by Amity Cross
Spotting Ash in the distance, talking to a group of people, I made straight for him. I hated what I was about to do, but I couldn’t help it…could I? Maybe tonight was too much of a big step.
Tugging on Ash’s arm, I said, “I’m going home.”
Turning away from his conversation, he frowned. “You okay?”
I nodded, swallowing hard, my eyes darting to the floor. “I just…”
“It’s okay,” he replied, winding an arm around my waist. “I’ll get you a taxi. Is that cool? I’ve kinda gotta stick around.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, Ash. I tried, I really did…”
“It’s okay, squirt.” He hugged me tight as we weaved through the mass of bodies. “The fact that you made it inside at all is fuckin’ huge. I’m proud of you.”
Cool air hit my face as we stepped outside, chasing away the burn in my cheeks. What was normal anyway? Nil social anxiety and the ability to string a sentence together in front of the guy you liked. At the thought of my brief encounter with Lincoln, I closed my eyes, willing the tears that threatened to fuck off. While I’d stood in the kitchen the other day, staring at those stupid romance books, I’d decided it was time for something good in my life. I knew I had to fight and that it would be hard, but I didn’t think it would be so humiliating. Happy endings? How could I have one of those if I couldn’t even look at a man?
As I stood out on the footpath waiting for Ash to call a taxi, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was ever going to get better. Maybe this was it. Violet Fuller was a scared, social reject and nothing was ever going to change.
It was an alarming thought.
4
Lincoln
The door closed behind Violet, and I blinked hard, lost for words.
What the fuck just happened?
She was just as gorgeous as I remembered, but she was…scared? Of what? Me? I knew she’d had a rough time of it, but I was just beginning to understand how much.
I shook my head. What the fuck did I know about her life? Making assumptions like a know-it-all.
Rubbing my eyes, I pushed out into the hall and thumped down the stairs, re-joining the party. What had Dean said on the phone? Oh yeah, have lots of fun, which was his code for ‘get your dick in something and chill the fuck out’.
Making my way through the crowd of people, I shook a few hands and smiled a lot, but I really just wanted to see her. Lingering by the bar, my eyes scanned the room, but I couldn’t see any trace of the mysterious Violet Fuller.
Movement beside me drew my attention, and I took in the blonde woman who’d just placed a tray on the bar beside me. She was a six-foot model with a tiny waist and big tits. Obviously one of the women hired to waitress the event for the night, what with her tiny sports top and shorts emblazoned with the Pulse logo.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked with a purr, looking me up and down.
Realizing I’d been staring at her tits, I pulled my gaze away. Fucking that would take the edge off, cool some of this excess energy that had sparked at my brief run-in with Violet, but it wouldn’t mean shit. Glancing away, I caught sight of Ash leading a distraught looking Violet out of the gym, and my heart skipped.
“No,” I said, not even looking at the woman.
“Are you fighter?” she asked and I turned back to her. She was smiling, and now that I got a good look at her, she kind of looked fit. Like she worked out.
“Yeah.” I looked back over at the door, but Violet was gone.
“I thought so,” the woman went on. “You’ve got that look.”
Shaking my head, I focused back on the waitress. “What look?”
Her eyes sparkled the moment she realized she had my undivided attention. “Muscles, scars,” she replied, laying it on thick.
“Do you train?” I asked, letting my gaze wander over her body and lingering on her bare midriff. Well-defined.
“Yeah. I do some. It helps with the job.” She tilted her head to the side, throwing me a flirtatious smile.
I bet it did. She was pretty enough, but I couldn’t see the substance under the exterior of caked on make-up. Thinking about the cage girls they had walking the octagon in the pro circuit, I wrinkled my nose. They weren’t exactly known as a bunch of classy ladies. They spread for money, muscles and a handsome face. It was too easy…and too fuckin’ empty.
