Serpentine

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  "Anita and I couldn't imagine you that young and naive, but I guess we all get to be young and stupid."

  "Oh, I was that, honeybunch. I was that in spades." His accent had thickened. I already knew that honeybunch was his special nickname for her. I called Nathaniel pussycat, so I really couldn't bitch.

  She held him tight and then raised her head so he could kiss her. The kiss got a little busy, and I suddenly wanted a graceful exit either for me or for them, but I should have known that Edward was ahead of me.

  "Let's go to our room, honeybunch."

  "I need to go back to the spa. I left Becca getting her nails painted to match her flower-girl dress."

  "Becca will be fine with the other bridesmaids with her."

  "But I ran out on Carol; she must be frantic."

  "She called Frankie, and he told me, and that's how I knew to find you. Carol will explain to everyone that we needed some private time."

  "I'll let the two of you kiss and make up, and I'll go back to my guys."

  Donna grabbed my hand in another spontaneous gesture of how close she seemed to think we were; sometimes I thought she wanted me close so she could keep an eye on me with Edward, but then, like now, I thought she just liked me as a friend. It was all too convoluted and therapy-rich for me.

  "You are the best best woman ever," she said.

  "I'll second that," Edward said in his Ted voice. The smile on his face was all Ted as well. If they ever gave out Oscars for playing your secret identity, I'd vote for Edward.

  They left to go to their room and I was looking forward to going to mine. I wondered if Wyatt and Bram were still with Nathaniel and Micah or if everyone had gone to separate rooms by now. I mean, we did need to talk about vampire Brides and why I'd almost taken a bite out of Wyatt's neck, but I was really hoping for separate rooms and some alone time with Micah and Nathaniel. This was supposed to be a romantic trip for us, damn it. I hadn't even seen the inside of our room yet. But, hey, I'd managed to calm Donna down, and the wedding was still on. As long as I didn't try to take another bite out of anyone, I'd put today in the win column. I started for the door where Nicky and Rodina were waiting to escort me safely back to my room. I was pretty sure the walk back wasn't going to be that dangerous, but I wasn't a bodyguard; I was the body being guarded. The body being guarded has to learn when to shut up and let people do their jobs; I was still learning.

  26

  NICKY WAS STARTING to open the door for me when I was suddenly facing most of the other bridesmaids coming down the hallway. Denny, short for Denise, the five-foot-nine, golden-tanned, natural blond maid of honor, was almost in tears. Dixie was yelling at her. They were almost the same height, and thanks to good hairdressing their hair was even nearly the same shade of blond. You could see the shadow of their being athletes in high school together, though Denny was still a serious runner and even did some triathlons, which meant she was lean and muscled and had that tall athlete's body that only a lifetime of athletics and good genetics will give you. Dixie had stayed thin, but she was no athlete. It made her look ten years older than Denny.

  Nicky looked at me, and I shook my head, mouthing, I'll be fine.

  Rodina peeked around the door and said, "If you need us, just yell."

  "Will do," I said, and followed my fellow bridesmaids back out into the Florida sunshine. At this rate I was going to wish I'd put on sunscreen.

  "Dixie, stop being such a bitch." This from Lucy, Donna's partner in her metaphysical shop. Lucy was not a small woman, but she didn't worry about the fact that she wasn't thin, just like she didn't worry that her hair was mostly gray and white with streaks of the original blond she'd started with in among the other colors. Letting her hair go natural and refusing to use makeup made her look older than she was, but Lucy didn't seem to care about age, so it worked for her. I'd have said she looked like someone's grandmother, but she didn't; she just looked like her. She'd explained that her silver-frame glasses were invisible trifocals, which I hadn't known was possible. She was one of the most comfortable people with age I'd ever met. She was also a practicing witch, as in Wiccan, but since Donna couldn't do anything psychic, one of them needed to be talented.

  "How dare you call me that?" Dixie yelled, turning to face her with her hands in fists at her sides. I really hoped she didn't take a swing at either of them; she might take manhandling from Donna, but me . . . she'd never forgive me.

  "You are being awful, Dixie," Denny said, with a little hiccup that let me know she was either about to start crying or had just stopped.

  "What's happened now?" I asked.

