No.
He lifted the coffee pot and poured her a cup. ‘How are you?’ He tried to keep it light, but tension tightened his throat.
‘Good.’ She accepted the coffee, keeping her gaze on the cup and not him. ‘Sorry I slept so late.’
‘You needed it.’
He coughed out the huskiness in his voice. He hated it that she still apologised and felt she needed to explain her behaviour all the time.
She kept her eyes averted. Wariness prickled down his spine. Already he knew that look. She had something on her mind. That made two of them.
‘What’s up?’ he prompted.
She sipped her drink, bracing herself as if nervous. ‘I’ve been thinking...’
‘Sounds dangerous,’ he teased when she trailed off. ‘You have another crazy plan in your head?’
A small smile crossed her lips and she nodded.
He drew in an exaggerated breath. ‘Okay, hit me with it.’
She hesitated, her glance skittering away from him again. ‘I just want you to know I had a great time last night...’
He narrowed his gaze, all senses suddenly on full alert.
‘But I don’t think...’
His brain sharpened as she trailed off again. Was she attempting her first ‘one-night-and-walk-away’—her first ever break-up? Her thinking was more dangerous than he’d imagined.
‘We shouldn’t do that again,’ she said quickly.
‘Do what again?’ He wanted to make her spell it out. Wanted to make her blush awkwardly all over again. Because he was feeling oddly wounded.
‘We shouldn’t sleep together,’ she said more firmly.
‘You mean have sex?’
‘That too.’
He blinked. Wow. Even though it was exactly what he’d been thinking less than five minutes ago, now the idea seemed like pure madness. Had he disappointed her in some way? He refused to believe it.
‘I made you—’
‘Yes,’ she blurted, interrupting him. ‘I had too good a time.’
Was that even possible? He relaxed a little and rubbed his hand across his mouth to hide his smile. ‘So the problem is...?’
‘It’s simple pleasure to you,’ she said, straightening. ‘You said it’s just a fun pastime. And I can see why... It’s amazing.’
He dropped his hand and stared at her warily.
‘The thing is...’ She paused to cough the frog from her throat and sent him an apologetic smile. ‘I think it might not be that simple for me. I liked it...too much. I know it’s probably just because...you know...I’m not that experienced and you’re really—’
He held up his hand to stop her. ‘I can’t make out if you’re insulting me or paying me a compliment.’
‘You’re really good at making a woman feel good,’ she said earnestly, regardless of his interruption. ‘The problem is if you keep making me feel that good I’ll probably end up fancying myself in love with you.’
‘And of course that is beyond the realms of possibility?’ He forced a smile past the hollowness in his chest. ‘Once again, I thank you for your honesty.’
‘It’s just better if we don’t sleep together again.’ She held the coffee cup close to her chest.
‘One night really was enough for you?’ Rebellion bubbled in his blood. ‘Straight back to self-denial, Katie?’
She’d scuttled into her box, hiding away when she didn’t have to. He was tempted to stand up and take the two steps to get close to her again. One kiss and he’d convince her otherwise.
‘Self-preservation,’ she corrected quietly.
‘Are you trying to scare me off?’ he asked, attempting a small tease when in fact he felt the furthest from laughing he’d felt in years.
‘I’m not like you...’ she breathed. ‘I don’t want to be just another lover for anyone,’ she said.
He rubbed his forehead. ‘I’m not the complete playboy you seem to think I am.’ His gaze narrowed when he saw the disbelieving arch of her eyebrows. ‘I played that up because you were being so judgey. How do you think I got my clubs so damn popular? It was all part of the image.’
She shook her head at him, her eyes serious. ‘No, Alessandro. I saw you.’
He paused. ‘Saw me what?’
Her blush deepened. ‘You were about eighteen...it wasn’t long before you left White Oaks for the last time. I saw you in the orchard. You were...entertaining one of the summer workers. A few days later you were entertaining another. You’ve always had lots of women. It wasn’t about building your business then.’
‘You saw me “entertaining” one of the student workers? What was I doing?’ He racked his brain, trying to remember who or when, but honestly that period in his life had been hideous.
She didn’t reply but that flush under her skin deepened in colour. Clearly he’d been doing a little more than kissing a girl.
‘Did you like watching me?’ he asked roughly.
Her eyes widened in surprise and the colour mottled all down her neck. ‘I was only... I didn’t know what I was watching.’
Definitely more than just kissing. He gazed at her searchingly, compelling her to tell him more.
‘I was curious,’ she muttered. ‘Okay, maybe I was jealous.’ She shook her head, her mortification evident. ‘You never even looked at me.’
‘Of course I didn’t.’ He was shocked into speaking frankly. ‘You were a child who hid in the kitchen all the time. I hardly saw you. And, yes, I was having a good time with other distractions. I needed those distractions then.’
‘Because of your father and Naomi?’
Her soft question pierced his cool armour.
‘I hated her.’
He was so shocked by Katie’s confession, by the tired confusion in his head, that the truth washed out of him. His father’s new wife had made them leave the home he loved and then...
‘She took everything from me. She made him—’ He broke off and strove for simplicity. ‘He died and I blamed her. I still do.’
