Outside the hospital, Devin hugged Sallie close. "I love you, Grandma Thornton. If we weren't standing in the middle of the street, I'd kiss you till your teeth rattied."
"Will you do that later?" Sallie asked.
"Count on it. I never made love to a grandmother before,"
"Do you think it will be different?"
"Better." Devin leered at her as he held the door to the restaurant open.
"Promises, promises."
Helmet and goggles in hand, his parachute slapping him on the buttocks, Major Ash Thornton, newly promoted, saluted his plane as he made his way to his quarters. Midway, he was stopped by a radioman, who handed him a message.
"Congratulations, Major!"
Ash nodded wearily and dropped his eyes to the printed message. It took a moment to digest what he'd just read. Twin boys! He was a father! His stomach started to churn. He was responsible for three people's lives. He turned to go back on deck. All he wanted was to get to his plane and soar up as high as he could, up above the world, where it was quiet and peaceful so he could think. Fanny hadn't said anything about twins. One baby was what she had said. He'd come to terms these past months with one. He looked around wildly, his heart pounding in his chest. He thought about jumping overboard. He was a coward. How could he be a flying ace and a coward at the same time?
Ash dumped his flight gear on his bunk. He needed a second opinion here. He headed for the radio room where he asked to send a message to his brother on the Enterprise. His message to Captain Adam Jessup, also newly promoted, was brief and to the point. "Dear Uncle Adam, Major Ash Thornton announces the birth of twin sons. Respond so I know it's real."
Ash leaned against the door, chatting with one of the radiomen as he waited for Simon's reply. When it came, he grinned from ear to ear.
"Congratulations, Ash! It doesn't get more real than this. Shooting down Nagoma was a walk in the park compared to two o'clock feedings. Day after day. Night after night. Uncle Adam."
Fatherhood. Well, maybe he'd get used to it. Someday.
Fanny wished she had another set of arms and legs. Anything to help her get ready for Ash's sp)ecial four-day leave. She must have been out of her mind to volunteer to cook Thanksgiving dinner for her new family. Even with the help of a part-time cleaning woman and part-time baby nurse, she didn't have enough hours in the day.
Now both babies were wailing, Birch with an earache, Sage with a red, sore bottom. The baby nurse was sick and her cleaning lady had said good-bye, she was going back to California. Laundry was piled to the ceiling, she hadn't shopped yet for Thanksgiving dinner, and there was dust and grit over everything. Her husband was coming home in two days, and her waistline wasn't back to normal. Her breasts were overlarge, sore, and dripping. Everything she owned was stained with breast milk.
Sallie found Fanny sitting on the floor, a wailing baby in each arm. When Fanny saw her she cried harder.
SaUie took in the situation at a glance. "Fanny, why didn't you caU me? Never, ever, be afraid to ask for help. Tell me what happened." She listened, marveling that the young girl on the floor had managed as well as she had.
"The house is too big, Sallie. The cleaning woman complained. The baby nurse said the boys got on her nerves because they cry too much. I don't think she's going to come back. I haven't shopped for Thanksgiving dinner and I look ... oh, Sallie, I look like a cow. I do everything the doctor says, and the babies just aren't acting normal. Babies shouldn't cry all the time. That's all they do, Sallie. Sometimes they scream till I think I'll go out of my mind. Ash is ... I don't want..."
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"You should have called me, Fanny."
Fanny nodded, her face miserable. "Sallie, it scares me diat I'm not coping. Is it because I'm frazzled, or is it because I had the babies too soon after getting married? I'm not sure what it is I'm supposed to be feeling. I can name you all the negative things— frustration, exhaustion, downright anger. There don't seem to be any positives. Why don't I feel love and joy and . . . and all those things?"
Sallie struggled to find the words that would wipe the anguish from Fanny's face. "Motherhood is a totally new experience, Fanny. Once you give birth, you're not the same person you were before. That carefree person who jaunted off to Hawaii on a moment's notice is gone. The responsibility for one littie life is awesome, two is double that. I'm skirting around things here. Sons have a way of. . . breaking your heart.
