“Sorry to hear you’ve been through so much. With things being so bad, I’m surprised you didn’t return home.”
She shook her head and swallowed against the lump clogging her throat. “I told you before. I can’t go back there. Mom would say, ‘I told you so,’ and Dad would lay down a bunch of rules.”
He turned his head and looked at her with a grim expression. “So you came here because you were out of money and had no place else to go?”
She placed her hand cautiously on his arm, hoping he wouldn’t ask her to move it, and was relieved when he didn’t. “That’s not how it was, Titus. When I got your letter, it made me miss what we used to have. I realized that I still cared for you, so I came here, hoping you’d take me back.”
No response. Just a blank look on Titus’s face. Did he believe her? Did he still have feelings for her? Surely he couldn’t have forgotten what they’d once shared.
“I’d like to stay in Kentucky and see about joining the church,” she said.
“That’s … uh … not a good idea.” “How come?”
“It’s different here, and there’d be a lot of adjustments for you to make.”
“I’m good at adapting. I did plenty of that while I was in California.” Phoebe leaned close to his ear. “I know I’ll have to prove myself, and I hope you’ll give me a chance.”
He glanced at her, and then looked quickly away. “It’s not that simple, Phoebe. You see, I have a—”
she squeezed his arm tenderly. “Remember how much fun we used to have when we were courting?”
“Jah, but—”
“Remember how you always said you’d never love anyone but me?”
“I did say that, but now I’m—”
“Please don’t send me away,” she pleaded. “I just can’t go home, and I really want to be here with you.”
When Titus gave no reply, a sense of desperation welled in Phoebe’s soul. Didn’t he want her anymore?
A few minutes later, Titus guided his horse and buggy off the road and turned up a driveway. “This is the Beilers’ place,” he said. “I think it’s best if you wait in the buggy while I speak to them.”
“Okay,” Phoebe said with a nod. Oh, she hoped they would let her stay.
Titus hopped down, secured his horse to the hitching rail, and sprinted for the house.
Phoebe leaned back in the seat and drew in a deep breath to help calm her nerves. She knew she’d taken Titus by surprise, showing up the way she had, and even though he was obviously confused right now, she felt sure that after they spent some time together, everything would work out. She’d make sure it did.
CHAPTER 51
As Titus lay in bed that night, staring into the darkness, he replayed the events of the evening. He’d explained Phoebe’s appearance to the Beilers the best that he could, and they’d graciously agreed to let her stay with them until she figured out what she was going to do. Then he’d said good-bye to Phoebe and hurried back home, feeling the need to be alone so he could think things through.
“What I wish Phoebe would do is go home,” he mumbled. “If she stays here, it’ll wreck things between me and Suzanne, and I might even weaken and take Phoebe back.”
Titus turned onto his side and punched his pillow a couple of times, trying to find a comfortable position. Was it possible that Phoebe had been telling the truth about wanting to live in Kentucky and join the Amish church? Did she still have feelings for him, as she’d said, or was she just in need of a place to stay?
Do I still care for her? Titus asked himself. Could I have only thought I was falling in love with Suzanne because she looks similar to Phoebe?
If that were true, and he really didn’t love Suzanne, then he needed to know it now before he asked her to marry him.
I need wisdom in knowing what to do, Lord, Titus silently prayed. Things were going along fine until Phoebe showed up. I thought I had my future planned out, and I figured Suzanne would be a part of it. I’m not sure about anything right now. Please show me what I should do.
Titus tossed and turned for another hour until he finally made a decision. Tomorrow morning, before he went to the woodshop, he’d stop at the Yoders’ house and speak to Suzanne. He didn’t want her finding out about Phoebe from Esther or anyone else in her family. He needed to tell her himself.
When Phoebe awoke the following morning, she felt disoriented and out of place. With a feeling of panic, she sat up and glanced around the room. “Where am I?” she murmured. This was certainly not her apartment in California.
At the foot of the bed sat a cedar chest, with the pair of jeans she’d been wearing last night, draped over it. Across the room stood a dresser, desk, and a wooden chair. The only window in the room was covered with a dark green shade.
Her gaze came to rest on her suitcase, lying opened on the floor underneath the window. Suddenly, things came into focus.
Oh that’s right. I’m at the Beilers’ house. I’m staying in what used to be their oldest son’s bedroom.
Still stiff and a bit sore from sitting on the bus so many hours, Phoebe pulled the covers back, clambered out of bed, and reached around to rub the knot that had formed in her lower back. She shivered as she plodded across the cold wooden floor in her bare feet. It sure was chilly here in November. Nothing like the warm balmy weather in southern California.
She slipped into her blue jeans and T-shirt, ran a brush through her hair, and hurried down the stairs, following the welcoming aroma of freshly perked coffee coming from the kitchen.
