by K. Ryan
At least the stringy, greasy hair was long gone. But his cheeks were more hollow and his clothes hung more loosely on his body than before. He wasn't the same person I remembered even from I started working at the shop three weeks ago. That person clearly left the building the same time Ariel did.
"Jesus Christ," Lexie muttered under her breath. "Please don't tell me he's going to take both of them back to his room."
There wasn't much I could say or do other than whole-heartedly agree.
"I just still can't believe she did that," Lexie continued, fire seeping into her eyes as she spoke. "I just never thought that she would...that she would actually leave him, especially not like that."
The words just came tumbling out before I could stop them: "Do you really think she would've changed her mind though?"
Now I just wanted to clamp my hand over my stupid, thoughtless mouth. If I was lucky, I might be able to actually call Lexie a friend and here I was, running my mouth about things I had no idea about, things that were painful, things that had obviously caused Lexie a lot of pain. After all, Caleb wasn't the only person Ariel abandoned, but I doubt if Ariel even really considered that notion when she'd left Claremont in her rearview mirror. She didn't deserve that much credit.
And even though plenty of assorted curses were reserved for Ariel here at the clubhouse, that still didn't mean it was acceptable to say it out loud, especially not when the two people her abandonment affected the most were standing within earshot.
But yet, despite my outburst, no flashes of anger, disappointment, or frustration crossed Lexie's face. There was just nothing on her face but sadness.
"I ask myself that everyday, you know?" Lexie finally answered, even though it came out barely above a whisper. "I asked her to be maid of honor and everything. Sometimes I wish I could just take that back. Then he wouldn't have to see her again in a few months."
"If you don't mind me asking...do you ever talk to her? I mean, is she at least still talking to you if not...?" I wasn't sure if I was overstepping here, but I just couldn't stop myself from asking and I didn't really know why I even cared in the first place.
Lexie just shrugged and sighed heavily. "I got a few phone calls, a couple of texts, things like that right after she left. Now? Not so much. I guess she's off putting her new life together in the big city."
"I'm sorry."
There wasn't much else to say because even though Lexie hadn't said it, the pain of losing her best friend was evident in her swimming brown eyes. Ariel hadn't just left one person devastated in her wake. Right about now, it seemed like a ten-car pile-up of destruction. The selfishness of Ariel to just take off like that when her best friend needed her the most—first baby, getting married—those were situations I couldn't imagine going through without Becca.
"Don't worry about it," Lexie was saying now. "What's done is done. Other than getting her skinny ass back here for my wedding, she's never coming back."
Movement flashing from across the clubhouse's main floor caught both our attention. Caleb and his newly-formed harem were making their way through the crowd, clearly headed towards his dorm room. The problem was, in their effort to get to Caleb's dorm as quickly as possible, their path had them on a shortcut directly past Lexie and me.
Caleb sauntered lazily towards us, both arms draped around the redhead and brunette's shoulders to keep himself upright. As they ambled closer, the glassy, dazed look in Caleb's eyes sent a cold shiver down my spine.
Yeah, that looked familiar.
Lexie was already shaking her head in disgust when Caleb and his future bedmates were only a few feet in away. That movement must have caught his attention because his steps skidded to a halt, nearly bringing the two equally drunk ladies down.
"Oh, hey, Lex," Caleb slurred, a lazy, barely cognizant smile slipping across his features. "How's it goin'?"
Lexie blew out an exasperated breath and clenched her jaw. "Oh, hi. Looks like your night is off to a great start."
Caleb clearly missed the sarcasm in her voice—the disoriented, sleepy expression on his face said as much—and he just nodded with a shit-eating grin.
Looks like he's at least coherent enough to know he's about to get laid. Nice.
His lips parted when his gaze landed on me long enough to finally realize I was standing there too. "Hey, Iz—shit, I mean, Isabelle. I didn't think you were comin' tonight."
I just shrugged, not wanting him to stand there with his arms wrapped around two barely-clothed women any longer than necessary. "I guess I changed my mind."
Teetering unsteadily on his feet, he managed to nod. "Cool."
He stood there for a moment longer, just enough to make me feel uncomfortable, until the redhead tugged impatiently on the arm draped around her shoulder and motioned with her head towards the hallway.
"See ya, Lex. Later, Isabelle," he called out over his shoulder as the girls led him away and down that dark hallway.
After a few moments of staring at the empty space left behind by Caleb, Lexie shook her head again in complete frustration. There really wasn't anything left to be said and truth be told, Caleb's little appearance had really sucked any fun out of the night I might've had. Lexie shifted anxiously next to me and I turned to see her tugging a hand through her dark hair in exasperation.
"Well," Lexie exhaled. "I'm not sure my night could get any worse than that. Might as well quit while I'm ahead. I'm think I'm gonna go find Dom and see if he can take me home."
"Sure," I nodded.
Right about now, I really wished there was a way I could follow Lexie's lead.
Unfortunately, I'd miscalculated how this night was going to go and actually let Becca drive us there. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
I figured Lexie and Dominic would probably give me a ride if I asked, but I didn't want to come off looking like some needy, helpless girl they used to know in high school.
