“I’ll be brief,” he said. “I came to say you were right.”
“Oh? This is interesting. About what?”
He licked his lips. “You should go to Sweden, Luna, live the life you’ve planned to live. You in no way, shape or form are ready to face Horror, or Chaos for that matter, and you won’t be for centuries. Lay low, explore your possibilities, learn, be your own person. The world is only fresh to us once.”
I heard but I didn’t understand. “You want me to go?”
He nodded. “What you have wanted is what I want now, too.”
“And when did you decide this? Last night you asked me to stay, you wanted to sleep on my couch so you could protect me, and now suddenly I’m better off in another continent?”
“Selfish thoughts consumed me, but I see clearly now.”
Right. And why was I upset? Wasn't that my plan, what I had always wanted? Didn’t I insist over and over that I wanted to experience a normal life far away from the monsters, beasts and demons? Yet, somehow, coming from his lips, it felt like I was being thrown out and forgotten.
“The mist rider in you has been dormant for too long,” he went on. “It will take centuries to fully reshape your powers, and even if you manage that, it won’t be enough against Horror, not if you don’t find your legendary horse.”
“So, what you’re saying is that horseless I’m useless to you?”
He sighed. “You’re acting like a child again. I thought you wanted this.”
You didn’t think I was a child last night, did you?
Was this the same man who kissed me and hoisted me up into his lap? Last night, I was a woman and an equal. Today I was an immature nobody to be discarded like old news, to be hidden away for centuries.
I began to shake. Magic rose and I pushed it back down.
“What about us?” I said.
“I will always be at your disposal. I will alert my contact within the Immortal network of Scandinavia. There will always be eyes watching and they will alert me if my presence is needed.”
Was he acting stupid on purpose? “That’s so not what I meant, Jonas. You’re honestly the one being a child. I’m talking about us. Our personal relationship.”
I thought I saw a crack in his rigid façade, but it quickly dispersed. “That was a line that we should never have crossed, Luna. We found ourselves in danger, together, it build an intimacy, a shared pathos, but our connection if pushed too far would never work. You know that as well as I.”
“I don’t know what I know,” I said defiantly. “I don’t know everything every second of the day. I’m not six billion years old like you. And you are… you’re so old and grumpy and way too arrogant. I mean, wayyyyyyy too arrogant! You’d be a toxic boyfriend, like in new and terrible ways of toxic boyfriending. And besides, why would I want to saddle myself with the first Immortal who crossed my path. As no one said ever, there’s a lot of Immortals in the sea. Maybe I can date all of them, I have the fucking time.”
A vein pulsed in Winter’s temple. His stare assumed the pitiless glare of a hungry predator. It unsettled me. He looked at me with monomaniacal focus. He exhaled and the fury in his eyes dissipated. He cleared his throat.
“I’m honestly just honoring your wishes and doing what’s best. I hope it’s not too difficult for you to accept my concern for your wellbeing.”
“I hate to quote Chaos,” I said, shaking my head, “but do you ever even hear yourself? Just get out! Go!”
When I pointed at the door, it popped open at my command. I watched until he stepped off the sidewalk and crossed the street. A woman waited for him by a fence, tall and slim, dressed in tight faded jeans and a burnt orange leather jacket—Kirsi.
The smoking hot sidepiece. Of course.
I was so furious—I’d have blown up the apartment if Gram wasn’t busy taking a bath. Only last night he had burst through the night sky, looming over Lucia’s neighborhood, bouncing from roof to roof like a beautiful demon to get my attention. He had hired people to fix my apartment and had paid my lease for a full year. He had asked me to stay with him. Bullshit. All of it.
All those magnificent gestures orchestrated perfectly to sweep the naïve girl off my feet and, my god, how I fell for it. I came that close to letting him do anything he wanted for crying out loud. And I mean, anything.
He and Kirsi must be having a good chuckle. Well, screw him.
“Is everything all right, my darling?” Gram said.
