"What made you excited and happy, just then?" Nathaniel asked as he and Nicky joined me. Millie stayed beside me and Custer fell in behind us like a walking body shield. I was pretty confident at our safety in the parking lot because I knew there was a hidden observation post near the roofline of the Circus, complete with a trained sniper, most of the time. Even we didn't have enough snipers for 24-7 coverage. Tonight, the guards in the crow's nest, which was our current guard-speak for it, were probably watching us through the scopes of their long guns.
"I may have thought of something that could help Micah out with the latest shapeshifter issue."
Nathaniel reached out for my hand, but it was my right hand and he knew in public I liked that free for weapons. "I think you're safe to hold hands for a few yards," Nicky said.
"That has to be Anita's call," Nathaniel said.
If he'd just taken my hand because someone else told him it was okay, I'd have probably protested, but he'd said just the right thing. "I think we can chance it," I said, smiling at him and holding out my hand.
The smile that Nathaniel gave me made it all worthwhile, made me wish that I was less pedantic about keeping my gun hand free more often. We made it safely to the back door of the Circus hand in hand, grinning at each other like there was no one else in the world in that moment.
"Kitten has a Robin to deliver," Nicky said, apparently to the air, but I knew it was actually into the earpiece he'd slipped on when we got closer to home.
"I hate that call sign," I said.
The lock made a thick thunk sound, and then the back door to the Circus started to swing open.
"You wouldn't pick a code name," Nicky said.
"Everyone picked one but you, Anita," Nathaniel said, smiling. He'd chosen Robin after Batman's boy-wonder sidekick. I guess anything was better than the code names based on chess pieces. I'd been the black queen, Jean-Claude the black king, and so on . . . It had all seemed too obvious who was who, so we'd decided to let all the protectees choose a code name. Everyone had had fun doing it except me. I couldn't decide. They all seemed silly, or not right, but almost anything would have been better than Kitten.
The door opened and I couldn't see anyone through it, which meant it wasn't one of the newer guards, or one of the ones from "civilian" backgrounds. If the police and the military kept their policy of kicking people out if they tested positive for lycanthropy, we were going to have enough of their exes to field our own small army.
"All you have to do is pick a different one, and we'll use it," Nicky said as Millie moved up so that he'd go through the door first.
"Oh hell, Nicky, if it was that easy, I'd have done it already."
We finally stepped into the small area between the door that led into the Circus and the door that led to the underground where Jean-Claude lived and where I spent more than half my time. One direction was bright lights, carnival games, food booths, rides, and the sideshow where Melanie the Lamia would be entertaining her fans. I must have started toward the door toward the midway instead of the one that led to the underground apartments, because Nicky said, "Jean-Claude and Micah are waiting for us."
That stopped me from doing anything stupid. If Micah didn't want me to share the pictures with Edward, he certainly wouldn't want me to share them with Melanie. "I didn't realize Micah was already here."
"Jean-Claude's jet doesn't have mechanical issues," Nicky said.
"Right," I said, but I was already thinking that I could run the idea of talking to Melanie by him. Surely the shapeshifters in Florida would give the okay. Hell, Melanie was from ancient Greece originally, or maybe even older than that, but lamias were part of Greek legend, so she might have answers that no one else would.
Nathaniel tugged on my hand. I looked at him and then at the door Nicky was holding open. I couldn't do anything until I talked to Micah, so I let him lead me to the other door. Besides, we had about a mile of stairs to walk down before we reached the last door into the underground. I wasn't joking about the mile, and the steps were carved from the bedrock, so they weren't perfectly square, or perfectly even, and they were oddly spaced, as if whatever they were original designed for hadn't moved on two legs like a person. If you couldn't do the cardio, you'd be exhausted before you ever got to the big door at the bottom. I wondered if anyone had ever broken in and just given up before they finished the stairs.
As if he'd read my thoughts, Millie said, "My wife says I'm in the best shape she's ever seen me, and the only difference to my exercise regime is these stairs."
"These damned stairs, you mean," Custer said.