The bartender leaned between us and began loading up her tray with glasses full of champagne. She sighed dramatically like it was too much of an imposition to do her job. Most likely, she wanted to stick around and see if she could work her way around my cock.
“Are you going to train here?” she asked.
I nodded. “I guess. For a while, at least.”
Smiling like she’d just won the lotto, she picked up the full tray of glasses and began to move away. “What’s your name, fighter?”
“Lincoln,” I replied automatically.
“I’m Andrea,” she said. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around then.”
I frowned.
“This is my local,” she threw back as the crowd swallowed her up.
Fuckin’ great. A woman sniffing around for a bit of a fuck when I was hard for the sister of the motherfuckin’ owner. I was a free man, and Violet certainly didn’t work here. She was absolutely terrified of being in a room alone with me, and I was pretty sure she couldn’t make herself any clearer. Violet Fuller didn’t want me poking around the edges, so what harm was there in a little fun while I was on down time?
I was a guy, my dick got hard and Andrea seemed willing enough. As long as I was clear about what was involved, no problems.
I’d been holding a flame for Violet Fuller for a long fucking time, and I’d hardly said two words to her and she’d bolted. I wasn’t sure what hurt more. My balls or my pride.
What harm was there in a little fun?
5
Violet
When Monday morning finally rolled around, I’d worked myself up into a complete tizz.
I sat in the front passenger seat of Ash’s car, my mind like a tumble dryer. My brother sat next to me, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to some song on the radio.
I wore a pair of black jeans tucked into a pair of fashionable black boots, a maroon tartan shirt and a slate gray blazer. Ash had said not to get too dressed up and that I could get away with neat casual, but I still wanted to make a good impression. I thought back to all the blog posts I’d read over the weekend about professional empowerment and fashion. Dress the way you want the world to see you, and take pride in your appearance. It was a ploy to make me feel confident and all adult-like. This was my first real job after all.
“Oh, c’mon!” Ash yelled as a car cut in front of him. He bashed his fist down on the horn, and I grimaced. I always hated driving with my brother. He was a road rage menace to the extreme. I guess it went with the whole fighter mentality.
“You excited about today?” he asked as we came to yet another stop. Morning traffic was killer around these parts.
I shrugged. “I’m nervous more than anything.”
“Of course you are. Who isn’t on their first day at a new job?”
I smiled, trying to calm my stomach, which was currently fluttering with an entire swarm of butterflies. “What do you want me to do exactly?”
“Well, all the officey shit. Invoices, deliveries, balancing the books, payroll.”
He’d just explained the job of at least three people, and I was just a chick who’d done an online course with no real work experience. How was I meant to cope with all of that and my anxiety issues? “Shit, Ash! I exclaimed. “I thought I was just doing basic admin.”
“Well, I don’t trust any random shit off the street with my baby, Vee,” he replied with a laugh. “You may as well be the head honcho. Queen of the Pulse paper-pushers.”
“I’m the only one by the sounds of it,” I said, sinking further into the passenger seat. “What a kingdom to rule over.”
“I’m pay
ing you, you know. I don’t expect you to do this shit for free.”
“Better not.” I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and found him grinning at me. “Watch the road,” I exclaimed. “I don’t want to die before I even get there.”
He turned his attention back as the traffic began to crawl forward again. “Worst thing about living in Toorak,” he said. “Punt Road. There’s a reason they call it c—”
“Ash,” I scolded before he could say the c-word. Yeah, the locals called this road a nasty name because it was always clogged with traffic, no matter what day it was, and since we lived where we did, it was the only way over the Yarra River and across town to Abbotsford. The only way around was to get a bloody helicopter.
“So, how much does this gig pay?” I prodded. We hadn’t exactly talked about money, but it hadn’t even crossed my mind. He paid my way in everything as it was—he’d bought the house for me and paid for the food and bills like it was nothing. He was loaded, but that was beside the point. It was about time I grew the fuck up, be all adult and began to earn my own way in the cesspool of life.
