by Kim Lawrence
She didn’t want him to pursue this topic. If he realised how false his assumption about Simon was, it was conceivable he might guess how desperate she was to conceal the strength of her true feelings. So far she’d thankfully hidden her insecurity and ambiguous feelings behind his stupid misconception.
‘In this condition that’s one thing you won’t have to worry about.’ Her hand went to the firm mound of her belly. ‘I’m as attractive as a stranded whale right now.’
The gesture drew his quickening gaze to her body. ‘Were you angry with me when you found out?’
‘Angry?’ She looked at him blankly.
‘You had your future so neatly planned; a child hardly fits in. It would only be natural for you to blame me.’
‘Are you trying to get me to say I don’t want this child so that you can take over?’ she asked angrily.
He made an impatient noise in his throat. ‘I know you want the child!’ he said. ‘I’m well aware that it’s me you don’t want, but that subject is not open to debate. In ideal circumstances a child should not be the result of a careless moment, but we’re not living in an ideal world.’
‘How profound,’ she snapped. ‘Does it say anything in your book of sage observations about what to do when the father of your child doesn’t even exist? Callum Smith never did. I spent the night in question with him. The way I see it my baby doesn’t have.a father.’
‘Immaculate conception it was not,’ he retorted with a feral grin and a glint of hard anger in his eyes. ‘I should have told you who I was; we should have used precautions . . .’
‘I should have slammed the door in your face the first time I saw you.’
‘Point being, you didn’t... I didn’t and we didn’t,’ he ground out harshly. ‘I assumed you were protected; though, to be frank, I can’t be sure if it would have made any difference.’ His twisted smile held self-derision. ‘When it comes down to it our carnal instincts can still master the most sophisticated of us when the attraction is as basic as it is between us. I should have checked to find out if you were pregnant. It was always a possibility.’ He brushed back his hair in a distracted manner and frowned.
‘It didn’t seem fair to ask you to take responsibility...’ she began, surprised by the self-recrimination in his manner. She felt she owed it to him to be as blunt as he was.
‘Why, for God’s sake?’ he exploded. ‘It’s my fault!’
‘We’re almost total strangers...you despise me. How could I come to you and tell you I was pregnant and you were the father? I didn’t think you’d believe me.’
‘Is that really what you thought?’
‘It’s the truth, Callum,’ she said quietly.
‘The truth is, I don’t know how I’d have reacted, but you didn’t give me the opportunity to find out. You didn’t give either of us the opportunity. I know you don’t think much of me but surely you don’t believe I wouldn’t have accepted responsibility?’
‘I didn’t feel like being a complication in anyone’s life. For me this baby isn’t a complication, it’s a blessing,’ she said huskily. I don’t want obligation, she wanted to shriek; I want love!
‘What happened to your ambition?’ he asked, watching her expressions with disturbing interest.
‘I know you have me pegged as a devious tramp but if you’d ever bothered to ask I’d have told you my ambitions are no more than healthily normal. I’m certainly not prepared to sacrifice my personal life to achieve them.’
‘Didn’t you do just that when you lost your boyfriend to a more obliging female?’
‘That,’ she said firmly, ‘was his problem, not mine.’ She had gained a clearer perspective on that whole miserable affair lately. ‘A husband who feels threatened by his wife’s abilities,’ she pondered thoughtfully, ‘I can do without.’
‘I just love your modesty,’ Callum mused, leaning back in his chair and regarding her with narrow-eyed amusement.
‘I was good at my job,’ she protested. ‘Even you have to admit that.’
‘You have rare application,’ he agreed readily. ‘But Mallory’s isn’t the only place where your energies could be utilised.’ Warm colour flooded her cheeks as she imagined what energies he was referring to. ‘Next year,’ he continued, ‘we’ll be launching our new wine label; I’ll need someone to handle the promotion and marketing.’
