by Roya Carmen
I rub my arms in an attempt to keep warm. My knee length fall jacket is not warm enough and my flimsy little black dress is not helping either. I teeter on my heeled boots as we go through the steps. We are all in our positions. I can’t believe the big day is tomorrow. I hope I don’t mess it up. I’m so thankful Amber asked me to be her bridesmaid.
Keira, the flower girl, is the first to venture down the aisle, a cobblestone walkway leading to the front. Amber and Aiden are very lucky the fall is mild this year – they could never do this outside in the snow. Then again, snow could make for a magical winter wedding. I like the idea of that. I know they host weddings in the winter at Riverstone – they have a horse carriage equipped for all seasons.
Ruby follows Keira because she’s the maid of honour, then it’s myself followed by Anna. When I reach my position in the front and turn to the future bride and her gorgeous brother, I smile at Flynn. He looks at me like no other man has ever looked at me. Every time he looks at me that way, my stomach fills with butterflies.
Flynn is giving away Amber, and he’s a proud brother tonight. He wears a thick plaid jacket and jeans, his hair perfectly parted and combed neatly as always. I imagine him in a tux and can’t wait for tomorrow.
Patricia, the wedding coordinator leads us through the motions, ensuring each one of us is prepared. Amber and Aiden kiss and smile at each other. Everyone cheers – there are about a dozen of us.
“Now it’s time to stuff our faces,” Ruby cheers. “I’m starving.”
I’m starving too, and I can’t wait to retreat to the warmth of the Inn. I turn my head and catch Flynn watching me. He doesn’t smile, his expression is hard to read. My brain fills with memories of our kisses every time I look at him. I want so much more. The papers were filed. I am officially separated and Flynn and I are free to discover each other. We just haven’t had the chance these past few days because he’s been so busy at the barn, and I’ve been busy helping with the wedding preparations. The idea of being with him is absolutely intoxicating.
I wonder if he’s as eager as I am.
The rehearsal dinner feast is impressive; roast chicken, roasted potatoes, coleslaw salad and corn on the cob. We’re gathered around the rustic table in the dining room, lost in conversation.
Amber says grace. “Thank you, Lord, for all this food, all our friends, our health and the blessings we have been given. Never let us take them for granted. Amen.”
“Amen,” we echo, a chorus of soft voices and grumbling stomachs.
I dig into my chicken. Flynn presses a hand on my thigh and leans over to me. “You look lovely in that dress.”
I smile wide. “Why, thank you, Flynn,” I say, looking down at my simple little black dress.
He laughs. “By lovely, I mean intolerably sexy,” he whispers against the shell of my ear.
Warmth spreads through my core, and it’s not the wine. Tonight might be it – I have a feeling. I imagine the two of us together in his bed – slow, soft and beautiful. I wonder what kind of lover he is. His gentle nature leads me to believe he’s very loving and tender in bed. He’s no alpha, and I’m just fine with that. I’ve had plenty of alpha and I’m ready to welcome a change under the sheets.
The food is great and the company even better. Every day, I’m thankful to be here, thankful that these kind people have taken me in and included me in their family. I still can’t believe Amber has asked me to be part of her wedding. I’ll do her proud – at last check, the yellow dress still fit. It was a bit snug, but I was still able to zip it up. As long as I don’t stuff my face tonight, I should be fine. Unfortunately, no dessert for me.
When the yummy looking blueberry pie makes its way around the table, my stomach whines and curses. I pout as I watch Flynn drop a spoonful of whipped cream on top of his slice. He shoots me a grin. “You’re not having any?”
“I need to fit into my dress tomorrow. It’s pretty tight.”
He digs into his slice and points a forkful straight to my mouth.
One bite couldn’t hurt.
I graciously accept it and wrap my mouth around the delicious bite of pie – it’s to die for.
He takes a bite and again, he offers me another taste.
I laugh. “You’re a bad influence,” I say as I gobble down another bite.
He winks. “Just wait until you see me later.”
