by Pu Songling
Tao went and took the civil service examinations a second time, all to no avail. In 1657, the injustices in the examination halls came to light, and many of the officials in charge of the civil service examinations were either executed or exiled, so the path to advancement through the examination system was completely wiped clean, all due to Grand Regional Inspector Zhang’s forceful action.
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Mao Chang’s . . . Book of Odes: This edition of the classic in the Confucian canon was prepared by scholar Mao in the second century B.C.E.
In the following examination, Tao received an honorable mention designation, and not long afterward received a commendation for his scholarly work from the local government. Then, disheartened that he’d reached the extent of his career prospects, he retired to live in seclusion and tutor Xiaojin. He always told people, “I’m so happy doing this, I wouldn’t give it up even for a place in the Hanlin Academy.”
The collector of these strange tales remarks, “Whenever I come to visit one of the temples dedicated to Master Zhang, I look up at his beard and bushy eyebrows, awestruck by his vitality. Then I muse that in his lifetime he was also known for a voice that sounded like thunder when he was angry, and when he’d arrive on horseback with his spear, everyone was always heartened, and people would come out to watch him set things right. The general loved martial activity so much that he’s considered on a par with Zhou Bo and Guan Ying; but how could anyone know that Wenchang would be so overtaxed with addressing corruption that it would take Marquis Zhang’s force to settle matters! Alas! Thirty-five years is such a long time to have to wait for him!”
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Hanlin Academy: The imperial academy, the most prestigious of scholarly appointments.
Zhou Bo and Guan Ying: Zhou Bo, Marquis of Jiang, was a Han dynasty general who suppressed the 154 B.C.E. Rebellion of the Seven States, which opposed Emperor Jing’s increasing attempts to centralize the government. Zhou is considered an exemplar of military discipline. From humble beginnings as a silk trader, Guan Ying eventually proved instrumental in the accession of Emperor Wen (202-157 B.C.E.), and served as Prime Minister.
340. The Rowdy Scholar
Teacher Liu reports: “In Jining there was a certain rowdy scholar who was prone to drinking; he could never stock up enough wine in his home, so as soon as he got any money he always bought more, though initially he had no intention of letting this lead to poverty and hardship. It happened that the new prefectural governor, who had just assumed office, was also fond of drinking without restraint. When he heard about the scholar’s reputation, he invited him to come and drink with him, and the scholar was pleased to accept, so they got together to chat and have a good time.
“After they became closer, the scholar was able to count on the governor for favors, so any time someone wanted a favor from the governor concerning a lawsuit, the scholar would accept their bribes and implore the governor to take care of it; the governor complied with his request each time. The scholar fell into the habit of doing this so often that the governor became fed up with him.
“One day he arrived at the governor’s office early, holding a visiting card as he ascended to the hall. The governor spotted him and gave a little laugh. In a stern voice, the scholar exclaimed, ‘You make me beg like everyone else to see if you’ll do something for me; but I deny that I’m anyone’s inferior. So what’re you laughing about! I’ve heard this said: a scholar can be killed, but not disgraced. It certainly seems to be the case that he’s not properly rewarded, so isn’t it also the case that there’s no reward for laughing?’ When he finished speaking, he roared with derisive laughter, the sound of it shaking the walls of the hall.
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Teacher Liu: Zhu identifies this as Liu Zhiyi, from Jining, a city located in modern Shandong province (3:1171-2n1).
“The governor grew angry and cried, ‘How dare you display such impertinence! Maybe you’d rather have me order the district magistrate to wipe out your family!’
“The scholar then vigorously waved his arms and loudly exclaimed, ‘I’m a scholar without a family to be wiped out!’ The governor’s anger turned to rage at this, so he ordered the scholar seized. He demanded to know where his family lived, only to learn that the scholar owned neither land nor residence, and lived with nothing more than his wife next to the walls of the city’s fortifications.
