“Wait a minute! Where are you going?”
Titus said nothing but climbed on Lightning’s back and rode away.
“How are you feeling today?” Mom asked when Suzanne entered the kitchen.
“A little better.” Suzanne went to the cupboard and removed a glass. “But I’d feel even better if I’d hear something from Titus.”
“He was in the woodshop every day this week. You could have gone out and talked to him.”
Suzanne filled her glass with water and took a drink. “I thought about that, and I could have asked Nelson or Grandpa if Titus had said anything to them about me or Phoebe, but I decided against it. Whatever Titus decides, it’ll be better if I hear it from him when he’s ready.”
Mom moved away from the stove and put her arm around Suzanne. “If you and Titus are meant to be together, things will work out. If he chooses Phoebe, then he wasn’t the man God wanted for you.”
Suzanne blinked against tears threatening to spill over. “If he chooses her and they stay here in Kentucky, I don’t think I could bear it. Every time I’d see them together, my heart would break in two.”
“I know it’ll be hard, but God will give you the strength to deal with things if it happens that way.” Mom smiled. “In Isaiah 66:13 it says that God comforts us like a mother comforts her children.”
Suzanne didn’t respond. Instead she started setting the table. If Titus ended up marrying Phoebe, she’d accept it as God’s will, but she wouldn’t stay here. She’d have to find someplace else to live.
CHAPTER 55
After Titus left, Phoebe stormed into the house, dropped to the sofa, and covered her face with her hands. She couldn’t believe he had turned her away. When they’d been courting, he’d promised that he’d always love her, but apparently he’d lied. If she couldn’t make him see that she’d be better for him than Suzanne, then she had come here for nothing. She’d have been better off in California, living on the street.
Hot tears rolled down Phoebe’s cheeks. It was hard not to feel sorry for herself when her whole life was messed up and nothing had turned out the way she’d hoped. Why was it that things went so well for some people, and for others, nothing seemed to work out?
The back door opened and banged shut. Phoebe pulled her hands away from her face and quickly dried her tears on the front of her apron.
“What’s wrong, Phoebe?” Esther asked, as she entered the room. “Have you been crying?”
Phoebe nodded slowly and nearly gulped on the sob rising in her throat. “Titus came by this morning. I … I told him that I love him, but he said he doesn’t love me anymore. He thinks he belongs with Suzanne.” She sniffed deeply and reached for a tissue from the box on the table beside the sofa. “I can’t believe he’d choose her over me. I’ve known him a lot longer than she has, and the whole time he and I were courting, he kept saying he wanted to marry me and would never love anyone else.”
Esther sat down beside Phoebe and reached out to touch her trembling shoulder. “I don’t think you really love him. I think you’ve been using him because you need a place to belong, and he’s the person you thought you could turn to in your hour of need.”
Phoebe sat with her head down and shoulders slumped. She knew Esther was right but couldn’t admit it, not even to herself.
“You need to get your life straight, and in order to do that, you have to give your heart fully to the Lord,” Esther said.
“I told Titus that I’d join the Amish church. Isn’t that good enough?”
“No, it’s not. Being Amish is our way of life, but joining the church is giving your heart to the Lord. You must see yourself as a sinner who needs to be saved, and then joining the church will be your confession of faith.” Esther reached for the Bible lying on the table beside the box of tissues. She opened it and said to Phoebe, “Romans 3:23 reads, ‘For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.’ “
Phoebe’s tears spilled over onto her dress. “I … I know I’ve done many wrong things in my life, and I wouldn’t blame God if He didn’t forgive me.”
“But you can find forgiveness,” Esther said, gently patting Phoebe’s back. “In 1 John 1:9 it tells us, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ “
“I’ve heard that verse before when I’ve gone to church with my family. I just never took it to heart.” Phoebe gulped on another sob. “I … I want to seek forgiveness and turn my life over to Christ right now.”
Eager to speak to Suzanne, Titus got Lightning moving at a fast trot. He’d already wasted enough time trying to reason with Phoebe when he should have been at the Yoders’, opening his heart to Suzanne. If only, from the beginning, he hadn’t been taken in by Phoebe’s beguiling ways.
But then, if I hadn’t courted Phoebe, and she hadn’t run off to California, I wouldn’t have come to Kentucky or met Suzanne, he reasoned.
Titus urged Lightning on until the Yoders’ house came into view. Then, guiding the horse up the driveway, he stopped in front of the hitching rail. He’d just stepped down from the saddle when Nelson came out of the woodshop and motioned for him to come inside.
Titus secured Lightning and headed up the driveway.
“Are you working here today?” he asked when he entered the shop and found Nelson sitting at his grandfather’s desk.
“Jah. I don’t normally work on Saturdays, but since Grandpa went shopping with Mom today, I thought I’d take a look at the books and see how we’re doing, and then maybe do some sanding on those.” He motioned to a set of cupboard doors leaning against the far wall.
