I screwed up my nose and finally turned my head just enough to make eye contact with him for all of a second before glancing forward with a shrug. “A lot of things.” Maybe I didn’t want to talk about this, but I didn’t want him going back to his morose, mopey crap again.
“Like?”
It was my turn to sigh. “I don’t know. Lots of stuff. Jumping out of a plane. Getting a tattoo.” I pointed at the water vaguely. “Heck, go swimming at night. There’s a ton of stuff.”
Aaron paused. “You’re scared of going swimming at night?”
“You saw me jump on top of you when something touched my leg a couple of days ago. I almost cried when you made me hold that first fish, remember? The Loch Ness monster is probably swimming around in the water right now right beside Jaws, ready to get me if I go in.”
Aaron snickered and I found myself smiling more at him sounding like himself than anything. I flicked my gaze to the side, finding him with his arms planted behind him, eyes on me. I looked back at the water. “Nessie isn’t going to get you,” he claimed.
I side-eyed him with a smirk. “You’re on a first-name basis with her?”
“Yeah, what of it?” He nudged me again, and again I kept my attention forward. “Get in the water. Nothing will get you.”
“No.”
“Ruby.”
“Aaron.”
“Get in the water. You say you’re scared, and I know you’re braver than that, so do it.”
I couldn’t help but turn my head to look at him with a crazy expression on my face. “That’s easy for you to say.”
“Why?”
I blinked. “Because you’re probably not really scared of anything.”
Aaron’s head jerked back and he frowned. “I’m scared of enough things.”
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. “Like?”
“I told you. Things I can’t control. Being a failure,” he said.
“You’ll never be a failure, and I can’t control if a giant sea creature swims up to me.”
He sighed again and chose to ignore my first statement. “She’s on the other side of the ocean, and Jaws is way up along the coast. You’ll be fine.”
I scoffed, but Aaron didn’t make a sound. He was too busy looking at me expectantly, like he was waiting for me to see reason and decide that yes I would go in water so dark no one could see anything beneath the surface, because that was logical. But he just kept on staring.
And staring.
And staring a little more.
“Aaron,” I mumbled, tipping my head back to look up at the sky because I couldn’t handle his gaze anymore.
It wasn’t until he swiftly got to his feet and stood up straight that I finally glanced up at him, finding that long body standing over me, his hands going to the hem of his shirt for a moment before he pulled it up over his head and dropped it to the sand without ceremony.
I jerked back, sputtered and glanced at his abs for all of one second before moving my eyeballs to his face. “What are you doing?”
He was watching me as his hands went to the front zipper of his shorts, and he was still watching me as he unbuttoned and unzipped them, tugging them down his legs with a shake of those narrow hips I’d been discreetly eyeing every time he’d been in a bathing suit around me. And just like the first time, and every time, his body was immaculate, even in the moonlight as he stood there in boxers that inadvertently highlighted his long, muscular legs and that spot right at the center of his body that made me feel like too much of a perv if I did more than glance at it quickly.
“Taking off my clothes so I don’t get them wet,” he replied casually, stepping out of his shorts before bending over to pick them up.
“Why would they get wet?” I asked him in a voice even I could tell sounded hysterical, something in me already telling me that I’d dug this grave for myself and knew exactly where he was going with this crap. I was beginning to have second thoughts about wanting to cheer him up if it was at this cost.
“Because I’m going in the water.” He folded his shorts in half and dropped them on top of his T-shirt. “You coming?”
My heart was beating, beating, beating. “No.”
Aaron winked. “Yes.”
My throat clammed up. “Aaron—”
“Come on. We don’t have to go in deep. You can hold my hand.”
I coughed. Sputtered some more. Maybe even gagged a little. “I’d want to hold something more than your hand going into the water—”
Aaron choked. Literally choked. Gasping out, “Jesus, Ru.”
Oh no.
The blood drained from my face. “You know that’s not what I meant!”
His laugh was so rough and loud and happy it made something in me click. “Do I?”
“Yes!”
I didn’t know it was possible for him to laugh louder, but he did.
“I’m going back to the house,” I muttered, not moving.
He dropped his head back and kept on laughing, a hand coming up to rest on the six-pack I was not going to look at. “All right, all right. I’m just messing with you,” he said, chuckling and sounding pretty much delighted, with a long sigh afterward. I narrowed my eyes when he reached up to swipe under his eye. “Come in the water with me and I’ll never bring it up again. Promise.”
I groaned.
“Ruby.”
“Aaron.”
“Come in the water with me,” he insisted, sounding totally back to normal.
I stared at him. “I don’t think so.”
He stared back at me. “You’re going to regret it later when you think about it,” he egged on.
How could I have forgotten how well he knew me?
I scoffed again, ignoring the truth to his words.
“Come on, will you? Just you and me,” he said gently. “Ruron forever.”
Of all the things he could have said, he went with the one that I loved and wanted to hate at the same time. Ruron. Ugh.
What had to be his toes pressed to the side of my foot. “Ruby Cube. You can hold on to whatever you want if we go in. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He had me. He had me big time. And I was pathetic.
Fisting my hands, I groaned in resignation and held back a whine. “Just for… two minutes. Two minutes is all.”
