William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones
Page 3
An ’twere thy skill with lightsaber were half
As sharp as thy most rapierlike wit,
Thou wouldst do well, e’en challenge Yoda’s art.
ANAKIN
Methinks my skill doth match his even now.
OBI-WAN
Nay, only in thy mind, apprentice young.
Yet truly, hear my words: thou hast my thanks
E’en if I do not share thy jests. Indeed,
Thine humor I might find more humorous
Had not another fate befallen me.
ANAKIN
Befallen, verily, but less than fell.
You are alive—a blessing to us both—
And now let us pursue this villainy.
Enter ZAM WESELL, flying in a speeder. OBI-WAN and ANAKIN pursue her.
OBI-WAN
He flieth straight below, into a dive.
Take care when thou dost follow, lest we crash—
Thou knowest well thou mak’st me sore afraid.
ANAKIN
I had forgot you liketh not to fly.
OBI-WAN
’Tis not the flying, ’tis the suicide—
I would not make a death by accident.
See now, the knave hath struck the power coupling!
Nay, drive not through its beam, thou pilot wild.
[Anakin navigates the speeder through the power coupling’s beams.
ZAM
His skill at navigation is most sure,
Yet I’ll prevail and ’scape his keen pursuit.
[Zam flies into a tunnel. Anakin continues by a different path.
OBI-WAN
What hast thou done—he flew another way!
ANAKIN
Good Master, prithee listen to my plan:
This chase shall but result in his demise
Within a sharp, untimely, fiery end.
I would prefer to question him, and to
Discover wherefore he hath tried to kill
And who hath sent him here upon this chore.
I have employ’d a shorter path, methinks,
Which shall deliver him to us anon.
OBI-WAN
Yet where is he? It seems he hath been lost.
’Twas shorter, aye, for now we are made short:
Short of the villain we did hotly seek,
Who did fly by a pathway opposite.
Again, thou provest only that thou art—
ANAKIN
I bid thee, sir, excuse me. I must fly!
[Anakin jumps from the speeder in pursuit of Zam, who reappears below.
OBI-WAN
That rascal, he doth ever swagger so.
[Exit Obi-Wan.
ANAKIN
E’en with the traffic circling all around
’Tis quieter sans Obi-Wan’s harangues.
I spy him now, and on his speeder land!
The rogue is mine, and soon shall he be stopp’d.
ZAM
What is this, can it be? He boardeth me!
We shall yet see if he can keep his grip
When I do jostle him both here and there.
Mayhap I’ll ram him on a strong blockade,
Or let him feel another speeder’s thrust.
ANAKIN
I see the beast, and ’tis not he, but she!
If I have seen aright, in her distress
She chang’d her form. Our enemies may bring
Us trouble vast indeed, if they—like moons—
Are changeable. Now out, lightsaber, come:
Do thy swift work, unto the cockpit strike!
Yet she doth shoot at me, and from mine hand
Like captur’d bird my lightsaber doth fly.
ZAM
His weapon’s gone, but still he doth hold fast.
What’s this—he grasps mine hand, my blaster too,
We struggle—ah! Now all controls unto
My speeder are by laser’s strike destroy’d!
My ship doth fall, and quickly comes the street.
Into the crowds of passersby we fall.
[Zam’s speeder crashes onto the streets of Coruscant.
ANAKIN
I leap e’en now, my life thereby to keep.
[Anakin jumps from the speeder as it crashes.
ZAM
The speeder’s down, but still my feet may fly.
ANAKIN
What, ho! Stop now, thou rogue, for thou art mine!
[Exit Zam into a nightclub.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.
OBI-WAN
Say, Anakin! ’Tis well that we have met,
For I did worry o’er thy safety. Now,
How goes the chase? Hast seen the roguish knave?
ANAKIN
Just fled into this club of ill repute.
Let us make entrance, bring the beast without.
OBI-WAN
I bid thee, patience, use the mighty Force.
Call on thine instincts, not thy taste for blood.
ANAKIN
Apologies, my master.
OBI-WAN
—He went in
To hide, and not to flee, or he’d be gone.
Belike ’tis not from us that he would run.
Behold, my Padawan, thy lightsaber,
Which went a’flying past my head as thou
Didst bravely fight the nasty criminal.
I caught it barely as it pass’d me by.
Mayhap in future battles thou shalt keep’t?
Remember, Anakin, this weapon may
The diff’rence be between thy life or death.
ANAKIN
I shall endeavor to recall your words.
OBI-WAN
Why is’t I feel thou shalt to me be death?
