by Kim Lawrence
‘I’m not sure I could have coped without you,’ she said huskily. Her words drew his sharp gaze to her face. ‘I’m lucky.’
‘That’s an astounding thing to hear you say,’ he observed, his expression more cautious than amazed.
‘Mother was asking what our plans are.’
‘And what did you tell her?’ he asked, a spasmodic clenching of a muscle along his jaw belying his casual tone.
‘I said I couldn’t think beyond the moment.’ She watched apprehensively as his jaw tightened and his lips thinned.
‘I see...’
‘But I can see we have to sort things out. We can’t drift like this for ever. It wouldn’t be fair—to either of us.’
‘I asked you to marry me.’
‘I suppose you did, after a fashion,’ she agreed, her heart thudding as she picked her words with painful care. ‘It was a very emotional moment. I thought you might change your mind.’
‘That won’t happen,’ he said in a clipped tone.
‘It would be easy for me to say yes for all the wrong reasons. Can’t you see that?’ she pleaded.
‘I see you want to keep your options open.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean now you have had Rachel there’s nothing stopping you taking up where you left off with May.’ He was watching her with a curious intensity.
The completely unreasonable nature of his accusation roused her temper. ‘You’ve got some nerve after spending the night with Josie the day before Rachel was born!’ She tried not to remember his absence but the memory was always there, nagging at her in contented moments.
He looked totally blank for a moment, then a faint flush mounted his cheekbones. ‘That seems like a lifetime ago,’ he observed drily.
He didn’t even bother defending himself, she thought, stilling her quivering lower lip with a sharp nip of her teeth. You’re doing well, Georgina, she told herself. Don’t cry now, she thought, gulping back a sob. Don’t let him see you care.
‘If I told you I’d be faithful once we were married...’ Once more his eyes avoided her face, almost as if he was embarrassed.
‘I’d laugh,’ she said stiffly, with a toss of her head.
Her sarcasm made his eyes flash and his big, powerful body grow taut ‘Why didn’t you tell me that you were at Mallory’s that day to meet Mary, not May?’
The unexpectedness of this question left her staring as the blood drained dramatically from her face. ‘How did you...?’
‘I had a very interesting conversation with Mary when she phoned just after Rachel was born. She was relieved everything had gone well; she felt responsible for being late that day.’
He’d known that long! Georgina stared at him, trying to read his expression. ‘Why didn’t you mention it?’
‘More to the point, why didn’t you?’ he parried. ‘I should have killed the bastard,’ he reflected harshly, his fists clenching as he seemed overcome by a sudden spurt of violent anger. ‘When I think what he could have done.’
‘He made a few heavy passes at me,’ Georgina confessed, attempting to sound casual. ‘I handled them clumsily. I never—’
‘Your sexual experience before me consisted of a few clumsy attempts with Alex, didn’t it, Georgina?’
She gave a weak smile. ‘Two, if you’re counting,’ she admitted, recalling the miserable, inhibited occasions.
His eyes closed on a jagged sigh and he shook his head. ‘Couldn’t you have told me that?’ The words exploded from him as his eyes snapped open.
‘As a matter of fact, no, I couldn’t. You didn’t want to hear and I had no reason to imagine you’d be interested.’
He went pale but the ruthless glow in his blue eyes didn’t fade. ‘I said some pretty vile things to you,’ he said from between clenched teeth.
‘I can hear Rachel,’ Georgina said, her maternal antennae picking up the faint sounds of their child’s hungry cries. ‘I’ve got to go.’
Her daughter’s immediate needs left Georgina little time to brood. Callum hadn’t tried to stop her going; he’d just stood there with a peculiar, agonised expression on his face. He eventually walked in when she had just lain the small bundle back in her cradle.
Georgina straightened up and put her finger to her lips.
‘Come on through; we need to talk,’ he said tersely. The movement of his eyes made her aware that she hadn’t adjusted her clothes after feeding the baby. Fumbling with the buttons of her shirt, she followed him into the adjoining room.
