At this moment though, he was happy to just give her pleasure. He wanted to give her so much pleasure that she screamed, and he wouldn’t relent until he did just that. When she was finally screaming, only then did he relent and help her over the edge to her orgasm. “Ty takoy krasivyy!” he told her, then translated for her since he wanted her to understand. “You’re beautiful when you’re like this, Hayden!”
With his words and encouragement, she quickly found her release. He watched for as long as he could before he finally fell over the edge himself. Holding her close, he let his orgasm wash over him, holding her in his arms, trying to protect her from his lust as much as he could.
When it was all over, he collapsed on top of her, but rolled so that she was cradled in his arms.
For a long time, they stayed like that, his fingers soothing through her hair, tangling in the soft tresses, and then letting the silky mass trail through.
“What did you say?” she asked, lifting her head up to look at him.
He shifted so that he could see her pretty eyes. “When?”
“Earlier. When you were…” she blushed, causing him to chuckle.
“When I was inside of you? When you were pulling me into your body?”
She rolled her eyes even as her blush increased. “Yeah. That. What did you say?”
He moved her higher onto his chest, enjoying the weight of her like this. “I said you are beautiful. I like seeing you in the throes of passion, Hayden. It excites me.”
She smiled, then lifted her head to kiss his chest. “You make me a bit uninhibited.”
“As you should be. When we make love, you should have no inhibitions. I want the real you.”
She shrugged, not sure she could always give him that. It embarrassed her, how crazy she got when he touched her, but she wasn’t going to reveal anything right now.
“You must eat,” he announced, standing up with her in his arms. He handed her his shirt, not allowing her to dress again. “What’s the point? I’m just going to take your clothes off soon anyway,” he told her with a wink. Of course, she blushed as she slipped her arms into his shirt sleeves, rolling them up higher so that her hands could reach out the ends. But when she reached for her underwear, he plucked them from the floor, stuffing them into the pocket of his slacks which he’d just pulled on as well. “No need,” he told her and took her hand, leading her into the kitchen.
He made her some sort of fish for dinner, complete with a delicious sauce and a nutty grain. The wine he poured for her was amazing and, the more she sipped, the more relaxed she grew. They talked and she laughed at his charming stories, ate, and drank the wine. And when the meal was finished, he lifted her into his arms, carrying her to his bedroom where he made love to her all over again.
It was in the early hours of the morning when she jerked awake, the strangeness of her surroundings making her look around, disoriented. It took her several minutes to realize where she was and why. When she felt Viktor’s arms tighten around her, it took all of her self-discipline to get her body to leave the warmth of his bed
No way was she going to wake up again to find herself alone. Not this time!
Instead, she slipped out of the bed, grabbing his shirt once again. Tip toeing through the penthouse, she found her clothes in the great room where she’d taken them off so many hours ago. After dressing, and with her shoes dangling from her fingers, she grabbed her purse, made sure she still had her keys, and then slipped out of his penthouse.
Getting home that night, or morning, was a bit of a challenge. It took three phone calls to cab companies to get one of them to pick her up. She’d parked at the subway station, so it was a long ride back. When she finally reached her car after the cab dropped her off at the parking garage, even Hayden felt a bit nervous. The parking garage was dark and sounds reverberated throughout the empty parking spaces.
Thankfully, her car was still there and she dove into the driver’s seat, locking the doors quickly.
When she finally pulled up outside of her small house, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was home, safe and sound.
Entering her house at this time of the night was also strange, causing her to tip toe up the stairs, even though she was the only one here. After a warm shower, she slipped her nightgown on and climbed into bed, pulling the blankets all the way to her chin.
By rights, she should be exhausted. But Hayden couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Staring up at the ceiling, her body ached because she knew that she could be back in Viktor’s arms. And what had he said earlier? She’d asked for a translation, but there’d been one point when he’d said something and it had sounded almost gentle. She didn’t think he’d given her the whole translation.
As the clocked ticked over to the early morning, and the sun began to peek over the trees, one thing was clear. She was going to have to learn Russian, she didn’t think Viktor was going to translate anything to her if he didn’t want her to know what he was saying.
She smiled to herself as she rolled over, thinking about how she could surprise him by learning Russian. She had absolutely no idea how she was going to do it, but somehow, she was going to find a tutor. She was going to do it!
Unfortunately, the excitement of her plan kept her from falling to sleep. By six o’clock, she gave up and decided to start her day.
She’d just turned on the stove to heat up the water for tea when the door burst open. Turning, she jumped when she discovered Viktor standing in her doorway, looking furious.
“You left!” he snarled, stepping into her kitchen and slamming the door behind him.
Hayden’s chin went up defiantly. “Yes. I did.”
He moved closer to her, making her feel stalked. She was sure that was his intent, but she wasn’t cowed by him. “Stop it, Viktor. I didn’t do anything that you haven’t done to me.” She glared up at him. “And now you know that it hurts.”
He stopped, staring at her blankly for a long moment. “I hurt you?” he asked gently.