I slid an eye in the direction of the waves gently rolling on to the beach, calm, black, black, black. No part of me wanted to go in there, but… I knew what he was trying to do. He knew what he was trying to do.
But…
I squeezed my hands into fists at my sides and told him the truth in a near croak. “I’m scared.”
He blinked and the next thing I knew, he was dropping into a crouch directly in front of me, his face just above mine. Both his hands went to one of mine, enveloping it in between his. His words were soft and gentle as he brought our palms toward his chest. “I’ll be with you the whole time. You know I wouldn’t just leave you out there to be mean.”
The worst part was, I knew he was telling me the truth. That was something my brothers would do, but not Aaron. Never Aaron. Not if he knew I was genuinely scared, which I was.
“Two minutes, that’s all. I just want you to know there’s nothing to be scared of. It’s past feeding time—”
I stopped breathing.
“Ruby.” His chuckle was low. “There’s more scary shit in the world out there than in the water, but it’s all about how you face the things that you’re not sure about, understand?”
I groaned at his words and the truth in them.
“You understand,” he answered his own question when I hadn’t. “Come on. I won’t leave you. You’re braver than you think.”
I was, wasn’t I? Or at least… I could be. Hadn’t I already shown myself that?
I didn’t want to be that chicken Ruby anymore, even though I might always be. Maybe. I didn’t want to be so scared of things that I actively avoided them. My mom, who had gotten her heart broke
n time after time, relationship after relationship, didn’t stop being scared of falling in love because it hadn’t worked out for her in the past. Besides losing, I couldn’t think of a single thing Jasmine was scared of. They were the two most fearless people I had ever known. I could be like them. We had the same DNA after all.
I didn’t even realize I was getting to my feet until I was on them. I definitely didn’t notice I was pulling off my shirt until it was over my head and I was dropping it on top of Aaron’s pile of clothes. What I did realize, just as my hands went to the elastic band of my shorts, was that Aaron was now standing up once more.
He was watching me. His eyelids were a little hooded and his eyes might have been focused in a dozen different places, but I couldn’t be sure because of the darkness. It was his turn to ask the same question. “What are you doing?”
I tugged my shorts down my legs and did the same shake he had before I stepped out of them. “Getting out of my clothes so I don’t get them wet,” I explained, using his exact same words. “I’m not getting naked.”
Even in the darkness I could tell his throat bobbed. But he didn’t say another word as I set my shorts down on top of the rest of the pile. Nerves and anticipation thrummed through my veins and arms, but screw it, I was going to do it. Two minutes. I could go in there for two minutes.
The breath that came out of my mouth was shaky and weak. “Are you sure I can hold on to anything that I want?”
Aaron raised an eyebrow in a way that had me thinking he was second-guessing his offer.
“All right, don’t forget what you said,” I warned him, taking a step closer to the water. “Let’s get this over with then.”
He kept his gaze on me a second longer before dipping his head just enough for it to be counted as a nod and then took a step forward. I waited until he was at my side to turn to face the water and wade in. His hand hung loosely at his side as we walked side by side, deeper into the cool but not cold water hitting my ankles, my shins, my knees. It wasn’t until the water lapped just over my knee that I shivered and took a half step to the side, closer to him.
I was halfway up to my thigh when I reached over and grabbed his forearm.
“That’s it?” he asked calmly the moment my fingers touched him.
I shook my head, looking down and trying not to freak out when the inky water started to lap at my hip. “Ah, nope.”
“Then what—”
I moved behind him like a ninja, the palms of my hands going to his shoulder blades, absently noticing his skin was warm. The ridges of Aaron’s spine rippled when I touched him, my palms sliding up to straddle each side of his neck. I knew what I was going to do, and I knew it wasn’t exactly what platonic friends did, but he’d said it, hadn’t he? I could grab whatever I wanted.
“Giddy up, cowboy,” I told him all of two seconds before I jumped on his back.
Looking back on it, I should have given him a longer warning or at least a better one.
Because he hadn’t been ready.
He hadn’t been ready.
Otherwise, if he had, I’m sure neither one of us would have fallen face first into the water, me on top of him, flying over him, pretty much somersaulting into a roll that had me snorting water up my nose the second my head dunked into the surface. For one second, I thought I was about to drown, taking way too long to get to my feet before I could shove my upper body out of the water with a gasp like I really had been on the verge of death.
I heard him before I saw him spitting water. “What the hell was that?” he coughed, as I spit out the gulf water I’d just inhaled a gallon of.
Freaking soaked and with my nose and eyes burning, I shivered and crossed my arms over my chest. “I was going to make you give me a piggyback ride,” I tried to explain, still blinking the water out of my eyes so I could see better.
“I could’ve if you’d given me a warning,” he said, laughing easily as he swiped a hand down his face, so much like my Aaron I couldn’t find it in me to regret what had just happened. “My forehead hit the floor and my stomach scraped bottom.”
I shivered again. “I’m sorry. This was a stupid idea. If that’s not a sign I should get out before I get eaten alive, I don’t know what would be.”