‘Is that a job offer?’ she asked, trying to disguise from his astute gaze the embarrassing wrong turning her imagination had taken. The eloquent lift of one well-defined eyebrow made it clear that her slip had not gone unnoticed.
‘What’s wrong—don’t you feel you’re up to it?’ he said sympathetically. ‘I don’t feel threatened by your abundant talent, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘You’ve already sacked me once.’
‘You resigned, as I recall, and when you were offered your old job you turned it down.’
‘How would you know that?’
‘Peter happened to mention it,’ he said casually.
‘In passing?’ she suggested.
‘I could have made a casual enquiry.’
The little shiver that traced a delicate pathway up her spine made her almost as flustered as his blue-eyed stare.
‘If you want me to admit you made quite an impact on me I’m not going to deny it.’
‘You’re not? I d-did?’ she stuttered hoarsely.
‘It would be easier to come to terms with if I could believe you deliberately set out to seduce me, but I don’t think you had any more control over what happened that night than I did. Did you make an impact?’ he continued in a goaded voice, and she could see the vein in his temple throbbing. ‘You were the embodiment of every erotic fantasy I’ve ever conceived.’
She swallowed convulsively as she listened to the rasp of his voice.
‘You were warm and sensuous, Georgina. I should thank you for bringing me back to reality with a bump, waking up to find myself very alone the next morning. I might have made the same mistake my father did and confused lust for something else.’
‘You were hardly a passive victim, Callum,’ she responded shakily as she absorbed the implication of his last admission.
‘I suppose under the circumstances you think you were the victim.’
‘There’s not much to be gained from allocating blame. We made a baby,’ Georgina said quietly. ‘I suppose that’s all that really matters. If we hadn’t I wouldn’t be here, we wouldn’t be together.’
‘Why did you go to May, not me?’
The hard question threw her off balance. ‘I didn’t go to him, Callum. He just happened—’
‘Never mind, it doesn’t alter anything,’ he interrupted tersely.
She stared in frustration at his closed expression and pushed away her plate. Sometimes, she mused angrily, he acted as if he was jealous, which was ridiculous.
The house was a sprawling converted farmhouse built of a rosy-hued stone. It was nestled on the lower slopes of a hillside above the fertile plains of a valley.
‘You went out like a light,’ Callum said as she rubbed her eyes and blinked around her. ‘Slobbering all over my shoulder.’
‘I do not slobber,’ she contradicted him, recalling with a flush the muscled curve she had awoken against ‘Drool gently maybe...’ she conceded, stretching luxuriously.
‘It’s not as remote as it seems,’ Callum continued, helping her out of the passenger seat. ‘The other approach road leads to a market town that’s only a few kilometres away. My housekeeper, Mathilde, has agreed to move in, at least until after the baby is born, so you won’t be alone. Her English is better than your French,’ he added in a teasing tone.
‘I’ve a jailer! How cosy,’ she snapped, reluctantly accepting his help to lever herself from the vehicle. Right now it was winter but this was the sort of place that would have bougainvillea growing over the roof in summer; she liked it immediately. Will I still be here in the summer? she wondered.
If Ge
orgina felt ungainly as she straightened up it was nothing to how she felt as a tall, slim shape emerged from the sprawling house and ran up the slight incline right into Callum’s arms. She kissed him warmly on the lips and drew back, smiling. By the time the woman’s eyes turned to her Georgina felt as unwieldy as the average tank.
‘When did you breeze in, Josie?’ Callum enquired, not seeming to find her form of greeting anything out of the ordinary. Georgina had ample opportunity to see that the young woman’s profile was perfect.
‘Last Saturday. Greg asked me to lend a hand as you were...delayed in London.’ The willowy brunette flicked Georgina a cold glance and turned her attention back to Callum.
‘That was good of you, Josie. How’s the weather been?’ he asked, his eyes lifting to the dark clouds overhead.
‘Cold enough to make me feel at home,’ came back the laughing remark.