She saw the wounded, startled look in his eyes and almost relented. She hated this, but it had to be said. “Yes. You made love to me, making me crazy, then held me in your arms while I slept. In the morning, I woke up feeling…wonderful,” she admitted, giving him everything, thinking that was the only way to make this relationship work. “That feeling vanished when I realized that you were no longer there, sleeping next to me.” She stared up at him, watching the emotions flit across his handsome features. “I asked you not to leave me, to just wake me up to say goodbye before you left me. But you didn’t understand. So I told you in a different way.” A month ago, she’d thought this man was made of stone, feeling nothing. But watching him, she now knew better. He had emotions. They might be locked away or unacknowledged for other issues, but he felt things for her.
The idea made her heart sing and she moved closer, putting her hands on his chest. “You love me, don’t you?” she asked very softly.
There was a long silence while he stared down at her. Finally, he shook his head. “Love is for fools, Hayden. You don’t love me. It is just…”
The look on her face, or maybe the hurt in her eyes, stopped him. Those lips that had given her such pleasure last night, compressed into a thin line now. She held her breath, waiting. Hoping. Praying he might say something beautiful.
When he remained silent, she lifted a hand, pressing it against his chest and said the words she’d been denying for too long. “I love you, Viktor. I know that I shouldn’t. You’ve warned me that you’re not a nice man, but I do. I love you.”
He gripped her upper arms, almost hurting her as he lifted her up onto her toes. “You don’t! Love is…” he stopped, pressing his lips together again.
His eyes were on fire, the silver heat almost burning her as he glared down at her.
A moment later, he released her, and stalked out of her kitchen, slamming the door so hard, the glass panes almost shattered. Just a shuddering sound reverberating throughout the house. And
her heart.
“You’ll be back,” she whispered.
But the door remained closed. After several minutes, Hayden knew she needed to start her day. Exhaustion was painful, but she somehow managed to get through the rest of the day. Arianna arrived for work and they discussed several issues, but when the kind woman asked why she looked so tired, Hayden couldn’t respond. “Just a hard night,” she told her new friend. “I’m going…” she looked around, not sure where she was going or what she might do.
That night, she curled into bed, ignoring texts from Kate and Natalie. Obviously, Arianna had searched for their phone numbers and called them, letting both of them know that something was wrong. But Hayden couldn’t explain. Her whole body hurt too much.
“In the morning,” she vowed. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow morning.”
Chapter 8
“Okay, spill it,” Kate demanded as soon as she placed the cups of latte, tea, and coffee in front of each of them. Arianna, Kate, and Natalie stared at Hayden, but she was looking down at her herbal tea, not looking up at anyone else.
“Hayden, what happened?” Natalie asked, laying a hand on her friend’s arm.
“Nothing,” Hayden replied. “Absolutely nothing.” Which was the truth. For three days, she hadn’t heard anything from Viktor. The workers kept showing up at the house, but she didn’t care what they did anymore. She didn’t have the energy to give them instructions or guidance. As of yesterday, they’d stopped coming.
But worse, Viktor hadn’t called. He hadn’t stormed into her house or stomped up to her out in the garden area. He’d just…left after that one fight. He hadn’t understood, and he’d told her with his silence that she’d lost him. One battle and she’d lost.
“Did you talk to him?” Kate wanted to know. Natalie and Arianna had told Kate what they’d suggested to Hayden and all three of them had agreed that it was a good plan. But Hayden looked worse now.
“When was the last time you slept?” Arianna asked worriedly.
Hayden looked at each of their concerned faces, then forced herself to smile. “I’m sleeping,” she lied. She slept, but it was more along the lines of a nap. She’d climb into bed each night, stare up at the ceiling until about five or six in the morning thinking about Viktor, missing him, wanting him so badly she ached. Around the same time that the sun started to rise over the horizon, she fell asleep for maybe an hour or two. At that time, Hayden knew she wouldn’t get any more sleep. Each morning, she dragged herself out of bed and into the shower, trying to warm herself with the water. But it was pointless. She was cold everywhere. Viktor had sparked something deep down inside of her, an anger, a passion, a fire…she wasn’t sure what. And now that he was gone, so was the spark. She didn’t want to want him, but she couldn’t help but think about the times they’d shared together.
Kate leaned forward. “Honey, you have to get some sleep. Why don’t you…”
“I can’t sleep,” she whispered, then lifted her cup to her mouth. As she carefully placed the ceramic cup back down to the table, she knew that all three of her friends were watching her carefully. “I’ll be okay,” she told all of them. “I just need…time.” Yes, time would heal everything, she told herself.
“Did he do this to you?”
Hayden laughed softly, shaking her head and patting Kate’s hand. “No. Viktor didn’t do anything to me. I told him what I needed and he couldn’t give it to me,” she explained. Her fingers shook slightly, so she kept her cup in the saucer until she regained control. Turning to Arianna, she smiled. “The transfer of the plants is happening pretty fast. You’ve done a good job.”
Arianna glanced at Natalie and Kate, all three of them concerned. But they nodded, following Hayden’s lead. “Well, you’ve done an excellent job too, you know. You bumped up Teddy Manor’s order just yesterday, almost doubling the plants he thought he would need. He walked away happy with what you suggested.”
