“What’s wrong, Layla?”
I ruined his office chair. The arms smoldered and disintegrated, but I just laughed. It sounded maniacal, “This is just too much!” I couldn’t get a handle on my anger. All I could think to say was, “Why is everything so white here?”
White house.
White town.
White sun.
Bright white shirt and that white smile he saved only for me.
A white raging heat pulsed throughout my body, fueling my anger and renewing my heartache. To see him and not touch him, to know he was with another girl- one I was living with!
This isn’t part of the game. That’s not how this is supposed to go!
Orias had never mentioned anything about Orrin being in love with someone else. If I told Mr. Reese, would even believe me? I would be asking him to go against his own mind. It would be like me trying to convince him Daisy wasn’t his daughter. I would put someone he loved under suspicion. I would be making him choose between me and Daisy, and I knew I would lose that battle. He would never persuade Daisy to stay away from Heath, who he so obviously approved of. I knew that Orrin wouldn’t remember who he was, but I wasn’t prepared for his identity to be ingrained in so many other people. It wouldn’t be just Mr. Reese and Daisy either. This meant that he would have a family too. He didn’t just have a new memory- he had a new life, a new family, a new love.
The pain was too much.
This was going to be more difficult than I first believed.
Difficult, but not impossible.
Never impossible.
I had to be positive about this situation and figure out where I fit in. I hadn’t found Orrin, he had found me. He may think he has feelings for someone else, but his soul was tied to mine. That kind of bond could only be broken by death. I had someone willing to help me train, while I waited for Orrin to remember me. I hadn’t even been in Balmorhea for one full day.
This was huge progress.
I could hold onto a chunk of pure white hope that Orrin, my Orrin, was here, with me, and the man I knew was waiting for me to give him back all that had been taken from us. He had given his life for me, and it was time I returned the favor.
Chapter 4
Training Day
He didn’t believe me.
I couldn’t break through his altered memories. Nothing I said made a dent. Mr. Reese refused to believe me when I told him that boy who had just asked Daisy to prom, Heath, was really Orrin.
“Layla, really I’ve watched that boy grow up. He has lived in Balmorhea his whole life. His father, Cliff, is one of my good friends.”
I was incredulous, “No, he hasn’t.” I pointed toward the door, “that was Orrin Darringer, half-daemon, son of Orias. You know who Orias is, right?”
“Of course, I know who Orias is. He’s a commander is Samael’s army. I’ve never had to come across him ever, and I even know of his many sons, through my studies, but,” he scoffed, “that young man that just walked in here is no more daemon than me.”
“I don’t understand why you can see it in me so easily and you can’t see it in him?”
“Maybe you’re just confused. You have had a rough couple of days. You think you might just be overly tired?”
“No.” I almost snarled. I wasn’t tired at all. I was getting angry.
I felt like banging my head against the wall.
What was I thinking? I would just walk to up Orrin, he would see me, know me, and all his memories come rushing back to him? It wasn’t that simple, and I knew it. But I thought the journey to find him was going to be the hard part. Orias had told me our paths would cross, but I wasn’t prepared to see him so soon, even though I needed him so badly, I wanted to see him again.
But I didn’t want to see that guy who was just here. I wanted to see my Orrin. I wanted to see the recognition in his eyes. I wanted him to smile at me like he had before. I needed him to look on me with all the love he had felt when we were in Providence. All of that was in there somewhere, inside that Texas cowboy who just strode out of the church office, chasing after another girl.
Orias had promised, and if he was wrong, then what was the point? He wouldn’t send me on a wild goose chase. He wouldn’t be so cavalier when it came to his son. Would he? Orias might not have been the best father to Orrin, but he loved him and needed him.