"I love Ash, don't misunderstand, but remember this, Fanny. A son will break your heart if you dote on him, if you coddle him. I can't tell you the times Ash has chipped littie chunks from Philip's heart. I know this is not what you wanted to hear, Fanny, but it's the way it is."
"I'm glad you told me. I think I understand a littie better now. I'm going to do my best to love my children. I want more, you know. I'd love to have a littie girl. Ash never said, but I think he was disappointed that one of the tv^ns wasn't a girl. I know that I was. I feel guilty about that too."
"Guilt is a terrible thing, Fanny."
"I know because I'm riddled with it."
"I'm just sorry you didn't come to me after day one."
"I didn't want to bother you. You've done so much for me already. What kind of wife and mother am I going to be if I can't handle this? Not a very good one. I feel like a failure."
"You are not a failure. You just got off to a slow start. Now, change the babies, get yourself cleaned up. I have some calls to make."
Sallie did what she always did in times of crisis. She picked up the phone. "Su Li, I need help. All the cousins you can gather together. Food. An hour would be good. This instant would be even better. A bag full of your famous herbs. I'm ever so grateful, Su Li.
"We're in business, Fanny. Su Li has the situation in hand. These babies are going on botties right now. You'll wean them off slowly. I wouldn't be a bit surpri.sed to find out there's something wrong with
your milk. We're going to check that out. Get cleaned up, you and I are going out as soon as your help arrives."
"I can't leave the boys, Sallie."
"Of course you can. You're worn to a frazzle. Babies pick up on your tension. They react to it. You need sleep, you need fresh air. You stay cooped up in this house all day and night. It isn't healthy."
"Ash . . ."
"Ash is the least of your problems right now. He will take all this in stride. Your body will return to normal when it's ready to do so."
"He's going to expect me to look ..."
"Like a movie star. That is not realistic. We have no other choice but to take it as it comes. We're going to do our best to get things back to normal. We'll handle whatever comes up, and that includes Ash." Fanny started to cry again. "No more tears, Fanny. Now, let me see a big smile. It's going to be aU right."
They arrived like the army they were, their spokesperson, an elderly Chinese who spoke halting English. Sallie cleared her throat as she struggled to speak the Chinese language she'd once spoken fluentiy. There were many bows, many bobbing heads, and always there were smiles as Sallie issued her instructions, then guided Fanny out the door.
"When we get back things will be under control. You'll think you stepped into another world. We're going to keep two of the girls, one for nights and one for days, to help with the boys. We'll keep two of the older women for housework, one to cook and one to clean. They'll help you to establish a routine, which is something you lack right now. I'm not criticizing you, Fanny. I couldn't have done it. Two babies is a lot of work. I think the secret is getting them on the same schedule if that's even possible."
"Sallie, I can't afford all those people. Ash is going to have a fit. He wasn't overjoyed that you bought the house for us as a wedding present."
"Ash likes to be comfortable. He likes to snap his fingers and be waited on. He doesn't much care for situations that go awry. He may have changed, but I doubt it. We are not going to worry about Ash. We're going to lunch. Then you are going to the beauty shop to ge
t the works. After that we're going shopping."
When the women returned home at six-thirty Fanny stood in the foyer, a stunned expression on her face. "Listen, Sallie."
"I don't hear anything."
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"Exactly. The boys aren't crying. I don't believe it. Do you think something is wrong?"
"No, everything is very right. Something smells wonderful. Your dinner, no doubt."
"Dinner? There was no food. I've been eating cheese S2ind-wiches."
"My God, Fanny."
"I want to see the boys. The house is so clean," Fanny said, looking around. "There are fresh flowers everywhere. This is wonderful."
"Go along now and see how your sons are doing. I'll check out the kitchen, and then I must be on my way. Let's have a cup of coffee together."
The nursery was dim with only a small lamp burning on the dresser. The old, wrinkled Chinese woman was sitting in the rocking chair, her hands folded in her lap. She inclined her head to the side, indicating Fanny should check on her sons. Both infants were sleeping peacefully. Fanny heaved a sigh of rehef that was so loud, the old woman smiled. "What should I call you?" Fanny whispered.
