William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones

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William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones Page 6

by Ian Doescher


  JANGO

  They shall perform aright, e’en to the last.

  Of that you may be sure, too.

  OBI-WAN

  I thank you, Jango, for this dialogue.

  JANGO

  Indeed, the thanks is mine—’tis e’er my pleasure

  to make acquaintance with a Jedi. [Aside:] Now

  we must flee, for time doth quickly run.

  [Exeunt Jango and Boba.

  OBI-WAN

  I have uncover’d ev’rything at last.

  [To Taun and Lama:] I bid ye now give me my leave

  to go

  And make report unto the Jedi Council.

  Our Jedi Master, Yoda, will delight

  To hear the progress you have made herein.

  LAMA SU

  To strengthen the Republic noble’s cause,

  The army we have built for him’s immense.

  OBI-WAN

  I shall reveal to him what I have seen—

  He shall regret he did not see’t himself.

  LAMA SU

  More sorry I, for he would be most proud—

  A leader of the Jedi Council, aye.

  OBI-WAN

  Regret I Master Sifo-Dyas could

  Not be here to bear witness to your fruits.

  LAMA SU

  All things run to completion in their time:

  Let Master Sifo-Dyas be at peace.

  OBI-WAN

  His memory you honor, Minister.

  LAMA SU

  Our thanks deliver we in multitudes:

  A million further we may proffer soon,

  Two hundred thousand we may give you now.

  OBI-WAN

  And we return those thanks to thee, kind sir.

  We shall make contact soon, with further orders.

  LAMA SU

  All is on schedule, as it hath been plann’d.

  So we may then proceed with business?

  OBI-WAN

  Forsooth, your operation’s well in hand.

  LAMA SU

  I trust your visit here is worth its length.

  OBI-WAN

  Indeed, it hath been most enlightening.

  [Exit Lama Su.

  TAUN WE

  I hope from now you shall more better know

  Our high prime minister, e’en Lama Su.

  Come now, and I shall show you on your way.

  OBI-WAN

  Much gratitude for all you’ve shown me here—

  The soldiers you have made impress me quite.

  TAUN WE

  Give us but time, and you shall have yet more.

  OBI-WAN

  I understand. You have mine utmost thanks.

  TAUN WE

  Since we so long have been in touch with you,

  Indeed, ’tis well to meet you in our home.

  OBI-WAN

  Your hospitality hath been most kind.

  TAUN WE

  Our high prime minister sends his regards.

  Good Master Jedi, salutations, sir.

  [Exit Taun We.

  OBI-WAN

  Thus what was hidden now hath been reveal’d,

  Though its significance is yet conceal’d.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 1.

  On the planet Naboo, at the lake retreat.

  Enter PADMÉ and ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

  ANAKIN

  Come, come, thou wasp: thine hidden secret shout.

  PADMÉ

  If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

  ANAKIN

  My remedy is, then, to pluck it out.

  PADMÉ

  If thou shalt pluck, I shall not tell the thing.

  In sooth, I do not know.

  ANAKIN

  —Methinks thou dost.

  PADMÉ

  Wilt thou perhaps a Jedi’s trick employ,

  And plunder all my thoughts with ruse unjust?

  ANAKIN

  Nay, with such base tricks I’d not thee annoy.

  Besides, such mind games would not work on thee,

  For they are only us’d upon the weak.

  PADMÉ

  If thou shalt not be touch’d by jealousy,

  I’ll give to thee the answer thou dost seek.

  Of my first kiss may this small tale be sung:

  Mine age was twelve, and he was Palo nam’d.

  A legislative program for the young

  Did mark the place where first my lips were tam’d.

  A handsome boy, and older by some years,

  With raven’s eyes and curly hair of brown.

  ANAKIN

  Thou hast spoke long enough to burn mine ears.

  So what of him? How did he let you down?

  What was his error or his fatal blunder?

  Or was it he whose interest did fade?

  Aye, wert thou maid or unmade? O, you wonder!

  PADMÉ

  No wonder, nay; but certainly a maid.

  To public service my direction led,

  Whilst he became an artist in Naboo.

  ANAKIN

  Mayhap ’twas he who acted with his head.

  PADMÉ

  Thou dost not care for politicians, true?

  ANAKIN

  Nay, there are two or three I do prefer—

  They are an ample feast to suit my taste.

  There is one dish of which I’m yet unsure,

  Whose flavor is with zest and spices lac’d.

  Yet, by my troth, I think the system broken:

  ’Tis not the cogs, but ’tis the whole machine.

  PADMÉ

  How should it run, if in thy words ’twere spoken?

  ANAKIN

  They all should sit together and convene—

  Discussing ev’ry matter of the state—

  And make agreement as to what is best

  For ev’ry creature, whether small or great:

  Then on their findings should their actions rest.

