Bane

by Brenda Jackson

  Tears reappeared in her eyes and she swiped them away. “That’s the thing, Bane. I didn’t know. I was late but I’d been late before, you know that. So I really didn’t think anything about it. I was trying to fit into a new school and was focusing on my studies. It was nearing the end of January and I was looking forward to you coming to get me by June. Silly me, I figured even if you didn’t know where I was that you would look for me until you found me.

  “Anyway, I got really bad stomach pains one night. When I went to the bathroom I noticed I was bleeding profusely and woke up my aunt. She took me to the emergency room and after checking me over, the doctor told me I’d been pregnant and had lost the baby. They kept me in the hospital overnight because I’d lost a lot of blood.”

  She swiped at her eyes again. “How can a woman be pregnant and not know it? How could I have carried your baby—our baby—in my body and not know it? That seemed so unfair, Bane. So unfair. The doctor was a nice woman. She said miscarriages weren’t uncommon and usually happen within the early weeks of pregnancy. I figured I’d gotten pregnant on our wedding night so I was less than eight weeks along. She assured me it wasn’t because of anything I did, and that my next pregnancy should go smoothly.”

  A deep pain sliced through Bane. It had been his baby as well, and at that moment he mourned for the loss of a life that would never be. A baby that had been a part of him and a part of her. He wanted to reach out and pull Crystal into his arms. Hold her. Share the pain. He felt he had every right to do that. But then he also felt she’d put an invisible wall between them and he would need to tear it down, piece by piece.

  “I’m sorry about our baby,” he said, meaning every word. It was true he’d gotten careless on their wedding night. It had been the first time they’d ever spent the entire night together, wrapped in each other’s arms, and he had been so overjoyed he’d gotten carried away and hadn’t used a condom. “I never deserted you, Crystal. I could no more do that than cut off my arm. Do you have any idea what I went through when we were apart?” he asked softly. “How much I suffered each day not knowing where you were?”

  “I called you.”

  “When?”

  “As soon as I could get away from my parents. They kept an eye on me during the entire plane trip to South Carolina, but when the plane landed I went into the ladies’ room and asked some woman to use her cell phone. It was around five hours after we parted.”

  Bane frowned. He hadn’t gotten her call. But then he figured it out. “I know the reason why you couldn’t reach me,” he said, remembering that day. “I was at the cabin, and there’s no phone reception out there.”

  He paused and then added, “After Sheriff Harper told me you’d left Denver, I stormed out of the police station and got into my truck and went to your parents’ place and found it deserted. I drove around awhile, getting angrier by the minute. Somehow I ended up at the cabin and I stayed there for two whole days. On the third day Riley came and convinced me to go home with him.”

  She nodded. “That’s probably why I still couldn’t reach you the next night, either. I waited until everyone had gone to bed and sneaked downstairs and used my aunt’s phone. I couldn’t get you, which was just as well because Dad caught me trying. He got upset all over again, and said he knew I would try calling you and figured it was time for me to know the truth.”

  Bane frowned. “What truth?”

  “That he and your brother Dillon had met when we first went missing and made a deal.”

  “What kind of a deal?”

  “The two of them agreed that when we were found, Dillon would keep you away from me and Dad was to keep me away from you.”

  “That’s a damn lie!” Bane said bluntly, feeling red-hot anger flow through him.

  “How can you be so sure?”

  Her question only infuriated him more. “First of all, Dil doesn’t operate that way. Second, Dillon wasn’t even in Denver when we eloped. He was somewhere in Wyoming following up on leads to learn more about my great-grandfather Raphel. Ramsey called Dil but he didn’t get home until after we were found.”

  Bane angrily rubbed his hand over his head. “I can’t believe you fell for what your dad said. You knew how much he despised the Westmorelands. Did you honestly think he and Dillon sat down and talked about anything?”

  She lifted her chin. “I didn’t want to believe it but...”

  “But what?”

  “I called you twice and you didn’t take my calls.”

  “I didn’t take them because I didn’t get them,” he said.

  “Well, I didn’t know that.”

  “You should have.”

  “Well, I didn’t. And when you finally called me...two months later...it was to tell me you were going into the navy and it would be best for us to go our separate ways.”

  His frown deepened. “The reason it was two months later was because it took me that long to find out where you’d gone. And Bailey had to pickpocket your dad’s phone to find out then. And as far as saying it was best for us to go our separate ways, that’s not what I said.”

  “Pretty much sounded like it to me.”

  Had it? Frustrated, he leaned back in his seat, trying to recall what he’d said. Joining the navy had been a hard decision, but he’d made it after talking to his cousin Dare, who’d been in the marines. He’d also talked to Riley’s best friend Pete. Pete’s brother, Matthew, had joined the navy a few years before, and Pete had told Bane how much money Matthew had saved and how the military had trained him to work on aircrafts. Bane had figured going into the navy would not only teach him a skill but also get him out of Denver for a while. Being there without Crystal had made him miserable.