  "Did you know about Ted's first marriage?" Lucy asked.

  "No," I said.

  Dixie made a very unattractive snort. "That's rich. Of course you knew. Men always confide everything in their mistresses."

  "Would you please stop saying that awful lie?" Denny said.

  "It's not a lie," Dixie said.

  "How many times do we have to tell you that there is no affair?" I said.

  "It doesn't matter what you say, Anita. I see the way Ted looks at you."

  "He admires Anita, respects her," Denny said.

  "No man respects and admires a woman unless he's fucking her."

  "Were you looking for me to pick a fight?"

  "No, she wants to tell Peter and Becca that you and Ted are cheating together," Denny said, tearing up again.

  "Peter knows about all of it. You leave Becca alone."

  "When Carol told us about the first marriage and Donna didn't know about that either, I knew it was all lies," Dixie said.

  "What is your problem? Are you jealous that Donna has a second chance at happiness?"

  "I'm not jealous that Donna is about to marry a two-timing liar. I want to save her from making the mistake of her life."

  "She is going to marry Ted," Lucy said, "and nothing you say will change that."

  "She won't forgive him for lying about the first marriage. The wedding is already off."

  "Actually, they made up," I said.

  "I don't believe you."

  "I would say go ask Donna, but they went back to their room to have makeup sex. It'd be rude to interrupt."

  "Liar!"

  I looked at her and let her see how pleased I was that the news upset her. "Why should I lie when the truth pisses you off so much more?"

  "I won't let her make a mistake like this, and if you were her friend, Denny, you'd be with me on this."

  "Ted is perfect for her," Denny said.

  "He's a lying son of a bitch."

  "Donna doesn't agree, and she is going to marry him, Dixie," Lucy said.

  "I'm going to tell the kids, both of them. Peter won't want his mother marrying a cheating bastard."

  "We keep telling you that Peter knows the truth," I said.

  "But Becca doesn't. If I tell her what Ted and you have done, there won't be a wedding."

  "You leave the child alone," Lucy said, and there was a steeliness to her tone that turned her gray-blue eyes mostly gray.

  "Do you not want to be in this wedding, Dixie?" Denny asked.

  "Donna didn't trust Anita and Ted at her own wedding unless Anita had someone else to fuck besides Ted. She was ecstatic when you brought Micah and Nathaniel. She thought with two men at your disposal you'd leave Ted alone for this week, at least."

  Denny started crying again. "You are being so horrible."

  "No, what's horrible is that Donna's own son is okay with her being cheated on."

  "He's Ted's son, too," Lucy said.

  "No! No! I was there for Donna's wedding to Frank. That was true love! If he hadn't died, then Ted would never have gotten his . . . hands on Donna or their children. I have half a mind to tell Peter how disappointed his real father would be that he's not defending Donna's honor."

  "Just leave Peter out of this," I said.

  "The woman who is cuckolding my best friend doesn't get to tell me what to do!"

  I almost said tha
t I wasn't sure a woman could cuckold someone, but I figured that correcting her vocabulary would not help things.

  Lucy touched Dixie's arm and said, "Let Donna handle Peter the way she sees fit, Dixie."

  Dixie jerked away from her and glared at us both. "I will tell Becca and see how the wedding goes with the flower girl accusing her father-to-be of fucking one of the maids of honor."

  "You will not talk to Becca without Donna's permission," Lucy said, before I could say anything.

  "I was there when Becca was born. I'm Aunt Dixie. I'll talk to my niece as I see fit."

  "If you really love that little girl, you will leave her alone," Lucy said.

  "She deserves to know the truth."

  "There is no truth to tell her," I said.

  "Lying bitch," she said.

  "I thought we had the talk about pet names in New Mexico."

  "Donna protected you then."

  "No, she protected you and she told you so, because I heard her say it."

  "You are a vile woman," Dixie said, and her eyes were shiny now, too, as if the anger was turning into tears.

  "Ted is the only father Becca remembers. Do you really want to take that away from her because you don't like him?"

  "I am not the bad guy here," Dixie said.

  "If you tell Becca those lies, then you will be," I said. Dixie went for the door, slamming it behind her so hard that for a second I thought the glass was going to break.

