Booth and the rest of the patches questioned me on what mum might want other than to see me suffer. For Callie to do mum’s bidding she would have had to be offered something worthwhile.
“Kelsey can you think of anything that you might have in the house that is worth money? Anything that your mother might want, that is worth money?” Booth asked me gently. Ten minutes ago, Jason brought me into the war room, the inner sanctum of the Wounded Souls’ compound. A place the women told me only saw Shiloh enter, the only time the women were allowed in was when trouble brewed.
The room was like something out of Top Gun, glass panels with notes written on them in texta, maps of the town covered one wall, large computer monitors that looked more like large TV screens. The huge wooden table had a carved image of the club’s logo in the middle, winged back leather chairs dotted either side. It was very impressive to a simple woman like myself. The furniture in my house hadn’t been replaced since my grandmother passed away, my mother not interested in the latest styles or renovating. That would have taken too much of her booze and drug money, and my grandmother’s will stated the house and contents belonged to me, not allowing mum to sell a single stick or curtain.
Thank god, I liked the old-fashioned vibe of my home.
Jason’s fingers tickled at my hipbone, reminding me where I was and what I should be doing.
Focus Kelsey, this is for the safety of not just you. Memphis already got caught in the crossfire, thankfully unscathed, well mostly. It was the kid’s safety that concerned me, the last thing I wanted was for one of those sweet cherubs to suffer.
“Um, no not really.” I did a mental stocktake of the house, apart from gran’s jewellery there wasn’t much of value. Even though the furniture couldn’t be sold, mum still had an appraiser come to the house once to see if any of the contents were antique. The man left grumbling she had wasted his time.
“The furniture isn’t worth more than scrap, and the jewellery she left me is costume. Fake stones, muck metal, that sort of thing. A pretty locket but it is jammed shut with rust. I don’t know if there is even a photo in it, and if there is it will just be one of my grandfather.”
“Kels, do you mind if we take a look around the house? See if we can find anything you haven’t thought of or don’t know is there?” Deck asked me.
Shrugging I nodded at him. “Go for it, fresh eyes might help,” I agreed immediately, willing to do anything if it helped bring this nightmare to a quick and peaceful end.
One week later, and three ‘sweeps’ as the men called it of the house and no one came up with a single treasure. Jason got the locket opened and as I predicted, there had just been an old worn and faded photo of granddad. The locket itself deemed cheap by Ford, and the inscription in it no one could make sense of. No letters just four numbers engraved on the back, a birthdate maybe, or a combination to something. Whatever it meant it didn’t mean a thing to me.
Lost in my own jumbled thoughts I missed the large mound of rubble in front of me, nearly toppling over it. Catching myself, I stopped from falling but a wave of dizziness overcame me all of a sudden.
“Whoa,” I breathed, holding a hand to my forehead, taking a few deep gulps.
The dizziness got worse, black spots danced behind my lids, and sweat started beading over my face.
“Holy shit, whoa,” I said again, a little more worried this time.
Slowly turning around, I looked frantically around the jobsite for Jason, finally spotting him about a hundred metres away standing near some earth moving equipment.
Raising my fingers to my mouth, I managed to let out a whistle loud enough to snag his attention.
“Jason! Help!” I squeaked, nausea building low in my belly. Then the most embarrassing thing happened.
I vomited.
All over my shirt.
Disgusting.
“Kels? Shit baby!” Jason called out, his feet eating up the distance between us as he ran to me.
Retching again, I barfed up the potato chips I’d had for a snack after I’d eaten three chocolate bars and half of Jason’s hamburger for lunch.
Damn, such a waste. I grieved the loss of my delicious food.
“Oh Mermaid, are you okay sweetheart?” Jason asked me, all concerned and not at all sounding grossed out that he was mere centimetres from a pile of throw up.
“Get back Jason, I might have something contagious babe,” I warned, holding my hands out in front of me. “Either that or I ate too much junk food.”