"No whisper. Babies no wake. No tiptoe. Missy make much noise. Run sweeper. Bang door is okay. My name is Moon. You eat, you sleep. Moon stay. Only feed baby once before bed."
Fanny bent over to hug the old woman's shoulders. "My name is Fanny. Thank you for taking care of my sons. I don't know what you did, but you have my permission to keep doing it. I haven't had a night's sleep in two months." Fanny raced downstairs to the kitchen.
"It's amazing, Sallie, the boys are sleeping soundly. Moon is rocking in the chair, and she said she's going to stay. I feel like a thousand pounds have been taken off my shoulders. I'm going to eat, feed the babies, take a long bubble bath, try on my new clothes, and go to bed. Would you like to stay for supper, Sallie?"
"I can't, sweetie, but thanks for asking. Devin wants to go over some of the bills for Ragtown. He just called a few minutes ago to say a letter came to the office from Seth. We'll catch a bite to eat later. It does smell delicious. I asked what it was and they said pork, rice, scallions, a magic sauce of some kind. Fresh snow peas, fresh balked bread, and I believe chocolate cake. Tea. Always tea. All of Su Li's cousins are wonderful cooks. This coffee is delicious. I really have to be going, Fanny. Is there anything else you need me to do?"
"Nothing I can think of Thank you for everything."
"It was my pleasure. By the way, what time is Thanksgiving dinner?"
"I thought three o'clock would be good. Ash said he'd get here around noon. We can all visit for a few hours. If things change, I'll call you."
"Three o'clock is fine. I'm looking forward to it. It was very nice of you to ask Devin. He was so touched. Philip is comfortable with it. So am I. I just wanted to thank you for that."
"I would do anything for you, Sallie," Fanny said, hugging her mother-in-law.
"I feel the same way. Enjoy the silence, and keep your fingers crossed that it continues."
"It's true," Fanny said. "Silence is golden."
"Amen."
Fanny broke into a sweat as she pulled on the rubber girdle. She stared in the mirror at the bulge of fat above her waisdine. Nothing was going to make the twenty extra pounds go away except a diet. The dress Sallie had bought her was cleverly designed, but not enough to cover her offending stomach. The stitching under the bustline and the flowing sweep of the skirt, in her opinion, called attention to her oversize bosom and hinted that there was something she was hiding beneath the flowing skirt. In short, she looked dumpy. The only thing fashionable about her was her new haircut and her makeup. She wanted to cry. Ash was going to be disappointed in her. Even Sallie knew that.
"Fanny, we're here!" Bess trilled from the bottom of the steps.
"Come up, Bess. Tell John to make himself a drink."
"I came early in case you needed some help. I see that things are under control. What's wrong, Fanny, you look like you're going to cry any minute."
"Look at me, Bess. Do I look anything like the girl who went off to Hawaii on a moment's notice? Don't answer. I'm twenty pounds overweight. I feel like a cow. I never had thick ankles before. The weight is in all the wrong places. I couldn't get into that lacy underwear if I tried. This dress was the only one we could fmd that attempted to cover up my . . . deficiencies."
"Fanny, you had two baby boys. You gained sixty pounds. You lost all the other weight, it's just slow coming off. By the first of the year you'll be back to normal. I wouldn't care at all if I looked like
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you. John doesn't want me to lose weight; he likes me just the way I am. Do you have any idea how happy that makes me feel? I know you'll be slim and trim in time to be my matron of honor in February. What I'm trying to say here, is,'things work out. Trust me."
"Ash is going to be disappointed, Bess."
"Don't start to fret or you'll spoil the whole day. What time do you expect him?"
"He said around noon. It's almost that now. Tell me the truth, how do I look?"
"To me, Fanny, you look beautiful. You look like you're in love with your husband and two sons," Bess said loyally. "I'll go downstairs and sit with John. Finish what you have to do. Can I just peek in at the boys?"
"You can go into that room and beat a drum if you want. You can take them downstairs if you want. I set two cradles up in the living room. I want Ash to see them as soon as he gets here."