  Denny called out, "Dixie!" and ran after her.

  Lucy patted my arm. "I better go after them and make sure she doesn't do anything we'll all regret, like talk to the kids. I'm sorry this is going to be so unpleasant for you, Anita."

  I actually patted her hand back and said, "Thanks, Lucy. Good luck talking sense into Dixie."

  "Can you tell Bernardo what's going on? Carol told her husband and Marisol told Rufous, but Bernardo doesn't have anyone to fill him in."

  "You think he needs to know right now?"

  She looked at the door. "I have to go make sure Denny and Dixie are all right, but, yes, my intuition says it's important that you talk to Bernardo." She looked at me and there was weight to it; her power, her magic, whatever word, breathed along my skin. "Talk to him, Anita, and then you can go have fun with your men."

  I didn't ask her how she knew I was eager to get to my men--she was psychic, after all, or maybe it was just a good bet that if I had a couple of hours before dinner I was going to be with them. Either way, I wouldn't argue with the power that goose-bumped along my arms.

  I was left alone in sunshine and heat, the sound of waves on the shore below. It should have been idyllic. Peter knew the truth, the real truth, both what his mother had believed and what Ted and I had admitted to, and why we'd admitted to a lie. Peter didn't understand why she'd needed the affair to be real either, but he loved his mother and wanted her to marry Edward. We'd all agreed--Ted, Donna, Peter, and I--that Becca didn't need to know either way. She was eleven; her parents' sex lives weren't her problem. If Dixie told Becca about the affair without Donna's permission, I wouldn't have to take care of Dixie; if Donna didn't do it, Edward would. I didn't think he'd kill her for it, but Dixie didn't understand how much danger she might be in if she messed with his happy family. She saw handsome Bruce Wayne or bumbling Clark Kent, not the Dark Knight or Superman. If she pushed hard enough, she'd find out that even Superman has a temper.

  27

  I TEXTED BERNARDO to find out where he was, and wasn't surprised to find that the answer was "Pool." Nathaniel couldn't follow through on the flirting, but Bernardo was footloose and fancy-free. What better place to pick out his gazelle than the watering hole where he could observe them in their natural, bikini-clad habitat? Rodina took the lead this time, so I could see around her; following Nicky was like driving behind a semitruck on the highway--it blocked all the exit signs. I remembered to put my sunglasses on before walking outside this time; that was an improvement. I could see the sunlight dazzling and dancing on the blue water of the pool, but it didn't blind me this time. There was a family group with two small toddlers at one end of the pool and a dozen young ladies in various states of undress on the other end of the pool. Two of the women were actually wearing one-piece bathing suits, so I'd have to revise my earlier sarcasm about bikini-clad gazelles.

  Some of the women were sitting with their feet dangling in the water, some going in and out of the pool, more showing off their bathing suits than actually swimming. I looked around at all the tables with umbrellas and empty chairs and then realized there was one table I couldn't see because the majority of women were blocking my view. Call it a hunch, but I walked toward the table I couldn't see.

  "We'll wait here," Nicky said as he took up a post at the edge of the gazelle herd.

  "Good luck in there," Rodina said with a smile.

  I had to weave my way through the women until I found him sitting at the table under the umbrella, with a tall drink at hand and a pair of swim trunks the only thing covering all that tall, dark, and handsome. The only thing that surprised me was that the trunks were loose fit. I'd have bet Bernardo was a form-fitting-trunks kind of guy, but, hey, it's nice to leave something to the imagination sometimes. Besides, I'd accidently found out just how well-endowed he was, and maybe looser trunks were better. He wouldn't scare any of his gazelles prematurely.

  It was hot enough that he should have had his long, thick black hair in its usual ponytail or braid, but it was loose around his broad shoulders. It was Bettina, the short brunette who had flirted so hard with Ru earlier, who came up behind him and ran her hands through his hair. Apparently, when she lost out with Ru and Nathaniel, she'd gone looking for other flirtatious men. I looked around and didn't see the redhead but did see the taller brunette in the bright bikini moving in from one side with a fresh drink in her hand. I didn't recognize any of the other women; maybe it was a fresh batch. I'd thought Bernardo would use the swimming pool the way a lion uses a watering hole, but I'd been wrong. He was using himself for bait--not to attract gazelles, but to find a lioness.

