“Well, not if I have anything to say about it.” She smiles wide and wiggles her eyebrows before taking another drink of her wine.
I’m seconds away from saying something I probably shouldn’t when the doorbell rings.
“Ahhh!” Court squeals, jumping to her feet. She’s got the door open and Tess in her arms before I have even managed to stand from the couch.
Tess catches my gaze over Court’s shoulder and gives me a questioning look. I shake my head letting her know that no, I haven’t talked to Courtney about Ant. At this rate, I’m not sure I can.
I’m not sure if she’s actually interested in Ant still or if she’s just looking for a hook up with her hot ex. With Court, it’s hard to tell. And unfortunately, she has no idea that my heart kind of hangs in the balance.
I know it would be easier to just tell her the truth and be straight up with her, but sometimes it’s not always that simple. This is a delicate situation, and if I don’t handle it just right, I could end up losing Courtney and Anthony both. And that is a loss I honestly don’t think I could bear.
Courtney is my family, and Ant… Let’s just say I’ve never felt a fraction of what I feel for him for anyone else. I didn’t know what I had been missing—things that Tess and Sebastian fought years for—until Ant kissed me that first time.
And I now that I’ve had a taste, now that I know what love can feel like, I’m not sure I have it in me to let him go; no matter what the cost.
Five years earlier- Eighteen years old
“Dude, you look like shit.” I look across the lunch table where Sebastian is picking at his food and trying his best not to look like his world didn’t just end.
Lunch period is almost over, and all our other friends have already left the cafeteria to head to their next class. Meanwhile, Sebastian is still sitting in the same place having not actually eaten one thing on his plate.
“Well, then it reflects how I feel,” he grumbles, pushing the still full tray of food away from him as he leans back in his chair.
“Why don’t you just talk to her?” I ask, still not fully understanding why he recently ended things with his girlfriend, Tess.
Those two have been joined at the hip for nearly a year, and then all of sudden they’re over. And let me just tell you, he’s been an absolute fucking bear the last two weeks since everything went down.
“Why don’t you?” he bites, turning the tables on me and the fact that I too, recently broke up with my girlfriend, though my reasoning was completely different.
“I have nothing left to say to Courtney. Things weren’t going anywhere for us, I told her as much. But you and Tess, dude, you were a forever thing.”
I glance over my shoulder where Court, Tess, and Bree are currently grouped together, talking quietly amongst themselves. I hate that my gaze is immediately drawn to Bree, but I can’t help it. That girl has consumed my thoughts more over the last six months than I would ever admit to anyone.
“Forever,” Sebastian snorts, pulling my attention back to him. “Forever is a fucking long time for a girl I’ve only known a year.” I can tell even he doesn’t believe his words, but he says them anyway.
Typical Sebastian. Always putting on this front like he’s untouchable.
“Whatever, man. We both know you’re full of it right now. I get that some shit went down between the two of you, but you just need to man up and fucking face it. Or let it go and get the fuck over it because this shit is pathetic.”
I realize I’m being harsh, but Sebastian knows I just want what’s best for him. Lord knows I’m the only one who will just tell him like it fucking is.
“I’ve let it go.” He gives me an angry glare across the table. “Now can we please talk about something else?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Did you tell her it was Bree?” It takes me a second to realize what he’s asking me.
“Did I tell her what was Bree?”
“The girl you have feelings for—does Courtney know you broke up with her because you have a thing for one of her best friends? Her very pregnant best friend.”
“What the hell are you talking about, man?” I try to play stupid, but clearly, I’m a hell of a lot more transparent than I realized.
“I’ve known you since we were in diapers. Do you really think I can’t tell when you’re digging someone?” He shakes his head at me. “So what’s your play?” he continues when I don’t comment.
“What do you mean?”
“You broke up with Court. Are you planning on moving in on Bree? I gotta say, man, I don’t think she’d go for it. Even if she is into you too, she’d never fuck with Court like that. You know those three are as close as friends can be. Not to mention, Bree’s about to pop with another man’s child. You don’t want to put yourself in the middle of that fucking mess.”
“I’m not moving in on anyone.” I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Then why end things with Courtney if you have no intentions of pursuing the girl you broke up with her for?”
“Because my heart wasn’t fucking in it, and I didn’t feel right stringing her along,” I grind out.
“You’ve been stringing her along for months, now you care?”
I try to swallow down the anger his statement boils in my chest, but I do a shit job of it.
“I haven’t been stringing her along, asshole,” I bite, even though deep down I know he’s right; even if that was never my intention.
“Kind of looks like you have.”
“I care about Courtney, and for a while, I was pretty into her. But I don’t know. There’s just something about Bree, this weird connection we have. The more time I spent with her, the less time I wanted to spend with Courtney.”
“You realize how fucked up that sounds, right?”
“Trust me, I do. But I never acted on anything. I never cheated on Court. I feel like I did right by her when I ended things. And no, before you ask, I’m not going to tell Bree how I feel. Besides, like you said, she’d never go for it anyway. Not to mention, I wouldn’t want to hurt Court like that. I don’t know, dude.” I blow out a loud breath. “I just need to get the fuck out of here.”
