“It just sort of burst out of me. I saw those papers and I just…exploded.”
“He’ll go to the fire-starters program,” Chad said. Jeannie held his gaze. Something had changed in him, too. Did it have something to do with Nicky? She saw a look flick between them, and realized God had indeed been in all that happened tonight. Chad’s eyes held a soft surety, the final barrier between them torn down. “He did set those papers on fire down the by riverbank, but that’s not the reason for the siren.”
“You what?” Jeannie caught Chad’s eye over Nicky’s head.
“I doubt it will happen again,” Chad replied. “We’re on the right track now. All of us.”
“Thank you,” she said, feeling like the words didn’t come close to what needed to be said. She peeled one hand off of Nicky to extend it toward Chad, and he took it with none of his earlier hesitation. His hand encompassed hers with a new strength, his eyes fired with even more warmth than she’d seen before. “I’m so glad you were the one to find him.”
He swallowed, and she could see his throat work to keep his emotions in check. “Me, too.” It barely came out above a whisper.
“I would have come home after a while,” Nicky added, evidently needing to keep Chad’s heroics in their proper perspective.
“Well, you’ll be home a good long time, mister. You’re grounded until I can come up with something worse.” Nicky looked like he saw that coming, offering no more resistance than a gulp and a shrug of his shoulders. The sheer mention of home reminded her just how tired she was. Suddenly every part of her body ached, her neck and shoulders seemed to be nothing but knots. “I think it’s time we all go home and put ourselves back together.” She wiped a bit of grime from Nicky’s chin. “You go wait in the car. I’ve got to talk to Mr. Owens for a moment.”
Evidently Nicky hadn’t lost all of his attitude in the chaos. “Oh, I’m sure you do,” he said with a theatrical disdain as he turned toward the car.
Jeannie caught his elbow. “But not before you thank Mr. Owens for what he did tonight.”
Nicky turned back and dragged his gaze up to Chad. “Um, thanks. For everything.” It wasn’t nearly as reluctant as Jeannie expected. Something really had transpired between those two tonight. She wondered if she’d get it out of Nicky, or if she’d need to wait and talk to Chad. As it was, Chad stared at her as if he had a lot to say but knew now wasn’t the time.
“I won’t keep your mom long. Don’t ever make me do that again.” Chad gently cuffed the boy. “I’m too old for this sort of thing, and you’re too smart.”
Chad’s hand found hers and clung to it as they watched Nicky climb into the Jeep. Her throat tightened up as she turned to Chad. The desire to find out why he looked so different—and to tell him how she felt about him—warred inside her with the need to be beside her son. Nicky had been the center of her universe for so long, it felt odd—not wrong, just odd—to have someone else vie for her heart’s focus.
Chad’s thumb ran tenderly along the back of her palm. “You need to go be with Nick, and I’d better go over there.” He nodded toward the firehouse. “But I need to talk to you. Soon. I…well, there’s a lot to say.”
Jeannie squeezed his hand. “Come by when you’re done?”
“It might be late.”
She’d wait. She needed to unscramble the day with him beside her. She needed to know why his eyes held such a different light, what had finally gotten through to Nicky, needed Chad to know her heart. “I’ll be there.”
“Okay then.” He hesitated for a split second, then leaned down and planted a quick, careful kiss on her cheek.
Jeannie could not leave it at that. She flung her arms around him and kissed him. This time there was no resistance, no tension, as if the tight binding she’d always felt in him had been cut loose. She felt his cheek come down to rest on the top of her head, felt his arms clasp her tightly. “Thank you, ” she said again, not bothering to squelch the small sob that came at the end of her words. “Thank you for finding him.”
The Jeep’s horn beeped, and Chad pulled back to look at her, swallowing hard. “We sort of found each other. I’ll tell you later, I promise. You go home and I’ll be there soon enough.”
He loved her.