‘Isn’t it a bit late to hide your body from me, Georgina?’ he said drily, his eyes on the creamy upper slopes of her generous breasts.
She paused, her clumsy fingers reluctantly falling away from their half-finished task. ‘When you put it that way, I suppose it is,’ she agreed bleakly.
‘You’re right—things can’t go on like this.’
She had known this moment would come; he’d had enough, but steeling herself to hear him say so was the hardest thing she’d ever done.
‘I’m sure we can come to some sort of civilised arrangement. ’
‘Civilised!’ he growled in a tone that made her jump. ‘Who wants civilised?’
‘Why, you do, don’t you? I’ve heard your idea of the perfect marriage and it wouldn’t do for me.’
‘This should be the best time of our lives, Georgina. Tell me what would do for you.’
A solitary tear escaped and trickled slowly down her cheek. She was crying for what might have been.
Tell me what you want,’ he persisted rawly, his eyes riveted to the spot of moisture.
‘I want you and Rachel.’ She gritted her teeth and raised her clenched fists to her mouth as the forbidden truth escaped. No, no—just pretend I didn’t say that.’ She half turned away but he caught her shoulder and swung her roughly around to face him.
‘Say it again!’ he demanded.
She made an ineffectual attempt to pull away. ‘Don’t make this worse for me than it already is, Callum,’ she pleaded.
‘Worse for you? Have you any idea what sort of hell it’s been for me?’ The jerk of his head indicated the brass-framed bed. ‘Every night, not able to touch you—’ He broke off, his voice suspended by the pain that contorted his face. ‘Damn it, woman. Don’t tease me with statements like that and turn away.’ His hands tightened on her shoulders.
‘I’m not teasing you, Callum,’ she protested, shocked by his response. ‘I’m sorry, but I fell in love with you. Do you see now why I couldn’t possibly marry you?’
He went stock-still and she could feel a shudder gather strength and run along his taut frame. ‘I might be dense,’ he said slowly in the strangest tone she’d ever heard, ‘but no, I don’t see. Perhaps you should explain.’
‘I can’t be pragmatic and sensible,’ she shouted, her eyes dark with anguish. ‘I’d be jealous and...I wouldn’t be the sort of wife you want at all.’
‘You mean the idea of me with another woman would drive you wild?’ he suggested. ‘That you’d respond irrationally? Like I did when I thought of you with Simon May—or, for that matter, with anyone else but me?’
She blinked rapidly and succeeded in catapulting one of her contact lenses out ‘Oh, no!’ she groaned in frustration. What brilliant timing! ‘Not now.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I’ve lost one of my lenses,’ she wailed, feeling against the nearest solid surface, which happened to be his chest, to find the offending item. ‘I can’t see a thing.’
‘I don’t mind you feeling your way,’ he said softly, pressing one of her hands harder against the surface of his stomach. The delicious contraction of muscles under her fingertips made her gasp gently and raise her myopic wide eyes to his face. That he found her exploration arousing was evident as he pressed closer to her, making her insides melt.
She licked her dry lips. ‘Is this the right time to say I love you?’ she asked tentatively, giving her lens up for lost She was never one to shi
rk a challenge, especially one with the sort of rewards this particular task could yield.
‘Absolutely the right time,’ he growled, a fierce blaze of triumph in his eyes.
The kiss went on a long time as he plundered the moistness of her mouth. His hands moved in her hair and a series of fierce, hungry moans erupted from his throat. When he lifted his head she stared at him in dazed submission.
‘I don’t believe this,’ she whispered hoarsely. ‘You hate me.’
He grinned. ‘If only life were that simple, my lovely Georgina,’ he teased, running a finger around the firm curve of her chin and taking it firmly in the palm of his hand.
Georgina gave a shuddering sigh and smiled. It wasn’t exactly an avowal of eternal love but she felt extremely optimistic.
