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William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones

Page 9

by Ian Doescher


  My soul doth fester like a raging beast,

  From hate to greater hate mine heart doth run.

  PADMÉ

  Thine anger is but human, Anakin.

  ANAKIN

  I am a Jedi, and should better be.

  PADMÉ

  My spirit is to thine a joinèd twin,

  Thus may I bear thine ev’ry agony.

  Enter R2-D2 and C-3PO.

  R2-D2

  Beep, meep, beep, squeak.

  PADMÉ

  —R2, I pray, what is’t?

  R2-D2

  Meep, whistle, hoo!

  C-3PO

  —He doth report this news:

  Some message comes from Obi-Wan Kenobi,

  A name most unfamiliar unto me.

  Good Master Anakin, know you this name?

  ANAKIN

  [aside:] Midst all these moments of defeating grief

  I have almost my senses quite forgot.

  Good Master Obi-Wan, I’ll heed your call.

  [To R2-D2:] Good droid, the message thou shalt

  play anon.

  R2-D2 begins playing the message. Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI aside, in beam. Enter YODA and MACE WINDU on balcony, hearing the message as well.

  OBI-WAN

  My long-range transmitter hath been destroy’d.

  Deliver this dispatch to Coruscant.

  I’ve track’d the bounty hunter, Jango Fett,

  To Geonosis and its foundries vast,

  Constructing battle droids by night and day.

  The vile Trade Federation now doth scheme

  To join its great droid army unto these.

  ’Tis clear that Viceroy Gunray hath conspir’d

  The senator, e’en Amidala, to

  Assassinate. The Corporate Alliance,

  Together with the Commerce Guilds, have pledg’d

  Allegiance—aye, and armies—to Count Dooku.

  They form e’en now a…Wait, I am attack’d!

  [Exit Obi-Wan from beam, brandishing his lightsaber.

  YODA

  More hath taken place

  On Geonosis, I feel,

  Than reveal’d hath been.

  MACE

  Yea, Master, I agree. Brave Anakin,

  Let us avengers to Count Dooku be.

  Thou must remain where presently thou art,

  The senator, at all costs, to protect.

  This is mine order, thy priority.

  ANAKIN

  I understand, my master, and obey.

  [Exeunt Yoda and Mace from balcony. Exeunt R2-D2 and C-3PO.

  PADMÉ

  They never shall reach Obi-Wan in time,

  ’Tis halfway ’cross the galaxy immense.

  Behold, for I do speak with reason’s rhyme,

  Yon Geonosis is but parsecs hence.

  ANAKIN

  ’Tis true, if e’en the man is still alive.

  PADMÉ

  What cause hast thou to speak with bitter words?

  Thou wouldst not stay and him thine help deprive.

  He is thy mentor, you are like two birds

  Who fly together t’ward a common thing.

  ANAKIN

  Forsooth, the man is like a father gull,

  Who rais’d his fledgling till it could take wing,

  He shar’d his nest with me, my faults did cull,

  And, with paternal love, taught me to fly.

  I know the duty I do owe to him,

  Yet thou heard’st Master Windu’s strict reply:

  I must stay here, not fly upon a whim.

  PADMÉ

  His order was to guard me, not to hide,

  And I shall soar to help thine Obi-Wan.

  If thou shalt some protection yet provide,

  Thou must come with me till mine errand’s done.

  ANAKIN

  O, wondrous wit of women’s strength thou hast,

  And I am all entangl’d in thy braid.

  We shall find Obi-Wan, and at the last

  The Jedi Council’s orders are obey’d.

  Enter R2-D2 and C-3PO as all enter the cruiser.

  C-3PO

  Now unto space we fly—it works me woe:

  Methought that I would never travel so.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 3.

  On the planet Coruscant.

  Enter JEDI 1 and JEDI 2.

  JEDI 1

  Good friend, well met.

  JEDI 2

  —And thee as well, holla!

  How hast thou spent this lovely, merry day?

  JEDI 1

  A’wondering o’er what the future brings.

  JEDI 2

  Indeed? What is it that thou wonderest?

  JEDI 1

  Our stories and our strivings and our wars:

  Shall they in other times remember’d be?

  Is’t possible, that some long time from now,

  Mayhap in galaxy far, far away,

  Our tales shall be imparted to the young?

  Will there be anyone who doth recall

  Wise Master Yoda’s striking witticisms,

  Or noble Master Windu’s boundless might?

  What would some future, far-off galaxy

  Think of our battles and adventures here?

  Shall our Republic yet remember’d be

  When all empirically is past and gone?

  JEDI 2

  O, heavy thoughts! Pray, let me rest thy mind,

  For I have often wonder’d this myself.

  JEDI 1

  Yea, truly? What conclusions hast thou reach’d?

  JEDI 2

  But this: why should another galaxy

  Well in the future e’er have need of us?