In some yet unknown place, some lonely star,
It may be that thou shalt, in future battle,
Make some mistake within the episode
That brings one death to me—or three or four.
ANAKIN
’Tis now your jests ring hollow on mine ears.
OBI-WAN
Our wits are misalign’d tonight, in troth.
ANAKIN
Speak not of some misfortune I would bring,
For you, dear sir, are like the father that
I ne’er did know, nor do, nor ever shall.
OBI-WAN
If this be so, wherefore attend me not?
ANAKIN
I try, my master, yet my youthful ears
Have learn’d to tune to sounds beyond your voice.
They enter the nightclub. Enter ZAM WESELL, hidden, and several CREATURES at the bar.
OBI-WAN
Dost thou see him herein?
ANAKIN
—Your “he” is “she,”
And more than that, a changeling.
OBI-WAN
—Is it so?
Then must we cautious be especially.
I prithee, go and find her where she hides.
ANAKIN
I shall indeed. But, sir, where are you bound?
OBI-WAN
Unto the bar—my whistle there to wet.
ANAKIN
[aside:] ’Tis not the time to drink, but shrewdly think.
[Exit Anakin. Obi-Wan approaches the bar.
Enter ELAN SLEAZEBAGGANO.
ELAN
Greetings, sir, allow me your pleasure to ensure,
for I’ve such wonders as shall act unto your soul as
surgeon. My death sticks, perhaps, you would care
to try—they are most belovèd by the population general.
You shall intoxicated by, ’tis my promise and warning.
[Obi-Wan uses a Jedi mind trick on Elan.
OBI-WAN
Thou dost not wish to sell death sticks to me.
ELAN
I’d not sell you these death sticks. Nay, not I.
OBI-WAN
Thou shalt go home, and there rethink thy life.
ELAN
I must go thither to re
think my life!
[Exit Elan.
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.
ANAKIN
Where is the scoundrel? I must find her out.
Yet this dark club is so completely full
I could not find a bantha hiding here,
Much less an agile, shifty killer. Fie!
[Zam approaches Obi-Wan from behind.
ZAM
These Jedi have pursu’d me here, but one
Hath turn’d his full attention to the bar,
There to assuage his thirst. Aye, drink your fill—
For it shall be the last thy lips shall taste.
Step closer now, whilst he doth lap his cup,
And soon shall he imbibe my blaster’s fire.
[Obi-Wan turns around quickly, cutting off Zam’s hand with his lightsaber.
OBI-WAN
O, brutish fiend, thy villainy is done!
Let us go hence, and learn the total truth
Of thy most traitorous and awful deeds.
ANAKIN
[to onlookers:] Be ye at ease, this is a Jedi case.
Continue with your drinks—our mug is found.
[Exeunt creatures as Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Zam exit to the street.
OBI-WAN
[to Zam:] Dost thou know who it was thou tried
to kill?
ZAM
A senator, the one come from Naboo.
OBI-WAN
And who was it employ’d thee—speak thou true!
ZAM
’Twas but employment minor, nothing more.
Enter JANGO FETT on balcony.
JANGO
[aside:] Mine operative hath been caught, they have
found Zam. If I do not act swiftly, shall not be she
that’s found—it shall be I. Go to them, Zam, I’ll find
another underling. Forsooth, e’en from this moment
I’ll remember: if I will have a job done right, it shall
be done myself.
ANAKIN
I bid thee, tell us; all shall soon be well.
Aye, tell us now, else shalt thou feel my rage!
ZAM
It was a brutal bounty hunter nam’d—
[Jango Fett shoots Zam with a poisonous dart.
Weh shanit, sleemo—death is now my task.
[Zam dies. Exit Jango Fett.
ANAKIN
Our questions are not answer’d, yet again!
OBI-WAN
This toxic dart that made the killer’s end
Brings yet another question, which, in time,
May lead to answers. Patience, Padawan.
Let us return, and bring this news unto
The Jedi Council. They shall serve as guide—
Their wisdom shall be unto us supplied.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 4.
On the planet Coruscant, the Jedi temple and the freighter docks.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, YODA, MACE WINDU, KI-ADI-MUNDI, and other MEMBERS OF THE JEDI COUNCIL.
YODA
These tidings ill are.
Track down this bounty hunter
You must, Obi-Wan.
MACE
This killer hath our back against the wall.
Be sure you do discover who it is
By whom the bounty hunter is employ’d.
OBI-WAN
And what of Amidala? She requires
E’en more protection than she had before.
YODA
Your Padawan, yea—
’Tis he shall escort her back,
Unto Naboo’s shores.
