William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones
Page 1
Copyright © 2015 by Lucasfilm Ltd. & TM. All rights reserved.
Used under authorization.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2014953127
ISBN 9781594748073
eBook ISBN 9781594748202
Text by Ian Doescher
Illustrations by Nicolas Delort
Production management by John J. McGurk
Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com
v4.1
TO HESTON HAVENS AND TO SARAH CRESWELL:
TWO JEDI KNIGHTS BEYOND THE GALAXY
WHOSE KIND AND LOVING HEARTS SHALL NE’ER BE CLONED
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Dramatis Personae
Prologue
Act I Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Act II Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Act III Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Scene 6
Act IV Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5
Act V Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
CHORUS
RUMOR
YODA, a Jedi Master
OBI-WAN KENOBI, a Jedi Knight
ANAKIN SKYWALKER, his Jedi apprentice
MACE WINDU and KI-ADI-MUNDI, Jedi Masters
JOCASTA NU, keeper of the Jedi archives
PADMÉ AMIDALA, senator of Naboo
CORDÉ and DORMÉ, her handmaidens and decoys
CAPTAIN TYPHO, of Amidala’s guard
BAIL ORGANA and ASK AAK, senators of the Republic
QUEEN JAMILLIA and SIO BIBBLE, queen and governor of Naboo
R2-D2, C-3PO, and R4-P17, droids
SHMI SKYWALKER and CLIEGG LARS, Anakin’s mother and her husband
OWEN LARS and BERU WHITESUN, Shmi’s stepson and his mate
JAR JAR BINKS, a Gungan clown
CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS, a Sith Lord
COUNT DOOKU/DARTH TYRANUS, a Sith
MAS AMEDDA and DAR WAC, vice chancellor and aide
TAUN WE and LAMA SU, cloners of Kamino
JANGO FETT and BOBA FETT, a bounty hunter and his son
ZAM WESELL, an assassin
ELAN SLEAZEBAGGANO, a wretch
DEXTER JETTSTER and WA-7, a Coruscant merchant and his droid
NUTE GUNRAY, viceroy of the Trade Federation
WAT TAMBOR, SHU MAI, and SAN HILL, Separatist Alliance conspirators
POGGLE THE LESSER, archduke of Geonosis
ACKLAY, NEXU, and REEK, beasts of Geonosis
WATTO, a tradesman of Tatooine
SENATORS, PILOTS, GUARDS, DROIDS, CREATURES, MEMBERS OF THE JEDI ORDER, and JEDI YOUNGLINGS
PROLOGUE.
Outer space.
Enter CHORUS.
CHORUS
All hurly-burly goes the galaxy—
The Senate sees a time of harsh unrest.
For many thousand systems do decree
Intent to leave th’Republic’s troubl’d nest.
This movement of the sep’ratists is led
By one Count Dooku, garb’d in mystery.
The Jedi Knights are press’d and thinly spread:
The peace they keep grows weaker by degree.
A vital vote the Senate doth pursue:
Shall they an army for th’Republic make?
Strong senator—Am’dala of Naboo—
To Coruscant makes way, this plan to break.
In time so long ago begins our play,
In clash-strewn galaxy far, far away.
[Exit.
SCENE 1.
A landing platform on the planet Coruscant.
Enter PADMÉ, in Naboo fighter ship, with R2-D2.
PADMÉ
In sooth, I know not why I am so sad;
Is this one moment not without its hope?
The Senate doth face challenges, indeed,
Yet need my visage sing such somber tones?
The music of our strong democracy
Hath instruments enough to keep its tune:
A symphony of peace it hath perform’d,
For many years delighting all who hear.
The past, though, doth not croon the future’s song.
The minstrel of the present plays his lute
As though to prophesy some tragedy
And turn our joyful march to mournful dirge.
E’en now there comes a frightful dissonance,
A clang, a crash—the cymbals roughly struck.
Our major calm, our time of quietude,
Doth modulate unto a minor key.
Too hastily we turn to drum and fife,
The sounds of war assaulting ev’ry ear.
My sadness, then, plays countermelody
To these stark notes of conflict, pain, and strife.
Enter CORDÉ dressed as SENATOR AMIDALA and NABOO GUARDS, in royal cruiser ship. Enter CAPTAIN TYPHO, aside in fighter ship.
GUARD 1
My senator, I bring this brief report:
To Coruscant we make our swift approach.