Aaron’s hand landed on my forearm before I could take a step toward the shore, and the next thing I knew, that smooth, muscular expanse of his back, with its two little dimples at the bottom, was in my vision. “We’re already wet. Come on.”
I hesitated and Aaron scooted back just a little more so that if I leaned forward just an inch, he’d be right there, pressed up against me.
I could see his profile under the moonlight as he glanced at me over his shoulder. “I can carry you in my arms if you want.”
Aaron carrying me into his arms? Heck yes.
Realistically though, and for the sake of my sanity and feelings, no. Heck no. That was an awful idea.
“No, no, it’s all right,” I said, probably a little too quickly. “Are you ready this time?”
“I would’ve been ready last time if I’d known—”
I didn’t wait after I put my hands on his shoulders and just jumped, again, knees going to the sides of his hips, my forearms locked around his neck so tightly I might have been choking him. Then his own hands were on my butt, and I squeaked as he gave me a boost just a little higher up him.
“Ru, I need to breath before I pass out and we both become shark bait.”
I tried wiggling one of my legs out from around where they were wrapped at his waist, but his palm slapped high up on my thigh.
“Stop. We’ll just go in a little deeper,” he assured me with a snicker.
“Fine,” I mumbled behind him. “But I swear, if we become a shark attack statistic, and it bites me in the face, and the surgeon can’t repair the damage, you’re marrying me so you can look at my face the rest of your life and remember it was your fault.”
He chuckled so quietly as he moved deeper into the water I almost couldn’t hear him. It didn’t take long before we were chest deep in the gulf. The water was hitting me right at my breasts from how high up I was on his back. I could feel him breathing, and I was sure he could feel me breathing and feel my heart beating so fast it almost seemed at capacity.
But I ignored it all. I ignored it all except for the lights coming from the houses on shore when Aaron turned us in a circle. Except for the bright, nearly full moon in the sky illuminating the surface of the glassy water. Except for the feel of Aaron’s solid build in front of me, his hands coming to rest on my calves.
“Nice, hmm?” he asked in a whisper like he was stuck in a trance too.
“Very nice,” I agreed, my mouth just to the side of his ear. “I could get used to this.”
“You’d come in the water by yourself next time?”
I snorted. “Heck no. But if you gave me a piggyback, I’d do it again,” I said, letting my clutch of death go just enough so I could pinch his lean cheek. “Have I told you thank you today for inviting me?”
He made a thoughtful noise. “Not today.”
With my arm back around his neck, I gave him another squeeze and whispered, “In that case, thank you for inviting me.”
And Aaron squeezed my calves as he said right back, “Thank you for coming with me.” And then, “And thank you for writing me for so long.”
This man owned me entirely, and he had no idea. “Don’t thank me for that.”
He turned his head just a little, like he could see me out of the corner of his eye. “Why?”
“Because. Trust me, you helped me out a lot more than I helped you out.”
“Nah.”
“It’s true.”
“No, it’s not,” he argued. “You don’t even know how much I needed your e-mails, Ruby.” There was a pause. “I didn’t even know how much I needed your e-mails.”
I almost gushed sugar out of my mouth, and I definitely had to ignore the warm sensation in my stomach reminding me I
was in love with him. I had no business thinking that, especially not when there were so many things he couldn’t tell me. “You had like two other families, too. Don’t give me all the credit. I know how it is.”
Fingertips grazed my calves and I felt him sigh beneath me. “No, you don’t, and I hope you never do,” he said in a voice that sounded resigned or sad, or maybe both. “There are so many things you see and hear that you can never forget or get out of your head, no matter how much you try. It wasn’t until you that I heard myself laugh, Ruby.” That perfect profile tipped to the side and I saw the corner of his eye peeking at me. “You don’t know what that means to me.”
I sniffed, touched by his words, and so freaking in love with this guy I wanted to make a potion that would make him fall in love with me so I could keep him forever. I’d keep spiking him for the rest of my life if I could. All so I could have him.
But that wasn’t the way these things worked, unfortunately.
Instead, I hoped he could tell the difference in the way I had my arms around him and that he could notice I was trying to hug him instead of cling to him for dear life, and I said with my mouth real close to his ear, “You’re the best, Aaron not an asswipe.”
I was pretty sure that if anyone had been standing out on their deck that night, they could have heard us both laughing.
Chapter 20
It was stupid to think it, but I woke up feeling different the next morning.
Maybe different wasn’t the correct word to use, but I felt…
I don’t know how the heck I felt exactly. After spending a lot more than two minutes out in the water, clinging onto Aaron like a spider monkey, something in me seemed changed. Maybe that was the thing about doing things you hadn’t thought you could do, you realized that maybe you weren’t who you’d always thought you were. There was more to me than even I’d thought there was. Despite everything I thought I’d learned the day before, I felt happier, more at peace, just… better, even though I was really tired after only sleeping five hours.
Dragging myself to the bathroom that morning, I showered quickly and headed upstairs, yawning nonstop. With my usual bottle of water in hand, I made my way to the balcony and tried to clear my mind as much as possible. I tried to think of the things that made me happy and the way the air smelled. I tried to think of anything but Aaron.
Dear Aaron Page 33