"Hey, you know, I was thinking," Lexie leaned in closer to me so I could hear her. "We should go out for lunch sometime. Do some shopping, something like that. What do you think?"
I didn't need any time to consider my answer. "Yeah, absolutely. Maybe sometime next week?"
"Sure," she nodded excitedly. "I can pick you up during your lunch break. I usually come during Dom's break, but he'll get over it."
After we exchanged numbers, Lexie leaned forward and whispered in my ear: "Don't stay too long, alright? If you need a ride or something, just text me and we can bring you home."
Then Lexie was gone and I was on my own.
In the clubhouse.
Fun.
A few spilled drinks later and I was officially ready to leave. Stickiness seemed to saturate every inch of my clothes and my skin and even in a crowded room full of sweaty people, I just felt cold. What I really needed right now was a pair of pajamas, a blanket, a good book, and maybe a fireplace, but that wasn't happening anytime soon.
It wouldn't do me any good to go looking for Becca either; I knew I'd get a text message when Becca and Eli were, ah, finished. Seeing as how they'd been gone about an hour already, I probably had some more time to kill.
People were drinking, laughing, dancing, playing pool, and just having a good time. Well, everyone was having a good time but me. I guess I had no one to blame for that but myself, too. Becca was in a room somewhere doing God knows what with her boy toy. Caleb was in a room somewhere doing God knows what with those two skanks.
So why the hell was I standing here, all by myself, and feeling like crap?
And now, I was pissed.
How many times had I seen the same old song and dance from Caleb? Get falling down wasted, bang some random chick, pass out, and repeat. That seemed to be his life now and who could actually be happy living like that?
It had only been two weeks since Ariel left and his nights were just a revolving door of nameless girl after nameless girl. Each empty hookup sunk him another inch further into the sandpit he was already waist-
deep in.
I saw enough of that with my dad and I didn't need to see that here, too. Not when it was a Friday night and I was supposed to be letting loose and having fun for once in my life and not when I was supposed to be preoccupied with figuring my own life out, too.
Worrying about someone else's wasn't exactly on my to-do list tonight or ever.
If I was being completely honest with myself, the worse part was that it seemed like Caleb was with a different girl every night. That really shouldn't bother me. It was his business, his life to screw up, his dirty laundry.
Did it bother me because he was slowly killing himself? Because the endless cycle of empty sex was so far removed from anything I would ever do? There were a few other options darting around in my head, but I didn't want to touch those with a 10-foot pole.
Ugh.
Regardless, I was sick of watching this sad show play out. Suddenly, the air in the clubhouse felt thick and stuffy. It was goddamn stifling. I just couldn't stand to be in this room another minute. Not when I knew exactly what was happening just a few rooms away.
My tired feet carried me through the crowd and pushed me outside the clubhouse doors. The cool breeze hit my face and I finally felt like I could breathe. Now that I had some space, the suffocation I'd been struggling to smother didn't feel like such a menace.
There was a crowd of people inside, many of whom I worked with on a daily basis, and here I was, happier outside and alone.
If that wasn't antisocial, then I didn't know what was.
The clubhouse doors creaked behind me and I whirled around to find Caleb, alone, stumbling out onto the pavement with unsteady feet. His eyes were focused intently on the lighter in his hands and he struggled for a few moments to bring his cigarette to the flame.
Then he inhaled deeply, blowing out the smoke through his nostrils, as he ambled further down the clubhouse's walkway.
When his eyes finally shifted away from the pavement and to where I stood a few feet away, Caleb's cloudy blue eyes widened as his brain finally seemed to catch up to him. He fumbled around in his pockets, trying to shove the lighter away, and promptly stomped the cigarette out on the pavement in front of him.
He'd done that every time we'd been around each other since I'd not-so-nicely asked him not to blow his smoke in my face, but that still didn't erase the rest of the night's events. And I was tired and my feet hurt from these stupid heels I'd tried to squeeze into and I just wanted to crawl into my bed and forget everything and everyone.
In other words, I was in no mood for his crap tonight.
"That was quick," I bit out.
He just shrugged and shoved his hands into his front pockets. "Yeah, well, I guess it was a pretty poor showing on my part."
"I'm sure Thing 1 and Thing 2 are crying into their beers right now."
His eyebrows rose in amusement and a grin twisted into his lips as he shuffled closer to me. Wait a minute, that wasn't exactly the reaction I was going for. The closer he got, the more my heart thundered anxiously in my chest.
For a moment, that glassy look in his eye veered towards something else—not exactly threatening, but not exactly friendly either. And that did nothing for my nerves because he just kept coming closer.
Caleb's whole body suddenly seemed to jerk backwards like he'd just smacked into an invisible wall and his knees buckled underneath them. Instinct sent my arms immediately out to his shoulders to keep him steady on his feet and just as it felt like he'd regained his balance, his head jerked forward and his stomach emptied violently out in front of him.
All over my studded stilettos.
Wow. Karma really was a big, fat bitch.