“If you needed my help, I could have come to work today.” Titus leaned on one end of the desk.
“That’s okay. With all you’ve had on your mind this week, I figured you needed the day off.”
“You’re right about that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying all week.”
“Have you reached a decision?”
Titus nodded. He’d shared his frustration and confusion about Phoebe with both Nelson and Isaac this week and knew they’d been praying for him. “I’d like to tell you what I’ve decided, but I think it’s only fair that I discuss it with Suzanne first.”
“That makes good sense.” Nelson pointed to the ledger. “Don’t mean to change the subject, but we have a lot of orders stacking up. I hope we can get them all done before Christmas.”
“I think between you, me, and Suzanne working here in the shop we’ll be able to get everything done.”
Nelson scratched his head. “I’m afraid I haven’t been fair to my sister. I’ve come to realize that she’s happy working with wood, and I apologized to her last night. Said I shouldn’t have been so narrow-minded about her wanting to do a job I’d thought was only for a man.”
“I’ll bet she was pleased to hear you say that.”
“Jah. Even gave me a hug.”
Titus smiled.
“So what’d you come here for?” Nelson asked. “Was it to speak to Suzanne?”
Titus nodded.
“She’s up at the house, so go right ahead. She might be resting on the sofa, but you can go in.”
“I will. See you later, Nelson.” Titus hurried out the door.
He’d only made it halfway to the house when Suzanne’s little sister, Effie, came running out of the barn. “Kumme! Schnell!” she hollered, waving her hands. “Something’s wrong with Fluffy!”
Titus knew Fluffy was one of Suzanne’s favorite cats, so he took off on a run behind Effie. When he entered the barn, he followed her to the stack of hay on the far side of the room. “Where’s Fluffy?” he asked.
Effie pointed a trembling finger toward the first stack of hay. “She’s behind there.”
Titus hurried across the room and peered behind the bales of hay. What he saw made him cringe. Poor Fluffy had managed to get herself tangled in a piece of baling twine that had apparently come loose from the hay. The tw
ine was wrapped around the cat’s body so tightly that all she could do was roll pathetically from side to side.
There would have been a day when Titus would have hesitated to pick up the cat for fear of getting scratched, but he didn’t think twice about helping Fluffy now.
He scooped the cat into his arms and took a seat on a bale of hay. Then he proceeded to untangle the twine, being careful not to frighten the poor critter any more than she was.
“Don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt my sister’s katz.” Effie stood beside him, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open.
“I won’t hurt the cat. I’m only trying to help her.” Titus grimaced. “If Fluffy would hold still, it would make things a lot easier.”
“I’ll pet her head and talk softly to her,” Effie said. “Maybe that’ll calm her down.”
Titus nodded. “That’s a good idea. Keep petting her until I get the twine off.”
It took some time to accomplish the task, but Titus kept at it until he’d untangled the mess and Fluffy was free. “Here you go,” he said, handing the cat to Effie. “That was quite an ordeal, so maybe you ought to get her some water and see if she wants to drink.”
Effie said thank you, and holding the cat to her chest, she skipped to the other side of the barn.
Titus rolled the piece of twine into a ball and put it up on a shelf so none of the other cats would end up in a mess like Fluffy had been.
Eager to get to the house and speak with Suzanne, Titus rushed out of the barn. He’d only taken a few steps, when a horse and buggy pulled into the yard. He waited to see who was driving, and was shocked when Phoebe climbed down and secured the horse to the hitching rail next to Lightning.
“Not this again,” he mumbled. “What are you doing here, Phoebe?”
“I needed to talk to you, and since I figured you were going to see Suzanne, I borrowed one of the Beilers’ horses and buggies and came here.”
“I thought I’d made clear the way I feel when I talked to you earlier.”
“You did, but I need to tell you what happened after you left.”
Titus crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. “What happened?”
“After talking to Esther awhile and listening to her quote some verses of scripture, I realized what a terrible person I’ve been, and I—I gave my heart to the Lord.” She smiled. “From now on, I want to start living for Him.”
“Are you saying that to impress me, in the hope that I’ll reconsider and take you back, or is this for real?”
“I’m not trying to impress you or get you back. I really did confess my sins and ask the Lord to take control of my life.”
“If that’s true, then I’m glad for you, but it doesn’t change anything between us, Phoebe.”
“I understand that, and I didn’t come to stir up trouble. I came to say that I’m sorry for everything I’ve said or done to hurt you. No matter how bad things were for me in California, I shouldn’t have come to Kentucky uninvited.” She paused and flicked her tongue over her lips. “But I’m really glad I did, for if I hadn’t come here, I might never have found a personal relationship with the Lord.” She stepped toward him and smiled. It seemed like a genuine smile. “I know what I need to do now.”