"I thought SEALs never complained," I said.
Custer laughed. "Oh hell, no, who told you that?"
Nathaniel and I laughed with him. Nicky remained happily stoic beside me. "Fair enough. I thought SEALs didn't complain about physical hardships," I said.
"We don't," Millie said.
"You just did," Nathaniel said, smiling and glancing from one to the other of the men.
"This isn't hardship," said Custer.
Nathaniel and I digested that thought for a second or two. "Some SEALs bitch, some don't," Nicky said.
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"I used to work with a lot of contract workers; that runs high to special teams, even Navy SEALs."
"Contract workers, contractors," Custer said, "sounds like temporary office help. What happened to soldier of fortune, mercenary, and all the other cool names I remember from old movies?"
"Try putting soldier of fortune down on your tax return and see how well that works," Millie said, smiling back at us all.
"Have you tried?"
"No, and I'm not going to. I've got a wife and kids. I don't need to play fuck-fuck games with the IRS."
Both of the SEALs had relaxed once we got on the stairs, which said, clearly, they thought we were safe here. They were probably right, but it was still interesting seeing them start to loosen up on the job. When they first came to us from the military, they'd barely speak when they were working. I preferred chattier to silent. Millie and Custer had both adapted to that preference. It was one of the reasons they were doing more guarding for me.
Once we got our cardio on the stairs, there was a locked door that looked like it led to a dungeon or a smallish castle. If it was locked, even Nicky, with all his strength, enhanced by being a werelion and the weight lifting, wouldn't get through the door easily. He'd have to pound or tear his way through it, which would give more guards on the other side a chance to get ready for whatever was strong enough to get through the door. There was another pair of guards on the inside of the door to the underground and another pair on the other side of the living room / receiving area. There was another pair of bodyguards guarding the long hallway that had been carved out of bedrock and the natural caves that had been down here eons ago. Then there was another set of bodyguards outside one of the doors before we finally got to the pair outside of Jean-Claude's bedroom door. They let us in, saying, "Renard and Wolverine said to let you in without announcing you first."
Renard was Jean-Claude, and Wolverine was Micah. I did not like the new call signs, which was probably part of the reason I was having such trouble choosing one for myself. The guards opened the door to Jean-Claude's bedroom, and Milligan and Custer were dismissed, not officially in a military way, but they'd delivered Nathaniel and me to our "base."
The door closed behind us, and I for one let out a long breath and the tension between my shoulder blades that had been building up somewhere between all the guard checks. I'd agreed to Claudia trying out a new guard rotation, but I hadn't quite realized what it might mean for just everyday life inside the Circus. If Micah had been feeling overwhelmed by the number of people in our lives before, this wasn't going to help. I'd expected to find Micah and Jean-Claude in the custom-made orgy-size bed that dominated the bedroom, but the glow from a single bedside lamp showed the bed empty. It was even still neatly made up: Today's comforter was roya
l blue, with pillows in matching colors interspersed with deep red ones at the head of the four-poster bed, which probably meant the silk sheets underneath it all would be red to match the accent pillows. The lamp left most of the room in shadows, but it gave enough light to see by. The faux fireplace against one wall, a fur rug and grouping of chairs in front of it, was empty, too. Usually I was disappointed not to find Jean-Claude waiting for me first thing, but today an empty room seemed good. It was as if seeing more people right that moment would have been too much, no matter who it was.
"They're in the bathroom," Nicky said.
"You can hear them?" I asked.
"And smell the bubble bath."
Nathaniel sniffed the air. "Lavender," he said.
I couldn't smell a damn thing from that far away, but then, when it came to scent tracking, I was only human.
"Before we go into the bathroom, can we talk about all the guards that we just went through?" Nathaniel asked.
"Sure," I said.
"Do we need that many guards?" he asked.
"No," Nicky said.
"Claudia talked to me about trying out a new heightened security guard rotation," I said.
"Is there a new threat I don't know about?" Nathaniel asked.
