The screen door swung open and an older man stepped through to interrupt, “Breakfast is ready, son. Animals all fed?”
“Yessir.” Heath answered obediently putting on his t-shirt.
Heath’s father barely gave me a second glance but as he turned to go back inside he said, “You’re welcome to come inside, young lady.”
Heath sighed, “Come on. This will have to wait.”
I tell him he is a half-daemon and he is in danger, and food is more important? “Unbelievable,” I whispered.
I hadn’t eaten breakfast, and as I sat down at the old kitchen table I realized I was starving. Eggs and bacon wrapped in warm tortillas sat on display. I helped myself to one while watching both men polish off three taquitos each.
The three of us sat in an uncomfortable silence. I watched both men, neither one made eye contact with me or each other during the meal. I’m sure Mr. Darringer, if that was his real name, was wondering what I was doing here so early in the morning, with no vehicle, the day after prom. If he had questions he kept them to himself. And as abruptly as it had begun, breakfast was over. Heath was out the door and shirtless once more.
I didn’t follow him outside like I should have. I was drawn to the large, dark den, paneled in cedar, and covered with pictures of Heath as a little boy and a young man. A picture of him splashing in a pool wearing a saggy diaper was on the side of the mantel. Next to it was another of him holding up a trophy with a large brown pig standing in front of him. Moments from an all too real life that never really happened.
How is this possible? Heath is really Orrin! This is all just an elaborate fairy tale!
My mind screamed at the impossibility. How was I supposed to fight the peaceful, loving reality he was living in? How was I supposed to convince him the world in which he lived in was a fake? This place would be soon to full of daemons if he didn’t remember and help restore balance to Earth.
A tear slid down my cheek and I pressed my fists into my eyes, “How do I make you love me again?”
Chapter 13
Truths Hurt
I was shaken after seeing the scenes from Heath’s life, however made up they were. I needed to remember that although his life, this life, felt real. It was real, if only to him- and that’s all that mattered. His family, friends, and memories were solid and tangible. They were more than a veil placed to keep his true identity hidden. To me, he was and would always be Orrin Darringer, the boy I loved, and the one person who held my heart.
I waited for Heath to notice me. I followed him into the old barn behind his house. He banged through tools and folded a few horse blankets. It seemed he was trying to ignore me until I went away. My persistence won in the end. I needed to know he was okay, and we had everything and more to talk about.
Heath eyes were daggers hitting me deep enough to draw blood.
This was good. Anger was an emotion, albeit a bad one, but it was definitely better than indifference.
No matter what name he went by, I knew him. We were good at fighting and getting under each other’s skin. I was the only one that could reach his soul, and if he wouldn’t listen rationally to what I had to say, then fighting was the way to go.
“I tell you that you are in danger and what- you get mad at me?” I asked him.
“You know, I wasn’t in any danger until you showed up.” He threw down whatever heavy tool was in his hand, “I didn’t have trouble sleeping at night, I didn’t have mysterious tattoos on my body that no one else can see…”
“I can see it.” I interrupted.
“My life was fine until you got here.”
“And now?” I asked.
“Now,” he breathed, “You’re everywhere. I can’t get you out of my head. I think about you all the time. I have this need to see you, to know where you are. I feel like my insides are going to explode most of the day because I can’t be with you. And when I kissed you…” He stopped.
“Yes?”
“It was like I didn’t have a choice. I had to kiss you- even though I knew I shouldn’t. I’m so afraid of what’s happening inside of me. I feel like if I give in to this need, I- my whole world, will disappear.”
I was speechless. He was angry about all of it- confused, frustrated, and scared, yes. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t anger. I promised to be understanding. After all, I had only experienced the same thing earlier in the year. Discovering my own birthright was scary and he had been so patient.
“I’m not the cause of your problems,” I said defensively.
“Coulda fooled me.”
“I’m only trying to help. I gave up everything, my entire life, to come after you.”
“I didn’t ask you for that! I don’t want you here!” Heath screamed coming even closer to me.
“Really? That’s not what you said a second ago.”
Heath ran his hands through his hair roughly, a familiar movement. Orrin always did that when he was exasperated with me. It gave me a little hope.
“I don’t know what I want anymore.” He sighed, “I just don’t want to lose Daisy. I feel like that’s what’s happening. I feel like I’m being pulled farther and farther away from her, and as soon as she discovers the twisted truth about me- I’m done.”
“Ah,” I paused, “Daisy.”
“Look I’m sorry about yesterday. I never should have…”
“Yes, you should have!” I interrupted. I couldn’t let him apologize for kissing me. It hurt too much to hear.