“Won’t be long now. Can you believe we have less than two weeks of school left?”
“Seems unreal,” I agree.
“I can’t fucking wait. The sooner I get out of this place, the sooner I don’t have to see Tess look at me the way she’s looking at me right now.” His gaze is once again focused across the room where the three girls sit.
“Dude, stop torturing yourself.”
“Yeah, easier said than done,” he grumbles, quickly standing.
I mirror his actions, following him across the cafeteria to dispose of our lunch trays before exiting the near empty room.
“Chin up, dude. Shit will get better.” I do a crap job at reassuring Sebastian, but if I’m being honest, all this shit makes me super uncomfortable.
I’m not much of a feelings dude. I mean, I have them, of course. I’ve just always been someone who keeps that kind of shit locked in deep. I’m not a cold-hearted asshole or anything. But I don’t do well in emotional situations. And Sebastian is all kinds of emotional right now which makes him pretty unbearable to be around.
“I hear you.” He gives me a quick nod before veering right toward his locker while I continue on straight to mine.
I no more than get my locker open before I hear Bree’s voice behind me.
“What the hell is wrong with your boy?” I turn to find her standing directly to my right, her arms crossed over her chest, resting on her very large pregnant belly.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” I shake my head, pulling out my Science and History books before shutting my locker and turning fully to face Bree.
“He’s an idiot if he lets her go.” She stretches out an arm, pointing down the hallway to no one in particular.
“I agree, but he’s stubborn as shit and there’s nothing I can do. I’ve tried talki
ng to him. It doesn’t do me any good.”
“Well, try harder. Those two are meant to be. Everyone can see it.”
“I can’t try any harder. Sebastian’s made up his mind that it’s better to end things now before he leaves for LSU.” To this, she rolls her eyes.
“Bullshit.”
“Trust me, I agree. But he’s convinced he’s doing what’s best for her. Honestly, I think he’s fucking scared.”
“What would he be scared of? Those two have been head over heels for months? Why get cold feet now?”
“Because now it’s getting real. He’s leaving, and she’s staying.”
“I hate this.” She pouts out her bottom lip. “I hate seeing Tess like this. I’ve never seen her so down before. I can’t handle it.”
“I don’t like seeing Sebastian like this either. Especially when all he has to do is suck it up and just talk to her.”
“Seriously, she would take him back without a second thought.”
“I know. But as much as we would like to, we can’t control what they do. Either they will work it out or they won’t.”
“I can’t even entertain the possibility that they won’t work it out. Sebastian and Tess are forever.”
“A lot of things change, though. You don’t always know.”
“Stop being so pessimistic and let me have this.” She huffs.
“Yes, ma’am.” I chuckle when she throws me a sideways glare.
“And what about you?” she asks, walking next to me as I turn and head down the hallway.
“What about me?” I try my best to keep my eyes forward and not look at her. Weird shit happens to me when I look into those damn golden eyes.
“You have any plans to fix whatever the hell is going on with you and Courtney?” she asks straight out.
Just another thing I admire about this girl. She will tell you like it is without a moment’s hesitation. I hope that’s a quality she never loses.
“There’s nothing to fix.” I shake my head. “It was fun while it lasted, but I’m leaving for Boston soon and it wouldn’t have worked.”
“You expect me to believe that shit reasoning?” she questions, glaring at the side of my face.
“Well, that shit reasoning is the truth.” I finally look at her, and my God if she isn’t even more beautiful today than she was yesterday, pregnant belly and all.
“Men. You’re all assholes,” she grumbles.
“Hey, I thought we were friends.” I knock my hip gently against her.
“So did I. But then you go and break my best friend’s heart. Now I’m not sure I like you very much.”
“I didn’t break her heart. In fact, she seemed to take everything pretty well.”
“That’s just Court. You know she plays tough. You’re the asshole who hurt her, therefore you’re now the enemy.”
“Don’t be like that. You know you love me,” I tease, watching her trying to fight the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
“You’re infuriating,” she groans.
“Why’s that?”
“You know why,” she simply states, but doesn’t elaborate beyond that.
Even though Bree and Courtney are best friends, it doesn’t negate the friendship Bree and I have formed over the past few years. And while she gives me shit about Courtney, she’s been really good about keeping the two relationships separate from each other. Had I really hurt Courtney, like cheated on her, I know that wouldn’t be the case.
“Are you excited about Boston?” She changes subjects, and I’m thankful for the shift in conversation.
“I’m ready to get the hell out of here, that’s for sure,” I say, not even allowing myself to think how true that statement is.
“Yeah, me too,” she admits.
“California will be good for you. I think it will help to get away from Blake and all the bullshit that’s happened this year.”
“It will definitely be nice to not be looked at as the crazy slut anymore.”
“Hey.” I stop walking just feet from my Science class and gently pull her off to the side. “No one sees you like that.”
“Bullshit.” She lets out a sad laugh.
“Bree,” I object.