Jason glanced at the mess at his feet then back up at me with a smirk. “Ya think? I see my hamburger in there.” He laughed, taking a rag from the back pocket of his jeans and handing it to me.
Taking the cloth, I did my best to clean myself up and forget that the dizzy spell I suffered still had a hold of me.
“Come on Kels, let’s get you out of the sun. It could be heatstroke again not the food you inhaled at lunch.”
“Ha, ha,” I grumbled, but the black haze was back, my legs went slack, Jason’s urgent shout vaguely registered just before my eyes fluttered closed. The last memory was Jason’s strong arms wrapping around me saving me from falling in the pile of my puke.
“Jason will you please sit down. Pacing is not going to make the doctor appear any quicker,” I complained, watching Jason pace the five steps to the end of the curtained off cubicle, turn then do it all over again to the other side. He had been at it for over an hour, and truth be told I had the urge to throw something hard at him.
“How can you be so calm? You threw up and fainted again Kelsey, it is becoming a habit.” Jason’s comeback making me laugh. Seriously, my man did not do well in hospitals, not that I could blamed him, Zoe died in this very hospital, it didn’t hold great memories for him.
“I’d hardly call it a habit babe, I only threw up once. You know the last time was heatstroke, this is more than likely food poisoning. I told you that burger tasted funny.” I tried easing his worries with a little white lie. The burger had been freacking fantastic, it was the mixture of the chocolate and soft drink straight after that tasted weird.
Jason stopped mid step, changed his direction and came to where I was lying on the gurney. Dropping a hip on the bed, he gathered me up in his arms.
“Mermaid it could be serious, why would he take three vials of blood from you? Maybe he saw something in your symptoms we didn’t.”
I rolled my eyes, thankful that it didn’t hurt my head this time. “Babe, I don’t have anything serious. You have to get a grip, honey.”
“Kelsey you came to the hospital in an ambulance. That qualifies as serious,” Jason argued with me.
“Only because I was unconscious. You finally got me in an ambulance, you should be happy,” I quipped, bit him gently on the earlobe, then lathed the sting with my tongue.
“Kelsey,” Jason growled in warning, but his hands travelled down my sides to my thighs which were barely covered by the tee I was wearing. I came to before we reached the hospital, Jason beside me in the cramped vehicle looking pale and frightened. I got annoyed so when they wheeled me into the emergency rooms, I pulled out the stubborn side of me and refused the terrible ill-fitting gown in favour of Jason’s tee. So, I had on his T-shirt and he only had his cut on, his muscled chest all rippled and suntanned.
Hmm, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to take his shirt and leave his body open for ogling eyes.
“Maybe we should get one of the guys to get you another shirt, you know to cover up what is for my eyes only,” I suggested only half joking. Running my hands up his defined washboard ab muscles, I rested them on his pecs. The warmth of his skin under my palms increased my heart rate, the machine connected to the wires that were stuck all over my chest, jumped and beeped.
“Getting a little turned on seeing me in just my leather Mermaid?” Jason teased, his fingers tracing higher under the shirt to my breasts, which were bare. Vomiting on one’s self made quite the mess to undergarments as well.
Biting back a moan when he came into contact with my hard, but sensitive nipples, I wished we were somewhere more private.
“I love your nipples Mermaid,” Jason murmured, his face pushed into my neck. His panted breath tickling me.
“I love that you love my nipples.” His rough pads flicked over one then the other, sending tiny currents to my core.
“I love when you say nipples, you get all panty, breathless and shy,” Jason came back with, making me groan with need.
Nudging him back so I could see his incredible blues, I smiled at him. “I love you.”
His lips brushed against mine with the gentlest of touches, “I love you more sweetheart,” he said way too seriously. “I don’t want you to die Kels,” he whispered frantically. My gasp of shock was overshadowed by a sudden burst of laughter near the curtain.
Both of us looked at the intruder dressed in a white lab coat, and a chart in his hand.