I pulled Winter’s trick and calmed down my features.
“Yes, Gram,” I said. “Everything’s perfect as a peach.”
***
Nothing was perfect. And I hated peaches (not really). It was after midnight and I tossed and turned on the couch, unable to sleep. I squeezed the blanket and hissed under my breath. I had let my guard down, I had been a total girl about things, but the sky wasn’t falling.
In a way, Winter had set me free. Since our first meeting at the park four months ago, it was the first time I could think about the future and not feel like I was faking it. I should be happy enough about that, but something told me this wasn't where the story ended. There were things Winter wasn't sharing.
Careful not to wake up Gram who was sleeping in my bed, I slipped into my jeans, snatched up my sneakers and tiptoed my way to the door.
The night sky was clear, the moon looked like a half-eaten apple. I called an uber for La Jolla and waited, going through everything in my head.
I had overreacted, there was no denying that. There was also no denying I had been through a traumatic week that had taken an emotional toll. Maybe I could cut myself some slack and, maybe, extend that to Winter.
Standing on the sandy sidewalk below Winter’s condo, I watched the waves of the Pacific Ocean lapping onto the beach just a few feet away.
My lungs filled with the salty sea air.
There was a light on somewhere in the condo, probably the kitchen. I took a step toward the gate when the balcony door above opened. Winter stepped out and crossed his arms on top the railing. Jazz music thumped from inside. A string of twinkling Christmas lights burst to life along his railing.
A woman stepped next to Winter. Her long, blonde hair fell down her shoulders and back in cascades.
Chazona, the Immortal ice queen who, I was sure, had pursued him throughout the ages of man.
She wrapped her slender arm around his shoulder and whispered into his ear. He laughed.
I stepped behind a palm tree, shielding myself and my shame.
Winter said something and Chazona nodded in agreement. She kissed his cheek. They both laughed. I had seen more than enough.
A second before I turned to go, Chazona threw both arms around his powerful neck. She spun him so his back was to me. Her lips found his and then she gazed down at me, her eyes finding mine in the lamplight.
Her blue eyes narrowed and gleamed with satisfaction, like her whole body was amused by me. She was telling me she had won.
I’m the classic fool.
I marched away, head hung, wishing I had remembered my jacket. For one fleeting moment, I had wanted to let Winter into my life, to take a side once and for all, form a real bond, a relationship even. Anything to stop me from battling through a thousand scenarios in my head about how I would end up making the wrong choice, and, if there was any truth in Celia’s prophecy, how I would screw up and watch the world go up in flames of Horror.
And maybe I was attracted to him despite all his flaws, but what woman wouldn’t be? He knew exactly how to draw you in, how to seduce anything that walked on two legs. And to truly judge me you’d have to kiss him first. We’d see if there was any good sense left in any girl after that.
The intimate moment on the balcony could be a Chazona-style setup, I realized that. She might have seen me and mapped out that scenario. But I also could not fail to see it for what it was—a wakeup call.
I was in no way ready to take sides—let alone allow a three-thousand-year-old Ch
ief Magistrate and Shadow Warrior, superb at killing and manipulation, into my life, my heart and my bed, just because he was hot and made me feel safe for a minute inside an Eternal Vault.
As far as I was concerned, both Chaos and Winter were lethal and loyal only to their own causes. I had a problem with men, you see. I tended to want to believe in them, make excuses for them, give them chance after chance to show their noble essence, their true colors, their ultimate worth.
Maybe it was time I gave myself that chance.
CHAPTER 25
____________________________________
TWO MONTHS LATER
STOCKHOLM
Göran caught up with me as I was exiting the lecture hall after Professor Lundberg’s overlong lecture on traditionality and modernity. My real supernatural power was keeping my eyes open when that man talked.
“Have you snagged a partner for the research project yet?” Göran said.
“Not yet,” I said. “I had my sights set on Elsa.”