“I appreciate you trying to be my friend, Ant, I really do. But I know what people say about me. And honestly, they’re not completely wrong. I’m not proud of it, but I also can’t change it. At least in California I can be someone new, reinvent myself.”
“I think I might do a little reinventing while I’m at it as well.”
“Oh shut up.” She rolls her eyes at me. “Why would you want to reinvent yourself when you’re already Mr. Perfect.” She smacks my forearm playfully.
“Mr. Perfect, huh?” I tease. “See I knew you loved me,” I say with a wink.
“Ugh. On that note, I’ve gotta get to class.” She spins around to head in the opposite direction.
“It’s okay to admit it, Kingsley,” I call after her.
“I admit nothing,” she hollers back without turning around.
I laugh, waiting until she’s rounded the corner before finally turning and heading into class.
“He sleeping?” Tess appears in the hallway just as I step out of Jackson’s room.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “Poor guy was exhausted.”
“Lots of excitement today.” She grins. “I’m gonna use the bathroom, and I’ll be back out.”
“Okay,” I acknowledge, turning toward the living room.
“Hey, Bree.” Tess’ hand closes down around my arm before I can even take one step, pulling my gaze back to her.
“Are you going to tell her?” She doesn’t need to elaborate for me to know who and what she’s referring to.
“I don’t think now is the best time.”
“There isn’t going to be a good time.” She gives me a sad smile, releasing my arm. “You’re just going to have to do it.”
“I know. I will. But she just got here, and I don’t want to ruin our night talking about something that can wait until tomorrow.”
“I understand. But you need to tell her while she’s here. The longer you keep it from her, the worse it will be.”
“I know.” I hate how agitated I sound, but I can’t help it—I am agitated.
I know what I have to do, and I know how hard it’s going to be. Truth be told, I haven’t a hundred percent decided if I’m even going to go through with it. While yes, I want to be with Ant, I will step back if I think Courtney is still interested, and I mean in more than just a hookup.
“I don’t mean to push.” Tess pushes open the bathroom door, stopping just inside the door frame. “I’m just trying to do what’s right by both of you.”
“I know.” I force a smile, letting out a long breath the second the bathroom door closes, leaving me alone in the dim hallway with a million things swirling through my head.
I can’t be angry with Tess for insisting I talk to Court. I know what a horrible position I’ve put her in, stuck in the middle of a secret between her two best friends; it can’t be easy for her. But I also have to think about the bigger picture too. I can’t rush in guns blazing. I need to ease my way in, feel Courtney out.
Court is curled up on the couch when I enter the living room. She looks up from her cell phone when she hears me enter.
“Took you long enough.” She huffs playfully.
“Sorry. He should sleep the rest of the night.” I plop down in the armchair directly across from her.
“Do not apologize to me,” she scolds. “I was just giving you shit.” She glances back down at her phone, types something on the screen and then drops it on the coffee table. “I still can’t get over how big my little man has gotten. And Kindergarten, I can’t believe he’s getting ready to start school.”
“I know,” I agree, more than a little nervous that in less than two weeks Jackson will be starting his first year of real school.
“Just think, we were only two years older than him wh
en we all became friends.” She makes a circular motion with her hand just as Tess enters the room. “That’s seriously hard to wrap my head around.”
“What are we talking about?” Tess questions, taking the spot on the couch opposite Court.
“That Jackson is only two years younger than we were when we became friends,” Court repeats.
“That really is pretty crazy when you think about it,” Tess agrees. “God, has it really been that long?”
“Feels like forever, doesn’t it? I can’t remember a time without you girls in my life.” Court smiles, leaning forward to retrieve her glass of wine from the table in front of her.
“Me either,” I agree.
“I feel like we’ve been through so much together,” Court continues.
“Probably because we have.” Tess chuckles. “Fights, break-ups, first loves, parent divorces, death; you name it, we’ve experienced it together.”
“I swear I would kill for you girls.” Court looks from Tess to me and then back to Tess. “Like straight slit a throat if I had to.” She grins.
“I could totally see that.” Tess nods, smile wide.
“Well, let’s hope it never comes to that.” I shake my head, standing for a brief moment to grab my still full wine glass from the coffee table before sliding back down into my seat.
“Do you remember in fifth grade how bad Trenton Avers used to pick on Tess?” Court asks.
“He would pull her hair every time she would walk by, and he called her bear trap because of her braces,” I continue her thought.
“And then one day he did it in front of Court as we were lining up for the bus, and she whacked him in the face with her book bag,” Tess laughs. “Knocked him straight on his ass.”
“Told him that if he ever so much as looked at you again that she would cut off his little pee pee and feed it to her dog,” I add, smiling at the memory.
“I got in so much trouble over that,” Court chuckles. “Totally worth it, though.”
“You saved me big time.” Tess stands, disappearing into the kitchen as she continues to talk. “Trenton didn’t even look at me again for the rest of the year.” She reappears with a fresh glass of wine in one hand and a near empty bottle in her other.
When Dawn Breaks Page 14