His father’s heart had already been broken, but Naomi had delivered the fatal blow.
He glared at Katie, angered at what she’d made him reveal, but somehow unable to stop more words tumbling out. ‘I was alone. It felt good. I’m not going to apologise for that.’
It hurt enough to admit even this. The truth was he’d been miserable. Bereft and grieving. And at the time he hadn’t handled what was happening. The welcome of those lovers had been a brief respite from the bruising reality of his world being ripped apart.
‘I was...’
‘Seeking solace?’ Katie finished his sentence softly.
He stilled. Solace? No. Not solace. That sounded too romantic, too refined. It attached too much meaning to what had been...
‘No, it was just an escape,’ he corrected her, blinding himself to the welts on his heart as he spoke. ‘Sex feels good.’
‘It’s always just physical?’ She frowned. ‘Orgasms for everyone?’
He stiffened. ‘Everyone loves a good orgasm, Katie, even you.’
‘So there isn’t an emotional connection?’
Her query caused him discomfort... He wasn’t a user. He was a giver, right?
‘I always ensure my partner has a good time,’ he said, avoiding answering the actual question.
But she’d got what she wanted anyway. She’d exposed his shallow soul and he was angry with her. Because maybe it wasn’t about all those women he’d been with at that time. Maybe he had just been seeking a fix—as temporary as it had been. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to confront the hurt he’d been hiding from. He still didn’t.
Yet even as he justified and deflected he felt flawed. Flayed. And he didn’t like what she’d found in him.
‘Yes,’ Katie said, her face falling. ‘I get that now.’
/> That was a knowledge she had because of him.
The thought of her enjoying escapist sex with some other guy skyrocketed his blood pressure.
‘Damn it, Katie.’ He frowned and sighed heavily.
‘Maybe I was naive and judgey before.’ She clutched her cup closer to her chest. ‘But I’m right about stopping this now. You know I’m right.’
Yeah, as much as he hated the idea, he agreed with her. And he could hardly argue with her when he was the one who’d told her to speak up for what she wanted.
‘Okay.’ He nodded. ‘No problem. I can handle a woman saying no to me.’
‘Really?’ As she turned he glimpsed something sharp in her eyes. ‘That’s not a challenge? Isn’t it always a game to you?’
‘It was when you were lying to yourself about how much you wanted me,’ he said roughly, resenting the way she was challenging him now.
‘You wanted me only to prove how much I wanted you?’
‘No.’
At that first meeting in his office she’d hit his pride and he’d wanted to bite back. He’d told himself he’d get her to say yes for sport. But the truth was that real desire had taken hold in seconds. And now there could be nothing but blunt honesty.
‘I just wanted you.’
He still did. But he didn’t want to admit how different last night had felt. Not to her, and not to himself.
It was only because these were unusual circumstances. He’d never brought a woman to his island—that was what had made last night unique. There wasn’t anything actually meaningful or special between them.
She stared at him for a moment. ‘I’m sorry.’ Worry straightened her soft mouth.
He realised she had actually been afraid of his reaction—of telling him what she wanted, denying him.
He pulled his head together and sent her a genuine smile, wanting her to relax. ‘I can handle rejection, Katie. I’m not going to ask you to leave or end our arrangement just because you’ve had enough. You’re allowed autonomy over your own damn body. Always.’
But she’d left an ache in his. And it was not unquenched lust. This was a loss that went deeper than that. In only a couple of soft-spoken sentences she’d stripped him of something he’d never realised he had but that he’d held dear.
His self-delusion.
* * *
Katie pulled on her bikini, bypassed the pool, and headed to the small beach she’d seen from the helicopter. She’d avoid Alessandro by exploring the island.
For almost an hour she walked along the waterline, paddling her feet and contemplating his reaction. But then she heard the chug of an engine growing louder. She paused halfway along the beach and watched the sleek little motorboat slowly come closer. Judging by the gleaming boat and its occupants’ glamorous attire, she guessed they were friends of Alessandro’s. And they’d clearly had this destination in mind.
‘Ciao, bella!’ the man called, a wide smile on his face as they came close to the shore.
‘I’m not Bella,’ she replied coolly.
The man wasn’t put off—in fact he laughed. ‘So it’s true, Alessandro!’
She turned swiftly. Her husband was standing at the top of the beach behind her, wearing nothing but swim shorts. Katie swiftly suppressed her gasp of surprise that her spirits soared just at the sight of him. She blinked and tried not to stare like some lust-crazed nympho at all his bare skin. Acrid, smoky regret curled in her.
‘What are you doing here, Vassily?’ Alessandro asked, walking to join her at the waterfront.
‘Satisfying my curiosity. We’re all agog at the events.’ The man was unabashed by Alessandro’s even cooler tone—clearly a good friend, then. ‘Since when have you been caught?’
‘I keep my most precious things private—you know that, Vassily.’ Alessandro ignored the question.
An unspoken communication passed between the two men before Vassily turned a bright smile on her. ‘Come out with us for a quick spin,’ he invited wickedly.
‘Say no, Katie.’