"No, and that's the point. She wanted to try out the new heightened security before we needed it, so we could work out the bugs," I said.
"It's not just the Circus," Nicky said.
"I know, we're testing the new security across all the businesses," I said.
"You could have mentioned it to us, or did you tell everyone but me?" Nathaniel said.
I squeezed his hand, which was still in mine. I was happy he hadn't pulled away. "I didn't think to mention it to anyone in our poly group, Nathaniel. I'm sorry--you're right. I should have given all of you a heads-up, but between trying to do three weddings, work at Animators Inc., and being a marshal, plus the poly group, I think I'm just losing track of it all."
Nathaniel squeezed my hand, which made me look at him. "Wow, you! Admitting that you can't keep track of things before they blow up in your face. Yay, therapy!" He smiled at the end, but I didn't smile back.
I felt that spurt of anger inside me that was always there like a pilot light just waiting for the right spark, but I breathed through it. I counted and breathed and remembered that I was in love with Nathaniel and he was right.
His smile faded around the edges and he looked at me with those big, beautiful eyes of his, waiting for me to fall back into old patterns and start a fight that didn't need to happen, or do my famous pull away, or even runaway, from him, from the relationships, from everything. I forced myself to relax all the way down to the hand that was holding his and said, "Yeah, yay, therapy."
He gave me a smile that made me happy that I'd been smart instead of stupid, and that I was working through my issues rather than letting them blow my life up. He came to me then, leaning his forehead down so that he touched the top of my head. "I love you so much right now."
I grinned and moved so I was looking up at him. "Why, because I'm working on my issues?"
"Yes," he whispered and kissed me.
"They know we're out here," Nicky said.
I drew back from the kiss. "I figured they did."
Nathaniel started leading me across the carpet and toward the closed bathroom door. Nicky said, "You were really bothered by the extra guards. I thought you liked crowds."
"I like group sex, not crowds," Nathaniel said.
"So, are you feeling overwhelmed by this many people, too?" I asked.
"I don't mind people I'm sleeping or playing with, but most of the guards are just guards. I like an audience, but they aren't good for that."
"We're supposed to be protecting you, not watching the show," Nicky said.
Nathaniel paused with his hand on the door to the bathroom. "Can't you do both?"
"Not really and not well."
"The other guards stopped at the door. Are you still guarding us?" Nathaniel asked.
Nicky smiled. "No, I'm just going to say hi and do this." He drew me into his arms, all that muscle wrapping around me as Nathaniel let go of my hand. Everyone I dated was strong, but Nicky had a way of making me aware of it that was exciting and just the tiniest bit scary. I knew physical potential, and if it ever came down to a real fight, I couldn't win against the strength that pulled me in against his body. Lucky for me, I wanted to be in his arms. He kissed me and put a lot of body English into it, so that he finally picked me up, and my feet left the ground. I tried to wrap my legs around him, but the gun at his waist got in the way. He put one hand underneath my ass, so he held me in place and turned the awkward attempt to wrap my legs around him into something sexy. It was like a good dance partner turning your stumble into part of the dance.
He drew back from the kiss with me still held in his arms. "I've been wanting to do that all day." He set me back down with my legs so shaky that he and Nathaniel had to catch me. That made them both laugh that masculine chuckle that either is at your expense or is a compliment. I took it as the second, because they both knew better than to laugh at me, and we loved one another. Laughter edged with love is always good.
7
NICKY OPENED THE door and Nathaniel helped me through while my knees recovered from the kiss. We were all half laughing as we stepped onto the black carpet of the black-on-black bathroom with its black marble, double sinks, and silver fixtures, but what was waiting in the big bathtub at the end of the room stole the laughter and made my knees threaten to go weak again.