The wind was icy and Georgina was already aware of it cutting through the light fabric of her jacket. She certainly didn’t feel at home; she felt like an intruder. ‘I’ll go in if you’ve no objection,’ she said stiffly.
‘Sorry, I haven’t introduced you two. Georgina, this is Josie Dupont, my partner Greg’s sister.’
Georgina responded to the slight inclination of the other girl’s head in kind. She had to concede that the other girl was attractive, if you liked long-limbed, athletic creatures with madonna-like features. She was gloomily certain from his attitude that Callum did. Partner—she hadn’t even known he had a partner, but then, she didn’t know all that much about Callum, she reminded herself.
‘Watch the cobbles outside the back door,’ Callum yelled after her. ‘They get slippery after rain.’
Georgina was panting when she stepped into the warmth of the large, flagstoned room and pushed the protective hood off her hair. As she shook the strands back the rich colour glowed in the subdued light; pregnancy had enhanced her crowning glory.
The kitchen ran the full width of the house. Its walls were exposed stone and the dark beams, from which drying herbs hung in bundles, were low. An ancient range stood in the inglenook, but, seeing the modern appliances in the room, she assumed its presence was more aesthetic than practical.
‘Mathilde!’ Callum yelled as he caught her up. ‘You could have broken your neck out there,’ he accused, casting Georgina an exasperated glance. ‘Mathilde!’ he said again.
‘Oh, Cal, I gave her the day off. Her niece was getting married and she was desperate to go. I said you wouldn’t mind. Did I do wrong?’ Josie asked, grimacing prettily as she looked up at him.
‘Of course not,’ Callum said, the line of concentration between his dark brows clearly revealing that he wasn’t happy with the situation. ‘I need to catch up on things and see Greg; he’s been carrying my load long enough as it is.’
I suppose that’s my fault too, Georgina thought, swamped by a sense of isolation. Why had she allowed him to bring her here, take control of her life so completely? I must have been insane, she thought despairingly.
‘What’s stopping you?’ the brunette asked.
‘I can’t leave Georgina alone.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Georgina snapped, her colour heightened as she intercepted the disdainful look the other girl flicked her. ‘Isn’t the winery here?’ she asked. She had assumed the outbuildings she’d glimpsed housed it.
Josie gave a superior smile. ‘No, it’s the other side of the valley,’ she explained with a mix of superiority and scorn that made Georgina’s blood simmer. ‘I’m sure Georgina understands you have other commitments, Callum.’
And are you one of them? Georgina wondered, watching the way the girl smiled at Callum. Josie was cool, capable and very easy on the eye—just the sort of female Callum wouldn’t mind hanging on his every word, she thought sourly. She also had a waist, which was very tactless of her!
‘It’s not open for discussion,’ Callum said firmly. ‘Tell Greg to come over for dinner. You too. of course. We can catch up then.’
Josie had to be satisfied with that and she hid her pique well, but Georgina knew from the unfriendly glare she received that she was far from pleased with the outcome of this discussion. She’d wanted to whisk Callum away and she wasn’t pleased at having her plans thwarted.
‘I’ll show you your room and you can rest,’ Callum observed after the sounds of a four-wheel drive had disappeared into the distance.
‘I don’t need a keeper.’
‘Opinion differs on that one,’ he said drily. ‘You do need a rest and if you weren’t so stubborn you’d admit it.’
Common sense made her abandon her objections. A steep staircase led to the upper storey and Callum showed her into a large, airy room furnished mainly with antiques. The large bed had a brass frame and it was covered with a patchwork quilt. The flowers on the bureau made it seem possible that the absent Mathilde might be more welcoming than Josie; hopefully she wasn’t in love with Callum too.
There seemed to be a rash of that particular disease at the moment, she thought, recalling the expression in Josie’s grey eyes as she’d looked at Callum. If they’d had a relationship, or even still had a relationship, she thought with a swallow, no wonder the young woman viewed her with a lack of enthusiasm.