The smile had a visibly powerful effect on Callum, who caught his breath in a series of hoarse gasps. ‘One smile like that and I’d never have lasted these past weeks,’ he admitted. Whilst he spoke one hand was peeling back the half-fastened sides of her shirt. He proceeded to flick the front fastener of her bra undone. He swallowed as the creamy fullness of her breasts escaped. ‘Sweet mercy,’ he breathed. ‘Can I touch? Or are you too tender?’ he asked, drinking in the sweet fragrance of her hair.
‘Sensitive, but not tender now,’ she said softly as he sucked the tips of the fingers she placed against his mouth. ‘Could you explain how this is happening, Callum?’ she asked dreamily.
‘I didn’t want to come to London or get involved in the internal wrangling of that bloody agency, and most of all I didn’t want to fall in love with a wicked, red-haired witch in a silly hat.’
She couldn’t stop smiling. ‘It was a very expensive hat.’
‘I have built-in prejudice when it comes to phrases like love at first sight.’ He shrugged self-consciously. ‘You know my history. You hit me for six, woman, and I came up fighting,’ he growled. ‘I’d seen firsthand what blind infatuation could do; I’d always been determined never to place myself in that situation and become a victim of my own desire. Then that night in that damned awful hotel I fell at the first blow. I didn’t even put up a fight.’
‘Kiss,’ she corrected him happily. ‘First kiss.’ I’m really enjoying this story, she thought, giving a small, ecstatic sigh.
‘My first thought when I woke was how was I going to get you to accept I’d been in your bed under false pretences. I’d been too jet-lagged to stay conscious the night before and tell you I was the dreaded nephew. As it happened, that wasn’t a problem, as you weren’t in the bed, or the room, or the hotel,’ he recalled grimly.
‘I thought you’d be relieved that I’d gone,’ she said anxiously. ‘I knew I couldn’t act as if it meant nothing to me so it seemed sensible to...’
‘Run away.’
She nodded guiltily, wondering how differently the last few months might have turned out if she’d stayed. ‘I thought you’d cringe if I was there the next morning gushing about how marvellous it was.’
‘I thrive on a moderate amount of gushing.’
‘You were hateful to me,’ she reminded him.
‘Too right!’ he said, his eyes gleaming. ‘I’d been stupid enough to break all my own rules and fall for a scheming, sexy body and a pair of innocent eyes. I wanted to believe every rotten thing I could about you. I wanted to see you crawl. I sort of liked it when you didn’t,’ he admitted, stroking the receptive peak of one breast, cupping her flesh and sighing with hoarse delight as it overflowed from his hand. ‘I liked lots of things about you.’
‘You hid it well,’ she told him teasingly. Her head dropped against his chest as her knees sagged; the relief and joy of the occasion was taking a physical toll. ‘I was pretty miserable too, if that helps. I was so scared when I first realised I was pregnant.’
‘It doesn’t help at all,’ he said hoarsely. ‘When I think of you—alone, carrying our baby,’ he groaned.
‘I wanted to tell you,’ she confided, burying her face in his shoulder. ‘But I thought you’d think it was just another of my devious schemes. I was sure that even if you accepted the situation it would only be out of a sense of responsibility. I didn’t want your obligation, Callum, I wanted your love,’ she revealed huskily.
‘I suppose I can’t blame you for thinking I’d reject you,’ he said, his voice anguished. ‘I wanted to kill May when I thought the baby was his. And when I knew she was mine I...I hated myself for letting you go through all that alone.’
‘You can’t blame yourself,’ she protested.
He gazed fondly into her indignant face and laughed. ‘I could get used to having you in my corner,’ he confessed.
‘It’s somewhere I didn’t think you wanted me to be. You were always with Josie.’
‘Inevitably I was some of the time,’ he agreed, rubbing the side of her nose with his thumb and gazing at her upturned face tenderly. ‘But not as much as I let you think. Incidentally, I didn’t string Josie along; I told her I’m in love with you. I did think a bit of healthy jealousy might be justified, considering the urgency of my need.’
‘You heartless rat,’ she said with mock severity. The blaze in his eyes recompensed her for the anguish she had suffered.