As the Porter, Orrin was the only daemon who could rip holes between Hell and Earth and bring daemons in their corpulent form back and forth between the realms. This was too valuable a power to be lost. I wasn’t convinced that Orias and I were the only ones looking for him either. They would come. Both sides would be looking for Orrin. It was slowly making sense to me now. Neither Heaven nor Hell knew where to look for Orrin, but they would know where to look for me. I wasn’t on Neutral territory, and I think my dad sent me here, to Balmorhea, on purpose. Most daemons and angels would begin their journey to find me and Orrin some place neutral, thinking that I would look there for safety. Balmorhea wasn’t a Neutral city, and that meant although we weren’t safe, at least we were concealed.
“Why don’t we take a drive over to the high school? It’s not too far away.” He walked out the door and held it open for me, “Daisy is waiting there to show you around. You’ll be an instant celebrity. We don’t have many new students transfer into Balmorhea.”
He was right. It was a short, sunny, drive to the high school. There wasn’t much grass around the small one-story building. There were brown portable buildings that looked like trailers off to one side and a large metal building behind the parking lot, and a football field beyond that. The school was unimpressive, but by the blue and white paint, streamers, and signs hanging from every free space around campus, I could tell the students had a lot of school pride, just like every other small Southern town.
I felt like an outsider. I was an outsider, but I felt it then more than ever. If I had Orrin by my side, I wouldn’t have felt so alone. I waged a battle within myself with every heartbeat, and now I had to battle to win Orrin’s love. I knew how to deal with my daemon, I could handle that, for a while. But with Orrin, I didn’t know where to begin. He was everything to me and I had no idea what it would take to get him back.
“Shall we?” Mr. Reese gestured to the front doors of the school.
“Okay.” I whispered.
It was only like two days ago I was attending the Spring Luau for North Providence High School, and now I was in Balmorhea. I felt out of sorts. I knew I didn’t belong anywhere really, but I had no true idea what an oddity I was until I was settled into my English class that next day.
Mr. Reese had given me that first day to get my bearings, and then he said it was back to school. I spent the day Googling Heath Darringer, stalking his Facebook page, old photos, and newspaper entries on his success in football, basketball, and track. It was crazy how this whole new persona had been invented for Orrin in such a short time. It was as if Orrin was an imposter and Heath was the real persona. Looking at the endless pictures, posts, and stories that featured his name, I began to doubt my own sanity. Maybe I was the crazy one and everyone around me was really sane.
But no-that couldn’t be the truth. The tie was still strong. I could feel my soul being pulled out of my body in a desperate attempt to get to him. At that moment the tie felt like a fishhook- piercing, solid, and dangerous. My daemon and I both watched him walk by the door, hand-in-hand with Daisy. She waved to me and he almost glared.
My palms itched. I knew it wasn’t Daisy’s fault. She was innocent in all of this, and so far she and Mr. Reese were the closest thing I had to allies, family even, and I didn’t want them hurt, even accidentally. That had happened to Ben while I was in Providence, and I felt horrible about it.
“Hey girl, how’s it going,” Daisy asked me, her soft Texas accent rolled off her tongue, but felt like a cheese grater against my ears. “You find all your classes yet?”
I hate you!
“Mmmhmm,” I replied shor
tly. I hadn’t said more than a handful of words to Daisy, but she didn’t seem to mind. She filled the empty space for both of us perfectly. She may have been a chatterbox, but she wasn’t stupid. She was headed to Southwestern University in the fall, on a softball and academic scholarship. She was the salutatorian of her graduating class too. She was smart, athletic, nice, tall, blonde, and a preacher’s daughter. What guy wouldn’t lose his mind over someone like that?
Heath came and plopped himself down on the other side of Daisy. He was near me again, but still untouchable. My fingers itched to trace the lines of his jaw, to touch his lips as they smiled at me, and feel his silky hair as he kissed me. He was everything I wanted and all I couldn’t have. The familiar ache in my chest beat a painful rhythm, reminding me to focus- not on the Orrin in Providence, from my past, but the man that he will be when he remembers his true self. I plastered a fake smile on my face and tried to look as normal as possible.