“When the governor heard this, it simplified everything, for he banished the scholar, forbidding him from living near the city’s walls. Friends who sympathized with the rowdy scholar went together to purchase him a few very small parcels of land, and then secured a tiny room for him. As he moved in to live there, he happily cried, ‘From now on, I will be afraid of this governor!’”
The collector of these strange tales remarks, “Intelligent people, who respect the law and are mindful of public behavior, wouldn’t dare rob someone in the marketplace, so a governor has nothing to punish them for! However, the reason such rulers can exercise their anger against us is because we all have families; if we’re like this man, with no cares, they’ll have nothing to use against us. Wow! This recalls the saying, ‘Poor people won’t surrender to the rich’! A poor man can behave like a gentleman. If he makes an uproar in an official’s hall just because the food and drink set out there would be enough for him to live on, he proves himself to be of low moral standing. Though no one could match this scholar’s rowdiness.”
341. The Cheng People’s Ability
Many of the people from around Cheng were able to change into all kinds of animals, and some of them happened to go outside one day for something to eat. A visitor, who’d been staying in their residence, just then spotted a bunch of rats entering a large vessel containing some rice, and when he tried to catch the rats, they just disappeared.
He waited for them to come back again, then suddenly covered the vessel, and used a wooden dipper to pour water in on top of them until in moments they were all drowned. Thus it was that virtually the entire family of the traveler’s host suffered a violent end, with only one son surviving.
An official tried this visitor in court, but the man was subsequently exonerated of guilt and pardoned.
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Cheng: Zhu notes that this geographical reference remains uncertain (3:1173n1-2).
342. Fengxian
Liu Chishui, from Pingle, proved while still young to be a person of outstanding talent. At the age of fifteen, he was accepted into the prefectural academy. Too soon, however, his parents died, and so he began drifting aimlessly, wasting all of his ability. Though his family wasn’t at all rich, he loved things that were elaborately decorated, and hence the quilt on his bed was beautifully detailed.
One night, when some people invited him over to drink with them, he left home, forgetting to extinguish his candle. After several rounds of wine, he suddenly remembered the candle and hurried back to his house.
He heard the sound of someone speaking in a quiet voice inside his room, so he hid where he could peer inside, and there he saw a young man with his arms around a beauty, lying in his bed. The mansion next door, which had been deserted by a wealthy family, was frequently the site of strange phenomena, hence Liu figured that the intruders must be foxes—yet he wasn’t afraid, so he walked in and scolded them, “Who said you could sleep in my bed!”
The two were so startled, they grabbed their clothes and ran away, naked. They left behind a pair of purple silk pantaloons, with a bag of needles fastened to its belt. Quite pleased, but also afraid that the silk garment might be stolen, Liu hid it under his bedcovers, hugging it jealously.
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Pingle: An ancient county name as far back as the Three Kingdoms era; now part of Guangxi province.
Just then, a maidservant with tousled hair opened his door a crack and then entered, confronting Liu and demanding the pantaloons from him. With
a laugh, Liu said he’d need something in exchange for it. The maidservant inquired whether he’d accept some wine, and he refused; then she offered him some gold, but again he refused. Smiling, the maidservant left.
Soon returning, she informed him, “My senior mistress says that if you’ll give it back, she’ll see that you’ll receive an ideal spouse to cuddle.”
“Who is she?” asked Liu.
“Our family’s name is Pi, and that was senior mistress, Baxian, who was lying with Master Hu; my second mistress, Shuixian, happens to be married to Official Ding of Fuchuan; third mistress, Fengxian, in comparison, is even more beautiful than her two sisters, and without a doubt you’ll agree.”
Fearing that Baxian might change her mind, he asked if he might take a seat while the maid went to confirm Baxian’s attractive offer. Accordingly, the maidservant left and then returned to report, “Senior mistress sends this message to the gentleman: ‘Can one expect wonderful things to happen all of a sudden?’ We made some suggestions to her, but she scolded us sharply; you’ll have to be patient and wait awhile, but our family doesn’t make promises and then renege on them.” Consequently, Liu handed over the pantaloons.