Chad walked across the street in a stunned silence. He’d been in love with Jeannie maybe for weeks now, but wouldn’t allow himself to admit it. He’d managed to convince himself she couldn’t possibly feel the same way about someone like him, but that unsinkable sunshine spirit of hers kept pushing through his defenses. Her affections, the light of her amazing spirit kept seeping into cracks and thawing frozen places until he had no choice but to love her. He’d tried to turn away, tried to deny what he felt, what she made him feel. He’d blocked her at every turn without even realizing it. He’d blocked God’s every attempt to reenter his life, too, until Jeannie had helped to push that door open again as well. To a faith of his own, not the echo of someone else’s. What a gift Jeannie Nelworth was. What a fool he’d been to push that gift away for so long in the name of “mourning.”
Somehow, life had gone beyond “mourning Laurie” into some sort of “refusing to live” that Laurie would never have wanted. How sad she would have been to watch guilt strangle Chad’s faith like this. I’ve gone so very wrong, Lord. I’ve done no honor to Laurie’s memory. Grant me the chance to start over, here, with them. I’m begging You.
“Structure fire by the old graveyard,” George said as Chad pushed open the firehouse doors. “I could use you.”
“Sure.” For the first time in years he’d climbed into his gear with only adrenaline raising his pulse, not the tight twist of irrational fear that had choked him before.
Someone had doused a gardener’s shack by the historical cemetery with gasoline. A disturbing prank, the kind every firefighter dreads will turn into something worse. “These kids never think it will get out of hand,” a fireman had said as they held a hose to the tiny building. “If I get my hands on the hooligan who started this…”
It isn’t Nick, Chad told himself as they worked to contain the blaze. It won’t be Nick. Not now. We got him in time.
Chad went back to the firehouse and shed his gear, feeling weary enough to sleep a week. He was aching to see Jeannie, to hold her, but another ache demanded one more thing of him. So, despite the hour, Chad pulled his truck beside the historic cemetery that now lay wet and glistening in the moonlight.
He made his way through the soaked grass to a small, rounded marker that looked like the one marking where Laurie’s ashes had been strewn. He rarely went to that place—it was a hundred miles away and Laurie was rejoicing and free in Heaven to him, not marked by marble. If he went anywhere, it was to the three trees he’d donated in her name to the local arboretum. They were the best earthly tribute to her.
He somehow knew this was farewell. The goodbye to her needed to be tonight, and he was sure Laurie would be okay with right here. Maybe she was even telling him “here, now,” for the thumping in his brain sounded so much like her low, musical voice.
The marker was cold and coarse, but he put his hand to it anyway. “I loved you,” he whispered, the words heavy with exhaustion and the torment of the past eight years. “I love her.” He’d loved Laurie, but dying with her wasn’t what God wanted. Life allowed second chances—for him, for Jeannie, for Nick. Jeannie would never cancel out the place Laurie had held in his life; Jeannie was the healing balm to the wounds of guilt he’d inflicted on himself. Wounds God had seen fit to heal as He pulled Chad back toward Himself.
Chad looked up at the moon—the moon that had looked down so kindly on his first kiss with Jeannie—and felt the chaff of eight wasted years blow off him in the night wind. Life was starting over tonight. The turning point for all of them had finally come. There was only one place to be, only one woman to be with, only one thing that needed saying.
“Nicky told me everything,” Jeannie blurted out the moment Chad was inside her door, mos
tly because she needed to say it and she was worried that if she gave in to the urge to fall into Chad’s arms, she’d never speak again. “He really thought people accused him of our fire? I thought he knew better than to believe something like that from Scott Collins. No boy should shoulder that kind of pain. Not even for a minute.”
“As for Scott Collins, George just phoned. It was Scott Collins who set tonight’s fire. George recognized his dad’s initials on the bottom of the gas can we found by the shed. Scott confessed when George went over there after the fire.”
“Scott set the fire.”
“It explains why he’d been egging Nick on, and a lot of other things. Nick will go the prevention program, but Scott now has actual arson charges against him.”
“Arson charges. Oh, Chad, that could have been Nick. We need to get him into that program. How could I have denied he needed this when…?”
