by Abby Green
She felt him reach down over her belly and lower, between her legs, to where she was hot and slippery with renewed arousal. He muttered roughly, ‘I can’t wait…put your hands on the wall…’
She obeyed him wordlessly, and felt him pull her back more, then spread her legs. With a keening cry of frustration she felt him guide himself between her legs, until he could surge up and into her heat.
One hand touched her, flicking her clitoris, his other hand was on her breast, kneading and moulding the weighty flesh. Jamilah gasped for breath, struggling to retain some sanity as the water sluiced over them, heightening everything.
The climax came swiftly, rolling over them like a huge wave and throwing them high. Jamilah gasped, head flung back, as Salman pounded into her, every powerful thrust of his body sending her hurtling into another climax. With one final thrust he stilled, and she felt his release spill deep inside her. Only the faintest of alarm bells went off. She was too stunned, trembling all over in the aftermath.
Salman gently turned her around and gathered her close, settling his mouth over hers in a brief kiss. ‘Are you okay?’
Jamilah could only nod. She was speechless, and just let Salman lift her out of the shower and wrap her in a huge towel. She’d been wrong. It had never been like this before. It had been amazing, yes. But this…this transcended everything that she had experienced with this man before. It was as if she’d had an extra layer of skin before, but now it was gone. And in a way it was; she was no longer an idealistic virginal innocent…
He dried her, before drying himself, and wrapped her hair in a towel. He hitched another towel around his waist and led her out to the bedroom, to sit beside her on the end of the bed.
Jamilah’s brain was still numb from an excess of sensation and pleasure. Slowly reality trickled back, and Jamilah saw that Salman had his arms resting on his legs, head downbent. As if he could feel the weight of her gaze, he looked up. She saw that there was a grim set to his face.
‘I didn’t use protection.’
An old pain made Jamilah feel weak inside. She hadn’t even noticed that they hadn’t used protection. She forced out through numb lips, ‘It should be fine. I’m at a safe stage of my cycle…’
She looked away, to a spot on the floor, and knew in that moment that she had to tell him what had happened. She didn’t know if it was out of a desire to inflict pain because he’d made her feel so vulnerable, or out of a genuine necessity to let him know that for a brief moment he’d been a father.
She said quietly, ‘Anyway, I’d know if I was pregnant after a couple of weeks.’
She could feel his look, his frown. ‘What do you mean? How would you know?’
She took a shaky breath. ‘Because I was pregnant before and the symptoms hit me almost immediately. But about a month after I fell pregnant I lost the baby.’
He turned her to face him, but instead of seeing the dawning of understanding all she saw was compassion. ‘Is that why it’s been so long since you were with anyone?’
It took a long second for her to realise that he wasn’t putting two and two together. Could he really be so obtuse? Jamilah wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. And suddenly her desire to tell him the truth faded. What purpose would it serve when he clearly couldn’t believe for a second that she spoke about him? And after everything he’d told her last night? Treacherously, she didn’t want to give him something else to feel guilty about, and she hated herself for that weakness because it meant she was just as lost to him all over again.
She brushed his hand aside and said, ‘Something like that… Look, I’m really quite tired. I’d like to go to sleep now. Alone.’
To her intense relief, after a long moment when he clearly didn’t know what to do with the information she’d just given him, he said, ‘Are you sure you want to be alone?’
Jamilah nodded, and with a last look Salman got up and left the room. Jamilah got into the bed with the towels still wrapped around her hair and her body. She curled up in a ball as silent tears trickled down her cheeks and she grieved for the baby who’d never had a chance.
Salman lay awake for a long time, thinking about what Jamilah had revealed. Hearing that she’d been pregnant with another man’s child sent all sorts of ambiguous emotions to his gut. One in particular felt very similar to the jealousy he’d felt earlier.
He’d always vowed to himself that he wouldn’t bring a child into this overpopulated world. The main reason being that he was quite simply terrified that he wouldn’t be able to protect it from the terrors that were out there. From the terrors that he himself had witnessed, which he felt were indelibly marked in his blood and might possibly be passed down to a son or daughter. That was why he’d taken the drastic decision to have a vasectomy nearly ten years previously.
He’d mentioned his lapse about protection more out of a concern to keep them both safe from disease or infection. But Jamilah, understandably enough, had assumed he’d been concerned about pregnancy. He hadn’t corrected her as he’d never told anyone about the vasectomy. But just thinking of it brought his mind back to how it had felt to take Jamilah like that, skin on skin, and arousal flared all over again.
He grimaced and rolled over, punching a pillow before settling his head on it. He could see now what had added shadow and depth to Jamilah in the intervening years, and curiously Salman had to battle down an urge to find out more…to protect.
The following day Jamilah felt paranoid—as if everyone was looking at her. Could they see where it felt as if a layer of skin had been stripped off her body? Thankfully she was caught up in meetings for most of the day, so she didn’t have to cope with facing Salman. Eventually she went to the bathroom to see if there was something on her face, and grimaced at her reflection. Despite the fact that she’d not had a good night’s sleep her skin glowed, and her eyes were so bright they looked almost feverish.