Damn.
I check my watch. How long until we’re done with this dinner? Seated at the lively noisy table, I don’t hear anything but his words, I don’t see anyone but him. There are just the two of us in this dining room.
Amber taps me on the shoulder, a troubled expression plays across her features. “He’s here again.”
My breath hitches – it runs away from me. She doesn’t need to go into specifics. I know who is waiting at the door for me. Why tonight of all nights? He can’t have possibly been served the papers already – I just filed them three days ago.
I wipe the corners of my mouth with a linen napkin and stand up.
Flynn is right behind me. “I’m coming with you.”
When we reach the entry hall, Michael is standing in the centre of the foyer, tall and brooding. He doesn’t say a word. His gaze fixes me and it is relentless. It travels slowly up my legs, along my body, and finally reaches my eyes. “You look nice.”
“What are you doing here, Michael?”
He glares at Flynn and turns his attention to me. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Jade. I miss you. Did you get the flowers?” He doesn’t know about the papers yet. He reaches for my hand and I let him – guilt washes over me as I replay recent events, all those forms I signed, doing away with my wedding ring. It’s over for me.
Thankfully, he doesn’t notice my missing rings. “This… this is not a good time, Michael,” I try to explain. “We’re right in the middle of a rehearsal dinner. Amber and Aiden are getting married tomorrow.”
“Can we just go somewhere to talk? There’s so much I want to say.”
Flynn glares at him. “She’s not going anywhere with you.”
Michael’s nostrils flare, his mouth fused into a tight line. “Jade will go where she damn well pleases. Back off, Riverstone.”
“Well, she doesn’t please to go with you.”
I turn to Flynn. “It’s… it’s okay… we can just talk for a minute.” I really want to talk to Michael about the papers. He should know. He shouldn’t find out from a pimply intern at the attorney’s office, hired to serve divorce papers. We’ve shared nine years of marriage. The least I could do is tell him it’s over face to face. What I did was cowardly.
Flynn grabs Michael’s arm. “Let go of her hand,” he scoffs. His eyes are unrecognizable; dark and hard. “She’s not going anywhere with you. We’re in the middle of dinner.”
I’m taken aback by Flynn’s possessive behaviour, but I know he’s only trying to protect me.
Amber and Aiden join us in the foyer. The Riverstones love drama, and this is definitely drama. Michael has drama written all over him – he’s a real piece of work.
But I’m so damn tired of drama. I’m exhausted. I just want a simple and serene life.
Michael finally concedes and lets go of my hand, but he’s livid.
“Now get out of here before we throw you out,” Flynn hisses.
Michael pivots to the door, a scowl etched across his features. Just as he steps out, he jerks his head and looks straight at me. There’s so much sorrow in his eyes, it absolutely breaks me. Despite everything he’s done, I still have a place in my heart for him. You can’t just throw away ten years together and pretend none of it ever happened.
“I want to talk to him,” I tell Flynn.
Flynn rubs a hand down his face, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. “What the hell is going on between you two?”
I seethe as I slip on my boots and grab my jacket off the coat rack. I have two men pulling me in opposite directions, and if they’re not more careful, they might just break me.
I run outside to catch up to Michael.
He turns to me and his whole face lights up. He dashes in my direction, leans into me and pulls me up close. His large arms wrap around me and his embrace feels so familiar. “I miss you so much, Jade. Come back to me.”
I feel a hard hand on my shoulder and in a swift second, I’m pulled back from him. I turn to see Flynn. I’ve never seen that expression on his face – pure rage – red and hot. He pulls me to him and wraps his arms protectively around me. “Get the fuck out of here,” he hisses at Michael, “or I swear, I’ll kill you.”
Michael backs away. “I’ll be back,” he warns and then turns back in the direction of his large black Escalade. He hops in and zooms off, tires spinning. Flynn and I both watch him disappear down the drive and along the highway, out of sight.
I swipe around and look up at Flynn. I’m so angry, I can hardly see straight. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you insane?”
