[Kentucky Brothers 01] - The Journey

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Fannie’s heart began to pound. If Phoebe went to Kentucky and contacted Titus, they might end up together again. Titus was just beginning to make a new life for himself, and if Phoebe influenced him as she had in the past, he might lose his way.

  “Charlene said she figured Phoebe would return to Pennsylvania after visiting with her friend in Kentucky.” Arie looked over at Fannie, as though struck with a new realization. “Has Titus called you lately? Has he said anything about Phoebe?”

  Fannie, trying not to let on about the concerns she felt, shrugged and said, “The last time I spoke to Titus, he made no mention of Phoebe.”

  “Maybe he didn’t know she was coming,” Naomi interjected. “Maybe Phoebe decided to go there and surprise him.”

  A knot formed in Fannie’s stomach. Could Phoebe be in Kentucky right now? If so, how would it affect Titus’s future?

  Pembroke, Kentucky

  Phoebe didn’t know how she’d managed to sit through the three-hour church service that had been held in the buggy shed of a family named Zook. It wasn’t the backless wooden benches or even the length of the service that bothered her, though, for she’d become used to that from growing up in an Amish family. What bothered Phoebe the most were the curious stares in her direction. She’d been introduced to a few people before the service began, but most of the others probably wondered who she was, and maybe why the dress she wore was a few inches shorter than those of all the other women who were present.

  When the service was over and lunch had been served, Phoebe wandered around, looking for Titus. She was pleased when she spotted him over by the barn, talking to a young man who looked to be about his age. She waited until there was a lull in the men’s conversation; then she asked if she could speak to Titus alone.

  He started walking toward the area where all the buggies were parked, and then turned to face her. “What’s up?”

  She glanced around to make sure no one could hear their conversation. “Esther told me that you have a girlfriend. Is it true?”

  He nodded.

  “How come you made no mention of it last night?”

  “I tried to a couple of times, but you kept interrupting me.”

  “Is she here today?”

  He shook his head. “She’s at home, sick with the chickenpox.”

  “Esther said your girlfriend looks like me. Is that also true?”

  “She has auburn hair and blue eyes.”

  Phoebe tapped her foot and gave a slow nod. “Hmm. That’s interesting.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You must still have feelings for me if you picked someone to court who looks like me.”

  A splash of color erupted on Titus’s clean-shaven cheeks. “I didn’t care for Suzanne at first because she reminded me of you. Every time I looked at her, I thought of you, and how much you’d hurt me.”

  “And now?”

  “Now it’s different. I’ve gotten to know Suzanne and have discovered that she and I have a lot in common.”

  “Are you planning to marry her?”

  “I don’t know; maybe.” He sighed. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

  Phoebe’s hand trembled as she placed it on Titus’s arm. “What about me? Won’t you give me another chance?”

  He shrugged and dropped his gaze to the ground.

  She stepped in front of him and looked up so he’d have to see her face. “I told you last night I want to join the Amish church and live here with you. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  A muscle on the side of his neck quivered. “I thought I knew what I wanted and was sure I had my future planned out. Now that you’re here I’m so verhuddelt.”

  “Spend some time with me, and I promise you won’t be confused anymore. Give me a chance to prove myself, and you’ll see that you feel the same way about me as you did before.”

  “Oh, you mean before you left for California and broke my heart?” His tone was clipped, and she could see the hurt on his face.

  “Jah, before I left for California.” She took a step closer. “Before our folks made so many rules that finally came between us.”

  Titus swallowed hard and wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. Being this close to Phoebe, hearing her promising words, made him feel more confused than ever. If only she hadn’t run off to California. If she’d just settled down and joined the church while they were both living in Pennsylvania, they’d be married by now—maybe even starting a family. Was it too late for them? And what about Suzanne? Were his feelings for her real, or had he only imagined them, transferring what he’d felt for Phoebe to Suzanne?

  “Have you met many people here today?” he asked, feeling the need to change the subject.

  Phoebe shook her head. “Just a few. Esther and her mother introduced me to a couple of women before church, and then I met a few more after the noon meal. One of them was Verna Yoder. Is she related to the woman you’ve been courting?”

  Titus’s heart raced like a herd of stampeding horses. If Esther and Dinah had introduced Verna to Phoebe, did Verna know Phoebe was his ex-girlfriend from Pennsylvania? If she did, then she’d no doubt tell Suzanne. He couldn’t let that happen. He had to make sure he told her himself.

  “I’ve got to get my horse,” Titus said, moving away from Phoebe.

  “You’re leaving already?”

  “Jah. There’s someplace I need to go.”

  “Where?”

  “I need to speak to Suzanne.” Titus hurried off before Phoebe could respond.