Her lips seemed to be swollen, and they tingled at the memory of Salman’s kisses. As if on cue she felt her breasts tighten and her nipples harden against the lace of her bra. She wanted him even now. She stifled a groan of despair.
Just then an acquaintance came out of a cubicle.
Jamilah composed herself and smiled at the woman, and washed her hands. The other woman smiled back, and was about to go, but then she turned and said hesitantly, ‘I know it’s not my place, but I feel you should know that Ahmed, Sultan Sadiq’s aide, has been spreading rumours about you and Salman al Saqr…’
Jamilah flushed, mortification rising upwards. Stiffly she said, ‘Thank you for letting me know.’
The woman walked out and Jamilah faced the mirror again. She sighed. No wonder people had been looking. She couldn’t really blame the other man; that was effectively twice that Salman had upstaged him. But as of now her reputation was muck. Not that she was really worried about that; she wasn’t bound by the same strictures as a lot of women from her part of the world. She had no family, and one of her parents had been European, so she’d always been something of an anomaly.
But it would be all over the place by the end of the day that she was sleeping with Salman, and he would have another very public notch to his bedpost.
She stood tall and smoothed her hair, before leaving the bathroom with her head held high. She had nothing to feel ashamed about except for her own very personal regret that she’d let herself be seduced by Salman all over again, despite all her lofty protestations.
‘I have to go to a charity function tonight. I’d like you to come with me.’
Jamilah looked at Salman. He was dressed in a tuxedo again, and he’d been waiting for her when she got back to the suite. She was trying not to succumb to his intensely masculine pull—especially when she remembered the previous night. She was about to say no—she wanted to say no—and yet she hesitated. There was a quality to Salman’s wide-legged stance which should have suggested power and authority, but which actually made Jamilah think of him as being vulnerable.
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�What charity?’
Salman’s face was unreadable. ‘It’s a charity I founded some years ago.’
Jamilah knew she couldn’t stop the shock from registering on her face, and she saw Salman note it and smile cynically. ‘You didn’t have me down for a philanthropist, I see.’
Jamilah blanched at the fact that Salman was constantly surprising her with his multi-faceted personality, and got out something garbled, her curiosity well and truly ignited now, despite her best intentions.
‘The charity is in someone else’s name. They head it up publicly, and lobby for funding, but essentially it’s my project.’
A thousand questions begged to be answered, but Jamilah held back. She couldn’t not go now. ‘Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be ready.’
Salman inclined his head and watched as Jamilah went to her bedroom. He’d actually been afraid she’d say no, and that realisation sent a feeling of nausea to his gut. He released a long breath, his heart hammering against his chest. He had no idea why he’d felt compelled to ask her. But some force had made him wait for her, and as soon as he’d seen her the words had spilled out. Frustration had been gnawing at his insides all day at being apart from Jamilah, and he didn’t like it. Yet here he was, ensuring she be at his side for the whole evening and, more than that, witnessing him in a milieu that he’d never shared with anyone else. But then, he thought angrily, he’d spilled his guts to her only the other night, so why stop there?
The earth was shifting beneath his feet and he couldn’t stop it. His desire for her burned even more fiercely now that it had been re-ignited, and in all honesty any woman he’d been with in the intervening six years was fading into an inconsequential haze.
He paced impatiently while he waited, and then he heard her. He turned around, already steeling himself against her effect, but it was no good. She was like a punch to his gut. A vision in a long swirling strapless dress of deep purple, which made her smokily made-up eyes pop out. Her hair was down around her shoulders.
Unable to stop himself, he walked over to her and cupped her jaw and cheek in one hand. He felt a delicate tremor run through her body, the hitch in her breath, and saw how her stunning eyes flared and darkened. Something exultant moved through him.
Words came up from somewhere deep inside him, and he had no more hope of holding them back than he would have of stopping an avalanche. ‘You’re mine, Jamilah.’
Her eyes narrowed, became mysterious. She was shutting herself off and he railed against it. ‘And everyone knows it, Salman.’ She smiled cynically. ‘After your little theatrics last night we’re the hot topic of the moment.’
Salman felt fire flare in his belly at the thought of that man touching Jamilah. He growled out now, ‘Good. Because we’re not finished yet, you and I.’
He bent his head and unerringly found her mouth. She resisted at first, but Salman used every sensual weapon in his arsenal until he could feel her curve softly towards him and her mouth opened on a delicious sigh. He plundered her sweet depths until she was clinging to him, and he was rock-hard and aching all over.
He pulled back and for a few seconds her eyes stayed closed, long lashes on flushed cheeks. He bit back a groan. But then her eyes flicked open and spat blue sparks at him. She trembled in his arms even as she said huskily, ‘One more night, Salman. That’s it. We go back to Merkazad tomorrow, and what we’ve had here is finished.’
Jamilah knew that after hearing the revelation of what Salman had endured as a child she wouldn’t be able to keep up a façade of being unmoved while they made love for long. She longed to take him in her arms and comfort him, soothe his wounds, but he couldn’t be making it any clearer that that was the last thing he needed or wanted.