Several days went by, without any news. Then at dusk one day, after returning home, he shut his doors and had just taken a seat when suddenly the double doors opened by themselves and two men came in holding a quilt by its four corners, carrying a young woman in it, and declared, “We’re delivering the bride!” Laughing, they put her down on Liu’s bed and left.
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Baxian . . . Shuixian . . . Fengxian: The sisters’ names mean, respectively, “Eighth Immortal” (although the characters in her name also signify the famous Eight Immortals of Daoist lore); “Water Immortal”; and “Phoenix Immortal.”
Drawing near to examine her, he found her in a drunken slumber, her breath exhaling the scent of wine, her face flushed from drinking, sprawling so invitingly that no one could resist her. Deliriously happy, he grabbed her feet and pulled off her stockings, holding her close as he loosened her clothing.
By then Fengxian, already beginning to regain consciousness, opened her eyes and looked at Liu, unable yet to control her limbs, and resentfully cried, “That bitch Baxian went and sold me!” Liu took her into his arms passionately. The girl found his skin chilly to the touch, and with a smile cried, “Tonight of all nights, I meet up with a man who’s freezing!”
“You little beauty, you,” Liu replied, “let’s see what you can do with the freezing man!” Then they joyfully made love together.
Afterward, Fengxian exclaimed, “That shameless hussy—disgracefully sleeping around, and then trading me for her pantaloons! I’ll get back at her for sure!” Henceforth, she came to him every night, and their love for each other became ever more ardent.
On one occasion, she pulled a gold bracelet from inside her sleeve, and told Liu, “This is Baxian’s.” Then a few days later, she arrived hugging a pair of embroidered slippers of rare and exquisite design, adorned with pearls and gold thread, and advised Liu to show them to everyone he knew. Liu took them around to show off to his relatives and their guests, and after asking to see them, they offered him gifts of money and wine in gratitude, so he considered the slippers a rare commodity.
Then Fengxian came one night and explained that she had to take her leave of him. Surprised, Liu asked why, and she replied, “Elder sister hates me for swiping her slippers, so she wants to take our family far away from here, to tear our love apart.” Liu was so scared of losing her that he wanted to return everything. “There’s no need,” she told him. “She’s doing this to force my hand, and if you return them, you’ll just be giving in to what she wants.”
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A man who’s freezing: Some clever wordplay on Fengxian’s part, since she’s met the man who is to be her husband (liang 良), and his skin feels a bit chilly (liang 凉): the two distinct characters sound exactly alike. Liu’s response acknowledges the playful pun.
“Why don’t you stay behind here, by yourself?” Liu asked.
“I’d be far away from my parents,” she explained, “and there are more than ten mouths to feed in our family, supported entirely by Master Hu managing our finances, so if I don’t go with them, I’m afraid my catty sister would make us look bad.” Following this, she didn’t return again.
Two years went by, with Liu missing her sorely. It happened that he was traveling along a road when he met a young woman riding a meandering horse led by an old servant, her shoulder brushing his as she passed; when she lifted up her gauze veil to peek at him, he noted that she was stunningly attractive.
Moments later, a young man came by. “What lady is that?” asked Liu. “She’s really quite beautiful.” Liu offered exuberant praise of her.
The young man then folded his hands in modest salute, and with a smile exclaimed, “Such effusive praise! This is my wife.” Liu, startled and embarrassed, apologized for his behavior. The young man replied, “No reason not to say so. Yet of Nanyang’s three Zhuges, you received the dragon, so I guess you’ve already said plenty about mine!” Liu had no idea what he was talking about.
The young man said, “Don’t you recognize the intruder who was sleeping in your bed?” Liu realized that this must be Master Hu. In chatting, the brothers-in-law became friends, and enjoyed teasing each other merrily. “Father-in-law and mother-in-law have just returned home,” Hu told him, “and we were about to go pay them a visit, so would you be able to go along with us?”