She glanced at Alessandro and saw an unreadable brilliance in his eyes. She knew his friend was trying to goad him in some way, and while she should probably side with him, she was curious to know more. The imp of defiance blossomed within her.
‘I only want to interrogate you,’ Vassily added with roguish charm.
And she only wanted to escape Alessandro.
Rebellious fire raced in her veins. ‘I’ve never been on a boat like yours.’
‘Alessandro!’ Vassily was audibly shocked. ‘Have you kept her imprisoned on this island?’
‘Getting into that rust bucket would be beneath you,’ Alessandro informed her dryly.
Katie met Alessandro’s gaze and read the displeasure there. For a moment she wondered if he was going to grasp her by the hand and hold her to his side.
She turned back to Vassily and forced a light laugh. ‘He wants me to say no, but I’m not going to.’
‘Defiant and beautiful...’ Vassily taunted Alessandro.
Alessandro stared at Katie for another moment, a hint of retribution in his eyes, and then he splashed into the water.
‘Are you coming too?’ Vassily groaned with disappointment. ‘How am I to torture the truth from her?’
‘You’re not touching her.’ Alessandro turned and held out his hand to help her into the boat.
‘Possessive?’ Vassily commented dryly.
‘Of my wife—yes.’
Katie couldn’t look at either man as Alessandro helped her into the boat. He was only playing up his ‘possessiveness’ in front of his friends. She quickly sat and pasted on a smile for the woman who’d been watching the proceedings from behind her glamorous sunglasses.
Alessandro climbed aboard and shot Vassily a lazy look. ‘Once around the island. Thirty minutes. That’s all.’ He leaned forward. ‘Katie, this is Nina and Vassily. Both of them are untrustworthy annoyances.’
From his tone she knew he was teasing. Nina just had to be a model. She had gleaming black hair to her hips, smoky eyes, and a white string bikini that showed off every inch of her stunning physique.
‘Would you like a drink?’ Vassily offered with a laugh. ‘There’s champagne in the picnic basket.’
‘No, thanks, it’s a little early for me.’
So this was his world. Katie listened to their glib repartee, noting their insouciance and glamour. These were wealthy people avoiding boredom with their fast boats, fast women and party lifestyle.
She saw the glance Nina shot Alessandro, heard her low, laughing whisper, and stiffened. In a few months’ time he’d be free to follow up that invitation if he wanted. She knew he wouldn’t now, though. He’d made a promise to her in Vegas and for as long as they were married he’d keep it. But even so jealousy twisted. It was stupid of her when she’d said no to him. She’d stopped it.
Only three hours in and she regretted that rash decision.
Don’t think about it.
‘Do you stay here with Alessandro often?’ she asked, thinking she’d distract herself by getting what information she could from Vassily.
‘No one gets to go on Alessandro’s island—it’s sacrosanct.’
‘He doesn’t lease it out when he’s not here?’ She frowned lightly.
‘Oh, I wish! We’d all lease it year-round.’
Why had he told her he leased it out when he didn’t? Why lie? And it didn’t make sense. Alessandro was too astute a businessman to leave an asset like this unoccupied and not making him money. Moreover, he was known for his rapid turnaround of businesses. He flicked them on at a profit and moved to the next. Why hadn’t he sold this place?
Well, actually, that she could understand—no one in their right mind would ever sell this slice of heaven.
She masked her frown with a smile as they circled
around the island and sped past the high cliffs. They’d circled around half the island already.
Another small cove came into view. ‘That beach is amazing.’
Vassily glanced at her and turned to Alessandro with surprise. ‘You’ve not taken her swimming here?’
‘We’ve been busy with other things.’ Alessandro ran his fingertip across her bare shoulders. ‘The sun is hot. We should get you back.’
‘You’ve brought out his protective instincts,’ Vassily said in apparent amazement. ‘I never knew he had any.’
Katie turned back to the beach.
‘A blushing bride, Alessandro?’ Vassily positively marvelled. ‘I’d never have thought.’
‘You don’t often think,’ Alessandro retorted mildly. ‘Take us home.’
‘You can always come and stay with me if he gets too grumpy,’ Vassily whispered to her as they returned to the main beach and he pulled the boat back into the shallows.
‘I never get grumpy, Vassily. Unless someone tries to mess with what’s mine.’
It was a barely veiled threat, playing up to his protective, possessive image. After all, for him it was always a game.
‘I want to be alone with my wife—does that really surprise you?’
‘No. And I don’t blame you for keeping her your secret captive, Alessandro.’ Vassily smirked. ‘I’m only sorry you met her first.’
Katie breathed out in relief as she jumped back into the water and splashed to the relative safety of Alessandro’s private beach. ‘Bye, Vassily—bye, Nina.’ She waved.
‘Did you have fun?’ Alessandro asked with an ironic inflection as they walked the path to the house.
‘Your friends are nice.’
‘They’re too curious.’
‘Because they care?’
He shook his head. Of course he’d deny any depth of emotion in any of his relationships.
‘I bet you two make a fabulous duo. Two playboys on the prowl.’ She grimaced.
‘You’re forgetting Nina,’ he drawled.
The Innocent's Emergency Wedding Page 13
