“What? What has happened?” I tried to reach for him but he pulled back from me. “Alexis and I are just friends, Kyran.”
“Why must you be so naïve, Marjorie? Alexis—”
“He kissed me, yes, but he was just being Alexis. It’s my fault he kissed me in the first place.” I felt so stupid for saying that. “Kenny asked me out and I panicked. I told him I was seeing someone and since he saw me arriving with Alexis he assumed I meant him and I…didn’t deny it. Soon the rumor was in everyone’s ears and Alexis…wanted to send a clear message to Kenny, I guess.” True, Kyran and I weren’t official as of yet, but I still felt as if an explanation was in order.
“He didn’t have to kiss you for that.”
Okay, this wasn’t as easy as I thought. “Okay, fine! Maybe not, but it’s not like it matters anyway. Kyran you and I…we aren’t…” I let the sentence drop when I saw the hurt in his eyes. Me and my big mouth!
“You’re right. We are nothing to each other, are we?”
“Kyran, that’s not what I meant.” I was doing a lousy job at trying to explain myself.
“No, you’re right,” he muttered, sounding as hurt as his eyes said he was.
“Kyran…we have never spoken of…dating. We’ve barely seen each other lately.”
“Maybe I’ve been as naïve as you are right now. I thought…I hoped for something that cannot be. I have no chance of ever being with you. I can’t even be this close without thinking about… I can never show you how much I care for you because I’ll end up killing you instead. Having this curse has never weighed as heavily on my shoulders as it does now. I’ll always be like this, and you deserve better.”
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear at all. “Don’t say that!”
“I feel like I’m competing with my brother.”
“There’s no competition.”
He took a step back when I tried to reach for him. “There is a competition and you know what? I will lose.”
“You’re wrong Kyran.”
“This won’t work,” he growled. His eyes reflected so much hurt.
“How do you know it won’t?”
“Because of what I am, Marjorie. That is reason enough for me to know. It will never work out.”
“No! I…”
“Why don’t you understand that it will cause you all a lot of pain in the end? My family spared my life because they love me. They deal with my episodes because they made that choice. But you…you don’t have to, Marjorie.”
Kyran was pacing restlessly just a few feet from me. He remained at a distance, unsure or unwilling to be near me. The fact that I could actually feel him fighting off the need to step closer to me was very frustrating.
“What if I also decided to deal with your episodes because I love you too? What would you say to that?”
His head snapped sideways. He stopped pacing and stood still, looking at me with eyes that were battling to conceal his emotions.
“You can’t love me.” His words were heavy with emotion. “I’ll hurt you.” He took a few steps closer to me. “And that is something I never want to do.”
“Kyran…”
Kyran closed the gap between us quickly, his big hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him. He placed a kiss on my forehead, my cheek, my jaw, and finally my mouth, sealing my lips with his.
Slowly, he led me toward the bed and we both sat, holding hands. “Do you know what I crave more than I do you?”
“What?”
“Death.”
His death was something I didn’t want to deal with, ever. I rose from the bed and took two steps forward, but Kyran reached out and grabbed my wrist to stop me. He pulled on it gently and I spun to meet his eyes.
“My death will mean freedom to my family.” He smiled sadly. “You wouldn’t be in danger and could find someone that could make you happy and love you too.”
“Someone like whom?”
He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Someone like Alexis?”
“He wouldn’t hurt you like I can.”
“Contrary to your belief, Alexis can still hurt me. There is more than one way to get hurt and Alexis could hurt me just as much as you can.”
He stared at me. “Alexis wouldn’t—”
“What makes you think I would even want someone else? Besides, not everything would get fixed with your death. I would still be in danger, if not from you then from the pack that is out to get me. Only the pain of your loss would distract us all, and that’s not a good thing, is it?”
He shook his head in frustration. “I would rather die than cause you any harm.”
That was hands down the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me. “I don’t want you to die, Kyran.”
His eyes were full of uncertainty and I didn’t know what to do or what to say to change that. I took his handsome face in both my hands, leaned down, and kissed him.
Several heart-pounding seconds later he pulled back. “Don’t worry, Marjorie. I’m not brave enough to take my own life.”
Brave enough? “There has to be a way that we can make it work.”
Kyran rewarded me with a sad smile. “There’s no way out of what I am, Marjorie. The only available option is death, and you already told me you don’t want me to die.”
I kissed him again, hoping to relieve some of the bitterness I heard in his voice. A few seconds later I pulled back and said, “I wish real life was like in the movies.” I continued once I saw the confused glance he gave me, “That there was a cure for lycanthropy.”
“There’s no such thing. If there were, I would’ve taken it by now.” He sighed heavily.
“Kyran…”
His eyes lifted once again to meet mine.
“What happened in Iowa?”
He started mentally to pull away from me, I could feel it. Before he could stand, I pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. He gave me a surprised look but didn’t shove me away or try to stop me. I leaned down to kiss him one more time. His hands immediately shot up to encircle my waist. He pulled me down against his body until we were so tightly squeezed together it felt as if we were one person instead of two. I ended the kiss before things got out of hand and pushed myself up so I could look at his face.