“I’m sorry, Jade. I don’t know what game you’re playing but I’m not playing it. This thing with us… it’s real for me. And if it’s not real for you, if you’re just getting off on the drama, getting off on this cat and mouse game you two seem to be playing…”
I’m at a total loss for words. I wish I could say something but he’s rendered me speechless.
“If you’re just using me to make him jealous, hoping he’ll chase you and fight for you—”
“No… that’s not what I’m doing.” His words cut so deep. Is that really what he thinks?
He runs a hand through his hair. “If I’m just a pawn in your fucked up little game—”
“No,” I scream.
“I’m just tired of this shit. I’m tired of this guy. Is something still going on between you two?”
I inch closer to him and look up into his eyes – there’s so much hurt there. I hate that I’ve hurt him. It’s the last thing I want to do. “No,” I tell him softly. Doesn’t he know how much I care about him? “I filed the papers on Tuesday.”
His eyes darken. In an instant, he pulls me against him, hard. His mouth crashes onto mine, and the warmth of him sinks deep, melts me into a puddle. He’s hungry and wild as he slides his hot tongue across my jawline, down the curve of my neck. My mouth is frantic as it searches for his again. He tugs at my hair as he kisses me again, and grabs my ass as he pulls me hard, closer against him. I grind him, wanting more.
This is a Flynn I haven’t seen before, but I like it. I love it. I pull my mouth from his, breathless. “I want you, Flynn.”
With a dark gaze, he grabs my hand in his and pulls me behind him.
Jade
As soon as he closes the door behind us, he slams me against the wall. His loft is dark and smells of horses. It’s cold as hell too but I’m burning inside.
I’m wrapped around his hips, my feet off the floor, my mouth lost in his. He slides his hot tongue across my neck. “You’re a dark soul, Jade,” he whispers, his mouth pressed to me ear. “You get off on this. You like it hard, messy and complicated. Admit it, that’s how you like it.”
He’s not completely wrong. I know one of the reasons I’ve always been so attracted to Michael, so infatuated with him, is his darkness. I find it powerful – it’s so intense. He makes me feel alive.
Flynn drops me to the floor. He slaps a hand on my ass and jerks me around and flattens my face against the wall. He slides his warm hand under the skirt of my dress, up my thigh. “Is this how you like it?”
I close my eyes.
Yes…
God, he’s turning me on.
He tears my jacket off my shoulders – it falls in a heap at our feet. My head jerks back when he twirls my hair around his hand in one swift pull. But his fingers are feather soft when he peels the thin strap of my dress over my shoulder. He bites into my flesh.
God…
He reaches under the skirt of my dress again, yanks the band of my lace panties and pulls at it hard – the fabric rips into my flesh as it goes down. He kneels at my feet and slides the flimsy fabric over my boots. He slides his tall lean body back up, still pressed close against the curve of my back. “You want me to fuck you like he does?”
I close my eyes. “Y-yes…” I breathe, the word muffled against the wall.
He presses his mouth against the nape of my neck. “How does he fuck you, Jade?”
“H-hard,” I say, breathless.
His mouth lingers on my neck when he slides his hand down my arm and takes my hand. I swivel round as he pulls me to the sofa. He wears a wicked grin as he bends me over the arm of the sofa. “Don’t move,” he says quietly.
He digs into his pocket and I know exactly what he’s doing. I can’t believe we’re finally here in this moment. I never imagined it like this. I imagined it sweeter, softer. But this is so fucking hot, and I’m so damn wet. He’s not moving fast enough.
He runs a hand gently through my hair, the other pressed into the flesh of my hip. He sinks his long fingers between my legs and slides them up my sex. It feels so good I could die. He practically makes me come right there.
“Fuck, Jade,” is all he says, his voice ragged.
“God, Flynn… I want you inside me.”