  PADMÉ

  Yea, as thou just hast said we surely do,

  Yet trouble comes when all cannot agree.

  ANAKIN

  Then those who disagree are most untrue,

  And must be made to sing in common key.

  PADMÉ

  By whom? Which choirmaster wouldst thou name?

  ANAKIN

  Someone who would conduct the group aright.

  PADMÉ

  Wouldst thou hold that baton?

  ANAKIN

  —’Twas not my claim.

  PADMÉ

  Then someone else?

  ANAKIN

  —Aye, someone wise, with might.

  PADMÉ

  Thy tune doth sound most like dictatorship.

  ANAKIN

  If it would work, I’d sing its melody.

  PADMÉ

  Thou mockest me, I see it in thy lip.

  ANAKIN

  Nay, I intend no sharp disharmony.

  ’Twould be unwise a senator to mock,

  For mockingbirds do whistle scornful airs.

  PADMÉ

  Your sly refrain upon mine heart doth knock,

  And helpeth to unburthen me from cares.

  Enter a herd of SHAAKS.

  ANAKIN

  [aside:] My love, my joy, my senator, my queen!

  To hear her laugh doth set my soul to sigh.

  What light is light, if Padmé be not seen?

  What joy is joy, if Padmé be not by?

  [To Padmé:] Let us have sport, and merry make the day.

  PADMÉ

  These beasts are beautiful, yet can be rough.

  May Jedi over such as these hold sway?

  ANAKIN

  Methinks my skill and strength shall be enough.

  [Anakin jumps onto a shaak and begins riding it.

  PADMÉ

  Behold how like its master thou dost ride!

  Forsooth, thou hast a senator impress’d.

  ANAKIN

  The creature is with vigor well supp
lied,

  And by some rage it now doth seem possess’d.

  [The shaak throws Anakin to the ground.

  PADMÉ

  My strong protector, O, mine Anakin!

  My soul did cry as I beheld his fall.

  [Padmé runs to Anakin. Exeunt shaaks.

  Speak thou, good Ani, hast thou injur’d been?

  Be thou not broken by this creature’s gall.

  ANAKIN

  Ha, ha, my chuck, I do but jest by schemes.

  And yet thine eyes—they show thy care unfurl’d,

  They are the books, the arts, the academes,

  That show, contain, and nourish all the world.

  PADMÉ

  By heav’n, I am reliev’d that thou art well:

  The fear that shook me so is turn’d to joy.

  ANAKIN

  Be not afeard, or if thou art, then tell—

  Together we shall all thy fears destroy.

  PADMÉ

  Thou art my safeguard strong, my Jedi Knight.

  Now since thou art yet whole, say: shall we dine?

  ANAKIN

  To follow all thy steps brings me delight—

  If ’tis your will to eat, then it is mine.

  [They proceed to a table to sup.

  PADMÉ

  What canst thou say that shall my mirth arouse?

  ANAKIN

  Mayhap this need-born phrase we Jedi say—

  A technique we from time to time espouse—

  “Determinèd negotiations,” yea.

  PADMÉ

  Determinèd negotiations, what?

  What doth it mean, for I’ve not heard of it?

  ANAKIN

  It doth imply negotiations, but:

  Those manag’d by a lightsaber, to wit.

  [Aside:] I know I love in vain, no hope thereof;

  Yet in this captious and intenible sieve

  I still pour in the waters of my love—

  It is the very hope for which I live.

  Now bring the Force upon this happy scene,

  I shall employ its pow’r my lass to tease.

  [Anakin uses the Force to lift a pear and bring it to him.

  PADMÉ

  Such tricks do render all my thoughts serene.

  ANAKIN

  ’Tis well, they’d not put Obi-Wan at ease.

  [He cuts a slice of pear and, using the Force, passes it to her.

  PADMÉ

  This fruit thou sendest me the Force withal

  Shall fall most pleasantly upon my lips.

  The thanks I render thee are far too small

  To quite express what from my spirit slips.

  Pretty and witty, wild, and yet, too, gentle:

  Thou fashion’d art of paradox, in part.

  Yet such faint praise can be but detrimental

  Unto the noble man thou truly art.

  Thou art a treasur’d and a worthy friend,

  Protector of my life, though all unplann’d.

  If things were chang’d, perhaps love would transcend

  And tame my wild heart to thy loving hand.

  ANAKIN

  The closer we become, the more I ache,

  To be sans you would steal my very breath.

  The kiss thou gave, which I did gladly take,

  Doth move upon my passions as a death.

  Can I go forward when my heart is here,

  The heart that thou, with lips, have turn’d to scar?

  Thou art a specter, ghost to my good cheer,

  Tormenting me by haunting pow’r bizarre.

  What may I do? What shall I say to thee?