  "Hey, Bernardo," I said, and I didn't try to hide the smile and headshake.

  "Hey, Anita."

  "Not you again," the tall brunette said.

  "Are you sleeping with all the beautiful men in the hotel?" Bettina asked.

  Bernardo reached up and caught her hand in his, bringing it around so he could lay a gentle kiss on her wrist. Her eyes damn near fluttered closed. That seemed like a lot of reaction for something so small, but, hey, it wasn't my wrist being kissed.

  "Don't worry, baby--we're just work friends, no benefits."

  "Absolutely no benefits. He's all yours, girls," I said.

  Bettina wrapped her other arm around Bernardo's neck and leaned her breasts against his hair. It was such an obvious marking of territory that it made me smile. Then Bettina put both arms around his neck, which made her breasts spill around either side of his throat like bikini-clad pillows. Bernardo patted her arm but kept looking up at me as if she wasn't trying to hug him with her breasts. This wasn't the reaction she was hoping for. She didn't understand it, but she wasn't frowning at him; she was frowning at me. Why is it that women never blame the guy for ignoring them for another woman, but only blame the other woman?

  "I need to ask you to give the groom a message before you retire to your room."

  "I'm a little busy; why can't you tell him yourself?" he asked, and his voice sounded gruff, almost unfriendly. He moved Bettina's hand so that he could lay a kiss on her other wrist. That made her smile happily and wriggle her breasts even closer to him, though frankly she had to be driving her collarbone into the back of his head at this point, or maybe that was just me being picky.

  "He and the bride went back to their room for makeup sex. I don't want to disturb them, but this is important."

  "Makeup sex? What are they fighting about?"

  "Ted's first marriage that Donna didn't know about."

  "What? I didn't kn
ow Ted had been married before." He'd stopped touching Bettina and was sitting there with her wrapped around his shoulders like a PG-13-rated towel.

  "Neither did I," I said.

  He let the surprise show on his face. "I can see why Donna got pissed."

  Bettina rubbed her face against his hair, which made him reach up and rub his hands down her arms, idly, like you'd pet a dog that had shifted in your lap. The other women were beginning to see the writing on the wall, and it was either going to be Bettina's name or mine, but not theirs. They were looking uncomfortable and frowning at both Bettina and me.

  "I talked her down, but she confided something in Dixie, and now Dixie has shared it with the other bridesmaids and she's threatening to tell Becca, and that would go really badly."

  He was serious now, watching my face, still touching the girl's arms, but even she had figured out he wasn't concentrating on her. She tried to put her leg around the edge of his chair and into his lap, I think, but moves like that look better in the movies. Her leg ended up over the chair arm but couldn't reach more than the edge of his thigh, and it looked awkward, but she kept it there because she couldn't seem to figure out how to take it back. Ah, to be a few years younger and both that bold and that bad at it.

  Bernardo touched her calf, letting her know that he appreciated the effort, but most of his attention was on our conversation. "What is it? What is the crazy bitch threatening to tell the best niece in the world?"

  I tried to think of a clever way to hint, but I suck at hinting. I'm really more of a just-say-it kind of person. Bettina was pouting because he wasn't paying enough attention and the other women were trying to decide if they could outflirt her. The awkward leg thing had given some of them hope. "I'm sorry, ladies. Can you excuse us for just a few minutes? I'll make it quick, promise."

  "Ladies? I'm not a lady," Bettina said, standing up but keeping her hands on his bare shoulders.

  "Well, you said it, I didn't."

  "I meant that you know my name," she said, and I half expected her to stamp her foot at me.

  "Fine. Excuse me, Bettina, but I need to speak with Bernardo for a few minutes."

  She gave a little upset sniff but said, "That's better, thank you." I'd really expected her to be more insulted by all the talk of ladies, but apparently she was harder to insult than I'd thought. She flounced off to join her tall friend, who began to shake her head almost as soon as they started to talk. Bettina might still be game to try to bag Bernardo, but her friend was fed up with me interrupting their fun, or maybe she just didn't like her odds. It was quite a crowd around Bernardo.