"Okay," Bess said agreeably. "I'm so jealous. I can't wait to have a baby."
"Don't do it right away, Bess."
"We're going to try right away. John loves children. He was so proud when you asked us to be godparents. Don't be nervous now. He's your husband, Fanny. Don't make Ash into something he isn't. I don't care if he is a major, and I don't care if the town is going to give him a parade when he gets out of the service. So there."
"So there, yourself" Fanny laughed.
Fanny literally jumped off the couch when she heard the door of Ash's taxi. Her face drained of all color. Should she run to the door? Should she stand in the foyer? Should she stand by the cradles? She looked around at her assembled guests who, as one, were making shooing monons toward the door. Throwing caution to the winds, Fanny ran to the door, Ash's name on her lips as she yanked it open.
Visored cap pushed back on his head, his necktie askew, his duffel over his shoulder, Major Ash Thornton could have posed for a military ad inviting young people to join up for the good of their country.
"Whoa, now that's what I call a greeting!"
If she hadn't been eyeball to eyeball with her husband, Fanny might not have seen the subtle change in Ash's eyes when he held her at arm's length for a better look. She wanted to cry when she felt a burst of warm wetness under her dress. Damn, the gauze pads she'd placed over her sore nipples weren't helping. In five minutes
her brand-new dress was going to be soaked. Trying to make the best of it, she linked her arm in her husband's and marched him into the living room, where his mother and father were eagerly awaiting him. "I'll just be a minute," she said hoarsely as she exited the room. Only Bess saw the torment on her face. She followed her friend upstairs.
"What's wrong?"
"Everything's wrong, Bess," Fanny said, lifting the dress over her head. "Look, another minute and my dress would have been stained. Now, wouldn't that look nice!" Two minutes later, she had on fresh clothes. She fussed at her hair for a minute before she took a deep breath. "I saw his eyes, Bess; he couldn't hide what he was feeling. It was almost . . . almost revulsion. I saw it. Damn it, I saw it; he didn't even bother to hide it."
"Come on, you can't stay up here. If what you say is true, then your husband is a creep. Just for today. I don't mean he's a creep aU the time. Guys are jerks for the most part, we all know that. Take it slow and easy, Fanny. You might be overreacting. As it is, you're missing Ash's first minutes with his new sons. Shit, why
don't things ever work out right?" This was new for Bess; she never said so much as damn. Obviously, John Noble was influencing her life in many different ways.
"Smile, Fanny. Be charming. Talk up a storm. I'll only be an arm's length away."
"What do you think, Ash, do they look like you or me or both of us?" Fanny asked from the doorway.
"I can't decide," Ash said as he jiggled both babies. "I can't tell them apart. If you switched them up and took off their IDs, I wouldn't know them. This one is smiling, this one is frowning," he said, his voice full of awe. "They're httle people. I thought babies cried all the time."
"They do cry all the time. They have cried steadily, night and day, for over two months. If it wasn't for your mother and Moon, I'd be in the loony bin. They aren't smiling and frowning; that's gas." Her voice was so flat and dead-sounding, the room grew silent.
"I prefer to think of it as a smile and a frown. What the eye sees is all that's important," Ash said lighdy.
"I couldn't agree more," Fanny said. This time her voice was colder than ice. Bess nudged her arm.
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"I refuse to pretend. He can't take that look back. I saw it. He just condemned himself with his own words," Fanny said out of the corner of her mouth.
"Dinner's ready," Sallie said, a desperate look in her eyes.
Bess reached for Sage and Fanny reached for Birch. "Go along everyone, we'll just take the babies upstairs to Moon," Fanny said Ughdy. Ash had no other choice but to relinquish his sons.
When the two young women returned to the dining room the others were waiting to say grace. Fanny took her place next to Sallie, direcdy across the table from Ash. Bess sat on her right. Philip folded his hands and offered up a simple prayer of thanksgiving as soon as everyone was seated. "I imagine this meal is going to taste very good, Ash. How's the food on the Hornet?"
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