She moved abruptly to the right then feinted to the left, her image in the mirror doing the same. Like a mirror image should do. She stumbled back against the wall, her breath labored and panicked, as the black spots began to form in the back of her eyes. She closed her eyes and struggled to control her breathing. In through her nose, then out through her mouth. She would not black out or suffer a seizure!
Opening her eyes, she found that her reflection was ordinary. One green eye, one grey. She sighed in relief. Or was it disappointment? There were too many unanswered questions. She needed answers, and she needed them right now.
Chapter 8
Kratos stood outside of the bedroom door, his body was tight and rigid as his hands brutally gripped the intricately carved wood moldings surrounding the door above his head. The cracking of the wood prompted him to let go to resume the pacing he had been doing on and off for the past hour, as if he were a caged animal. Or to be exact, a caged animal in heat. His restraint was in shreds. He knew her exhaustion would make her mind vulnerable, and he knew that giving her such an erotic reverie was wrong. He didn’t care and couldn’t help himself. He needed her. He wanted her. It had been too long without her. The many times he fantasized about their reunion, he never once thought his control would shatter for her and he never once thought his heart would ache when she looked upon him as if he was a complete stranger. He rubbed his hand absently across his chest, as if he could rub away his despair. He couldn’t remember the last time he experienced such a loss of control over his emotions. Or any emotions for that matter. She was the only one to instigate such feelings.
He thought about her standing in the snow demanding answers. Her cheeks were flushed, chin held high despite her obvious fear. Raking his fingers through his hair he could see why his liege was so captivated and fascinated by mortals, especially mortal women. Their free will and deep-seeded instinct to experience a life worth living created a passion and drive to live their life to its fullest extent. Her wary eyes, shaky hands, and flushed skin reminded him that mortality had an end and he was envious. She was gifted with the opportunity to experience mortality and immortality, and she didn’t remember her immortal self. He chuckled in self deprecation; sometimes the Gods can be too cocky for their own good.
He found himself standing in front of the bedroom door again, fists clenching and unclenching at his side. He was selfish, he knew it. He should feel ashamed, but he didn’t. The reverie was not just to awaken her, it was for the sheer pleasure of tasting her skin and hearing her breaths quicken from his touch, even if it was only experienced through a vivid dream. It would hold him over. For now.
The only thing he did do that was remotely appropriate was that he let her see his wings. It was risky, but worth it. The after glow of their reverie sex had relaxed her, creating an open mind that accepted his wings with little issue. Just because he had wings, didn’t mean he was an angel, and he certainly wasn’t feeling angelic at the moment. He shoved his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends, as he groaned at his temporary abuse of power. His desire for her made all honorable thoughts and his directive to keep her safe, evaporate in an instant.
By the Gods, he missed her! He needed her to remember herself and him. He needed her back.
He walked over to the large windows lining the expanse of one wall of his apartment, a sudden pit of despair settling in his gut. How would he make her remember? If she did remember, would her feelings be as they were so long ago?
What were her last words to him? He pinched the bridge of his nose, as the memory of her voice trickled through his mind. I will always remember my heart. She had pressed her hand to his naked chest as his heart beat with rhythmic force against her warm palm. He was her heart and now, she had no idea who he was. He rolled his eyes closed on a groan of helplessness. She had to remember. He did. He remembered every nuance of her, from the taste of her salty sweet skin right down to her husky laughter.
Maybe reorientation to herself would be easier then they originally thought. The next couple of hours would be crucial to her recovery. He wondered, how would she react once she heard what had happened? Would she remember her immortal self? Would she want to? Would he want her to? He slammed his palms against the glass windows when he realized he was in quite a jam. He wanted her to remember what they shared together as immortals but he didn’t want to lose the mortal Evie. Why couldn’t he have them both? They would, after all, eventually only be one, wouldn’t they?
Chapter 9
Whipping open the bedroom door, she was not surprised to find Kratos waiting on the other side. His face seemed deceptively calm, his clenched jaw the only indication that he was not as calm as he appeared.
“We need to talk. Now.” She said as she held the door handle. He walked towards her, causing her to step back. He Stopped within inches of her and studied her eyes as she held her breath.
“I agree.” Placing his hand in front of him, palm up he asked, “Ready?”
She looked from his hand, and then searched his face, finding that a muscle was now twitching in his clenched jaw. “No,” she answered, her brow furrowed with suspicion. He dropped his hand and raised his eyebrows in question.
She stepped away as his large frame blocked her way out of the room. “Do you know what the hell just happened to me in the shower?” She crossed her arms in front of her, the action giving her a feeble sense of safety. His face became a mask of impassivity as he clasped his hands behind his back.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Holding out his hand once more, he avoided her eyes as he waited for her to take his hand. “Come, I can take you to someone who will give you answers if you just take my hand.”
“Give me answers? I just asked you a question and you wouldn’t answer it. Tell me the truth. Do you know about our little sex scene, or whatever that was, in the shower?” Her hands dropped to her sides as her chest heaved from a mixture of anger and fear. A cold sweat blossomed upon her skin. “Tell me!” she screamed.