  The future of another place shall be

  Far different than we could ever think.

  Canst thou imagine folk in some far place

  All gather’d round to see our stories play’d—

  Their young men in our clothing all attir’d,

  Their women as our princesses array’d,

  Their builders fashioning a scene to match,

  Their artisans detailing starship parts,

  Their scholars indexing each term of ours,

  Their engineers attempting to make droids,

  Their foolish jesters mashing up our words?

  ’Tis near unthinkable, some culture hence

  That knows of our beloved, sacred Force.

  JEDI 1

  My friend, thy words are unexpected balm.

  Long time ahead in galaxy far off,

  They shall have situations hard enough

  That they need not rehearse our troubl’d times.

  JEDI 2

  Thou seest? ’Tis plain. Unless our stories were

  Some maudlin form of entertainment. Ha!

  JEDI 1

  How passing strange such galaxy would be.

  JEDI 2

  And now to supper. Wilt thou come?

  JEDI 1

  —Lead on!

  [Exeunt Jedi 1 and Jedi 2.

  Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE.

  PALPATINE

  The actors are arrang’d, the scene is set,

  The script itself is written in Fate’s hand.

  Still, some few wisps of drama must unfold

  Ere I do rise beyond this theatre.

  The witless players make approach anon,

  Some have their lines prewritten in mine hand,

  For I have paid them well to act my play.

  The others are mere tools unto my will,

  Not players they, but play’d by my deceits.

  Mine entrance through the portico unto

  The stage that Fortune hath design’d for me

  Is imminent, the role for which I live.

  My Senate role was merely cameo,

  And chancellor is merely understudy

  Unto that part I cherish: emperor.

  Now grasp it swiftly, worthy Palpatine:

  Make sure the en
trances and exits are

  Directed to the purpose of thine act.

  From groundling unto stalls and balcony

  The globe itself is thine, if thou so choose.

  Enter YODA, MACE WINDU, BAIL ORGANA, JAR JAR BINKS, SENATOR ASK AAK, and VICE CHANCELLOR MAS AMEDDA.

  BAIL

  ’Tis clear the Commerce Guilds prepare for war,

  Of that we are beyond all doubt by now.

  PALPATINE

  Count Dooku hath devis’d a treaty with

  The Guilds, that much is sure.

  ask

  —Debate no more!

  The army of the clones must soon be ours.

  ’Tis ready for the taking—we would be

  But folly-fallen fools to pass it by.

  BAIL

  Nay, our debate is neither clos’d nor done.

  The Senate never shall approve the use

  Of clones unless the sep’ratists attack.

  MAS

  This crisis doth demand such measures as

  Would not elsewise be us’d. The Senate must

  Convey what powers to the chancellor

  We may, to stifle this emergency.

  He then may, by supreme command, approve

  Creation of an army of the clones.

  PALPATINE

  What senator would have such courage to

  Propose such radical amendment, eh?

  MAS

  If Amidala were but here.

  PALPATINE

  —Indeed.

  [Exeunt all but Jar Jar.

  JAR JAR

  Insinuation fills my troubl’d ears—

  ’Tis clear this senator and Palpatine

  Wish me to act the part of Padmé here

  And vote the chancellor a pow’r complete.

  They would play me as though I were a pipe,

  With stops and whistles made for their employ.

  They would pluck out the heart of my myst’ry,

  Would sound me from my lowest note unto

  The top of my compass if they had th’skill.

  I shall not be so play’d, for I am not

  The fool for which they take me, here to be

  Conducted in a ballad dissonant.

  Yet of mine own accord, I see this path:

  Mine efforts—since the Jedi first did come

  To my Naboo—have been t’ward harmony,

  Betwixt the Gugans and Naboo at first,

  And then, in Coruscant, t’ward peace profound

  For ev’ry race within our galaxy.

  I have not power to foresee how all

  These matters shall unfold. Still, conscience doth

  Compel me to continue as I may,

  And strive for reconciliation e’er.

  Methinks these sep’ratists are rank and vile,

  E’er striving to create division harsh.

  Our dear Republic, though imperfect ’tis,

  Is still the galaxy’s profoundest hope

  For peace among the races that exist.

  Mayhap an army to protect our aims

  Shall be the best solution. O, that I

  Could have some knowledge of the future time.

  Yet lacking knowledge thus, I only know

  That which, o’er time, hath been made known to me,

  And judging thus, I do trust Palpatine

  And shall support his labors to protect

  Th’Republic, even by an army here.

  Go confidently to the Senate, Binks,

  There shall I aid the common good, methinks.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 4.

  On the planet Geonosis.

  Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, bound in fetters, and COUNT DOOKU.

  OBI-WAN

  O, traitor vile! You wretched, scheming rogue.

  DOOKU

  You have it wrong, my friend. What we have here

  Is but a failure to communicate.

  My strong associates have gone too far,

  To see you bound is madness to mine eyes.