“She isn’t dying, just pregnant,” the doctor informed us both, as if he just told us the sky is blue and not something life altering.
“I’m sorry she is what?”
“I’m what?”
Jason and I shouted at the same time. His question coming out more than a little angry than my surprised one.
Within seconds, Jason pulled away from me, the storm of anger in his sapphire eyes aimed directly at me.
“What the fuck Kelsey?”
Chapter 21
JASON
Rage, anger, elation, fear, joy.
All of these emotions swirled in my head and heart as I stood away from Kelsey. The doctor stood there without a clue the news he just delivered both shattered and delighted me.
Pregnant.
Kelsey was pregnant, with my child. Mine.
How? How was she pregnant? She couldn’t have kids, her words which I’d believed because there would have been no way I would have gone bare in her otherwise.
Not able to take my eyes off Kelsey’s shocked face, I asked the doctor the only question that needed asking, for now.
“How?”
“How what?” The idiot asked jovially.
Gritting my teeth, I then glared at him. “How did she get pregnant?”
“Oh, the usual way I’m guessing.”
Growling at his bad joking, I thought about smacking him on the upside of his face with a metal bedpan. Darting my eyes around the room I looked for one, lucky for the wanker Kelsey chose that moment to diffuse the situation.
“What Jason means is, doctor, I can’t have children. In my early teens I suffered some major trauma to my ovaries and lost one. The other one was deemed to be unviable by a gynaecologist. He said it would be virtually improbable for me to fall pregnant naturally, and because of that Jason and I haven’t used any protection when we, um when we… you know… do it.” Kelsey finished fluttering her hands around her lower region and pointing at mine.
Had I not felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach, her cuteness would have made me laugh. I was not laughing and right now, I didn’t find anything remotely cute.
Pregnant. That word, the one word that brought on a stream of sweat down my back, the leather cut I was wearing not helping. One word that brought the fear of god.
I had been right, Kelsey was going to die.
Childbirth.
Of fuck me sideways, I couldn’t do it, not again.
The room lacked air, I couldn’t breathe, my lungs begged for one clean intake of air.
“Well then, this is mother nature’s way of saying surprise. Because you are most definitely pregnant. I’d say about three to four weeks, no more than that.” The doctor continued on as if nothing was wrong.
“I can’t—”
“Jason, please,” Kelsey implored me, her jade eyes filling with tears.
“Sweetheart, I can’t,” I told her again then turned on wobbly legs and left the room. Leaving Kelsey alone because I was a coward and had no idea how I was going to survive not only another pregnancy, but worst of all another death.
Kelsey’s cries followed me down the short hall to the exit door, grabbing the handle I impatiently pulled the door open so I could escape hearing her pleas to come back, not to leave her. Once the door closed, silencing the anguished sobs of the person I loved the most, I started to lose it.
“Oh, Jesus Christ sweetheart, what have we done?” I sobbed, hanging my head, crying for the first time in years.
Once I reached the external exit of the hospital I realised that I didn’t bring my car, or bike. I travelled with Kelsey, too hell bent on not leaving her to think about transport for either of us after we left.
Shit, Kelsey would need a ride home too. Reaching into the inside pocket of my cut, I pulled out my phone and called the only number that came to mind.
“Yo, you got Deck.” My brother’s usual gruff phone greeting normally pissed me off, today however, I needed him.
“Deck, I need you brother,” I said simply, my voice even to my own ears sounded desperate.
“I’m coming Jay, where are you?”
“Hospital, can you get someone to come be with Kelsey? I— I can’t brother.”
Hearing Deck’s assurance that someone will be right there, I made my way to the corner facing the way I knew Deck would be coming from. I didn’t tell him where to pick me up from exactly, but for some reason I knew I didn’t have to either. Deck was my twin brother, our bond wasn’t the greatest at the best of times, but somehow, I just knew he felt my turmoil.
