt. Slap.
Everything in me tightens.
“Don’t stop.” I gasp for breath. “I’m gonna come.”
Stretched out beneath him, I fist the sheets as his finger swirls tight circles on my clit. My back arches, and he somehow slides in deeper, and I scream my release into a pillow. He pumps twice more before he follows me over the edge, and we collapse on to the bed.
Somehow, I find myself being spooned, and I close my eyes with a smile and relish the sated, warm feeling of being in his arms. Nothing has ever felt bet
ter.
You’re my density.
He squeezes me tighter like he heard me quote that line from Back to the Future. He would know what I really mean by that. You’re my destiny.
I’m not sure how much time goes by, but we must snooze for a while. Only when I hear a horn out front do we budge.
“Damn, time flies when you’re having fun.” Logan kisses my shoulder and drags himself to the bathroom. “Can you text Ethan and tell him I’ll be out in a few?”
“Sure.” Yawning, I grab his phone by the bedside.
When Logan runs out of the bathroom, he’s dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. He grabs his phone and presses a kiss to my forehead. He’s halfway out the door when I yell out. “Check your messages! You had some texts from a guy named Sam.”
He freezes for a second and then turns back to me, all traces of his good mood erased. At first I think something’s wrong, but then he clears his throat. “Let’s have dinner here tonight. Just the two of us. There are some things… some things I need your help with.”
I smile, loving that I’m his person. “Sounds great. I’ll make us something yummy. Just give me a heads up when you think you’ll be home.”
The fantasy of living here for real, of loving Logan and building a life together, flashes in my mind. And I start to feel like everything I want is finally within my grasp.
33
Joey
With a flick of a finger, I post the pics I took of me and Logan yesterday on my Instagram. My silly heart soars when I study them closer. We look like a couple. I’m in his arms, and he’s kissing my temple while I smile at the camera. In another shot, we’re cheek to cheek, mugging it up. My cousin will probably give me some hard eye rolls when she sees this. I shoot Dawn a quick text, asking if we can catch up later today.
Once I feed Rambo, I hop in Logan’s truck to run a few errands for Tori. I’ve barely pulled out of the driveway when my phone vibrates with a text.
Silas: You around still?
And just like that, my brother lands in my life like he hasn’t been MIA for months.
Relief and anger vie for the most prominent emotion in my chest, but after reminding myself that he sold our house without telling me, anger wins out.
After I take a few calming breaths, I compose several texts, but end up deleting everything. I can’t tell him off via text or he’ll ghost me again with nary a look in his rear view mirror. Finally, I settle on something unemotional and hope we can sit down to talk.
Me: Yeah. You in town?
Silas: Maybe for the weekend. Not sure.
God forbid he commit to anything.
Me: Want to grab coffee?
He must want to talk since he texted in the first place, but I’m still surprised he agrees to meet me at the Lone Star diner.
When I pull open the door to the restaurant twenty minutes later, I immediately spot Silas sitting in the back corner.
Grungy. That’s the only way to describe him. A dirty T-shirt. Ripped Jeans. Greasy hair. Silas used to be a handsome guy. Now he looks homeless. My big, tough brother doesn’t look so tough all of a sudden.
“What happened to you?” I slide into the booth.
“Nice to see you too, Josephine.”
“Cut the crap. You sold Gran’s house, fell off the face of the planet for months, and show up suddenly like it’s no big deal, looking like something the cat dragged in.”
His eyebrows lift. “Aren’t you a ray of fucking sunshine?”
Silas is not the only one who’s surprised. I never talk to him this way, but I’m done tiptoeing around him.
Carol pulls up to take our order. “Hey, darling. Nice to have you home! What can I getcha?”
I ignore my sorry excuse for family and smile at Carol, who’s always been the biggest sweetheart. “Hey, Carol. Nice to see you too! I’ll have a sweet tea and a slice of your amazing pecan pie, please.” I don’t think I can stomach much food and talk to Silas at the same time.
“No problem. And for you?” Her smile disappears when she turns to my brother.
“Coffee. Black. That’s it.” He rubs his hands together, and I take in his scrawny appearance and the dark circles under his eyes.
I roll my eyes at myself. I shouldn’t care. Silas doesn’t give two flips about me. And yet I know myself. The guilt will eat me alive if I don’t get him a meal. “Carol, can you please bring him something to eat? Maybe the pot roast and mashed potatoes with extra gravy. Oh, and some biscuits.” That used to be his favorite. I turn to him. “You still eat meat, right?”
“Yeah. I like that stuff. It’s just…” He rubs his hands again and looks away.
I sigh. Leave it to my brother to blow through thousands of dollars in the blink of an eye. Because he’s undoubtedly broke. Again. “It’s on me. Don’t worry about it.”
