I stepped away from Ryker, putting a few feet of buffer in between us, and turned to Knife. “I appreciate your offer, but this doesn’t need to be worked out this second. There’s no reason to make a choice when other options might come to light. I’ve still got almost three months left.”
Knife nodded, taking the answer in stride with a shrug. “You know I’m the better choice for you, Bugs.”
Ryker’s lower jaw was back to clenched. “There is no choice. She made a magical challenge and lost. Her forfeiture was to stay here. She’s stuck.”
“You said you’d try to get that undone,” I said.
“I might know someone who can undo it,” Knife added.
“Sure you do,” Ryker scoffed.
No one spoke. No one moved. The magic had gone back to steam levels, and it seemed like it was going to grow, if the standoff was any indication.
Ruck slapped his hand on his forehead again, this time making a grand gesture of it. “Oh shit, I forgot I told Mary Jane we were going to stop by.”
He slung an arm around my shoulders. I watched a rainbow of emotions play out in the room, from cool blues to red hot, as I let Ruck save me and take the fall for an awkward exit.
We walked like we were expecting Bones himself to grab our collars and drag us back through the door. We didn’t run, though. That would’ve been way too obvious.
15
I was stretching my legs. A person was allowed to walk. A lot of people were doing the exact same thing, since the double full moon made it more like dusk than night. Was I supposed to stay inside in case Ryker was out and about as well? And there was less congestion in this part of the Valley. It had nothing at all to do with him or where he lived. I could walk where I wanted, even if it was right by his place.
Ryker was standing outside his door, talking to some girl I’d seen arrive with Knife’s group. The way the woman was smiling, it wasn’t a business meeting. I leaned a shoulder on a nearby building, keeping most of my body behind a nice, fat bush. Not on purpose. It happened to be where I wanted to take a break.
The moonlight hitting her skin gave her an ethereal quality that she didn’t have the first time I’d seen her. I hope Ryker noticed that as well and wasn’t duped into thinking she was prettier than she was.
His back was to me as she stared and listened to him. She threw her head back, laughing and flipping long black hair. He was probably saying something dripping with arrogance and tinged with humor. She was dumb enough to giggle. Even when I thought he was funny, I didn’t giggle. Although most of his jokes were at my expense. He called it teasing. I called it being an asshole.
There she went, laughing again. I could see the air practically flowing in and out of her ears with each exhale. She looked utterly vapid. If they went inside his place, I was going to have to rethink my alliances. I couldn’t work with a man who had such low standards, let alone tie my magic to his.
Knife’s magic tingled up my spine, and I shoved off the wall before he could get a peek at what I’d been watching. The last thing I needed was for people to think I was obsessed with Ryker when I was perfectly fine having a business-only relationship. I turned to walk in the opposite direction. He stood there, staring at me, plain as day.
I gave him a nod and continued to walk. If he was here to get answers from me about his offer to merge magic, I wasn’t ready to give them. Considering he wasn’t doing it to save my ass, but to gain some power, I didn’t feel overly indebted to him for the grand gesture of selfishness.
He followed. “Staring from afar isn’t the way to get him,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking as if he were getting comfortable for a nice, long chat.
He was guessing at what I’d been staring at, but he couldn’t know. Still, it felt like someone directed all the sun’s rays right at my face and then notched them up a thousand degrees, and it wasn’t even daytime.
“Get him? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t want to get anyone.”
“You mean you weren’t spying on him from behind a bush?”
“No. The cackling caught my ear and I wanted to make sure a rabid animal hadn’t broken in to town.”
I didn’t have to see his face. I could hear his eyes grinding in their sockets as they rolled around.
“Kid, you don’t only have your heart on your sleeve, you plucked it out of your chest and dropped kicked it to his feet. Right now it’s getting squashed into the mud by the women trampling over it to get to him. It’s no wonder you’re looking so pathetic.”
I resisted the urge to crawl under a rock and made a show of tapping my finger to my chin. “Wait, weren’t you there when I turned down his offer of being linked? I could’ve sworn you were in the room.”
He laughed. Loudly. “I’m not saying you don’t have pride. I would’ve turned him down too. First, he clearly thought you’d jump to do his bidding as soon as he offered. Second, he didn’t offer until he realized you might take me up on mine. You made the right choice. That’s not up for debate. But neither is the fact that you have it for him, and bad. I was there when you nearly melted into him because he touched your markings.”
Figured Knife would’ve noticed that.
“Was there something you wanted, other than this conversation we aren’t going to have? If there is, please get to it.” I picked up my pace, and his longer legs matched it easily. How ridiculous would I look if I broke into a run? Did I care?
He held up his hands. “Hey, I’m trying to help you, is all.”
“I don’t think you help anyone but yourself.”
He smiled a little too widely, as if he’d received a compliment. “Not completely true. I make the occasional exception if the situation is interesting enough.”
“Again, did you have something else you wanted to discuss?” I stopped walking, hoping to end the conversation. The idea of talking about this all the way back to my room was as appetizing as chewing on the Cave Dweller’s other eyeball.
He stopped as well. “He knew you were watching him back there.”