CORDÉ
’Tis well, Lieutenant. Let us, then, proceed.
Our royal cruiser shall its landing make,
Beside the fighter ships escorting us.
[The Naboo royal cruiser and fighter ships land on Coruscant.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, whistle, squeak!
TYPHO
[to Padmé:] —We have arriv’d,
And all within our party quite unscath’d.
Forsooth, my trepidation was misplac’d:
There was no cause or reason to have fear,
No danger hath pursu’d us to this place.
My guess was wrong, and we are landed safe.
[The royal cruiser explodes. Naboo guards die.
Alas! How like a fool my spirits change—
Methought I had been wrong, and now am wrong’d!
PADMÉ
[to Cordé:] O, Cordé, thou who took my rightful place,
Unrightfully art slain through villainy.
CORDÉ
My lady, I have fail’d you in this death,
And with my final breath beg you: forgive.
I would I had another life to give,
That you another death might still be spar’d.
[Cordé dies.
PADMÉ
Weep, eyes, for sorrow comes too suddenly!
TYPHO
Good lady, you are yet in danger here.
We must get hence and get you from this place.
PADMÉ
’Tis certain I should never have return’d.
TYPHO
Yet is this vote a thing of consequence,
Which you and your estate may not dismiss.
Young Cordé hath fulfill’d her duty true,
If you would honor her, fulfill yours, too.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 2.
On the planet Coruscant, in the chambers of the chancellor.
PALPATINE
The vote shall not suspended be for long;
Star systems plentiful continue their
Most swift departure to the sep’ratists.
Thus doth the Senate presently demand
A vote that shall decide if we shall see
An army in the strong Republic’s name.
MACE
If they would in my country not remain—
PALPATINE
I shall not let the great Republic, which
Hath stood for lo these thousand years as one,
Be split in twain by any errant group,
No matter how misguided they may be.
Pray, trust me: my negotiations shall
Not fail to bring those systems to our fold.
MACE
Yet if they fail, ’twould be the kiss of death:
And we have not the Jedi to maintain
The order and defense Republic needs
Against a foe formidable as they.
You would do well to bear this in your thoughts:
We are but peacekeepers—not soldiers, nay.
PALPATINE
Wise Master Yoda, what do you foresee?
Shall this grim path but lead to bitter war?
Are all our steps directed thereunto?
YODA
The dark side rises—
Cloudeth ev’rything it doth.
Thus, the future hides.
Enter DAR WAC in beam.
DAR
Mahala, geena beeska wooski woo.
PALPATINE
The loyalists have come? My thanks, Dar Wac.
DAR
Ma hanna hoonja parawa.
PALPATINE
—Thou mayst
Admit them to our presence even now.
[Exit Dar Wac from beam.
Another time this matter we’ll discuss,
Yet now the delegation from Naboo
I must with all good will and comfort greet.
Enter PADMÉ, CAPTAIN TYPHO, BAIL ORGANA, JAR JAR BINKS, and other NABOO GUARDS.
YODA
[to Padmé:] My dear Senator,
Your tragedy whilst landing
Most terrible was.
Yet that you still live
Bringeth feelings of deep warmth
To this Jedi heart.
PADMÉ
My thanks, good Master Yoda. Do you have
Suggestion as to who made this attack?
Can your keen Jedi sight see e’en thus far?
MACE
Our best reports point to the twisted minds
Of various spice miners who are found
Upon the moons of your small home, Naboo.
PADMÉ
Nay, these reports have not the air of truth,
For ’tis my sense Count Dooku is to blame.
KI-ADI
A shrewd political idealist is
The man; to murther hath he not yet turn’d.
MACE
You know, my lady, Jedi was he once—
’Tis true he’s none in the new age, yet still
His nature runs not to assassination.
’Tis not within Count Dooku’s character:
The role of murderer he playeth not.
YODA
Yet most certain ’tis,
Senator Amidala:
In danger you are.
PALPATINE
Brave Master Jedi, humbly I suggest
The senator be safeguarded by you.
BAIL
Is’t wise to play our hand in such a way,
Since this grave moment bringeth such distress?
PADMÉ
Sir Chancellor, if you would hear me speak:
’Tis not my wish, nor is it my belief—
PALPATINE
’Tis not your firm belief, young senator,
Our situation hath become so dire?
It may not be, and yet I disagree:
The tide of these affairs hath turn’d most rough,
And threatens now to overturn the ship
Of our Republic. ’Tis most serious.