Ash shrugged. “I dunno. How much you want?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? How do you get through life with that attitude?”
“With this face and body? It ain’t hard.” He slapped a hand on the steering wheel and began laughing like a madman at his own joke.
“How am I related to you? Right now, I can’t see any similarity.”
“You love me, Vee. Hey, you’re going to do great. I just know it.”
I frowned at his change of tone. The whole conversation had put me at ease from the impending foray back into the real world, but as we neared Pulse, I had begun to fidget, my fingers worrying the hem of my shirt.
Our chat ended after that, and the traffic began to move forward. Soon enough, we were turning off Hoddle Street and venturing into Abbotsford. The gym itself was well situated, being near Collingwood train station and a couple of tram stops on Victoria Parade. The surrounding streets were full of up and coming hipster bars and cafes, along with a strong Asian community along the main street. Great food and excellent location. It wasn’t too far from Ash’s infamous illegal cage fighting spot, The Underground, and I hoped he didn’t train any of those fighters at Pulse.
“Fuckin’ a plus!” Ash exclaimed as he pulled off the street and into a spot at the back of the gym. “My spot’s finally ready.”
I gave him a quizzical look as he killed the engine.
“Off-street parking, Vee,” he explained, pointing to the sign painted on the brickwork that read, ‘Employee Parking only’. “The contractors were meant to asphalt this bit weeks ago. It was killing me with parking fines round this joint.”
“It’s a wonder you didn’t get them to pave it in gold,” I said, pulling a face.
“Smart-ass,” he said, ruffling my hair. “C’mon inside. I want to show you this place in the daylight.”
Sliding out of the car, I followed Ash to a door set in the back and waited for him to fumble with his keys and unlock it. Pushing the heavy exit inward, we walked through a tight little hallway and emerged out into the huge space of the building that housed Pulse itself.
“Ta da!” Ash declared, throwing his arms wide.
I breathed deeply, smelling the faint scent of new paint and fresh leather.
“Kitchen’s through there,” Ash said, pointing to the right. “Change rooms, lockers and shit are through the next door past that.” He tugged me forward, keeping me on a simple path that didn’t stray too far into unknown territory. “Over the back is a proper cage—all kitted out—practice mats and bags. Weights in the middle and cardio machines in a separate room on the left. We’ve got extra storage upstairs and a separate room behind the kitchen too.”
“Wow,” I breathed. I knew it was fancy from the other night, but I hadn’t really looked. Now that it was empty of people and full of daylight, I could see the amount of hard work he’d put into creating this place.
“We’ve got the whole upper level, too,” he went on, pointing upward. “It’s still mostly shell, but hopefully we can get cracking on that soon.”
“Is that going to be the apartment?” I asked. The whole level above us was only half the size of the gym downstairs, but it was still a huge space to have to renovate.
“Yeah. We knocked out the floor over the gym so there’d be more light.”
I glanced up and saw there were several huge skylights set into the roof, which accounted for the brightness.
There was a bang and the sound of male laughter from the rear of the gym and my gaze instantly dropped. A group of fit looking men stood near the cage talking intently to one another, but that wasn’t the entire reason my heart began to go boom in my chest.
Lincoln stood with them, a smile plastered on his face, and I instantly felt like swooning. It was bloody overwhelming to say the least. When I saw him at the party, I thought that was it. Now, he stood on the opposite side of the gym—talking with a bunch of buff looking guys—wearing a tight Pulse T-shirt, with the word ‘trainer’ on the back, that clung to his sculpted body like a second skin.
“Office is upstairs,” Ash said, walking off.
He expected me to follow, but I stood transfixed. Should I be embarrassed? Excited? Hopeful? I had no idea what was a normal reaction after what went down between us on Friday night. All I could see right now was a man who I was totally in lust with but could never be well adjusted enough to even let touch me. Guys like Lincoln, muscled and full of energy, they liked sex. Not that I didn’t want to try again, it was just… Oh, fuck it. It was a double-edged sword of misery.