  What speech will exorcise your maiden doubt

  And turn the spirit of your love to me?

  But speak the word: thy servant is devout.

  PADMÉ

  Love like a shadow flies, pursu’d too soon.

  ANAKIN

  Is’t possible that thou dost long for me?

  If thou dost suffer love, then ’tis a boon:

  But say ’tis so and we may joinèd be.

  PADMÉ

  We two may not within one love be knit.

  For love is blind and lovers cannot see

  The pretty follies that themselves commit.

  How pretty would such follies in us be?

  It is not possible.

  ANAKIN

  —O, say not so!

  The course of true love never did run smooth.

  What blossom without weeds did ever grow?

  I prithee listen, let my reason soothe.

  This bud of love, by Naboo’s ripening breath,

  May prove a beauteous flower of which we’ll boast.

  PADMÉ

  Nay, thou shalt listen, my soul warranteth:

  The tempter or the tempted, who sins most?

  The vision thou dost proffer suits us not,

  Thine honor nor my station, neither one.

  Reality it seems thou hast forgot,

  For us to love would mean us both undone.

  Thou art a Jedi, I a senator,

  If thou wouldst follow thy thoughts to their end

  Then wouldst thou with my judgment straight concur:

  I am not made for lover, but for friend.

  This must be so, regardless how we feel,

  And how our passions move toward each other.

  ANAKIN

  There thou hast given thy confession real:

  Thou lovest me—we yearn for one another!

  PADMÉ

  Thy future I would never take from thee,

  And thus oppose the thread of Fate’s design.

  I pray thee, do not fall in love with me,

  For I am falser than vows made in wine.

  ANAKIN

  And yet thou ask’st that which I may not do:

  To speak mine heart as though it were my mind.

  Would that I mine affection could eschew,

  And change as quickly as the moon unkind.

  Yet ’tis not so.

  PADMÉ

  —I shall not bow to this:

  The pressure and the childish, nagging voice.

  Thy love, and not thy spite, should meet my kiss.

  ANAKIN

  Belike there is, as yet, another choice.

  Mayhap in some enclosèd, private place,

  We could agree to meet and be as one.

  There could I see the beauty of thy face,

  Our secret safe, we would not be undone.

  PADMÉ

  Yet would this render all our days a lie,

  A lie our souls would never let us keep.

  Thou couldst not live in such a way, nor I—

  Our love by such a bargain is made cheap.

  Thou couldst not want that, couldst thou, Anakin?

  I know that thou art made of better stuff.

  ANAKIN

  Indeed, it would destroy us both therein.

  Thou hast o’errul’d my passion well enough.

  Alas, there’s some ill galaxy that reigns,

  I must be patient till the heavens look

  With an aspect more favorable. Chains

  Would be more comfort than this hope forsook.

  [Exit Anakin.

  PADMÉ

  O, time! Thou must untangle this, not I;

  It is too hard a knot for me t’untie.

  [Exit Padmé.

  SCENE 2.

  Tipoca City, on the planet Kamino.

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI.

  OBI-WAN

  For answers to Kamino did I come,

  And such I did receive in quantities:

  Two hundred thousand answers met me here.

  Yet with this army comes more questions on—

  What was it Sifo-Dyas hop’d to do?

  And who is this Tyranus Fett speaks of?

  I must make contact with the Council next!

  Enter R4-P17.

  R4-P17

  Blip, whoop.

  OBI-WAN


  —R4, I bid thee set code five

  For Coruscant, care of the elders’ home.

  Enter YODA and MACE WINDU on balcony.

  Good Masters, I’ve establish’d contact with

  Kamino, and with its prime minister.

  They use a bounty hunter, Jango Fett,

  And by him build an army made from clones.

  Mine instincts do inform me Jango Fett

  Is e’en the selfsame bounty hunter who

  Would be assassin of the senator.

  MACE

  Do you believe the cloners are involv’d

  In this nerfar’ous plot? I’ll fly away

  Myself to work them woe if it be so.

  OBI-WAN

  Nay, Master, for they could not gain thereby.

  YODA

  Avoid assumption,

  Obi-Wan, we need your mind

  Most open to be.

  When clear are your thoughts,

  Discovery of villains

  In this plot follows.

  OBI-WAN

  Indeed, good Master. They did make report

  That Master Sifo-Dyas was the one

  Who did request an army of the clones.

  This deed he did perform ten years ago,

  Upon request of the Galactic Senate.

  Yet ’twas my memory that he was kill’d

  Ere then—say, did the Council authorize

  Creation of an army led by clones?

  MACE

  Nay, nay. Whoe’er it was the order plac’d

  Hath drunk a juice the Council did not serve.

  YODA

  If you can bring him,

  This bounty hunter vicious,

  Question him we will.

 

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