“Oh, no, pick me, pick me,” he said as he danced a little jig around me.
I shook my head. “No thanks, you’re too manic. A ferret on crack is more chill than you. Hashtag Facts. Hashtag Tough Love.”
“C’mon, Sophie, I’m failing this course and I’m willing to overlook the fact that you’re one of those ghastly hashtag people. You know you were put on this Earth to help more charming people than yourself. You know this.”
I sighed. I liked Göran. He was cute with an infectious smile and loads of positive energy, but he was also surprisingly lazy for a grad student. “Fine,” I said, but you have to pull your own weight and it has to be a flirt free zone.”
“Done and done,” he said. “Meet me at Pharmarium tonight?”
I rolled my eyes. “We have to work, Göran, not go out for Lagers.”
“It’s cool. I’ll bring the books and everything.”
“I’ll think about it.”
He kissed my cheek and strolled off. I was already regretting my decision to partner up with him. I’d end up doing all the work myself, I just knew it.
At the bus station, I took out my phone to read Lily’s latest messages.
Need 2 visit u. Stagnation setting in, ugh.
When? I need dates.
I pondered the perfect reply to my favorite hot mess.
“My homeland favors you,” a female voice said. “You’re thriving.”
I looked up to find Kirsi, Guard of the Seventh Council Seal and Winter’s BFF/protégé/sidepiece, grinning at me.
She took a step back and sized me up. “Your aura is dazzling.”
“Kirsi, why are you here?”
A young couple walked past. Kirsi asked them something in Swedish. They answered and walked away, waving goodbye at her.
“How’s your Swedish?” Kirsi said. “Do you know what I asked them?”
I nodded. “You asked where we could find the best blood pudding.”
Kirsi wrapped her hands. “Oh yes, I did, it’s been a while.”
“Well, don’t let me keep you,” I said.
She bent her face. “Luna, I didn’t travel all the way to Stockholm to have blood pudding. I want to talk to you.”
I had zero desire to have a conversation with Kirsi. Zero.
“Fine,” I said. “But no blood puddings or blood sausages. There’s a coffee house around the corner.”
She laughed. “Weak stomach?”
I shrugged. “I wasn't around during the days of Viking savagery.”
Okay, maybe I shouldn’t shit on their history.
The cafeteria patio was built on top of thick logs floating on the Lake Mälaren waters. Most of Stockholm was near water as the city was built on separate islands, connected by fifty-seven bridges.
Despite the chilly weather, several rugged souls were having coffee on the patio. The logs underneath our feet swayed ever so slightly. It felt like we were on a boat.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I said.
A solemn expression took over her face. “Luna, on behalf of the Society of Immortal Sisterhood and the Order of Peace Fighters, we would like to extend you an open invitation to join our ranks. We consider you a kindred spirit.”
I blinked. “I have no idea what you just said.”
Kirsi rubbed her coffee cup. “I belong to a small band of female Immortals who have vowed to support the members of their sisterhood and fight for peace among all supernatural creatures. We’d like to count you as one of us, or at least an honorary member.”
Um, okay, this is completely random.
“Well, thanks, I guess, but I’m more of a loner.”
Kirsi exhaled. “I get that you’re mad. I’m not sure why you’re mad at me, exactly, but that whole mess you went through was rough, I get that. Luna, you need real friends, friends who know what you’re going through and what you will go through. Let us stand by your side. Sisters in Immortality.”
“Kirsi, I’m sorry. My life is simple here. I’m enjoying an academic life among the basics and their silly, manageable problems. Frankly, I need a break, a long and distant break from everything magic right now.”
She stared ahead into the busy street behind my back. “The city we’re in was built on fourteen islands,” she said, pensively, “but no being is an island. Immortal or mortal, sooner or later, we all need to know where we stand and who has our back. Do you know how I became a Valkyrie?”
I shook my head. I was actually kind of interested.