Everything within Salman automatically rejected Jamilah’s ultimatum, and yet he felt the desire to protect himself, feeling vulnerable for the second time in the space of mere minutes. First when he’d asked her to the function, and now this… Her ultimatum shouldn’t be affecting him. He should be welcoming the prospect of his freedom. Hadn’t he told her what to expect? Why shouldn’t she want this to end? Any sane woman would…
He shrugged nonchalantly. ‘If that’s what you want…’
Her jaw tightened, and Salman longed to make it relax again, but Jamilah bit out, ‘Yes, that’s what I want. This ends here in Paris, for good.’
Anger and something much more ambiguous rose up around them as Salman reached for Jamilah’s hand and took it. ‘Fine. Well, let’s get going, then. We don’t want to miss a moment of our last night together.’
Our last night together. Even now, minutes later in the car, Jamilah had to struggle to beat back the prickle of tears. The realisation that she was still desperately in love with Salman was not so much a realisation as more a kind of resignation to her fate. How could she have thought for a second that she wasn’t still in love with him? And, worse, falling even deeper all over again…
Her brave words that this would be finished in Paris still rang hollow in her head, because she knew it was just her pathetic attempt to make Salman think she was immune to him. She knew damn well that when they got back to Merkazad if he so much as touched her she’d be in his bed in a heartbeat. The only protection she could hope for was that if she went back to the stables and stayed there she’d be safe. Pathetic. She’d hide from him amongst the horses and take advantage of his fear, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to trust herself to be near him. When she thought of that, she automatically wanted to help him get over his fear. Pathetic.
At that moment he took her hand and urged her towards him along the back seat of the car. His face was in shadow, all dark planes and sculpted lines, and she couldn’t resist. When he bent his head and took her mouth in a soul-stealing kiss she gave herself up to the madness.
She was dizzy after Salman’s thorough kisses by the time they reached a glittering hotel at the foot of the Champs-Elysées, and it was only when they were walking in that Jamilah realised Salman was nervous. He was gripping her hand. She looked up at him but his face was impassive.
An attractive middle-aged brunette was waiting to greet them in an immaculate dark suit. Salman introduced her to Jamilah as the co-ordinator of the charity. Their French was rapid, but Jamilah could keep up as she was fluent, too. The woman was explaining that everyone had just finished dinner and were ready to start listening to the speeches, and then an auction would take place. Salman nodded, and they followed the woman in through a side door and took a seat at a table near the front of the thronged ballroom.
Jamilah was aware of the way the energy in the room had zinged up a notch when people noted Salman’s arrival, and of the intensely appreciative regard from women.
It was only when the speeches started that Jamilah realised which charity it was, and a jolt of recognition went through her. She’d read about it only recently when it had won a prestigious award. It was in aid of children who had suffered as a result of being drawn into conflict, and most especially for the notorious child soldiers of war-torn African countries. The charity was renowned for blazing a trail in setting up schools and psychological centres for those children, where they could go and be safe and get counselling to deal with their horrific experiences, with the view of either rehabilitating them with their families, if it was appropriate, or taking care of them till they could be independent.
Very few other charities offered such comprehensive, all-encompassing long-term care. No wonder Salman had set it up; he’d never had a chance of that kind of care to get over his wounds.
She watched dumbly as a young African man of about eighteen took to the podium. With heartbreaking eloquence he spoke of his experiences as a child soldier and how the charity had offered him life-saving solace. He was now living in Paris and attending the Sorbonne, having begun a law degree. By the time he’d finished talking Jamilah and many more in the auditorium had tears in their eyes. He got a standing ovation.
As he came off the podium he came stra
ight over to Salman, who gave him a huge hug. He introduced the boy to Jamilah, who was too humbled to say anything more than a simple greeting. And then the crowd surrounded him and Salman sent him off with a wink. Jamilah could see how moved Salman was, too, with a curious light that she’d never seen before in his eyes.
He looked at her and she opened her mouth, questions and emotions roiling in her belly and her head. Still with that serious light in his eyes, he put a finger to her mouth and said enigmatically, while shaking his head, ‘I don’t want to talk about it—not tonight. But perhaps you can understand why I set it up…’
She could see the way his jaw had firmed, the determined glint in his dark eyes. She recognised his intractability. Eventually she nodded. And the obvious relief in his expression made her heart flip over in her chest. She’d just fallen a fathom deeper in love with Salman.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THEY stayed for the auction. Salman raised the bidding stakes by offering up a kiss from a well-known Hollywood heart-throb who was in the audience, and he bounded onto the stage, clearly loving the attention.
When it was over Salman tugged her up out of her seat and back through the side door. She looked at him as she tried to keep up, and asked a little breathlessly, ‘Don’t you have to…mingle or something?’
He looked back, eyes glittering. ‘I employ people to do that for me. I extract the money, I run the charity anonymously, and I show my face every now and then.’ He stopped in his tracks and turned so that Jamilah all but tumbled into his arms. ‘Anyway,’ he said throatily, ‘I have a much more pressing engagement tonight.’ With a subtle movement of his hips against hers she could feel exactly how pressing that engagement was.