“Good morning,” she said to Esther, who stood at the cupboard, cracking eggs into a bowl.
“Morning,” Esther mumbled in a voice barely above a whisper.
Esther’s mother, Dinah, turned from where she stood at the stove and smiled. “Good morning, Phoebe. Did you sleep well?”
Phoebe gave a nod. “I didn’t sleep much on the bus ride here, so a good night’s rest in a real bed was what I needed.”
Dinah motioned to Phoebe’s jeans. “If you’re going to church with us this morning, then you’ll need something else to wear. Esther can loan you one of her dresses, since you look to be about the same size.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Phoebe glanced over at Esther, but Esther ignored her and started stirring the eggs she’d cracked into the bowl.
“Esther,” Dinah said, “why don’t you take Phoebe upstairs and see what you have that might fit her while I finish breakfast?”
Esther nodded and set the bowl aside, but her pinched expression let Phoebe know she wasn’t too happy about it.
Phoebe followed her quickly out of the room.
“Why’d you really come here?” Esther asked when they entered her bedroom. “Was it to cause trouble for Titus?”
Phoebe shook her head. “Of course not. I came because I care about him.”
“I see.” Esther went to her closet and took out a plain, dark dress. “You can try this on and see if it fits.” She handed the dress to Phoebe and turned to stare out her bedroom window.
“Well, what do you think?” Phoebe asked after she’d put on the dress.
“It looks a little short, but I guess you can let the hem down a few inches.”
Phoebe stared down at the dress. “I don’t think it’s too short.”
“That’s probably because you’re used to seeing the dresses English women wear, which, of course, are much shorter than any of ours.”
Phoebe moved over to the dresser and picked up the hand mirror that had been lying there. “Guess I’d better pin up my hair and put a covering on. Have you got an extra one I can wear?”
Esther opened her top dresser drawer and pulled out a white organdy head covering that she handed to Phoebe. “You can wear this today.”
“After church is over, I’ll probably go home with Titus,” Phoebe said, “because we need to talk—to make some plans.”
Esther tipped her head. “What kind of plans?”
“Plans for our future
. He asked me to marry him once, and now I’m ready to say yes.”
Esther’s face blanched, and she blinked a couple of times. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m completely serious. I told Titus on the way over here last night that I want to stay in Kentucky and join the Amish church. Once I’m a member, we can be married.”
“You really think he’s going to marry you after you walked out on him?”
“He told you about that?”
Esther nodded. “It’s taken Titus a long time to get over you, and now that he has a serious girlfriend, do you think you can just show up here and expect him to welcome you back like nothing ever happened?”
Phoebe’s jaw dropped. “What did you say?”
“I said, do you think you can just—”
Phoebe held up her hand. “No, the part about Titus having a girlfriend.”
“Her name’s Suzanne, and she’s a good friend of mine.” Esther took a seat on the edge of her bed and folded her arms. “At first Titus and Suzanne didn’t get along so well. I think it was because she reminded him of you.”
“In what way?”
“She has the same color hair and eyes as you.”
“So what are you saying—that Titus hated me so much that he hated her?”
Esther shook her head. “Hate’s a very strong word, Phoebe. Titus is a good Christian, and I don’t think he has it in his heart to hate anyone. I think he was so crushed by what you’d done to him that seeing Suzanne, who resembles you in some ways, kept his wounds open for a time.”
Phoebe stood as though glued to the floor, not sure what to say. If Titus had a girlfriend, why hadn’t he told her so last night?
“There was a time when I thought Titus and I might become a couple,” Esther said. “We’d even gone a few places together, but we both realized that we didn’t have much in common.”
“Oh, I get it now. You want Titus for yourself, so you’re trying to make me think he’s in love with someone else.”
Esther shook her head vigorously. “That’s ridiculous. Titus and I are only friends, but Suzanne cares deeply for him, and I’m quite sure he feels the same way about her.”
“We’ll have to wait and see about that.” Phoebe whirled around and started for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“Downstairs. Your mom’s probably got breakfast ready by now, and I’m half starved!”
Suzanne squinted against the ray of light invading her room and groaned. Her head pounded, and her throat ached something awful. She hoped she wasn’t sick. Pushing the covers aside, she forced herself out of bed.
Shuffling across the room in her bare feet, she stopped in front of her dresser and looked in the mirror. “Oh no,” she gasped when she discovered several blistery spots on her face. She looked at her arms. More spots. “Not the wasserpareble!” she moaned.
She needed to let Mom know she was sick and wouldn’t be going to church today, so she slipped on her robe and made her way down the stairs. She found Mom in the kitchen, mixing a container of orange juice.