“I was born in 928 in a Viking settlement on the east side of the Baltic sea that is now part of Latvia. I never knew my parents. I grew up as an orphan, eating whatever scraps the settlers could spare. I starved to death again and again only I would magically revive every time. I didn’t know I was Immortal until two warrior maidens, Herja and Sigrún, found me asleep on a riverbank when I was six.”
“Valkyries,” I said.
Kirsi nodded. “Immortals. They knew what I was, so they took me away with them, brought me to Sweden, they dressed me, fed me and trained me. They made me into Kirsi. The two Valkyries formed their own Order within the Immortal network and advocated peace among magic factions at a time when their Immortal male counterparts only cared about war and power and fornicating. These are my sisters and they can be yours too.”
I sipped my coffee. “I was a bit terse before. I don’t know why, but I will think about your kind offer and I will let you know.”
“You do that. If you accept, there’ll be a proper reception for you, and they will cook up ancient delicacies like you’ve never known.”
“I think you just want the cakes,” I teased. “Me joining the sisterhood is just your path to those cakes.”
She grabbed her heart. “Don’t make me deny that. Let’s call it 50/50 on my true motivation for your presence in the order.”
It was nice to see her after all. I breathed inside my palms trying to warm my hands. “I’m still struggling with the cold weather.”
Kirsi considered me a long while. “Speaking of cold weather—”
“What is that look?”
“Winter has feelings for you, Luna, I hope you know that.”
I nearly spat out my coffee. How did we go from discussing the lovely independent women peace fighters and cakes to some old magistrate’s supposed feelings for the new girl?
Patriarchy anyone?
“What does he know about love?” I said, looking out at the green lake waters. “Do Immortals even experience love after so many years?”
Kirsi grinned. “You think we can’t—no, wait, you think I can’t?”
“Well, can you? Have you ever taken a husband? Have you had a family in all those years you’ve been alive?”
Her features hardened. “This isn’t about me,” she said. “His feelings are sincere, Luna. He hasn’t felt this way for a woman in a long time.”
“Really? And he shared that with you?”
“No, of course not. He doesn’t share his inner life
. I can see it.”
“What about Chazona?”
“Chazona? She never had his heart and she never will.”
“Yeah, but I bet she had other parts of him.”
Kirsi raised her brows. “Ah, you’re jealous?”
I dismissed the notion with a wave of my hand. “Magistrate Winter will never love anyone as much as himself or his plans. And that’s a fact.”
“That’s quite harsh, perhaps born of pain.”
“Don’t analyze me, Kirsi. Harsh or not, it’s accurate.”
Kirsi crossed her arms. “I’m not here to convince you of anything. Just keep an open mind. And you shouldn’t worry. He has security on you through the local council.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better that Winter has his own stalker network? Proving that he’d rather control me from afar than be here?”
“Why are you so mad at him?”
“I’m not. This is about me. I’m mad at me. Do you understand? All my delusions, my schoolgirl hopes that pull me under time and again.”
“Okay, now you’re preaching to the choir,” Kirsi said, raising her cup to me before taking a sip.
“He couldn’t wait to get rid of me, if I’m being honest,” I said then took a sip. “And then he hooked up with Chazona.”
She considered my words. “I find that hard to believe.”
“You don’t have to, girlfriend. I saw it with my own eyes, which is a good thing. I caught a break. Now I’m free and I love my life here. No looking back.”
“Fair enough,” she said with a sweet smile. “That’s great.”
It really was. I was moving on. “There’s one thing I wanted to ask.”
“Fire away,” Kirsi said.
“It’s about Chaos. I’m strangely drawn to him each time he’s about to rush into battle. I don’t mean sexually, more like I should be fighting by his side.”
She furrowed her brow. “I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe he’s doing that on purpose, using his powers of suggestion. Be careful, Luna, he tried to kill me twice. Once because I defended Winter and another time because I touched his sword. He’s full-on crazy.”
Winter (Mist Riders Book 2) Page 19