My jaw dropped, and I snapped it shut. “No, he didn’t.”
“He definitely did. I would’ve.” He watched me, letting that little tidbit sink in like a splinter under a nail. “We’re older and more in control of our magic. We’ve got a larger radius. He knew you were watching him, and he was screwing with you because you turned him down.”
My lips parted but nothing came out as the other ramifications unfolded in my head. How much had Ryker sensed? Had he felt my irritation?
“And yes, he knew he was getting to you, too.” Knife nodded, adding a little shrug that shoved that splinter a bit farther in.
I turned and walked. Knife walked beside me, like a sticker bush I couldn’t escape.
“Sitting around and waiting for him to want you isn’t the way to handle this.”
“I’m not waiting. I’m stuck,” I said, but my words had gone from having the gusto of a hurricane to a toddler with a slight cough.
“There might be a way to undo that. Strange that you haven’t bothered to ask me how or broach the subject first. I’d think that you would’ve sought me out as soon as you’d heard me utter the possibility.”
I’d thought he was bluffing. Why bother asking someone you didn’t trust? It wasn’t worth discussing now either, so I continued on in silence.
“You know, there are other men that would be interested in you. You’ve got a lot to offer.”
“That’s right. I’ve got a lot to use.” This was all calculation and maneuvering. I might be reeling in humiliation, but it hadn’t emptied out my head and stolen all common sense. Did he think if he threw a little mud on Ryker I’d jump at his offer?
“How old are you? Haven’t you figured it out yet? Everybody uses everybody; it’s the way the world works. You’re not one of these cupcakes. You didn’t grow up here. You know better.” His voice finally lost that blasé tone I’d wanted to shake from him. At least I was f
inally talking to the real Knife and not the too-cool-to-touch version he liked to spread wide and far. I’d seen the grit hinting under his casual surface. I’d preferred it. At least it was really him.
“That’s not the world I want to live in.”
“The world you want doesn’t exist and never will. Those ideals didn’t fill your bellies during the cold, long winter. The food you stole in the real world did. You’re a survivor, Bugs. Don’t go changing and getting stupid because you’ve got a crush. That’s not how people make it. And definitely not Wyrd Blood. We don’t have the luxury of being invisible like a dull. Although, for the love of magic, I don’t know why anyone would want to live that life. You’re special. Embrace it. Rise up and use it. Stop being a doormat.”
He walked off, leaving me with those words. As harsh as they were, he did me a favor. It had taken a while for it to set in, but it finally was, and deeply. Ryker would do anything to protect me, but it was only because I could break wards. It was never really about me, only what I could do for him. That was the real world.
I could keep kidding myself that I didn’t really want him either, but I did, or at least some part of me did. Why, I wouldn’t delve into, but I was going to have to kill that part off and quick. When I did finally end up with someone, it wasn’t going to be for my magic.
16
A brown leather-bound book sat on my bed when I got back from breakfast. It had too many pages to be like the books I normally read. I flipped it open and was proven correct when I saw all the small—but very long words—filling the pages. I flipped through it quickly and could only find a handful of pictures that were small and sketched. I closed it again to look at the front.
The author’s name was so long that I didn’t bother trying. The title looked a little more manageable.
“Ma-G-Al? T-E-Y.” Oh. “Magical Theory.”
Burn must’ve left this. It was the book he’d spoken of. How the hell was I supposed to read this? I was barely reading “dog” and “cat.” Was he crazy?
I flipped through again, looking for bookmarks. You’d think he’d at least indicate the good stuff, but there wasn’t a dog-eared page or a leaf anywhere.
I tossed it on the bed for later, when I had a few hours to sound out a page or two, and headed out.
The path was only a few feet away when a messenger ran over to me. She was all limbs and lanky, as if she’d gotten hit with a growth spurt recently but her appetite hadn’t kept up. She stopped beside me and bent forward as she sucked in air.
“Ryker says”—she dragged in a couple more breaths—“to go to his place today.”
“Thanks.”
She smiled, proud of her delivery, and ran off again without catching her breath.
I trudged over to his place, slowly. Hopefully he was canceling today and I wasn’t going to get stuck in a small room with him.
The door was open, so I let myself in. There were footsteps in the bedroom as I made myself comfortable on the couch. The steps got closer, and he walked past me, his scent drifting over, along with a good whiff of magic. I didn’t think he’d intended the magic part. This was the first time I’d seen him since he’d made the offer to merge magic with me. Or should I say, block someone else’s offer? Use, use, use. It was becoming a tune in my head that would play over and over.
It was true that I was using him too. I’d given that a lot of thought last night. Who was using whom more? I still needed him for protection, and I needed those stones. He needed me to get the stones. These were all situations that would end eventually, one way or another. If I was still alive, I could walk away and decide to take my chances alone. He could decide to do the same. If we merged magic? All bets were off. I might be walking away a dull in a Wyrd Blood’s body.
He stopped in the middle of the living room, staring my way with a curious look. “What are you thinking?”
It was unnerving how much he could pick up on from my magical energy. That was one skill I needed to learn, like yesterday.