Blinking hard, I scrambled up the stairs after Ash, my entire body tingling. I felt my hands beginning to shake, and I jammed them against my sides.
Ash opened the first door at the top of the stairs, the same one I’d escaped through at the party, and ushered me inside.
“Have a seat, Vee,” he said. “Welcome to your new home away from home.”
I stared at the desk and the expensive looking iMac computer. There was nothing else in the whole place apart from a shelf, a chair, an all-in-one printer, fax and copier, and some black filing cabinets. I hadn’t really noticed what was in here on Friday, I was too busy looking at the carpet, and now that I saw it in the daylight, it was actually really nice. All soft and squishy with a nice pile to it.
“It’s very…” I coughed nervously. “Clean.”
Ash grinned. “I’d stick up a bunch of posters of fake titted women in their bikini’s, but Ren would string me up by the balls.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing he was talking the piss. “Asshole.”
“Hey, I’m your boss now, remember?” He perched on the desk and pressed the button on the back of the computer, bringing it to life. “You can decorate it if you want. Just no flowery girly shit.”
“I don’t think I have it in me for flowery girly shit,” I replied, sitting in the chair.
“Superheroes?” Ash snorted. “Nerd.”
I smirked. I guess I wasn’t a typical woman. I loved all the superhero movies and would take them any day over a chick flick. I guess it was the whole good versus evil thing.
“Ren’ll be here in a half hour or so,” Ash went on, “and she’ll tell you all the stuff she set up on the brick.” He patted the top of the computer. “I’ve got another employee orientation of the muscled variety to handle this morning.”
“Oh,” I muttered, already kinda knowing where this might be headed.
There was a knock on the door, and it opened, letting in perfection itself.
Ash pushed off the desk as Lincoln came in. “Right on fuckin’ cue, man.”
The two men shook hands, and I shifted in the chair, not sure if I should announce myself. Finally, Lincoln’s gaze met mine, and his expression changed. Disappointment? Surprise?
“Violet,” he said, his voice coming out in a sigh.
Ash glanced at me and I swallo
wed hard, turning my stare onto my hands.
“Linc’s got a thing with his shoulder,” he explained. “He’s helping out for a while.”
I nodded. “Cool.”
Ash shifted in my peripheral vision and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Ren’ll be along in a minute. If you need anything, just gimme a yell, okay?”
“Okay.” It came out a squeak, and I flinched as the two men left me in the office.
Sighing, I rolled my eyes. Nope, Lincoln would definitely want someone with a pulse in his bed. That counted me out.
Left on my own, I snooped around the office, poking around in the filing cabinet. There were forms and receipts inside that didn’t mean much to me just yet, so I closed it and stood at the window that overlooked the gym downstairs. There was another window to my right that had a nice view of the rooftops and street, but it was inside where my gaze was enraptured. I watched Ash lead Lincoln through the gym, showing him around and introducing him to the guys that were working out on the weights. They must be the fighters that were trying for the AUFC this year.
I only gave them a brief glance before I fixed back onto Lincoln. Remembering what he was like as a teenager, I wondered what it would’ve been like if I’d had the guts to approach him. Would I be different now? Would the same thing still have happened to me? It was hard to say in hindsight. Raising my fingers to my lips, I wondered if I would ever be able to kiss a man again. There was a twinge in my heart, and I pulled myself away from the window with a scowl. Clearly, I was still crushing hard on Lincoln Hayes.
The office door opened, and I jumped as Ren bounded in, wearing short shorts and a Pulse hoodie.
“Sup, Violet,” she declared with a bright smile.
Thankful for the familiarity of Ren, I smiled and pulled up the chair at the computer. “Hey,” I replied as she sat in the chair beside me.
“How do you like the place? You settling in okay?”
“It’s really great,” I said. Because it was. “I haven’t been here long enough to settle.”