  As he recalled all he’d said to her that day, he could see why she’d assumed it was a break-up call, considering the lie her father had told her. His only saving grace had been the promises he’d made to her that he would keep his wedding vows and would come back for her. That made him wonder...

  “You think I deserted you. Did you not believe me when I told you that I would come for you once I made something of myself? And that I would keep my wedding vows?” he asked.

  She glanced out the window before looking over at him. “Yes, at the time I believed you, although I sort of resented you for putting me out of your life even for a little while, for whatever the reason.”

  Her words took him by surprise. How could she think he would do such a thing? And she had said, “at the time I believed you.” Did that mean at some point in time she had stopped believing? Now he wondered if he’d made a grave mistake not keeping the lines of communication open between them.

  “I never put you out of my life and I had every intention of coming back for you. That never changed, Crystal. I thought about you every day. Sometimes every hour, minute and second. I longed for you. I went to bed every night needing you. There were days when I wasn’t sure I could go on without you and wanted to give up. That’s why I made sure Bailey didn’t tell me where you were. Had I known, I would have given up for sure and come after you. And had you told me about your miscarriage, nothing would have stopped me from coming for you. Navy or no navy.”

  Unable to stop himself, he released his seat belt and reached out and unfastened hers before pulling her across the console to hold her in his arms.

  * * *

  Crystal buried her face in Bane’s chest. She couldn’t stop her tears from flowing and was surprised she had any tears left to shed. She’d figured she had gone through all of them when the doctor had broken the news to her that day that she had lost her baby. And then getting Bane’s call, the same day she’d come home from the hospital, had been too much.

  Her aunt Rachel had been wonderful and understanding, the one to hold Crystal each time she wept. And when she’d begged her aunt not to tell her parents about the baby, her au
nt had given Crystal her word that she wouldn’t. Whether it had been his intention or not, his phone call that day had made her feel as if he was turning his back on them and their love. Deserting her. It had been her aunt who had persuaded her to pull herself together and make decisions about her life...with or without Bane. So she had made them without him. But each time Bailey had called after that, a part of her had hoped it was Bane instead of his cousin. Then, when it had gotten too much for her to deal with, she’d had her number changed.

  After listening to Bane’s words just now, she remembered all too well how she had thought about him every day, sometimes every hour, minute and second, as well. He had longed for her, gone to bed needing her, and she had done the same for him. At one point she had been tempted to go to Denver to find him. But then she’d known he wouldn’t be there and hadn’t a clue where he would be. And at some point, how had he expected her not to doubt he still cared when he hadn’t contacted her in five years?

  “I’m fine now, Bane,” she said, pushing back from him and wiping away her tears.

  He looked down at her with an intense scrutiny that sent shivers through her body. “Are you, Crystal? Are you fine? Or will you hold it against me for wanting to give you the best of me?”

  “I thought I already had the best of you, Bane. You didn’t hear me complaining, did you?”

  He didn’t say anything and she used that time to scramble out of his lap and back into her seat. She stared out the window and could see from the reflection in the glass that he was staring at her.

  Without turning back around to him, she asked, “Have you decided where we’re going?”

  He started the ignition. “Yes, I know where we’re going.”

  Instead of telling her where, he pulled the car out of the parking spot and headed back to the main road.

  Nine

  “I’ll take the bed closer to the door, Crystal,” Bane said, dropping his luggage on the floor by the bed.

  Instead of answering him, she merely nodded and rolled her luggage over to the other bed. Figuring that she had missed dinner, he’d stopped at an all-night diner to grab orders of chicken and waffles. Then he had driven four hours before finally settling at this hotel for the night. During that time she hadn’t said one word to him, not a one. And her silence bothered the hell out of him. How could she be upset with him for wanting to give her a better life? How could she think he’d deserted her? It now seemed that not keeping in contact with her had been a mistake, but what she failed to understand was that she was his weakness.

  She said she would have been satisfied with him just the way he was. Flaws and all. But she deserved more. Deserved better. No matter what she thought, he would always believe that. He would admit he had been separated from her longer than he’d planned, and for that he would take the blame. Five years was a long time to expect her to put her life on hold. But that was just it. He hadn’t expected her to put her life on hold. He had expected her to make something worthwhile out of it, like he had been doing with his. And she had. She had finished high school, earned both bachelor and master’s degrees and was now working on her PhD. All during the five years he’d been gone. Why couldn’t she understand that when he’d decided to go into the navy, he’d believed that he was giving them both the chance to be all that they could be, while knowing in the end they would be together? They would always be together. Although he’d loved her more than life, he had been willing to make the sacrifice. Why hadn’t she? Had he been wrong to assume that no matter what, their love would be strong enough to survive anything? Even a long separation?

  “I need to take a shower.”

  His heart nearly missed a beat upon hearing the sound of her voice again. At least she was back to talking to him. “All right. I figure we’ll check out after breakfast and head south.”