“No, I shouldn’t have! This isn’t happening. Nothing is going to happen between us. I don’t love you, I love her. I love Daisy!”
I could see the determination and assuredness in the set of his jaw.
This was his truth, his reality. He may have had feelings for me as Orrin, but they were buried so deeply. I knew they were still there, but he was keeping them locked away by choice.
“I can respect that,” I croaked, my throat closing up, “but I still want to help. I don’t want to be a complication. I just want to help you remember who you are. It’s important. Who you are- it’s bigger than just you and me.”
“Why does it matter anyway?” Heath asked, “I don’t want any of this.”
“You’re a daemon, like me.”
“That’s just crap. There has to be some other explanation.”
I stood up and held me hands out, palms up. “Explain this.” I said, as fire, as red as my eyes, rose up like a rainbow over my head. I unleashed my daemon, just a little. I could feel it inside me, taking a giant breath, prepared to fight me for its freedom. The sky swirled an ugly shade of gray above us, threatening to extinguish my fire if I couldn’t control it.
Heath watched me, an evil angel, become consumed by the fire. “I may be stronger than you now, but I have seen you do unspeakable feats that mortals could only dream about. I can help you find your birthright, even though my gifts are different from yours. We come from evil, Heath, but that doesn’t mean it’s what we are.”
Heath stood there, breathing in deeply, calming his pounding heart. I calmed my own heart, brought the fire down and back inside me. I closed my eyes and they resumed their normal muddy brown.
He stared at me with a strange combination of bewilderment and anger.
“I’ll be right back,” he turned and walked back to the house.
“Where are you going?”
Heath emerged a few moments later with a set of keys and a well-worn cowboy hat. “I gotta few hours. You wanna talk- so let’s talk.”
I hopped into the beat up truck and we drove to the field between his father’s house and town. It was the same field where Mr. Reese and I had practiced fighting techniques. The roadside was unmarred from last week’s accident. The blood had been washed away leaving the innocence of the countryside behind.
We parked and walked for a bit, neither speaking, only looking forward and listening to our slow steps crunch through the tall grass.
“I didn’t listen to
you, really, that day in the truck when you were telling me about why you were here. After I saw your…wings, after I saw you save Mr. Reese, my brain sort of shut down for a while. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but getting to that hospital.”
“I can imagine,” I murmured.
“Seeing your eyes…what you did scared the life outta me. And now you’re telling me I can do stuff like that too?” He paused and smiled, “I don’t want to believe you. I tell myself I don’t want any part of this.” He looked down at the ever-darkening tattoo around his forearm. The rings and shapes all connecting to form the mark, identifying him as one with daemon blood flowing through his veins. “But something in me wants it. I saw what you did…and….and.”
“You felt compelled? Like something inside you just came alive?”
“Yeah,” Heath said, hanging his head.
“You don’t need to ever be ashamed of what you are.” I assured him, “You haven’t always made the best decisions in your life,” I paused, recalling the stories he told me and the tales I read about him in my father’s book. His life had been plagued with murder, war, and blood, by his own making. He had made the decision to change once- for me. I needed him to make that same decision again.
“And some of the things you did hurt people.” I continued. He turned from me then, “But you’ve changed! Since you and I have been together, you’ve changed- it was your decision. You turned from your father, Orias, and he can’t control you anymore. You get to start over, Heath.”
“In one of those dreams I told you about,” he whispered, “I’m a soldier covered in this strange black leather armor. I feel really strong- different somehow, I can feel that force inside me. I’m standing in a clearing and the countryside around me is on fire. The ground is covered with dead bodies. Through the smoke, these dark creatures are coming toward me. They don’t scare me though. Actually, I think they’re pathetic and small.” Heath squinted, his dream probably actually a memory of a war he fought with Orias. He took a breath and continued, “As those, daemons, I guess, got closer, I grabbed the air in front of me and tore it like it was made of cloth. The daemons just vanished into it. From the screams that went with them I knew they took human prisoners with them.”
He shuddered, “And I was okay with that?”
“Probably,” I answered honestly.
“Is that what I do?”
“No!” I interrupted, “It’s what you did. You aren’t defined by your past. You’re defined by the choices you make right now.” My heart went out to Heath. I loved him despite the terrible things he did. They didn’t matter to me -he was my soul mate, our hearts were bound together. He needed my help and I felt lost.
I put my hot hands to my eyes,I’m doing this so badly. Help me.
I took a breath and started again. “Look, driving to the hospital the other night was a bad time to try and tell you all of this. It was unfair of me to try and talk to you when you were so upset.”