The bathtub was big enough for four large adults, so Jean-Claude and Micah didn't have to be next to each other, but they were. Micah's hair was so wet it was black, and slicked back so that the bones of his face were bare in a way that they weren't when all the deep brown of his curls framed him. His tanned skin looked even darker against the utter whiteness of Jean-Claude's chest. The vampire's hair was up in a loose man-bun that looked careless, but I'd been dating him and Nathaniel too long to believe the illusion. It was one of those hairdos that looked messy at first, but the longer you looked at it, the more artful it was, with curls trailing around the edge of his face, tracing the curve of his cheek, the line of his chin, so that his lips seemed framed by white skin and raven black hair. His curls were dry except for a few small ones low on his neck. He had an arm across Micah's shoulders, so the contrast between their skin colors was framed against the black marble of the tub edge and the mounded bubbles, which were only a little less white than the vampire's skin.
Micah blinked green-gold leopard eyes at us, trapped forever in his human face from too much time in animal form, so that he couldn't come completely back now. He wasn't wearing his new glasses, which helped his cat eyes see far away, and I wondered how well he could see us in the doorway.
Jean-Claude gestured with one pale long-fingered hand and my eyes followed the movement so that I was left staring at his face. It wasn't a face that had launched a thousand ships, but it might have launched a thousand seductions in old Europe. Even though Micah's face was finer boned, and he was just more delicately made overall, it was Jean-Claude's face that was the more femininely beautiful, more ambisexual. If I hadn't had their faces so close together, I would have thought it was Micah who would be closer to feminine, but some line or curve just made his face more male.
"I'm going to leave the two of you to stare at your shared boys," Nicky said.
It startled me, as if I'd forgotten he was standing with us for a moment. I felt instantly guilty. I started to try to protest, but he waved it away. "It's okay. This show was for you and Nathaniel, not me. I'm not anyone's lover but yours, and Jean-Claude doesn't need blood from me when he has the three of you."
"You do not have to go on my account, Nicky," Jean-Claude said, "for I will have to be getting dressed for work."
I must have pouted, because Jean-Claude laughed, that wonderful touchable laugh that could caress places in my body that no hand could ev
er reach. It made me shiver and clutch at Nathaniel, who clutched me back. That sensual laugh didn't just work on me.
"It's okay, Jean-Claude. I'll hit the weight room while I can."
"You would leave such bounty for the gym?"
Nicky grinned and shook his head. "If I were more into men, then the gym could go fuck itself, but I'm not, so I'll go and let the four of you have some alone time."
It seemed funny to say "alone time" with four people in a room, but Nicky left, closing the door softly behind him. Nathaniel and I were left standing at the door like we didn't know what to do next.
Nathaniel stripped off his shirt in one smooth motion and threw it to the floor. He started toward the tub, stripping off clothes as he went. Okay, maybe I didn't know what to do next.
8
NATHANIEL HAD KICKED off his shoes and was finishing wiggling out of his jeans by the time I started taking off my jacket and the guns hiding underneath it. There was so much less sexy spontaneity when you were carrying multiple weapons.
"Come join us, ma petite, mon chaton, before I have to leave to attend to much less pleasant duties," Jean-Claude said, reaching out toward me with one pale, muscled arm. He would never bulk the way Nicky did, or even as much as Nathaniel, because he was built like a long-distance runner, tall, lean, graceful lines that moved with strength, but nothing would make him be bulky.
Looking at Jean-Claude had made me miss some of Nathaniel's undressing, so that he was just suddenly nude moving up the three steps of the bathtub. I got completely distracted watching the back of his body from shoulders to legs as he climbed into the sudsy water.
"I can never decide if you look better coming or going," I said.
"I think, ma petite, the phrase you are searching for is dat ass."
Hearing him say the slang in his usually elegant voice made us all laugh. "Yes, that was what I was trying not to say out loud."
Nathaniel looked back over one shoulder at me, flexing his glutes so that his ass flexed like you would to make a biceps harder. It made me laugh again, an edge of almost nervousness to it. I wasn't sure there would ever come a point when I didn't have my moments of, Golly gee whiz, I can't believe I get to play with all these wonderful toys. Sex was a type of play and recreation for me. I'd worked through most of my issues about that, or maybe I'd just accepted that it was supposed to be this way, full of joy, playfulness, and shared humor.
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