He slowly sinks into me, and I’m in heaven. He feels just right inside me, and I don’t want this moment to ever end. We start off slow and smooth, his body presses into mine in long strokes. I revel in the sounds of our hurried breaths slicing through the silence, our moans melting into the dark night.
I sink my nails into the sofa and grab the edge of the cushion. “H-harder,” I beg.
He groans softly as he presses deeper into me, harder. I know he’s getting close, and so am I.
He feels so mind-blowing.
As I frantically climb to my release, I let out a series of whimpers, wanting him to know how much he’s pleasuring me, that he’s almost taken me there.
When I finally reach the edge and cry out into the night, he pushes into me harder and stills. A loud guttural moan escapes him. I grin at the sound… I love the idea of bringing him pleasure.
He crashes into me, his body warm against mine. He kisses my temple slowly and releases me. I turn my face to his but I can’t quite catch his expression in the dark. “You were as amazing as I’d imagined,” he says softly and then leaves me quietly. I stand and stare down at my boots. I smooth down the skirt of my dress. I’m still fully dressed, with the exception of my panties which are somewhere on the floor by the entrance. I search for them in the darkness. When I finally locate them, I slip them over my boots.
Flynn returns and quickly makes his way to me. He pushes me against the wall again. His lips press gently against mine in a soft sweet kiss. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I lost control. I was still angry.”
I smile up at him. “Me too.”
He runs his finger along the curve of my cheek. “You drive me crazy.”
“I know.”
He reaches for my hand. “Come with me.”
I follow him to the sofa. He grabs the plush throw and pulls me to him as we settle into the oversized cushions. He squeezes me close to him and wraps the throw around the both of us. He reaches for a small remote and turns on the electric fireplace. “It’s freezing in here.”
“That must be why we just had sex with all our clothes on,” I quip.
He laughs. “Yeah, that kind of thing is best done completely naked.”
I kiss his beard. “Next time.”
He squeezes my shoulder and I cuddle closer into him. “This is perfect… the two of us cuddling under a blanket,” I say.
“One day… we can take the blanket to the floor and make love right in front of the fire.”
I stare down on the lush shag area rug and imagine it. “Yes, please… sounds amazing.”
We sit in silence for a beat.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I shouldn’t have been so hard with you, so wild. It’s not usually my style.”
“It’s okay. I
obviously enjoyed it,” I laugh. Did I ever!
“It’s just… it makes me so crazy… the thought of you still having feelings for him, going back to him. I feel greedy,” he says. “I want you all to myself. I never want to let you go.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Why him?” he asks. “What did you ever see in him?”
“It’s complicated. We have an intense history.”
He doesn’t pry. He doesn’t ask about our history – I’m sure he has all kinds of theories. “Did he ever treat you right?” he asks. “Was it great at the start?”
“Yes, at the start, we were madly in love and he treated me like a princess. He never hurt me. And we had some great times. He used to make me breakfast in bed, solve my crossword puzzles, surprise me with my favourite smoothie. My fondest memories of him were when we spent weekends at his friend Karl’s cottage up in the Muskokas. It was a quaint little blue cottage perched on a cliff over a lake. We didn’t have our own cottage back then, or even a house. We had nothing but each other.”
“Sometimes that’s all you need when you’re in love.”
“We used to jump off the cliff by the cottage, hop into the hot tub on the deck, climb up the cliff and do it all over and over again. We feasted on burgers and grilled chicken skewers, played cards late into the night. He was such a cheater. Those were some of the best times of my life.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You’re never too old to make new memories, Jade.”
I lift my face to his. “I know. I love it here. I love being with you. This… right now, is just as amazing.”
Flynn
I loosen my bowtie. I hate wearing suits. I suppose, I don’t have much choice – none of us do; Aiden, Trevor and I. We’re shooting the breeze in one of the dressing rooms. Trevor is entertaining himself by making faces in the mirror next to Aiden who towers over him.
Aiden stares at his reflection in the mirror and fiddles with his bowtie – he obviously despises it as much as I do. “I hate wearing these monkey suits.”