He grinned wickedly. ‘The night before Rachel was born I was out driving all night. I parked in some Godforsaken spot. I couldn’t trust myself not to touch you when we were together and you’d made it pretty clear you didn’t want me to. I thought it might get easier after the baby was born but it’s got gradually worse; you’ve been pushing me further away!’ He tilted her chin up and looked reproachfully into her eyes.
‘I thought it was Rachel you wanted, not me. I needed you to love me.’
He gave a brilliant, savage grin. ‘It’s ironic when you think about it. We’ve both been immersed in our separate cells of self-induced solitude. If we’d actually said what we were feeling we could have saved ourselves months of misery. I wanted to confront you with the Simon May thing as soon as Mary let the truth slip but you were so wrapped up in our daughter I was going to wait until you weren’t so exhausted.’
‘When will that be, do you suppose—eighteen years’ time?’
‘I’ve heard that’s when the trouble starts,’ Callum said solemnly.
‘About the legacy from Oliver,’ Georgina said, trying hard not to be distracted by the erotic movements of his hands over her body from explaining the one major obstacle that stood between them.
‘What about it?’ he said, reluctantly raising his head when she repeated herself nervously.
‘You don’t sound very interested,’ she said a shade indignantly.
‘It’s a long time since I could convince myself you were an avaricious little go-getter. The fact that I knew you must have overcome strong moral objections to sleep with me that night convinced me that you felt a strong sexual attraction at least. I’m sure Oliver had his own obscure reasons for giving you the money, but I’m not losing any sleep over them. Convincing you you need me as much as I do you has occupied most of my thoughts recently,’ he confessed bluntly.
‘He was an old flame of Mother’s before and after she was married. He also tried to make her leave my father and contributed to the eventual breakup of their marriage. I think the money was his way of making amends.’
‘Terminally selfish old devil,’ Callum muttered angrily. ‘I should warn you to expect more of the same when my mother grants you an audience. I can’t wait to show you off to everyone at Wollundra, and Rachel can meet her new cousin.’ Tricia had produced a son eight weeks before Rachel was born.
‘It was very nice of your mother to send us a congratulations card,’ Georgina said tentatively; she knew that she had to tread carefully where Callum’s relationship with his mother was concerned.
‘It’ll kill her to admit she’s a grandmother,’ he laughed. ‘Don’t look so solemn,’ he admonished her. ‘I stopped letting my mother’s shortcomings affect my life the moment I fell in love with you, my darling. You w
ere and are a sweet revelation. The more I tried to put you out of my mind, the worse it became. I hope you don’t mind that we put the cart before the horse a little, having Rachel before the wedding?’
‘Aren’t you being a mite premature?’ she teased happily. Did life get any better than this? she wondered, her heart soaring.
‘I’ve been incredibly patient, woman, and don’t expect it to continue!’ he warned, kissing her parted lips. ‘You’ll marry me.’
‘I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to work together as well as being married—if the offer still stands?’ she quizzed mischievously.
‘I seem to recall you saying you wouldn’t work for me but would deign to work with me. That arrangement sounds pretty good to me. Just say when you feel ready and we’ll organise things with Rachel. I have a very flexible maternity policy.’
‘You mentioned patience,’ she said, a smile curving her lush mouth.
‘Uh-huh,’ he said huskily, and she could feel his body throbbing.
‘I’m feeling a little impatient myself.’ She looked up at him with half-closed eyes, her lashes casting a shadow over the high curve of her cheekbones.
‘Parents should take any opportunity for rest and relaxation they can. I read that somewhere.’
‘Sounds like good advice. I don’t mean to sound pushy but babies don’t sleep for long—at least, ours doesn’t.’
‘Wanton hussy,’ he said, sweeping her up in his arms and laying her across the bed.
‘I could learn to be,’ she said as he joined her. ‘With a little assistance.’
Callum, she learnt, could be very generous with his guidance...
ISBN : 978-1-4592-5205-9
WEDDING-NIGHT BABY
First North American Publication 1999.
Copyright © 1997 by Kim Lawrence.