‘It’s very nice,’ she said awkwardly. She turned to find Callum watching her with that curious intensity that was unique to him. She experienced the usual frisson of sensation that always occurred when she looked directly at him. It prickled along her senses like neat electricity. For a fleeting moment the awful sense of longing nearly swamped her. The effort to tear herself free of the hopeless yearning made her tremble. ‘I am tired.’
Callum had looked as though he was about to say something but he pulled up short at her prosaic announcement and nodded curtly. ‘If you need anything, just yell. There’s a bathroom through that door,’ he said, indicating the far end of the room.
Too tired to think, she kicked off her shoes and slid fully clothed beneath the bedcovers. Her dreams were dark, vivid and troubled...
She awoke with a start, sitting upright, confused and disorientated in a strange, darkened room. It took several heart-thudding moments before her temporary amnesia lifted.
It wasn’t much more comforting to recall the truth; she was in some remote corner of the Languedoc with Callum, even though it was fairly obvious he wished her elsewhere. How much more cosy it would have been for him to return to find the lissom Josie on his doorstep.
If I hadn’t been hanging around his neck like some sort of albatross he wouldn’t have sent her packing, she thought bitterly. She spent a few agonising moments imagining what Callum and Josie would have been doing under different circumstances.
Always self-sufficient, it hurt Georgina to have her independence snatched away. It was made worse because Callum was the person she had become dependent on. His motivation was clear enough he felt the responsibility for the unborn child deeply. The fact that he was prepared to put up with her presence proved that.
She couldn’t let herself grow used to being cherished and protected because the situation was a purely temporary one. How was she ever going to recover from this mindless infatuation when she was constantly seeing him? Infatuation! she thought with a grim smile. How like her to use euphemisms to hide from the truth, she thought with self-deprecating humour. All the associations, relationships and infatuations were not going to change the fact that she was in love with him!
She felt a movement in her belly and smiled, throwing off her dark thoughts. Home was already growing cramped for the little one.
Exploring, she found the deep claw-footed bath a temptation. She turned on the taps and slowly slipped off her creased garments. Her reflection in the cheval-glass as she placed the bundle on the bed caught her eye. With fascination she looked at the swollen contours of her belly and the heavy ripeness of her breasts. The continual changes never failed to amaze her.
A movement on the periphery of her vision made her
head turn as she gave a startled gasp. ‘Callum!’ Instinctively she snatched up her discarded shirt and held it in front of her.
She closed her eyes, imagining how gross and ugly he must find her body. She didn’t want to look at him, sure that, at best, her own embarrassment must be mirrored in his eyes. She couldn’t bear to see his repugnance.
‘My God...’ she heard him breathe.
Her eyes flickered open in protest as she felt the cotton shirt being firmly removed from her grip.
‘You should be proud of the way you look, Georgina,’ he said in a faintly unsteady voice that she hardly recognised.
She stood immobile as his hand tentatively touched the place where a waistline had once been. His expression was one of quiet awe and the touch of his long, sensitive fingers was gentle.
The glow of warm sensuality she felt surprised her. Confused and agitated, she wasn’t sure she ought to feel like this in her present condition. But then why should being a mother stop her being a sensual person with healthy needs and appetites? Appetites that only Callum could excite.
She desperately wanted to step closer to him and increase the contact between them. ‘I am proud,’ she said as emotion rose to clog her throat. ‘But I don’t expect anyone else to share my fascination. I know I’m a bit of a blob.’ She tried to smile to show she didn’t mind if he thought that.
His blue eyes flickered to her face. ‘You’re beautiful, lush and ripe,’ he said, his deep voice vibrantly caressing. ‘I’ve never been this close to a miracle before.’
His response was too fervent to be a mere sop to her vanity. She gave a convulsive shiver and his expression changed to one of concern.
‘You’re cold,’ he said, drawing a blanket off the bed.
‘I was about to have a bath.’
‘Come on, then; I’ll help you. I don’t want you falling; the sides are pretty steep.’