Chad shushed her. “You are his mother. You see the boy you love, not the part you can’t fix. Guilt…guilt makes us go blind.” The finger he’d placed on her lips feathered down her cheek, making Jeannie’s head spin. There was no hint of the shadows that so often came across his eyes, only a rich deepness of peaceful green. “I know a thing or two about it. I think…I know God put you and Nick in my life because of it.”
“Thank you, Chad.” She leaned against him. “For what you are to Nicky…Nick.” She looked up into his eyes, not in the least bit afraid to say what she felt. “For what you are to me.”
“You’re amazing, you know that?” He touched a lock of her hair, his eyes falling shut for just a moment at the contact. For a second she thought the floor swayed under her feet. There was no restraint in him, but also no tension. He was grimy, exhausted, but totally at peace. “Did you know I woke up this morning thinking about the way your hair feels? I’m not used to such gushy stuff.” He let his arms slide around Jeannie, and she melted into the perfect circle of his embrace. “Talking to Nick tonight, well, it opened up my eyes. I hadn’t realized how much guilt I still carried or that it had built up such a thick wall. I’m ready to get back to life. To faith. To you.”
He used to stumble on words about faith before, now he spoke with clarity. To see such weight lifted from him told her she’d underestimated the depth of his pain.
“I’m so thankful God gave Nicky someone who understood his struggle.” She wanted to burst out that she loved him, but she knew he needed to be the first to say it. Instead, she sighed and slid her hands to his chest. His heart was thumping wildly under her hand—as wildly as her own pulse pounded.
He pulled her closer, his gaze making her knees buckle, his breath dancing over her neck and his hands wandering across her back. “Thank you,” he said, letting his forehead fall against hers. “I’m in love with every brave, polka-dotted bit of you, you must know that by now.”
Jeannie’s smile filled her whole body. She left small kisses on his cheek, thinking he smelled of smoke and courage. “I suspected the feeling was mutual. Your quiet is ten times braver than my busy, do you know that? I love that about you. I love you.”
Chad pulled back with solemn eyes. “I want a life that includes you and Nick. I can’t imagine a life that doesn’t include the two of you. You want that, too, don’t you?”
“With all my heart.” She kissed him. After all the jolts of the evening, it was like waking up slowly to a welcome truth. The kiss quickly ignited into a tumble of pent-up hope that left them bumping against the wall like teenagers on a front porch. It was joyful, the healing opposite of every dark fear the night had held, until the latch on Nicky’s door clicked open and they froze.
“Oh, man,” Nicky groaned as he swiped his hair out of his eyes, “I was afraid it was you two.” There wasn’t a hint of surprise in his voice. In fact, he seemed a bit annoyed at the whole thing.
“Listen, Nicky.... Nick…” Jeannie was absolutely stumped for what to say. Surely she’d kissed Chad before, but she was suddenly torn between dropping Chad’s hand and hanging on to it for dear life.
Nicky leaned against the opposite wall and rolled his eyes. “Puh-lease. You’ve been all googly-eyed since Aunt Abby’s. It’s not like I’m five or anything.”
Jeannie felt Chad’s hand tighten on hers. “So you’re okay with this?” he asked carefully.
Nicky looked at Jeannie instead, narrowing his eyes. “Will I get grounded less time if I say yes?”
“Absolutely not!” Jeannie replied, then pulled out of Chad’s grip to give her son a hug. “But say yes, anyway.”
“I’m fine.” He extricated himself from Jeannie’s hug. “Actually, I’m hungry. Do we have any more popcorn?”
Epilogue
February 2010
Chad had never been more nervous in his life. He watched in agony as that “thing” the Gordon Falls Merchants Association claimed was a key made its way up the block. No one could ever remember how the Gordon Falls business opening tradition had gotten its start, but for years now a large decorated key would be passed up the street from merchant to merchant until it reached the new business owner to signify its official opening. This week, the week before Valentine’s Day, all of Gordon Falls was anticipating the reopening of Sweet Treats. Especially him. He’d thanked God every day that Jeannie and Nick had come through the holidays better, stronger and healing. Nick was doing well after the JFIP program, his grades back up and the boy’s brighter nature returned. They’d moved into their new home two weeks ago, and the world was falling peacefully into place.