  OBI-WAN

  Yet ’tis your cool hand that leads here, ’tis true?

  DOOKU

  ’Tis naught to do with me, believe me, sir.

  I shall petition for your quick release.

  OBI-WAN

  I hope it shall not be too long a time,

  For I’ve important work to do hereon.

  DOOKU

  Well said, and to the point: say, wherefore hath

  A Jedi Knight to Geonosis come?

  OBI-WAN

  I track a bounty hunter, Jango Fett.

  Know you the man?

  DOOKU

  —No bounty hunters live

  Herein of which I am aware, because

  The Geonosians do not trust their kind.

  OBI-WAN

  Yea, who would blame them for this sound mistrust?

  Yet he is here, of that I am convinc’d.

  DOOKU

  ’Tis piteous our paths did never cross

  Ere now, brave Obi-Wan, for Qui-Gon e’er

  Spoke well of you. Would that he still did live,

  For in this time his counsel would prove true.

  OBI-WAN

  Nay, Qui-Gon Jinn would never join with you.

  DOOKU

  Be not so sure, young Jedi, all may not

  Be quite so clear as you imagine ’tis.

  You do forget, perhaps, that he was once

  Apprentic’d unto me as you to him.

  The Senate’s rank corruption was well known

  To him, and ne’er would he have walk’d their path

  If he had learn’d the truth of where it leads.

  OBI-WAN

  What truth?

  DOOKU

  —A truth you never shall believe.

  Pray, listen with an open, willing ear.

  I shall unveil to you a wondrous tale,

  How the Republic hath been undermin’d

  And is, e’en now, within the full control

  Of one most fear’d, the dark lord of the Sith.

  OBI-WAN

  Such tales are meant to frighten children, Count,

  Yet are but fiction in the light of day.

  The Jedi would be well aware of such

  A power, were it making some ascent.

  DOOKU

  The dark side of the Force doth make them blind.

  Full many senators, e’en hundreds, aye,

  Are rul’d by the Sith lord, Darth Sidious.

  OBI-WAN

  Your words are but an idle tale, sir.

  DOOKU

  The Federation viceroy once did work

  Darth Sidious withal, but was betray’d

  A decade since by this dark, evil lord.

  The viceroy came to me and told me all.

  I prithee, join with me, strong Obi-Wan.

  When our strength is combin’d, we shall conclude

  This bitter conflict and bring order to

  The galaxy entire.

  OBI-WAN

  —I never shall

  Join with you; I would rather be destroy’d.

  DOOKU

  Your liberation may prove difficult.

  [Exit Obi-Wan.

  I tell him naught but truth, yet he is deaf:

  These Jedi are made weak by their own pride.

  Reality shall come a’crashing in

  Unless the Jedi ope their eyes anon.

  Still, I would haply have been join’d by him,

  Together he and I could rule as Sith.

  Zounds! Mine ambition knows no end, ’tis true—

  E’en as I serve my lord, I seek his place.

  Ha! Obi-Wan’s defiance matters not,

  Reduc’d to bones he shall be by our plot.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 5.

  On the planet Coruscant, inside the Senate chamber.

  Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE, VICE CHANCELLOR MAS AMEDDA, JAR JAR BINKS, and other MEMBERS OF THE GALACTIC SENAT
E. Enter YODA and MACE WINDU on balcony, observing the proceedings.

  JAR JAR

  ’Tis clear dat desa sep’ratist, dey

  Did make a pact wid Federation.

  Ye senators, dellow felagates,

  We should respond to dis big threatee

  To our Republic wid a big show:

  So meesa do propose de Senate

  Immediate emergency pow’r

  Give to de Chancellor Supreme, yea?

  SENATORS

  ’Tis Palpatine, aye, Palatine, hurrah!

  MAS

  Give order in the Senate, order now!

  PALPATINE

  It is with a reluctance limitless

  That I receive and do accept this charge.

  Democracy is that which I do love,

  And our Republic is mine heart’s desire.

  I shall lay down this burthen of vast pow’r

  When time shall be this crisis hath declin’d.

  My first act, by this fresh authority,

  Shall be a mighty army to establish,

  Which shall protect and serve th’Republic’s cause

  And counter this increasing, ugly threat

  That cometh from the faithless sep’ratists.

  SENATORS

  An army, aye! For Palpatine, hurrah!

  MACE

  [to Yoda:] Then it is done, the army shall exist:

  Republic hath a loaded weapon gain’d.

  The Jedi who remain shall come with me

  To Geonosis, aiding Obi-Wan.

  YODA

  Visit I shall make

  To cloners on Kamino.

  Their story I’ll hear.

  There shall I inspect

  This clone army, and lay claim

  In Republic’s name.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 1.

  On the planet Geonosis, the droid foundry and the execution arena.

  Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER and PADMÉ, in ship with C-3PO and R2-D2.

 

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