“No. I can’t tell you. “His refusal was too quick; his sudden aloofness caused her dread to slowly trickle to the surface. He turned his head away, but not before she caught his wince in response to her tirade. He didn’t deny that it happened, he refused to tell her.
Shit. He knew.
Her cheeks hot, she pressed her palms to them. She was embarrassed because he knew about her sexual daydream tryst with him, and she was even more embarrassed because she enjoyed every minute of it and wished it was a reality. Hot tears of shame and anger burned their way into her eyes. Blinking back the tears, her voice was husky, “I don’t know how, but you know what happened. I know you do.”
His sympathetic tone was too much for her. “Evie…” Her name said with such care sent her over the edge. She pushed past him and ran to the front door as hot tears distorted her vision. Throwing it open she heard him call her name as she ran to the elevator. Her tears streamed down her face, blurry vision making it difficult for her to see the buttons to the elevator. Please don’t follow me she repeated like a mantra over and over again. The dinging sound indicated that the elevator door was about to open when she heard his footfalls behind her. Ignoring him, her nervous energy boiled to the surface as she stepped from side to side. Wringing her hands, she avoided eye contact with him.
The elevator doors opened as his soft plea reached her ears, “Evie, please listen to me.” She walked into the elevator and pressed the lobby button, as he stood before the elevator doors as they closed. Just before they shut, she thought she saw a glimmer of emotion pass his face. He looked…hurt. As the elevator descended, she paced the confining space, swiping the sweat from her brow.
She mumbled to herself, “I can’t handle this,” as the muted ripple of her reflection stilled while her body was still in nervous motion. She tried to ignore the anomaly; she would not acknowledge it which would mean it wasn’t really happening. You need to trust him a calming voice whispered. Did she hear it in the e
levator, or in her head?
“I’m certifiably insane.” she mumbled, as the elevator door opened to reveal Kratos in the exact same spot as he was when she left him. Didn’t the elevator go down when she pressed the button?
“Evie listen…” she hit the elevator close button repeatedly, the back of her hand burning from the force of her blows. Pressing the arrow up, she listened to the bell that represented each floor. The elevator door opened again to reveal Kratos standing before her. Stepping between the doors, His large frame blocked them from closing while he held his hand out to her.
Pressing her arm to her belly, her breath rushed out as if someone punched her in the gut. “How can you be on every floor?” Heart racing, a cold sweat trickled down her back and between her breasts as she pressed back against the elevator and slid to the floor. “How?” She repeated as she pulled her knees up and buried her head, the rhythmic swish of her blood indicated the possibility of passing out.
She tried to control and focus on her breathing while her body rebelled, each breath a struggle. “I’m so confused.” Her voice was shaky, as she listened to his movements in the elevator. Realizing he was lifting her, she looked up at him while he cradled her in his arms.
His brow was furrowed with concern as he whispered, “Evie, please trust me. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” Walking out of the elevator, he brought her back to his apartment and placed her on the couch. Sitting on the coffee table across from her, he leaned toward her and pressed his forehead to hers, forearms braced on his knees as he waited for her panic to subside.
Chapter 10
His calm voice broke the silence, “Are you ready?” Kratos carefully took her cool hand in his and pulled her up with care. Her hands in his, she realized then that she could not visualize anything about his life. She only felt peace and…safe. She walked with him to the elevator and as he pushed the button up he gave her a reassuring, but tight smile while he squeezed her hand.
As they waited for the elevator, the silence was unnerving. “Why do I feel safe with you, as if I know you, when I know that I have never met you before?” When he looked into her eyes she thought she saw pain and anguish, and somehow knew that she was connected to it in some way. He didn’t answer her. He just looked into her eyes for a moment until the elevator reached them.
As the elevator doors opened on a ding, they stepped in together. He pushed the one hundredth floor and stepped back as the doors of the elevator closed. Evie blew out a breath, the air pushing the stray tendrils of hair from her forehead. He looked over at her and raised an eyebrow in question.
“I’ve never been this high up before.” she answered his silent question while he smiled at her.
She had to ask him what was burning in her mind. Clearing her throat, she blurted out, “I experienced a strange dream like episode in the shower. We had sex. I thought you were responsible for it and I lost my temper.” The admission was a relief, but embarrassing. Unable to look at him as the elevator continued its ascent; she held her breath waiting for his response as their blurry reflections appeared restless in the partially reflective elevator doors.
“Really.” A statement rather than a question, his response caused her heart to flutter. He gazed at her, his eyes burning with unnatural light as they heatedly traveled the length of her. On a tremulous sigh, she clenched her thighs together in response to his carnal perusal.
“It was really good.” She softly answered, her face reddened. Why was she telling him? She opened her mouth to admonish herself, when suddenly; he was before her, his warm finger pressing against her full lips, her silence immediate.
“Don‘t say anymore. I can only handle so much before I give in to my baser instincts and seduce you for real.” his response was savage. As he swallowed, his neck muscles strained. “There is a fine thread of moral conscience that is keeping me from taking you right here, right now. If that thread breaks…may the gods help us both.” the last said in a savage whisper as his thumb caressed her bottom lip.