“You need to tell me and I need to know.”
“Marjorie…”
The hint of warning in his voice caused me to shiver but I refused to back down. I leaned into him again and kissed him until we were both breathless, then I pulled back and waited. The message was clear: if he didn’t speak I would keep teasing him, and that was dangerous for the both of us.
“Her name was Samantha. She was just a normal human girl like you. Samantha developed a crush on me and that made her easy prey for them.” He closed his eyes and took several long breaths before he continued. “I liked her, she was beautiful and fun to be around. But I had trouble being near her for too long. It spiked the symptoms.”
I felt a sudden twinge of jealousy hit me as I listened to his admission.
“The rogue pack living in Iowa at the time was big, mean, and incredibly vicious. They felt we were encroaching on their territory. They wanted to get rid of us so they devised a plan to ruin the normal life we were struggling to achieve. They started to watch us and sooner rather than later, they discovered my little secret. They knew about Samantha and they knew about my bloodlust. They wanted me to join their pack. They said I didn’t belong with my family. I refused, mainly because I didn’t want to become a monster. When I rejected them they grew angry with me and threatened us.” Kyran closed his eyes.
“What happened?”
“I killed her Marjie, I did it!”
My eyes widened as he said it. “No! You couldn’t have.”
Kyran opened his eyes and stared at me. “But I did, Marjorie,” he said. “I should have stayed away from her but I couldn’t. I let my infatuation get the best of me. I thought she was safe with me because of who I am!” His voi
ce was full of anger and pain. “I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
Feeling dizzy, I scrambled off him and off the bed. I clumsily stumbled over a piece of broken wood from the pile of rubble that was once a nice desk and I fell on my knees next to the bed.
“I told you I’m a monster, and because of me two people lost their lives.”
“Your neighbor?”
“Yes, Mr. Smith.”
I couldn’t believe my ears.
“But…Alexis said that no member of the Rousseau family killed him.”
“It doesn’t matter that none of us lifted a hand to kill them. It was my fault they died and that’s responsibility enough as far as I’m concerned. I brought Samantha home. I got her involved in my life. I got her killed!”
“You mean you didn’t actually kill that girl?”
Kyran rose from his bed and kneeled down next to me. With one finger he traced the path of the tears that had fallen and left a pattern on my cheek.
“I would give my life never to see that look on your face. It is the same look you gave me that day in the barn. I saw myself through your eyes, Marjorie.”
He was hurting because of my reaction? Well, damn, he’d just told me he killed a girl! What reaction was he aiming for? “That’s not fair, Kyran! You led me to believe you killed that girl. Why not tell me the truth once and for all? Why not tell me everything that happened?”
“Maybe one day I will, but not today.”
“But it’s always like this. You guys never tell me anything,” I protested, knowing it wouldn’t do me any good but feeling the need to voice my frustration anyway.
“Right now the truth doesn’t matter. I want…you.”
He took me in his arms so abruptly, I gasped. His irises were a grayish color and I instantly recognized the signal of hunger revealed in his eyes. He kissed me harshly and the difference in that caress warned me to scurry out of the room before he snapped. I started to pull away from him and pushed myself back against his bed, but he followed. Soon he had me pinned to the bed and I had no way to escape.
“Marjorie…” His harsh tone startled me.
An alarm, much like those used for alerting people of an approaching tornado, started to sound at the back of my head. “Kyran—”
He kissed me again, a kiss so passionate it left me breathless and wishing for more. He gripped the back of my neck with one hand and pulled me toward him.
“Kyran…” I needed to snap him out of it but he wasn’t listening to me. He was in a complete trance and I was scared that he wouldn’t be able to stop like he did before. The reality of how much he could change from one moment to the next unsettled me. “Kyran!”
He touched my face gently but there was something very wrong with his caress. “I won’t hurt you, Marjorie.”
Alarm bells set off again. He sounded confused, and not himself.
A sudden knock on the door startled us both, and Kyran immediately rushed back and away from me. He looked like a little kid caught doing something wrong.
“Come in.” His voice sounded loud in the quiet room.
Gage opened the door and stepped inside. “Marjorie, I think Kyran needs some time to himself right now.”
Nodding, I rose from the floor and took several steps toward the door.
“Marjorie?”
I turned to look at Kyran, who was still standing next to the bed. “Yes?”
He crossed the room and kissed me. “I’ll call you later tonight.”
“Okay.”
Gage stayed in the bedroom with Kyran and I knew it was just a precaution to make sure he didn’t follow me out.
Downstairs, Marquis and Simone were busy preparing delicious-smelling food. Wanting to go home and relax, I decided to skip their dinner invitation and asked to be taken home. As it turned out, I had to wait to go home since Alexis wasn’t there. It surprised me that he wasn’t in the house; he never left when I was around.
Ten minutes later he appeared, driving the black Audi. I said my goodbyes to the Rousseau’s and hurried out the front door and into the black car. Alexis said not a single word to me as I climbed inside. I noticed his cut brow and split lip had already healed enough that it was hardly noticeable. However, he still had a very prominent bruise on his jaw.