Hayden smiled, thinking about the man who was trying to build several houses on the outskirts of town. “Yeah, those balconies will look pretty with the new evergreens underneath them.”
Silence. Hayden hated the silence. She’d always tried to fill silence in the past, but right now, she couldn’t think of anything to say. She also knew that her friends needed some reassurance that things would get back to normal, but Hayden wasn’t sure that would happen. She was still hurting inside, so cold, all she wanted to do was sleep. But every time she curled up on her bed, memories of the times she’d spent in that bed with Viktor haunted her and she couldn’t sleep.
“I’m going to be fine, ladies,” she promised. Grabbing her purse, she pressed it against her chest, hoping the gesture might hold her heart inside of her chest. Because right at this moment, she wasn’t sure she could do it all on her own.
Walking out of the coffee shop, she looked up and down the street, almost forgetting the way back to her house. It was only a mile, she thought, then turned to the left to make the trek home.
Before she knew it, Arianna was by her side and she knew that Natalie was behind her, with Kate looking out the door of her coffee shop. “I’m fine. Really,” she assured all three women.
“You’re not fine!” Natalie hissed. “And why aren’t you driving your cute little sports car? Did that jerk take it away?”
“No. I just…” she closed her eyes against the pain that poured into her in that moment. “I can’t drive that car. It isn’t mine. It’s Viktor’s and he’s….” She didn’t finish that statement either. She wasn’t sure what to do with the two cars. They had been parked next to her house ever since Viktor had walked away that morning.
“I’m going home,” she told her friends.
“I’ll drive you,” Arianna announced, taking Hayden’s arm and pointing her towards the coffee shop parking lot.
“I can walk.”
“I know you can,” she said firmly. “But since I’m heading back to the garden center myself, there’s no reason why you can’t ride with me.” And with that, she opened the passenger side door and motioned for Hayden to step inside.
On the drive home, Hayden stared out at the passing landscape, trying not to think about Viktor at all.
As soon as they pulled up into the parking lot, Hayden stepped out, walked over to the front door and tossed her purse inside. After that, she walked over to the neat, lines of plants and started working. She talked with the customers, answering questions, showing them the plants, how to care for them, the pots, the soil, the fertilizer…and when there weren’t any customers, she worked on the computer, ordering new inventory, grabbed clippers to snip off any fading blooms, trimming the bushes to look more appealing…anything she could to get her mind off of Viktor’s absence.
She couldn’t really blame him, she thought as she turned an arborvitae around to snip off a couple of brown limbs. She’d asked him for emotions, to feel something for her other than sexual desire and he couldn’t do that for her. She might have only told him that she loved him, but they both knew that she’d been asking him to love her back. Better to know that now rather than later when she’d really fallen in love with him.
Yeah, she thought as she dead-headed an entire row of rose bushes. Better to get out early and know what the man was capable of before she truly loved him. Before she’d grown used to having his arms around her, feeling him kiss her, make love to her. Yes, this was better, she told herself.
Arianna stopped at the end of the row of bushes. “Hayden, you need to stop.”
Hayden was crouched on the ground, ignoring the sharp gravel that was biting into the tender skin of her knees. “I do?”
“Yes, honey. It’s dark outside. You can’t even see what you’re clipping any longer.”
Hayden looked around, realized that it was dark now. Where had the day gone? Hadn’t she just had coffee with her friends only a half hour ago? Looking down at her watch, she realized that it was well past dinner. “Why are you still here?” she asked, standing up and
dusting off her jeans.
“I was finishing payroll and some reports that…” she stopped, looking at Hayden warily. “I just have some financial reports to finish up.” She paused for a moment, then looked around. “Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?”
Hayden shook her head. “No thanks. I’m not really hungry.”
Arianna’s lips twisted slightly as she thought about something, then she shifted. “Well, I’m hungry. But I guess I’ll just skip dinner tonight. I don’t feel like eating alone.”
Hayden laughed softly. “You’re just trying to trick me into eating dinner with you because you think I’ll skip another meal.”
The other woman shrugged. “Well, you didn’t have anything for breakfast or lunch, and it’s past the normal dinner time, so I’m guessing you’ll just go into your dark house, take a shower and…” She tilted her head slightly. “What do you do at night?”
She sighed, walking over to the gardening center so she could clean her clippers and lock up for the night. “Oh, different things. I read, watch a movie or…”
“Just sit in the dark, moping about that man?” she asked gently.
Hayden smiled slightly, blinking back tears, because she was sick of crying over a man who didn’t care. “Or that.”
They both walked into the house and Arianna pushed Hayden into a chair. “You’re eating,” she announced. “What do you have to eat?”
She shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure. I haven’t been to the grocery store since…” she stopped, biting her lip because she couldn’t finish that statement. She hadn’t been grocery shopping since Viktor had filled her fridge up with food.
Arianna understood without being told. “Right. Got it,” she announced and pulled open the freezer. “So, you haven’t really been eating much, but you have all of these wonderful meals.” She pulled two boxes out of the freezer and read the instructions. “This looks easy enough,” she decided and popped them both into the oven, then turned on the heat.
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