Whilst I do grasp that this additional
Security may be most noisome, it
Is also vital you protected are.
Mayhap if ’twere a Jedi you know well—
A friend of times gone by, I have the man:
E’en Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Yea?
MACE
’Tis possible. He hath return’d e’en now:
A border quarrel nearby Ansion—
With each combatant raging like a moose—
He hath of late o’erseen, and presently
He hath made his return to Coruscant.
PALPATINE
If not for your fond people of Naboo,
If not for the Republic that you serve,
If not for this grim danger you are in,
Do it, if not for these, then for my sake.
When my mind ponders thought of losing you,
’Tis more, my lady, than my soul can bear.
MACE
Brave Obi-Wan shall make report to you
Immediately, lady. And, fear not:
He shall be most discreet, and out of sight
E’en though he ever guards you steadily.
PADMÉ
Kind Master Windu, take mine utmost thanks.
[Exeunt Palpatine, Padmé, Typho, Yoda, Mace Windu, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Jedi Council members.
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.
ANAKIN
Hold still, mine hands, be still, O fev’rish blood,
If the mere thought of her doth move me so,
How shall it be when I stand by her side?
How when her lovely face doth meet mine eyes?
What shall I do when mine ears hear her voice,
Which is a sweeter music to my soul
Above all else the galaxy could sound?
The measure of my keen affection doth
Exceed all measure, line, or boundary.
And this affection, bred of memory,
Is but a shadow to what may come forth
When in her presence I shall stand at last.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.
OBI-WAN
Good morrow, my young Padawan. How is’t?
What trouble’s this in thy complexion here,
What matter pulls thy spirit out of sorts?
ANAKIN
[aside:] Alas, how well he knows mine ev’ry look.
[To Obi-Wan:] Nay, nay, ’tis nothing, Master. All
is well.
OBI-WAN
I sense the falsehood e’en as it is spoke—
Thou art far tenser now than I have seen
Since we into that nest of gundarks fell.
ANAKIN
A fallen memory indeed, kind sir,
For it was you who did the falling whilst
I did the rescuing, if I recall.
OBI-WAN
Perchance some fault befalls my memory—
Forsooth, ’twas as thou sayest, I confess.
Although ’twas frightening, it brings me mirth:
Aye, danger may be merry when ’tis past.
But now, behold thy face—thou dost perspire!
I prithee, Anakin, relax, breathe deep.
ANAKIN
I have not seen the lass lo these ten years.
OBI-WAN
[aside:] I guess’d ’twas thoughts of Padmé plagu’d
him so.
Enter JAR JAR BINKS.
JAR JAR
’Tis Obi! Meesa smile to see you.
OBI-WAN
And thee as well, kind Jar Jar. Art thou well?
Enter PADMÉ and CAPTAIN TYPHO.
JAR JAR
O, Missa Padmé mees got palos!
See, Senator, de Jedi commee.
PADMÉ
[aside:]
Who is this man who stands before me here?
There’s Obi-Wan, I know him well enough,
And is this—can it be? ’Tis Anakin.
How unfamiliar is his face to me,
How like a man and not the boy I knew!
Though I feel I have ag’d but little since
I last did see him, back on small Naboo,
The change in him doth tell of many years
That evidently fill’d the interim.
OBI-WAN
It is a joy to see you once again.
PADMÉ
It hath been years too many, Obi-Wan—
Time’s march continues on as quicksilver.
And Ani? Is it thee? How thou hast grown!
ANAKIN
And thou as well, in charm and loveliness.
I mean but loveliness most politic,
And charm that doth befit a senator.
’Twas nothing more I meant, nay, nothing more.
OBI-WAN
[aside:] How like a child he stammers, nervous wretch.
PADMÉ
O, Ani, whether I have grown or no,
Thou shalt forever in mine eyes be that
Small boy I met on windblown Tatooine.
OBI-WAN
Our presence here shall be invisible:
This is my promise to you, Senator.
TYPHO
My name is Captain Typho, I provide
Security unto Her Majesty.
Our queen, Jamillia, hath been notified
Of your assignment to the senator.
Your presence here doth make me grateful, sir;
The danger we are in, I’ll warrant, is
Far more than our dear senator admits.
PADMÉ
’Tis not security I need, but answers,
For guards I have enough, with questions more:
Who is’t who tried to kill me on the ship?