  “South?”

  “Yes, but that might change depending on any reports I get from people I have checking on a few things.”

  “Is that what that Code Purple was all about?”

  So she had been listening. “Yes. That’s a code for my team. It means one of us is in trouble and all hands on deck.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  She then opened her luggage and dismissed him again. He placed his own travel bag on the bed and opened it. The first thing he came to was the satchel containing all the cards and letters he’d saved for her over the years. He had looked forward to finally giving them to her. But now...

  “You haven’t heard anything else about my home, have you?”

  He looked over at her. Although she’d taken several naps while he’d been driving, she still looked tired and exhausted. However, fatigued or not, to him she looked beautiful. “No. Flip has everything under control.”

  She nodded before gathering a few pieces of clothing under her arms and heading for the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Deciding he would really try hard to not let her attitude affect his, he took the satchel and walked over to place it on her bed. It was hers. He had kept it for her and had lived for years just waiting for the day when he could give it to her. He wouldn’t let the bitterness she felt keep him from giving it to her.

  His phone beeped, letting him know he’d received a text message. He glanced at his watch. It was two in the morning. He pulled his phone from his jacket and read Flip’s message. All quiet here.

  He texted back. Let’s hope things stay that way.

  He tried to ignore the sound of running water. He could just imagine Crystal stripping off her clothes for her shower. He would love being in there with her, taking pleasure in stepping beneath the spray of water with her, lathering her body and then making love to her. He would press her against the wall, lift her up so her legs encircled his waist and then he would ease inside her. How many nights had he lain in bed and fantasized of doing that very thing?

  To take his mind off his need to make love to his wife, he glanced around the hotel room, checking things out in case they needed to make a quick getaway. This room was definitely a step up from the one they’d shared on their wedding night. He’d taken her to a nice enough hotel in Utah, but tonight’s room was more spacious. The beds looked warm and inviting and the decor eye-catching.

  Crystal had accompanied him inside when he’d booked the room. He could feel her body tense up beside him when he’d told the hotel clerk he wanted one room. He’d then heard her sigh of relief when he’d added that he wanted a room with two beds.

  He lifted a brow when his cell phone went off and he recognized the ringtone. It was a call from home. Dillon. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket again. “Yes, Dil?”

  “You didn’t call to let us know you’d made it to Dallas. Is everything okay?”

  How could he tell his brother that no, everything wasn’t okay? “Yes, I made it to Dallas. Sorry, I didn’t call but things got kind of crazy.”

  “Crazy? Were you able to find Crystal?”

  “Yes, went straight to her place but...”

  “But the warm, cozy, loving reception that you had expected isn’t what you got.”

  He shook his head. His brother could say that again. “I figured we would have to work through some issues, but I didn’t expect her to open the door with a loaded gun in her hand, her luggage packed and a bunch of bad guys trying to kidnap her.”

  There was a pause and then Dillon said, “I think you need to start from the beginning, Bane.”

  * * *

  Crystal toweled herself off and tried not to think of the man on the other side of the door. The man she had shared her first kiss with. Her body. The man who had been her best friend. The one who’d defied her father’s threat of jail time just to be with her. And the man who was her husband.

  She glanced at herself in the mirror. Did Bane see the changes? Did he like what he saw? She couldn’t attribute h
er figure to spending time in the gym or anything. The changes had just happened. One day she was thin and then the next, right after she’d turned twenty, the curves had come. The guys at college had noticed it, too, and tried causing problems. That was when she wished she’d had a wedding ring on her finger that would have deterred their interest. Instead, she had this, she thought, glancing at her locket.

  She brought it to her lips and kissed it. It had been what had kept her sane over the past five years. She would look at it and think of Bane and remember the promise. Even on those days she hadn’t wanted to remember or thought he’d possibly forgotten.

  Her heart began thumping in her chest when she recalled how he had looked at her a few times tonight. The last had been when she’d told him she was going to take a shower. Nobody could turn her on quicker with a mere look than Brisbane Westmoreland. When he had leveled those hazel eyes on her, she could feel her skin get flushed. He was the only one in his family with that eye color, which he’d inherited from his great-grandmother.

  She slid into a pair of sweats and then pulled on an oversize T-shirt. Looking into the mirror again, she nervously licked her lips as she thought of Bane. What a man. What a man. She even used her hands to fan herself. A number of times on the ride tonight she had pretended to be asleep just so she could study him without him knowing she was doing so. If his eyes weren’t bad enough, he had an adorable set of lashes. Almost too long to be a man’s. He had taken off his jacket and she couldn’t help but appreciate the breadth of his shoulders. Bane was so well toned that it was obvious he lifted weights or something. SEALs were known to stay in shape. If it was required of them, then he was passing that test with flying colors.

  Knowing she had spent more time than she needed in the bathroom, she gathered up her clothes in her arms and slowly opened the door. She saw Bane sitting at the desk staring at a laptop.