MACE
Young Anakin, take thou the senator,
Return unto her planet, e’en Naboo.
She shall be safer there, and furthermore:
Do the right thing and use a transport that
Is yet unregister’d. Thus may her foes
Find all her movements difficult to track.
ANAKIN
Yet as the senator doth claim her place
As leader of the opposition, it
Shall be most difficult to give sound cause
Why she must leave the capital anon.
Belike she shall refuse. What then, I pray?
YODA
Until this killer
Found hath been, our judgment true
Respect she must, hmm.
MACE
Go thou unto the Senate, Anakin,
There ask the chancellor, e’en Palpatine,
To plead our cause herein; ’tis strictly bus’ness.
[Exeunt Yoda, Mace, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Obi-Wan, and other Jedi Council members.
Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE.
ANAKIN
Wise Chancellor, you come in perfect time.
PALPATINE
Indeed?
ANAKIN
—The Jedi Council doth request
Your keen assistance in a matter most
Important to their cause and to my heart.
PALPATINE
Whate’er they ask, I do but live to serve.
ANAKIN
Would you speak to the lady senator,
E’en Amidala of Naboo, and ask
That she accept the Jedi’s sage advice
To make departure swift from Coruscant,
Returning to her home on small Naboo?
PALPATINE
[aside:] What fools these Jedi be! [To Anakin:]
Indeed I shall.
The senator shall in no wise refuse
Explicit order of th’executive.
Her character I understand enough
To give such reassurance unto thee.
ANAKIN
You have my gratitude, Your Excellence.
PALPATINE
Thus art thou finally assignment giv’n—
Thy patience all this time earns its reward.
ANAKIN
It is your guidance, which you nobly pay
To me, and have since I was but a boy,
That brings reward, e’en more than patience mine.
PALPATINE
Thou hast no need of guidance, Anakin.
In time, thy spirit shall make recompense
For any credit I have proffer’d thee
When thou hast learn’d to trust thy feelings true:
Forsooth, then shalt thou be invincible.
So have I laid my wager many times:
Of all the Jedi I have ever seen,
Thy treasure and thy skill exceed each one.
ANAKIN
Your words do humble me, Your Excellence.
PALPATINE
I have foreseen that thou shalt strong become,
Dear Anakin, beyond the Council—aye,
Beyond e’en Obi-Wan, Mace Windu, or,
If I may say: e’en Master Yoda too.
[Exit Palpatine.
ANAKIN
How doth this man speak words that seem to burn!
It is as though this Palpatine hath turn’d
To dragon: clad with scales against a strike,
Protecting him from ev’ry blast as though
They were of iron forg’d in flames of blue,
With forkèd tongue that traces ev’ry scent
Of fear upon his hapless enemies,
Such claws that are as sharp as blades of steel,
Design’d for tearing or to puncture flesh—
E’en to a person’s soul these knives may grasp,
A tail with which to sweep away his foes,
Such strength within as could an army face,
With broadest stroke may fell a mountaintop,
Behold, such wings of iridescent hue,
Equipping him to fly or flee at once,
To make attack or make escape at will.
Yet all these instruments of dragonhood
Are but the prologue to the savage fire
That scorcheth all when he doth ope his mouth!
Shall I the greatest Jedi ever be?
Is’t possible that I may yet exceed
The skill of Obi-Wan, or Yoda, too?
How like a blaze the dragon’s luring words
Do play their sparks and flashes on mine ears,
Do stoke the fierce inferno in mine heart.
Indeed, I would hear more of his hot speech,
For it doth warm my spirits through and through.
The dragon Palpatine doth fascinate:
He frightens and entices, both at once.
Yea, I admire his monster qualities
And would most gratefully be taught by him
How I may wake the dragon that’s within.
[Exit Anakin.
Enter YODA, MACE WINDU, and OBI-WAN KENOBI above, on balcony.
OBI-WAN
Concern’d I am for my young Padawan.
He is not ready this assignment to
Receive and undertake, not on his own.
YODA
The Council thinks not,
And utmost confidence hath
In its decision.
MACE
Incredible’s the talent of the boy.
OBI-WAN
Yet, Master, still he doth have much to learn.
’Tis true the boy hath vast abilities,
But they have made him somewhat arrogant.
YODA
Indeed, Obi-Wan,
A flaw growing common in
The Jedi order.
Too sure the Jedi,
Too sure of wisdom, of skill,
E’en the older ones.
MACE
I prithee, do remember, Obi-Wan:
If it may be the prophecy is true,
Then in the universe’s smelting pot—
Wherein our galaxy is bent and shap’d—
Your young apprentice is the iron man