“What’s that?”
“I need to go home and make things right with Mom and Dad. So if your offer to give me money for a bus ticket is still open, then I’ll gladly accept it with much appreciation.”
Titus could hardly believe Phoebe had found the Lord, but her attitude did seem to have changed, and he was more than happy to give her the money she needed in order to go home. He reached into his pocket and handed her several bills. “I wish you all the best.”
“I wish the best for you, too.” Phoebe slipped her arms around his waist and gave him a hug. “Thanks for the money. I appreciate it a lot.”
Hearing voices outside, Suzanne went to the living room window and peered out. She gasped, shocked by what she saw. Titus and Phoebe stood in the front yard, hugging each other!
“Guess that’s all I need to know,” Suzanne muttered as she turned away from the window with a heavy heart. Titus and Phoebe were obviously back together. But did he have to hug her right here on their property where Suzanne could see? Was he deliberately trying to hurt her?
Tears coursed down Suzanne’s cheeks, and she did nothing to wipe them away. I was a fool for letting myself fall in love with Titus. He only pretended to like me because I reminded him of her.
She’d just taken a seat on the sofa, when she heard the back door open. A few seconds later, Titus entered the room.
Suzanne leaped off the sofa and rushed toward the stairs, unwilling to hear what she was sure he was going to tell her.
“Where are you going?” he called.
“Upstairs to my room.”
“Please, don’t go. We need to talk. I want to tell you what I’ve decided about Phoebe.”
she whirled around to face him. “I already know what you’ve decided. I saw the two of you outside, hugging.”
“It’s not what it seems.” He moved toward her, and she took a step back.
“How is it then?
“Phoebe came over because she figured I’d be here talking to you—telling you what I’d decided.”
“That you love her?”
“No, it’s not that at all.” Titus motioned to the sofa. “Let’s sit down so I can explain things.”
Suzanne seated herself on one end, and he sat beside her. “Phoebe came over here to tell me that she’s confessed her sins and has found a personal relationship with the Lord,” he said, looking at her intently.
“Did she think that would make you see her in a different light and take her back?”
“No, she wanted to apologize for all the things she’s done to hurt me, and when she said she wanted to go home to Pennsylvania, I offered to give her the money for a bus ticket. She was grateful and hugged me, that’s all.”
“I’ see.”
Titus took hold of Suzanne’s hand and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “I’ve spent this past week thinking, praying, reading my Bible, and seeking God’s will for my life.” He smiled at her in such a sweet way that her heart nearly melted. “It’s you I love, Suzanne, and if you’re willing, I’d like you to marry me sometime next year.”
Suzanne blinked. “Are you sure about this? You’re not just saying it because you feel sorry for me?”
He shook his head. “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. I was verhuddelt when Phoebe first showed up at my place, but my head’s clear now, and I realize that the love I thought I’d felt for Phoebe was nothing more than infatuation. I think I only wanted her because she was a challenge and her rebellious spirit excited me. Now that I’ve matured and am walking closer to the Lord, I want a woman I can trust—someone who thinks of others, not just herself.”
“Do you think I’m that woman?” she dared to ask.
“I know you are.” Titus leaned toward her and lowered his head so their lips were almost touching. “Is it all right if I kiss you, Suzanne?”
She nodded. He pulled her close and gently kissed her lips. When their lips parted, he whispered, “I’m so thankful God brought me to Kentucky, and even more thankful He brought you into my life.” Then he kissed her again.
That evening, as Phoebe stepped onto the bus, she thought about the things she’d learned during her brief stay in Kentucky. She realized what a selfish person she’d been and realized she needed time to grow and learn how to live her life for the Lord instead of herself. She also needed to seek God’s will about His choice for a husband for her. As Esther’s mother had said to her before she’d gotten on the bus, “Fulfillment doesn’t come from marrying someone, but in a relationship with the Lord.”
Phoebe took a seat and closed her eyes. Help me, Lord, to remember all that I’ve learned, and when I see Mom and Dad, I pray that they won’t criticize or lecture me for leaving, but will welcome me home inst
ead.
When Titus returned home, after spending the evening at Suzanne’s, he went out to the phone shanty to call his folks and leave a message, letting them know that Phoebe was on her way home, and that he and Suzanne were together as a couple.
He was about to make the call when he decided to check his messages first. He discovered one from Mom.
“Something horrible has happened, and we need you to come home right away. Elsie was carrying a basket of dirty laundry down the basement stairs, and she tripped over something and fell.” There was a pause, and then Mom started crying. “When Elsie hit the bottom of the stairs, she broke her neck.” Another pause. “She’s dead, Titus. Elsie and the boppli she was carrying are both dead. The funeral will be in three days, and we hope you’ll be there.”
[Kentucky Brothers 01] - The Journey Page 34