The love birds were entwining their fingers together and whispering to each other. I’d watched my friends Miles and Macie do that so many times. I had even done that with Orrin. I missed that comfortable intimacy, especially seeing Orrin engaged in a tableau with someone who was not me. I felt more alone than ever. Breaking them apart would be more for my sake than his. I looked forward to it.
Make them stop, my daemon hissed.
Think, think, think….
Prom!
“Soooo, Daisy!” She whipped her head around smiling at me. Heath was looking at me too when I said, “You guys are going to prom together huh?”
She laughed and Heath scowled. I knew I’d ruined his chance at a special moment. He probably was going to ask Daisy in some elaborately fashion. I didn’t care. “Well, Heath hasn’t asked yet,” She eyeballed him endearingly, “but probably so. Nobody else would dare ask my man to prom.” She caressed the side of his face and he kissed her palm.
“I planned on asking you tonight properly,” Heath sighed though his irritation.
“Well, you can still ask. My answer will be the same.” Daisy said with a blinding smile.
Ugh! Where is a teacher when you need one? These two are disgusting.
“Hey there, new girl.”
I was lost in thought staring at Heath, I didn’t notice someone walking up and crouching down by my desk. His voice was as deep as his tan, and as dark as his brown eyes. He was a big guy, and judging by the grim set of his pursed lips I’d already done something to be on his bad side, not that I cared much. I had tougher adversaries than this puffed-up cowboy. His college shirt was stretched tight over his massive chest, his jeans were worn and tight down his nice legs and he was wearing a worn pair of leather flip flops. He just sat there holding my gaze, trying to intimidate me.
“This is Ross,” Daisy said pushing at his shoulder, “Get outta her face.”
Another girl with long dark hair and bright red lipstick came over and dragged her hands over Ross’s shaggy hair and settled herself with her hand resting on his left shoulder. “Hi. And you are?” she asked rudely.
“Layla.”
“Valerie,” she replied just as curtly, “Hi.”
She was pretty, and apparently she and Ross were a thing, or else she really wanted to be. Valerie rolled her eyes and got up to find her seat when she realized that she obviously wasn’t going to turn Ross’ attention from me over to her.
Ross spent that whole first day watching me. Every time I found myself staring at Heath, I found Ross staring at me like an angry guard dog. His eyes were two tiny slits from which he poured so much distrust and contempt for not just me, but the world around him. He seemed cynical and mean. How did someone like Heath end up with a best friend like this? I didn’t like him very much, not that it mattered, but I watched him right back. The only time he wasn’t frowning like a bullfrog was when he was talking to his best friend. He and Heath had the connection most long-time friends had, their loyalty to each other was obvious - it made him unique among his classmates and others his own age. This was his only saving grace. There was something very grown-up and solitary about him, like he had learned some hard life lessons and wore them proudly for the world to see.
There were many other obstacles between Heath and me, besides just touchy-feely girlfriends, and bouncer-like best friends. Heath didn’t even notice me- or he was really good at pretending. I wasn’t on his radar at all, whereas I couldn’t get him out of my mind. Sports, farm work and Daisy are all he talked about. I hoped Orrin was still insidethis big farmboy, but after a full day watching him, I knew he was buried deep. His new identity was woven deeply into the tapestry of Balmorhea, but one thing the angels hadn’t counted on when he was given this judgment- me.
I was like a vicious cat, I had sunk my claws into my prey, and I wouldn’t give up without a fight.
Ross caught up with me after school that first day, his frown firmly in place.
Gimme all those dirty looks, Ross. He’s mine. I promise this now.
I was trailing five steps behind the happy couple and wasn’t watching where I was walking. My eyes were glued to Heath. The back of his neck was so tan and his hair was so bleached by the sun. I couldn’t understand how he had changed so much, physically that is, from the Orrin I knew, into Heath, in only a matter of two days. Someone who didn’t recognize me, didn’t look at me, didn’t feel that sizzle under his skin when there was another daemon present. That was dangerous for him. It was dangerous for me too. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I was near him. I was swept up in longing, which was very dangerous considering he was the Porter, I was the Beacon, and we were both not on Neutral territory.