Except for today. Today, Chad was on the verge of panic. Only Abby and Nick knew why.
Chad groaned as the “key” came closer. Abby’s taste for excess had run its course; the key was a shocking bubble-gum pink hue and coated with rhinestones. Even worse, a too-big polka-dotted yellow bow fluttered in the chilly February breeze like garish kite tails. He felt in his pocket for the addition he would make to that key, tried to stay calm and keep his breathing easy. This was a delicate operation, a crucial moment. Don’t blow it. Stay calm. Chad gulped as Principal Hunnington plunked the heavy key into his hand.
Abby, according to their plan, threw up a handful of yellow confetti to make a diversionary fuss. Chad twisted out of eyesight and fiddled with the key for the ten seconds Abby’s distraction provided. He doubled the knot in the bow, took a deep breath and passed the key on to Pastor Allen. The minister grinned when he saw the addition, but said nothing as he passed it to Nick. With a sheepish thumbs-up to Chad, Nick passed the key to his mother.
A cheer went up as Jeannie took the key, did a silly little jig and flipped the sign on Sweet Treats’s front door to OPEN. For a heart-stopping moment, Chad couldn’t see her through the crowd now pressing up against the entrance. Then, as a highly female sound pierced the air, Abby managed to part the crowd between them so that he had a clear view of Jeannie. She held up the ribbon tied to the end of the key, dangling the diamond ring he’d tied to the polka-dotted fabric.
Jeannie came at him like the ball of sunshine she was, hitting him at full speed with an embrace that took his breath away. It was as if all the joy in the world exploded right in front of him, as if the length of his life lined up to this moment. He could barely make out her “Yes!” from the flurry of kisses she planted everywhere. Laughing and catching her up in a spin of bliss that felt too good to be true, Chad let himself be carried away by a wave of cheers as those around him caught on to what had just happened. Even Plug howled in approval.
* * * * *
Dear Reader,
No one likes pain. Even if it is the most effective way to create change, it’s hardly the most pleasant. God can always redeem the worst pain, even when we can’t see how. We get into trouble when we hoard our pain for ourselves rather than give it to the Great Healer. Chad learns he’s held on to his pain far too long; it has choked his life surely as the smoke he fights in fires. Jeannie has spent so much of her energy focusing on the sweetness of life that she’s denied her pain and Nick’s.
All three of them need God’s touch, and I delighted in crafting the story of how they all brought each other closer to His healing and restoration. I hope their sweet story gives you hope for whatever pain you are in, and that the love they find helps you see the love waiting in your own life. As always, I love to hear from you at www.alliepleiter.com or P.O. Box 7026, Villa Park, IL 60181.
Questions for Discussion
Have you ever tried to smile through a big problem, pretending it’s all okay when it isn’t? What works about that strategy? When does it go wrong?
Do you think George’s dog-walking scheme is brilliant or misguided?
Would you have scheduled the fire drill for Nicky’s school? Why or why not?
Sometimes animals really do help us heal—has this happened to you? What did they give you that a human friend could not?
When has a silly-but-real fear derailed you like Jeannie’s fear of lighting a match? How did, or didn’t you get over it?
Do you think Abby is meddling, or nudging her friend out of a “stuck” place?
How did you handle the last time a family member made a huge mistake like Nicky’s expulsion? What would you do differently?
Nicky says “nobody gets what it’s like” to survive a fire. What’s happened in your life that people have a hard time understanding? What can you do about it?
Do you agree or disagree with Chad’s idea that his faith was weak because it started out as admiration of Laurie’s faith?
What food gives you “the caramel swoon”?
Do you have a friend with the most wonderful gift of showing up when needed? Have you thanked them lately?
What do you think of the Chinese lanterns? Would you welcome something like that or find it pretentious?
Presented with the scary concept of the fire-starter’s program, what would you do in Jeannie’s shoes?
Falling for the Fireman Page 16