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Nanyang’s three Zhuges . . . the dragon: The strategist hero of The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Zhuge Liang (also known, due to his dormant talents waiting for a noble application, as “the sleeping dragon”), lived at Nanyang with his uncle, Zhuge Xuan, and his brother, Zhuge Jin.
Liu, happy to do so, followed them into the mountains to a residence where one of the men from his home district had gone to live whenever times became chaotic. There, Baxian dismounted and went inside. Soon, several people came out and called, “Master Liu has come, too.” Then the visitors went inside the gates to see their inlaws.
Another young man had already arrived there, dressed in boots and gown that were dazzlingly attractive. “This is Fuchuan’s Master Ding, my other son-in-law,” the old man explained. After exchanging respectful greetings, they were invited to sit down.
Moments later, quantities of wine and meat began arriving frenetically while everyone laughed and chatted in perfect congeniality. The old man announced, “Today, my three son-in-laws have all come, so we can definitely call this a special occasion. And since there’s no one else around, we can call for our children to come, and make a family reunion out of the gathering.”
Presently, the three daughters all came out. Their father directed each of them to their banquet seats near his sons-in-law. When Baxian saw Liu, she covered her mouth and giggled; Fengxian kept teasing him; Shuixian, whose beauty was slightly inferior to her sisters’, was dignified, gentle, and restrained, but while everyone else was enjoying earnest conversation, she simply held her wine cup and smiled.
Soon, slippers and shoes were crossing each other, everyone could scent the fragrance of musk, and their wine drinking gave them great pleasure. Beside a low couch, Liu noticed a collection of musical instruments all ready to play, so he picked up a jade flute, and asked old Master Pi to if he might celebrate his father-in-law’s longevity with a song.
This pleased the old man, who directed everyone to take up the instruments they knew, and in no time they were contending for the available instruments; only Ding and Fengxian didn’t pick one up. Baxian remarked to her sister, “While Master Ding may not have any particular musical ability, you can still wrap your fingers around this, can’t you?” Accordingly, she tossed a rhythm clapper to Fengxian.
Then the ensemble began to play with many different musical voices. “A family member’s music is alway
s the best of all!” exclaimed old Master Pi. “The children can all sing and dance, so why not have each demonstrate what she can do?”
Baxian stood up, grabbed Shuixian, and said, “Fengxian always thinks her voice is precious beyond measure, so I don’t dare ask her to join us; we two can sing a song called ‘Concubine of the River Luo.’” When the two had finished singing and dancing, a maidservant brought out some kind of fruit on a golden platter, but no one knew what the fruit was called.
The old man said, “This was brought from Cambodia, where they call it jackfruit.” Then he picked up a number of them with both hands and placed them in front of Ding.
Fengxian was unhappy with this and demanded, “Why is it that the poverty or wealth of your sons-in-law determines whether they’re favored or neglected?” Old Pi smiled slightly, but didn’t say anything.
“Daddy gave them to him because he’s from a distant county,” Baxian replied, “and hence he’s a guest. If you’re going to talk about preference among family members, then what about the fact that only Fengxian, of all her sisters, has a husband who won’t share what he has with our family?”
Fengxian continued to be displeased, and taking off her colorful apparel, handed the rhythm clapper to a maidservant, then performed a version of “The Ruined Cave,” weeping as she sang; once she’d finished, she shook her sleeves in frustration and left straightaway, which made everyone sitting there feel bad.
Baxian commented, “The little minx is just as high-minded as ever.” Then they chased after her, but no one could tell where she’d gone. Liu couldn’t face them, so he also took his leave and headed home.
When he was halfway there he saw Fengxian sitting by the side of the road, calling for him to come over and sit beside her, as she remarked, “You’re my husband, yet you can’t spit out anything in defense of your wife? The way to golden dwellings is through studying books—so I hope you’ll try to do better.” She lifted her foot and said, “When I ran out so hastily, some thorns damaged my slippers again. Do you happen to have the ones I gave you at hand?”