I crossed my arms. “That instead of dawdling around here, we need to be out getting more stones.” Stones meant I wouldn’t need to merge with anyone.
“I’m working on a location. Have you thought about merging magic?”
I should’ve known he’d go there. Was he going to stall with the stones so he could get his mitts on my magic?
“Yes. I think it’s the solution of last resort. I don’t see any need to do that when we might figure something else out, like getting more stones.”
Magic swirled so hard and fast that strands of my hair lifted. He stood there, arms crossed, nailing me with his stare. The very first time I’d met him, I’d worried he’d kill me with his magic. I didn’t fear that anymore. It wouldn’t kill me. I’d felt it wrap around me too intimately, like a shawl or a warm hug. I’d felt other magic I’d clashed with, and I was beginning to know the difference. Even at full blast, his magic wouldn’t harm me. There was something weird going on there that I hadn’t quite figured out, but I sensed in some place I didn’t understand.
“Are you considering binding with Knife?”
I’d told him I wanted stones and his brain went to Knife. The idea someone else would steal one of his toys drove him nuts. That was all I was to him, too: a toy, a pawn, a tool. A girl pumped full of more magic than she knew what to do with, or how to use, that he bossed around. The idea someone else would steal his fun was burning him up, and I liked it.
“Maybe,” I said, shrugging. “I stay here; I go to Dorley with Knife. What’s the difference? It’s all the same in the end to me.”
He didn’t move. He didn’t speak.
I’d pushed it too far, in his opinion. Had it been that I put Knife on the same level with him? Could his ego not handle that? Maybe that wasn’t so bad. My ego had a hard time with a lot of the things he’d done lately. Ryker could use a kick to the ego too, from my perspective.
He was a stone except for the magic near boiling around me. I dragged a breath in and realized it wasn’t altogether uncomfortable this time. His magic did strange things to mine. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. There was tingling going on in places that shouldn’t have been feeling anything and had nothing to do with rage.
“Make no mistake about it, you will kill him. His magic isn’t strong enough,” Ryker said.
“I understood the first time you told me, but you don’t really know that for sure.” I stood and took a step toward the door. “Are we going to practice today, or should I leave?”
He stared for a second as I wondered if he’d throw me out. Then he tilted his toward the couch. “Sit. We’re practicing here.”
Shit.
His magic swelled around me.
I hated it.
I loved it, which made me hate it even more. It was like being surrounded by lightning, every fiber alive and sizzling, as if before him I’d been slumbering in a coma for years.
I hated him. If I could leave this place right now, I would. That was why the worm kept telling me to go. It knew Ryker couldn’t help me anyway, and I’d be tortured until I eventually died.
“You’re doing it again. Concentrate,” he said as he walked in front of the couch, where I sat a sweaty mess.
“What am I doing?” We’d been at this magical tug of war for hours.
“You’re pulling my magic to you. You can’t control your own. Pulling mine isn’t going to help.”
We’d been having a battle of wills for hours. I knew what he was looking for. He wanted me to quit, say it was too much and I needed a break. Prove that he was stronger than me. I wouldn’t. I’d keep going until he dropped beside me.
“I’m. Not. Pulling.” I’d never try to pull anything from him—not his magic, for sure.
I glanced at Burn where he sat at the table, slumped over and sweating with his head propped up on his palm. He was collateral damage, and I didn’t feel one lick about it. He deserved a little pain after his manipulation.
Burn had
stopped by to grab a book from Ryker, and neither of us had let him leave. I’d said I thought practicing might work better with more Wyrd Bloods around, and Ryker couldn’t have jumped on my excuse any faster than if it had been his idea. That was how I knew he was miserable too. We’d see who cracked first.
“Burn, do you feel like I’m pulling?” I asked.
His lower lip jutted out slightly and he shook his head. “No. You’re not pulling.” His voice came out as if we were torturing him. I guessed we kind of were.
“Burn, you can’t afford to be nice,” Ryker said.
Burn made a jerking movement that might’ve been shrug on a better day. “I’m not being nice. I’m not feeling it.”
He was so beaten down that he couldn’t even lie anymore.
“Maybe it’s you?” I crossed my arms and raised a brow, trying to mimic the condescending gesture he’d given me countless times today. I wasn’t sure I could pull it off. I wasn’t a big enough ass.
“It’s not me.”
I stood, needing to stretch my legs and catch a little air near the door.
“And I think it is.” As I stood, wishing the wind would pick up, I caught sight of a woman heading straight for here. It was one of Knife’s people.
Her hips thumped back and forth so much she could’ve kept beat for a band with them. Her hair swished with every step, swinging luscious black tresses. She dressed like she knew exactly what she had to work with, leathers that barely clung on her hips and fit like they’d been made for her. Her shirt hung open low enough that I could see the ample cleavage, and it was tied high enough to show a flat belly. I watched her approach in my oversized shirt and baggy leathers that needed a good cleaning.
I stepped away from the door as she neared, trying to avoid a side-by-side comparison that wouldn’t fare well for me.
She knocked a second later, poking her head in.
Full Blood (Wyrd Blood Book 2) Page 10