“Alexis?” He didn’t respond or even look at me. I searched his face but he avoided my eyes. “Alexis?”
When he still wouldn’t respond to me I had no choice but to use a forceful tone.
“Alexis, stop the damn car!”
Startled by my tone of voice, he stared at me for several seconds before he actually did as I bid him. A forceful tone always seemed to work with Alexis.
“What is it, Marjie?” His voice was so low I could barely make out what he said.
“What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you speak to me?”
He kept his eyes glued to the road.
“If you don’t answer me I swear I’ll step out of this car and walk home!”
He smiled then; it was just a half smile, but it was enough for me know he wasn’t entirely mad at me. “I’m not mad, just disappointed.”
“In me?”
He shook his head and turned to look at me. “In me.”
He was disappointed in himself? Why? Wasn’t the awkwardness of an hour ago enough to fill his plate for the day? I didn’t want him to be angry or disappointed; I wanted him to be the same old Alexis. I needed his comforting smile. I felt bad that he’d gotten into an altercation with Kyran because of me.
Slowly, I reached up to touch the bruise on his face. He closed his eyes as my hand roamed the length of his strong jaw. The bruise was quickly disappearing but it was clear evidence of what happened between him and Kyran. Alexis opened his eyes and I saw the once silver irises take on a deeper shade of gray.
“Are you hungry?”
He gave me an amused look and smiled. “You have no idea.”
Confused, I merely gaped at him.
He reached up to grab my hand and brought it to his lips to give it a quick peck before releasing it. “Why do you ask?”
“Because your eyes changed colors.”
He chuckled softly. “I’m not hungry.”
“But I thought you said you were.”
“Our eyes don’t just change colors only when we’re hungry for food, Marjie.”
Embarrassed, I turned away from him and stared out the window. “Oh, I…didn’t…know.” That was a vital bit of information I had been missing. “I would’ve liked to know that earlier.”
“What for?”
“Because all this time I was assuming Kyran’s eye color change was because of bloodlust hunger.”
“Our eyes change colors when we hunger for food and when we hunger for…something else, too. Kyran’s is a mixture of both bloodlust and desire.”
“Oh.” I should have put that together before. Well, I wasn’t entirely off; I mean, Kyran’s eye color did have something to do with hunger. “I’m…totally speechless now.”
Alexis laughed and started to drive toward my house again.
“Alexis?”
“Mmm?”
“I’m sorry about what happened.”
“Hey, it was my fault, remember? Besides, the kiss was completely meaningless.”
Ah, so that was it. That’s what had Alexis so bummed. “Alexis, I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t think you would hear me.”
“It doesn’t matter, Marjie. I know how you feel about Kyran. I promised you I would be there for you and I intend to keep that promise. Besides, we’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Of course we are.”
“Good, now quit worrying about me. I’m fine. Besides, we have to look like the perfectly happy and in love couple when we arrive at campus tomorrow.” Once again, his mouth contorted into a grin, and I couldn’t help but smile at him too.
***
The rest of the night passed by pretty much uneventfully. Kyran called me around nine o’clock just like
he promised. We spoke for hours over the phone and though I couldn’t see him, I got to hear a whole new side of him. Basically, it was a way to keep in touch without actually touching or seeing each other and he was a lot more calm and upbeat when we weren’t in direct contact. This really put things in perspective for me. What future could we have if the only way we could interact with each other was via phone?
The following day resumed its normal routine without any occurrences except for the fact that now Gage, Alexis, and Josephine were hanging out with my other friends whenever I was around. The more they remained beside me, the more the threat of being attacked lessened.
Having them around was a nice change of scenery, especially since I didn’t want my other friends to think that I preferred the Rousseau’s over them. Around campus, everyone actually thought Alexis and I were serious about each other, which apparently didn’t make Kenny very happy. Whenever he thought no one was looking, he glared at Alexis with such contempt it caused me to cringe. He didn’t glare at me that way though; he only smiled every once in a while and averted his eyes whenever Alexis glared back at him.
Another significant change came in the form of Kyran and me being able to spend time together whenever I dropped by for a visit. Of course, the clan of werewolves living in the house supervised the visits. It was really annoying being constantly watched over by a group of worried siblings, but I knew they were being cautious to avoid a major catastrophe. It was even more embarrassing to be caught kissing whenever they would “unintentionally” step inside any room we were in. Trying to be a good sport about everything, I would just shrug and pretend it didn’t bother me, but I could tell it bothered Kyran although he said nothing about it.
On one occasion, I found a perfect excuse to wear my brand new bathing suit. As I was getting ready to stop by the Rousseau household for a visit, Josephine suggested I bring my bathing suit with me. The Rousseau’s decided to celebrate a stress-free week by having a barbecued meal and enjoying a few pool games. The rogues had yet to return to the area, and no recent reports of missing people had us all less worried than before. Although that was no reason to let our guard down, we felt an afternoon of relaxation wouldn’t hurt anyone.
Secrets of the Moon Page 33