His body consumed the elevator as the distant ding of each floor registered in her head. Her nipples hardened, as if they were straining against the fabric to press against his chest. Whenever she was around him, she felt an urgency she couldn’t explain. Shoving at his granite hard chest, she needed some space for her mind to clear. An unyielding mass of muscles confined into a small space, he barely moved. She broke their sexual tension by side-stepping away from him. The movement made her feel bereft for some reason.
As the elevator slowed to a stop, butterflies began to flutter nervously in her stomach. This was it. She was about to get answers to questions she had rhetorically asked of herself at various times in her life. The doors opened on a ding, and Kratos guided her out into a long and generic looking hallway. The carpeting was beige and the walls were a pale blue. At the very end of the hallway stood a single, beautifully carved brass door that was completely out of place compared to the sterile and generic appearance of the hallway. Like a beacon, she felt drawn to it and could not stop herself from walking towards it and turning the ornate door knob. Once she pushed it open, she hesitantly glanced in Kratos’ direction. He placed his hand on her lower back and gently guided her into the room.
Evie was amazed at the size and beauty of the white marble room. Her feet froze in wary suspicion as she glanced at the floor to find that the marble of the floor swirled and churned like the eye of a perfect storm. Looking, again to Kratos for reassurance, he nodded his head for her to continue. She stepped with hesitance onto the floor as he leaned into her and supported her elbow.
“It’s safe to walk upon. It won’t swallow you up.” She looked up at him to see a faint twinkle in his eyes and realized he was comforting her as well as making fun of her fear. She rolled her eyes at him, feeling a modicum of relief.
“So you say.” she mumbled, as they continued into the storm-like structure.
It was enormous, bigger than Kratos’s apartment and impossible to be accurate in size in comparison to the building. The improbability of it was not lost on her as she shook her head in absent-minded amazement. The lines of endless windows on one side were covered by flowing, gauzy white curtains that were billowing gracefully and silently as a result of a crisp but light breeze. Trying to keep pace with him, she hurried along, as his hand gripped hers. She was in awe at the purity and brightness of the place. Veering to his left, Kratos’s silent steps stopped a few paces from a woman sitting in a lone chair in the illogical and open expanse of the apartment. The woman turned her head towards Evie and smiled at her.
“Hello sweetheart. How are you feeling? I hope you have not experienced anymore seizures.” Thelma stood, holding her hand out to her.
Evie was surprised, her mouth dropping open. “Mom?” running toward her and grasping her shoulders, Evie hugged her mother tight and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. She was real. Her mother was here. Evie laughed and hugged her again.
“Oh mom, thank God. I thought I was losing my mind.” She felt a moment of relief, before it turned to confusion.
“Wait. Why are you in this apartment building and why do you not seem overly surprised about this whole bizarre situation?” Evie stepped back, eyes wide as she looked from Kratos to her mother and back again.
“Did you tell her anything?” Thelma’s voice sounded…different, as if a soft tinkle followed each syllable she uttered.
“I thought that you and he should talk to her.” Kratos nodded in the direction of the ceiling. Evie glanced up to find an enormous Eagle staring down upon her as its feathers ruffled in the light breeze, its head cocked to the side in rapt curiosity. A soft chirp sounded from the majestic bird as it adjusted its grip on the snowy white rafters, its talons side-stepping back and forth in a restless dance.
Evie breathed in through her nose and then out through her mouth, a common practice over the past few days. There was a large bird of prey, easily the same size as her if not bigger, sitting above her and starin
g at her. She turned her owl-wide eyes to her mother and simply stated, “I think I need to sit down.” Kratos gently shoved a chair behind her and pressed her shoulders into it. Where he had gotten it she did not know or care at the moment, as she flopped ungracefully into it.
She gestured to the seat her mother stood by, “Have a seat, mom. We should talk, don’t you think?” weak irritation laced her voice.
“She seems to be able to control her anxiety. This is good, Kratos.” Thelma sat on the edge of the chair, her body language that of a queen on her throne as she waited for the inevitable questions.
“What’s going on and…who are you?” Evie looked away from her mother as she said the last, the idea that her mother was someone other than who she seemed to have been throughout her life made eye contact difficult.
“I’m your mother for one thing, that you can be sure of, Evie. I‘m just not…mortal. My given name is Themis.” Her mothers answer given in a fleeting moment of anger was immediately replaced with concern as she watched Evie‘s shoulders sag in exhaustion and confusion.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to believe or think anymore.” Sighing in frustration, she continued, “I feel like I’m losing my mind, but yet…” Her voice trailed off as she looked again at the large predatory bird as it paced back and forth on its perch. Evie heard her mother murmur ‘not yet’ as the bird chirped again. Louder this time, more insistent.
“But yet what, sweetheart?” Thelma looked expectantly at her, than to Kratos and back again.
Leaning back in her chair, Evie scrubbed her palms over her face and rested them on her nape. She winced when she realized she had been holding her shoulders up in ridged anxiety for what seemed like hours. Rolling her shoulders, she stretched and stared into the depths of the swirling miasma of mist that consumed the floor. Her mother was not mortal?
The Allotter:The Threads of Destiny Page 7