“Hold tight mate, I’m coming.” There was only concern behind his words, no judgement, no rebuking. Deck wasn’t stupid, he knew I would never leave Kelsey alone if she was truly sick.
“Just get here quick Deck, please.”
I ended the call, putting the phone in my back pocket.
Get here quick mate before I forget all my fears and go back and celebrate making a baby with the woman who owns my fucking heart.
“He is fine Sweetness, no you stay at the compound, I mean it Charlie if I find out you moved your sexy sweet arse from that room, I will punish you with—”
I blocked out the rest of Deck’s conversation with his wife and instead finished off the last of my beer, my fifth for the evening, but who was counting.
Steel sat on the other chair facing mine, a beer dangled from his thumb and forefinger. Since he’d arrived he had done nothing but stare at me while nursing that one beer, he was starting to get on my nerves. Cooper Steel had a gift of seeing through bullshit and cutting to the heart of issues. I had issues, lots of them, but I didn’t want his opinion on any of them.
Walking out on Kelsey the way I did ashamed me.
This was in no way her fault, we made the decision to not use any kind of birth control as a couple. Given the circumstances and the evidence Kelsey received from a professional who was the top in his field, we had no reason to believe there would be any repercussions.
Not that making a baby was a bad thing, far from it. Having children had always been on my list of priorities at one time in my life. After Zoe and I came to terms with Deck being the father, well it was more me than her, we discussed and agreed we wanted more. Seeing her swell and grow with Shiloh had been magical, but I wanted to see her belly big with my kid, my seed.
Then… I didn’t want that anymore. Until about three hours ago.
Kelsey was carrying my baby and I was drowning in beer and fear.
“You know Johnston, I can hear your inner bullshit all the way over here. Why don’t you just admit you are a sissy baby, get it over with then go over the road and get your woman,” Steel announced, giving me that cocky smile that only Mia found cute.
“Why don’t you go find someone else to piss off Steel,” I grumbled, annoyed because I wanted to do exactly that, run over to Kelsey’s place and get down on my knees and beg for her forgiveness.
A horrible thought suddenly dawned on me, what if she didn’t forgive me, what if this was the final straw for her. For most of our month
and a bit relationship I had hidden behind my stubbornness and the memory of Zoe. Kelsey’s patience never wore thin, not that she told me anyway, she let me figure out shit in my own time, not once did she throw a tantrum or give me an ultimatum to choose her over Zoe.
There was no choice, Zoe was dead, yeah, I still loved her, missed her and regretted that we hadn’t had the time we deserved together. That final one wasn’t quite true anymore, that feeling diminished the day Kelsey sat on my lap and through her tears asked why no one would sleep with her. That was when Kelsey started to replace the grief and sorrow I carried over Zoe, opening my cold heart and squeezing herself inside.
A baby. Fuck! What a gift.
Images of a tiny baby girl with jade green eyes filled my head, or maybe a blue-eyed boy rough housing on the floor with me, like Deck and I used to do.
Those things I wanted more than my next breath, and with Kelsey.
Zoe’s last moments had played over and over like a never-ending tape in my head since I’d left the hospital with Deck. The way she said goodbye to me, like she already knew she wasn’t going to live to see our baby or future together. The pale lifelessness of her body when the doctors tried to revive her, or the last image of her with the sheet covering her lower body and her beautiful eyes closed forever.
The horrible minute Deck took possession of his daughter leaving me with empty arms and a shattered heart.
Oh god how could I go through that again and survive.
“Who says Kelsey is going to die?” Deck asked siting down beside me, startling me with his question.
Fuck I said that out loud?
Leaning his elbows on his knees, Deck stayed silent for a moment then gave me his words of wisdom.
“Mate, when Charlie and I first got together she asked me how many kids I wanted. It was a perfectly normal question but I fucked it up completely. I told her I was happy with just Shiloh, you wanna know why?”
I got the feeling he didn’t expect me to ask so I didn’t and just waited for him to tell me.
Love Heals (The Love Duet Book 2) Page 18