“I’m sick. I’ve come down with the chickenpox,” Suzanne said, touching one of the spots on her face.
Mom’s lips compressed as she slowly shook her head. “I’d hoped you were immune to them, but it looks like I was wrong. You’d better go back to your room and get into bed. I’ll get a tray and bring yours and Effie’s breakfast up to you soon.”
“I can’t afford to be sick right now,” Suzanne said with a moan. “With Christmas coming, we’ve been getting lots of orders in the woodshop, and my help is needed there.”
Mom patted Suzanne’s arm gently. “They got along before you started helping, and they’ll get along without your help until you’re feeling better. Wasserpareble is harder on adults than children, so you’ll need to get lots of rest, drink plenty of liquids, and whatever you do, no matter how much the pox might itch, don’t scratch them.”
A knock sounded on the back door. “Whoever that is, you’d better not let them in unless they’ve had chickenpox,” Suzanne said as she hurried up the stairs to her room.
Titus knocked on the door a second time. A few seconds later, Verna opened the door. “Titus, I’m surprised to see you here this morning. Shouldn’t you be at home, getting ready for church?”
“I got up early, hoping I could speak to Suzanne.”
“She’s upstairs in her room. Both she and Effie are sick with the wasserpareble, so unless you’ve had them, you’d better not come in.”
“Timothy and I both got ‘em when we were eight years old, and I’ve got a few scars where I scratched to prove it.” Titus leaned against the doorjamb and pulled in a deep breath, still trying to deal with the tension he’d felt ever since Phoebe had arrived. “If Suzanne’s feeling up to it, I really need to talk to her about something.”
“I’ll go upstairs and see.” Verna turned, leaving Titus alone on the porch. When she returned several minutes later, she shook her head and said, “Suzanne isn’t feeling up to company right now, and I think she’s also embarrassed about her spots.”
“She shouldn’t be embarrassed in front of me.”
“Maybe in a day or two she’ll feel well enough to visit with you. Would you like me to give her a message?”
“Uh—no. Guess it can wait until she’s feeling better.”
“You’re welcome to join us for breakfast.”
“I appreciate the invite, but I had a bowl of cereal before I left home.”
“All right then. I’ll see you at the Zooks’ for church.” Verna smiled and closed the door.
Titus headed for his horse, a heavy weight resting on his shoulders. He needed to tell Suzanne about Phoebe, but maybe it was best that he hadn’t been able to do that today. He also needed to speak to Phoebe again. They’d left too much unresolved last night.
CHAPTER 52
Paradise, Pennsylvania
How are you feeling these days?” Fannie asked Elsie Sunday afternoon as they sat in her living room with some other women after church. “Is your morning sickness any better?”
“A little,” Elsie replied, “but I’m awfully tired most of the time.” She rested her hands against her stomach. “Can’t remember feeling this way when I was carrying any of my other four.”
“It’s different with each one,” Naomi spoke up. “At least that’s how it’s been for me.”
Abby, who sat on the other side of Naomi, bobbed her head. “With Stella and Brenda, I had no morning sickness at all, but with Lamar, Derek, and Joseph, I sure did.”
Elsie smiled. “Guess all bopplin are different when we’re carrying them, just like after they’re born.”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
“Mind if I join you?” Arie asked when she entered the room.
“Not at all. Have a seat.” Fannie patted the sofa cushion next to her, and Arie sat down.
“How are things with you?” Fannie asked. “You look meid today.”
“I am tired.” Arie stifled a yawn. “I haven’t been sleeping well for some time, and after the message we discovered on our voice mail in the phone shanty last night, I hardly got any sleep at all.”
“Was it bad news?” Abby asked before Fannie could form the question.
“I’m not sure.” Arie placed her hands in her lap and clenched her fingers together. “The message was from a young woman named Charlene, who said she was a coworker of Phoebe’s. Apparently, Phoebe recently borrowed some money from this woman, and now something’s come up and Charlene needs Phoebe to pay her back.”
“Is she expecting you to pay the money Phoebe owes?” Fannie asked.
Arie shook her head. “I don’t think so. She thought Phoebe would be here and asked that she call her right away.”
“But Phoebe’s in California, isn’t she?” Elsie questioned.
“That’s what we thought, but since Phoebe moved to California, she hasn’t kept in good touch with us.” Arie’s chin quivered, a
nd she blinked, as if trying to hold back her tears. “I phoned Charlene back, and when I told her that we hadn’t heard anything from Phoebe in several months, she said Phoebe had told her that she needed some money for a bus ticket to Kentucky so she could see a friend.”
Fannie sucked in her breath. “Titus?”
Arie gave a nod. “I would assume so.”
[Kentucky Brothers 01] - The Journey Page 31