  When Titus arrived at the Yoders’ he stood on the porch and prayed for wisdom to know the right words before he knocked on the door.

  Isaac opened the door. “Ah, Titus, it’s good to see you. You must have taken a detour on your way home from church today.”

  Titus nodded. “I came to see Suzanne. Is she feeling any better?”

  Isaac shook his head. “Not much. Still feverish and dealing with a sore throat. Both she and Effie are covered with spots.”

  “Since Verna was at church today, I guess you stayed home to look after your granddaughters?”

  Isaac grinned. “That’s right. Can’t do as much as I want to these days, but I’m still able to check on them and see that they get plenty of water and calamine lotion.”

  Titus smiled, although he had to force it, for the butterflies in his stomach made him feel nauseous. “I really need to speak to Suzanne.”

  “I’ll go see if she’s willing.” Isaac turned away, leaving Titus on the porch. He returned several minutes later. “She’s sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb her.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “Is there a message I can give Suzanne when she wakes up?” Isaac asked.

  Titus slid the toe of his boot across the wooden boards on the porch, as he struggled with what to do. Finally, in desperation, he whispered, “I need Suzanne to know that my ex-girlfriend from Pennsylvania is here.”

  “What’s that?” Isaac cupped his hand around his ear. “With you whispering like that I couldn’t make out what you said.”

  Titus motioned for Isaac to step onto the porch. He didn’t want to risk waking Suzanne and having her overhear what he’d said. He really wished he could say this to her face so he could explain things to her.

  Isaac grabbed his jacket from a wall peg near the door and stepped onto the porch. Then he took a seat in one of the wicker chairs, and Titus seated himself in the chair beside him.

  “Now what’s this you want to tell Suzanne?” Isaac asked.

  Titus repeated what he’d said before about Phoebe showing up, and was just about to say that she’d taken him by surprise, when his horse whinnied loudly.

  Titus looked at the hitching rail, and was shocked to see Phoebe climb down from his buggy.

  “What in the world?” He leaped off the porch and raced across the yard. “What’s going on?” he shouted at Phoebe. “What were you doing in my buggy, and how come I didn’t know you were there?” />
  Phoebe’s chin trembled as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “When you said you were going to see your girlfriend, I decided I’d better come, too. Since I knew you’d never agree to that, when you went to get your horse, I hid in the back of your buggy.”

  Irritation welled in Titus, and his hands shook as he held his arms tightly against his sides. “You had no right to do that, Phoebe! What were you thinking?”

  Phoebe’s tears trickled onto her cheeks, and she started to sob. “Pl-please don’t yell. It—it upsets me when you yell.”

  Titus felt remorse. He’d always been putty in Phoebe’s hands whenever she’d turned on the tears. He put his hand on her back and patted it gently. “I’m sorry for yelling, but you had no right to come here uninvited. I needed to speak to Suzanne alone and explain about you being here before she hears it from someone else.”

  Phoebe sniffed and swiped at her tears. “I thought we could do that together. I thought if Suzanne met me and saw how much you and I care for each other, she’d understand.”

  Titus stood there, too numb to say a word. Apparently nothing he’d said to Phoebe so far had sunk in. “I’m not sure if I care about you anymore,” he said firmly. “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure about anything right now.”

  Roused from her sleep by loud voices, Suzanne forced herself out of bed. Was someone in the yard hollering, or had she been dreaming?

  She padded across the room, lifted the shade at her window, and looked down. Her breath caught in her throat, and she grabbed the windowsill for support. Titus stood beside his buggy, and a young woman was next to him—a woman Suzanne didn’t recognize but who looked familiar.

  Despite the weakness she felt, Suzanne forced herself to get dressed and make her way downstairs. When she peered out the kitchen window, she could see the woman’s face. Oh my … she looks a lot like me.

  Suzanne went to the utility room and slipped into a jacket; then she stepped outside. She barely took notice of Grandpa, who stood on the porch, slowly shaking his head. All Suzanne could think about was getting to Titus’s buggy and finding out who the woman beside him was.

  “Wh-what’s going on here?” Suzanne asked when she stepped up to Titus.

  His cheeks turned red, and he looked at Suzanne with a kind of desperation. “Uh, Suzanne, this is Phoebe Stoltzfus. She arrived from California last night.”

  Phoebe nodded. “That’s right. I spent the night at your friend Esther’s.”

  Suzanne’s vision blurred, and she swayed unsteadily. Then everything faded, and she toppled to the ground.

  CHAPTER 53

  Titus stood with Isaac, staring down at Suzanne as she reclined on the living room sofa. After she’d fainted, Titus had carried her into the house; then Isaac had put a cold washcloth on her forehead and patted her cheeks. She’d come to fairly quickly but hadn’t said a word to either of them since she’d regained consciousness.