Carol gives me one of her parental smiles like she thinks I’m doing the right thing even though she doesn’t like Silas.
When she’s out of earshot, I drop the niceties. “What’s going on with you? And why don’t you have any money when you just sold Gran’s house?”
After a long, dragged-out sigh like I’m the biggest pain in his ass, he tosses an arm over the back of the booth. “I’ve been in rehab.” He waves the other hand over himself. “Obviously, it’s doing wonders.”
“That’s why you sold the house? You wanted to go to rehab?” I feel like I’m speaking a foreign language with how unexpectedly this conversation is going.
“I wouldn’t say I wanted to go to rehab.”
It takes me a minute to process what he’s saying. “So you got in trouble, and what, had to go to rehab instead of jail?”
“Ninety days of court-mandated rehab, to be precise.”
“And you didn’t think to mention this to me?” Tears sting my eyes. I hate myself for showing any emotion right now.
“Don’t start blubbering over that old pile of bricks. The house was barely worth anything anyway.”
Furiously, I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “I’m upset about you, you pompous jerk. Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble?” I lower my voice. “And did you seriously forge Gran’s signature on the deed or something? That’s how you afforded rehab, right? The house?”
He shrugs, and it takes everything in me not to reach across the table and strangle him because I know that’s as much of an answer as I’m gonna get.
The food comes, and I sit there shell-shocked and watch Silas shovel down mashed potatoes. I have eighty-five dollars to my name, and as much as my brother hurts me down to my soul sometimes with his selfishness, I have to ask if he needs anything.
“Do you have money for food and rent? Where are you staying right now?”
“Got a girl. She’ll feed me.”
Good Lord.
“And you’re done with rehab? You… you’re feeling better?”
“Yeah. I’m off the hard stuff.”
My eyes drift to his arms where the track marks have faded. “Silas, please take care of yourself.”
He pauses with a fork of food halfway to his mouth. “Really. I’m cool.” He studies my appearance. “What about you? Where you staying?”
“Logan’s.” I answer without thinking.
His whole body tenses. “What the fuck, Josephine? Don’t you have other friends you could stay with?”
I clench my hands so I don’t reach for a blunt object. “Where was I supposed to stay? You sold our house. Without bothering to mention it to me.”
I’m annoyed with myself for bringing up Logan when I know the topic triggers Silas, but why should I have to hide things about myself? All I ever did was hide who I was growing up to make my parents happy. I was too awkward? I shut the hell up. I giggled too much? I stopped laughing. They didn’t want me to show too much skin? I wore freaking overalls. Well, they’re not here to tell me what to do.
Before he can respond, I shake my head. “Why do you care if I’m with him?”
“What do
you mean you’re ‘with him’?” His eyes narrow into tiny slits. “You’re dating him?”
Here we go.
“You could give a shit what happens to me as long as it does not involve the Carters. Why is that?”
With a clang, he drops his fork on his plate and jabs a finger at me. “You know why. You know their fucking father cheated with Mama. Hell, if you hadn’t been born before we met those people, I’d wonder if that man was your sperm donor too.”
I’m so disgusted I can barely talk. “Not this again.” I shake my head. “Daniel Carter would never cheat on Beverly. Besides, the man has passed, rest his soul. And it’s in poor taste to talk ill of the dead, Silas. I know you harbor this misplaced resentment, but those rumors aren’t true. Mama might have cheated, but I seriously doubt it happened with Mr. Carter. I always thought Daddy was delusional, all hopped up on drugs, and imagined the whole thing.”
“You’re a fucking fool. It happened right under your nose, and you refuse to see it.”
“See what? Tell me what I’m missing. Are you mad because Mr. Carter laid off Daddy because he was coming to work drunk or high? I can’t say I blame him for that.”
He pushes his plate away. “Daniel Carter slept with Mama and laid off Daddy while he had the whole town thinking he was a saint. That’s why I hate that fucking family. Logan’s just a carbon copy of his old man, and you’re a dumbass to think he won’t do the same thing to you. With the way you’ve chased after him your whole life, he probably decided to go for the easy lay. So don’t go thinking you’re special. He’ll be on to the next pretty thing who spreads her legs in a few weeks.”
I suck in a breath at his hateful words.
Heat stings my eyes, but I refuse to let the tears overflow. “If anyone is like their daddy, it’s you, Silas. Maybe you should look in the mirror before you go casting stones.” I toss down some money to cover lunch. “Funny, but I used to look up to you when we were younger. I honestly don’t know what I ever did to make you treat me this way, to act like you hate me.” With a swipe of my elbow, I wipe my eyes. “You always said you wished you didn’t have a sister. Congratulations. You’re getting your wish. I hope you have a nice life.”