Valerie has one of her hands in Ross’ back pocket as they walk side by side. She prattles on incessantly about her prom dress, and I could tell that Ross didn’t care much for her. Why was he taking her to Prom if he could barely tolerate her?During class I stared hard at Ross, Valerie, and every other student who sat still long enough. I looked for those telltale signs that he was possessed by a lesser daemon, a Vagabond, but his face remained intact, just like everyone else’s in Balmorhea. I knew they would come, and it would be someone close to Heath or me. A Vagabond had used Ben, my best friend, and no human was safe from their possession. But Ross and Valerie weren’t possessed, their sour expressions were just the natural state of their faces.
It was only day one at the new high school, and I had worn out my welcome as far as those two were concerned. Too bad for them- their wants meant nothing to me. Heath and Daisy said goodbye as we got in Daisy’s jeep and made our down the main road out of town. Daisy was going to drop me off at her house before practice started. She played softball. Mr. Reese wanted to start training with me today. I was glad he wasn’t the kind to waste time, since time was my most precious resource. He said he had some things that he could teach me. He believed, like so many others did, that my birthright had yet to fully develop and that I was capable of more. He never alluded to what more meant, I wasn’t sure if it was fighting, or self-control. I hoped it wouldn’t be more history. I didn’t need more lectures. I wasn’t ignorant enough to believe I knew it all. Skeptical was a much better word to describe my feelings on the subject.
Daisy’s old red jeep had a bikini top that flapped as we bumped down the road. The black cracked leather dug into my legs, and the dusty hot air whipped strands of my hair into my eyes and mouth, making me wish I was driving the streets of Providence with Orin in his sleek, sophisticated Audi.
Sophisticated was the last word I would use about Daisy, Heath, and everything else in Balmorhea, Texas.
Daisy stopped the jeep in a field tall grass. The barbed wire fence around it had fallen over, its presence long since needed, was left to decay in peaceful solitude. There were purple viney flowers tangling around the rusted metal softened its downfall. Beyond the sandy colored field of tall grass was a massive solitary tree. It grew in the middle of the field, like a watchtower, its leaves the witnesses to the lonely world around it. The field w
as beautiful but I was confused why she stopped.
“Daddy’s out there. He texted earlier that you two needed some time to talk some more and he wanted you to meet him out here.” Daisy pointed to the large oak tree a bit confused, “he comes out here to think sometimes.” She stopped admiring the simple beauty of our surroundings. “It’s pretty, isn’t it? But why does he want yall to meet here?”
“I don’t know,” I lied stepping down from the jeep.
“I’m gonna miss this place when I leave for college.” She looked at her watch and made a face, “Ooh! I gotta go! Head over to that tree. Daddy’s up there.”
I guess I looked incredulous, because she laughed, “I promise he’s there! He texted me earlier. Bye. See ya in a bit.”
And she was gone.
It was like the beginning of a bad slasher movie. Not that I was worried- since I was more like the killer than the innocent victim.
I could see Mr. Reese’s silhouette, his arm raised, waving to me. I made my way slowly through the tall grass. Habit made me look down and watch for snakes or critters hiding in the field. I hated snakes
When I reached him he asked, “Can you not move faster than that yet?”
“Did you want me to run?”
“When was the last time you tried?”
At the beach. I was still too broken up to remember specifics about that night.
“You can move much faster than you realize, Layla.”
“I know. You think I should try out for the track team with Heath?” I said sarcastically.
“I think that might be a bit unfair. Have you ever met a daemon who can move in the blink of an eye? Be far away one moment, and then right in front of you the next?”
Orrin.
“Yes.” I replied.
“Do you have that ability?” he asked me.
“No.”
“Okay, then. Guess you’re all talked out then,” He cleared his throat, aware of my sullen attitude, “How about I tell you how I think I can help.”
The Porter Page 4