There wasn't much I could do but jump into damage control mode as he sunk lower, still heaving, and a last second shift of our weight was the only thing that kept us both from sliding down into the mess he'd just made all over the grass. And on my studded stilettos.
With a wince, I kicked off my ruined shoes and turned my attention back to the more pressing matter at hand.
"Shit," Caleb panted as he gasped for air, his hands fisted into his knees. "Sorry, Iz, I—"
Another rush of vomit interrupted those words and I had to look away, grimacing as he heaved out into the grass. All I could do was hold his shoulders and hope it was helping. At some point, I found myself rubbing a hand on his leathered back until he came up for air, his head still hovering in between his knees.
"Fuck my life," he sputtered and I winced again as he spit into the grass a few more times.
He straightened up a little bit, but I kept my hands firmly glued to his shoulders just in case. After he wiped his mouth and his watering eyes, he was standing completely upright with both hands scrubbing across his face.
"Caleb," I started softly. One hand fell from his face at the sound of my voice. "Let's get you back inside. Should we go through the front door or...?"
He immediately shook his head, still teetering a little too unsteadily on his feet.
"There's a back door," he mumbled in between deep inhales. "You don't have to...you don't have to do anything. I'll be fine. I'll just go find Dom or somethin'."
Even as he spoke, his knees started to buckle again and my arms shot out to his chest to help him balance his weight.
"Dominic took Lexie home a little while ago, so it looks like you're stuck with me," I whispered loudly, grabbing hold of his arms to keep him upright. "Come on, let's go. Just try to stay on your feet, okay? You go down, I go down."
Somehow, he managed to chuckle under his breath in spite of our current predicament and swung an arm around my waist to balance himself. When his fingers brushed the space between my tank top and my jeans, way too close for comfort, I grabbed his hand and shoved it back up my waist.
"I swear to God, Caleb," I muttered harshly because I was really not appreciating the turn this had taken. "If your hands move any lower, I will punch you in the face."
His hands immediately shot up in defense, his bloodshot eyes wide with surprise. "No touching. Got it, Iz. I promise."
This was going to be a long night.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Iz
Caleb
Puking my guts out on the sidewalk and all over Isabelle's shoes had, at the very least, sobered me up pretty quickly. Splashing some cold water on my face helped too and now I was standing in my bathroom, hands splayed over the sink, staring into the mirror.
Hell if I even recognized the reflection staring back at me. This entire night was a new low and that was really saying something.
First, I'd gotten so plastered I could barely see two feet in front of me, then I hadn't been able to keep it up for Elena and her friend, or Thing 1 and Thing 2, as Isabelle had so aptly called them, and now this—throwing up all over Isabelle's feet.
Honestly, I've never felt so ashamed in my entire life. And here I thought I'd hit rock bottom a long time ago.
Shows what I know. Christ.
Thank God I'd been coherent enough to remember the back entrance otherwise the entire club would've been witness to this, too. I'd had to rely heavily on Isabelle's much smaller frame to get myself through the door and into my dorm, which was pretty damn shameful.
Now she was waiting for me out in my room and all I wanted to do was just crawl down onto the cold floor and shut everything else out. And maybe throw up again.
She didn't have to do what she did tonight. She could've easily just left me out there to my own pathetic devices, but she'd practically pushed me into the clubhouse herself. There were clearly better things she could've been doing with her night and that made me just want to hide even more. But I figured I owed it to her to get my ass out of this bathroom after everything she'd dealt tonight with because of me.
When I cracked the bathroom door open, she was shuffling through some trash on my desk. Damn, I really needed to do a better job of cleaning this hole up.
"Hey, I was just looking for a cup or something to get you some water," sh
e held up a coffee mug with a sheepish grin.
"Sure."
I stepped aside as she slid past me towards the sink. When my shins hit the side of the bed, something told me that sitting on my bed right now would be the wrong choice. I'd literally just had not one but two girls in this same bed and here I was now with yet another one in my bathroom. It didn't even matter that nothing much had happened with those two girls tonight.
Because the two circumstances were so wildly different, my stomach churned just at the thought of Isabelle coming anywhere near this bed. So I slid down to the floor until I was resting sort of comfortably with my back against the edge of my bed.
A water-brimmed coffee mug appeared in front of my face and after I took it from her, I patted the ground next to me, my eyebrows lifting at her understandable indecision.
Isabelle shifted a little from side to side, like she was weighing whether or not this was a good idea. Truth be told, as much as my head was pounding right now, I just didn't want to be alone. I'd been alone, really in every sense of the word, for the last two weeks and found myself needing her company tonight more than anything inside the clubhouse.
There was something about her that I couldn't put my finger on, something about the conversations we'd had that made me feel...something.
Maybe it was just because I knew more personal details about her than I probably really knew about anybody—real pain and real loss—and that she'd come out of it on the other side. Maybe I just needed to see the evidence for myself that things would eventually get better for me, too.
And I really, really needed her to sit down right now.
Finally, she dropped down next to me, careful to keep a safe distance away, which was just fine because that wasn't what this was about.