  “Are you okay?” Titus asked, taking a seat on one end of the sofa near Suzanne’s feet. “It gave us a scare when you fainted like that.”

  “I’m fine,” she mumbled.

  “Here, drink some of this.” Isaac offered Suzanne some water.

  She reached for the glass, sat up, and took a sip.

  “Would someone bring me some more ginger ale?” a young voice called from upstairs. Titus realized it was Effie.

  “Jah, sure. I’ll be right up.” Isaac excused himself and left the room.

  Titus was on the verge of saying something to Suzanne, when she spoke.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that Phoebe was coming to see you?”

  “I didn’t know. She just showed up unexpectedly.”

  “How’d she know where you live?”

  “She got my address from a letter I’d written her.”

  Tears welled in Suzanne’s eyes, and she blinked several times, as though trying to keep them from spilling over. “I didn’t realize you’d been writing to her all this time. If I’d known I never would have—”

  “I haven’t stayed in touch with Phoebe,” Titus interrupted, his frustration mounting. “It was just one letter, to let her know that—”

  “To let her know that you’re still in love with her and want her back?”

  Titus shook his head determinedly. “No, no. It wasn’t like that. I wrote Phoebe to say I’d forgiven her for what she’d done and that I wanted her to know I wished her God’s best.”

  “But you must have given her some encouragement or she wouldn’t have come to Kentucky.”

  He shook his head again. “I didn’t offer any encouragement, and I never mentioned the idea of her coming here.”

  Suzanne lifted both hands in the air. “Well, she must have gotten the idea from somewhere. In all the time you’ve been living here, she never came to see you before, so why now?”

  Titus ground his teeth together. This wasn’t going well. “I just told you, when Phoebe got my letter, she decided to come.”

  “Do you still love her?”

  Suzanne’s direct question and her furrowed brows made Titus begin to sweat. “No. I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “I figured as much.” Suzanne looked away. “She’s waiting outside for you, so you’d better go.”

  “Please look at me, Suzanne.” Titus reached over and touched her chin, turning her head to face him. “I’m worried about you. You fainted when you found out who Phoebe was, and I know you were very upset.”

  “I fainted because I’m weak and sick from the wasserpareble.”

  “Maybe that was part of it, but I think the shock of seeing Phoebe was too much for you.”

  She dropped her gaze and stared at the glass, clasped firmly in her hands.

  Titus shifted on the sofa, feeling the tension between them. Tension that hadn’t been there until Phoebe came on the scene and interrupted his life. “I’d like to stay so we can talk about this some more.”

  “What’s there to talk about? You’re not sure whether you’re still in love with Phoebe, which means you’re obviously not sure about us. Until you are sure, I don’t think there’s anything left to say.” Tears slipped out of Suzanne’s eyes and splashed onto her pale cheeks.

  Titus wanted to hold Suzanne and reassure her that nothing had changed between them, but she was obviously too upset to talk about this, and right now, he was too confused. He sat for a moment, then rose from his seat and headed across the room. He was almost to the door when he turned and said, “I need some time to think and pray about this. When things become clear, and I come here to talk to you again, I hope you’ll listen.”

  She didn’t look at him and gave no reply.

  Titus whirled around and went out the door. He hoped he would find the answers he sought before it was too late.

  Paradise, Pennsylvania

  As Fannie and Abraham sat in their living room that evening, drinking hot cider, Fannie told him about the news Arie had shared.

  “I wonder if Phoebe really did go to Kentucky,” she said. “And if so, has she found Titus by now?”

  Abraham set his mug down and drew his fingers through the end of his beard. “Guess we won’t know that until we hear something from him. I’m sure if she showed up, he’d tell us. Don’t you agree?”

  “I don’t know. He knows we never approved of Phoebe, so if they are back together, he might try to hide it as long as he can.”

  “It won’t do any good to worry about it tonight,” Abraham said. “We’ll just have to wait until we hear from Titus.”

  “I’m not going to wait on Titus.” Fannie pursed her lips. “Tomorrow morning, I’m going out to the phone shanty and call him. When his voice mail picks up, I’ll leave a message and set a time for tomorrow evening that he can call when I’ll be waiting in the shanty by the phone.”

  “Do whatever you want, but if you say too much on the subject of Phoebe, you could push Titus away.” Abraham drank the remainder of his cider, set his empty mug on the table beside his chair, and st
ood. “I’m tired. Think I’ll go to bed. Are you coming, Fannie?”

  “In a bit. I want to sit here by the fire awhile.”

  When Abraham left the room, Fannie picked up her Bible, which had been lying on the coffee table. She turned to a place she’d marked with a ribbon and read James 1:5, which she’d underlined some time ago: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”