“Well you did kind of save my girlfriend’s father with your hands,” he looked at me, “It was curious.”
“Yeah, but I shouldn’t have shared anything about your past- only your present. It wasn’t the right time. I’m not doing this well, and I’m sorry if I’ve confused you further. I’ve told you I came here to help you, and that’s just what I need to do now. You’re not stupid. You know a bit of how I feel about you.” I stopped, feeling close to tears, and Heath noticed.
“It…it’s not that I don’t feel something too, Layla. It’s just…Daisy,” He smiled.
I cringed at his smile. I hated that he smiled when he said her name. I could feel my gut clench as my daemon wound its claw through my insides.
“I’m going to marry her,” He stated matter-of-factly.
I laughed sharply. I didn’t care I was being rude.
Should I remind him now that he is technically promised himself to me for all eternity?
“We can save that for later,” I said with a smirk. “Let me give you a history lesson- about someone, a kind of daemon.”
“Okay,” he sighed.
We perched ourselves on a fallen mesquite tree next to his fence line. Heath kept his distance, so I kept mine. As much as I wanted to touch him, for him to kiss me like he had last night, I didn’t push it.
“Have you ever heard about the unending fight between Heaven and Hell?”
“Sure angels versus daemons and stuff.”
“You know where daemons came from, right?”
“I grew up in church, Layla. I know all the stories.” He replied.
“Well, tell me what you know before I go any further.”
He scrunched his brow and began, “About angels? Okay. Well, God kicked out his favorite angel, Satan, because he thought he should be considered more important than man. God cast him down to Hell as well as the other angels that thought like him too.”
“Yeah, that’s right. Although most daemons just call him Samael.”
“Wait, please tell me you don’t know Satan,” he interrupted.
“No, thank God! But most beings refer to him as Samael- he is very powerful- the King of Hell.”
“So what do you have to add to the story?” Heath asked.
“There were other angels that fled Heaven for different reasons, Lillith was one of them. She decided to live with Samael. She loved power and wanted to make her own decisions and not follow the dictates of God or man, so she fell as well. Most consider her Samael’s wife, although she seldom acts the part…or maybe she does. I don’t know.”
“And do you know this daemon either?” He asked reading the disgusted look on my face.
“This one I know too well. She’s my mother. This mark,” I lifted my hair to reveal the swirling tattoo that shone in the light. It might have been considered beautiful, but knowing whose mark it was, I hated it, “It’s a sign of my birthright. It’s her mark- Lillith’s. It marks me as part daemon. My father is human, my mother is a daemon. I am a member of the half-blooded group called, Vulgars.”
“Is that what I am too?”
“Yes, but that comes later. You have to wait. Back to Lillith,” I continued, “I mentioned she doesn’t really like to follow orders, she’s kind of a bitch. She’s very underhanded and conniving.”
“Wouldn’t all daemons fall into that category?” Heath interrupted again.
“No, actually. All are evil, but not all of them are so smart. But this one, Lillith, she is. Many years back- I don’t actually know how long ago, she decided she needed to rule all three realms- Heaven, Hell, and Earth. Lillith asked another daemon, her biggest enemy, Orias, for help.”
“That name feels familiar.”
“It should- again, that comes later. Anyway, Orias was another super-smart and powerful general in Samael’s army. One of his powers is the ability to change fate.”
“Whoa- how can someone change fate? Fate, by definition, can’t be changed.” He paused, “Can it?” He deflated when I smiled with irritation, “I’m just gonna shut up for a while.”
“Good idea,” I agreed. “How about instead of change, we’ll just say he can adjust it a little. I don’t know how Orias does what he does. Maybe it’s a power that was left over from his time as an angel. I’ve never questioned the how of it all. Different daemons just have different abilities, and he is older and stronger than most.”
I breathed deeply and continued the history lesson, “Orias knew what Lillith was doing was stupid- no one could over throw the Lord. He knows everything, even before we do it. He lets our actions unfold on their own and leaves us to deal with the consequences. I’m sure it’s all part of some grand-master plan of His. So Orias cast a prophecy for her in exchange for what, I don’t know. The prophecy stated a daughter of Lillith would be born as a human, and through her, Lillith would bring end to the time on Man and become a ruler herself. The prophecy actually used the word Nightfall, meaning an end to life as we know it.”
“Wow, that sucks,” Heath consid
ered my words, “but this world is filled with different people prophesizing the end of the world. Look at Y2K? That didn’t happen. What makes you so sure Lillith and Orias could do any better?”
“Because the Nightfall that Orias wrote about in the stars- that daughter born from a human, that’s me. I’m the Nightfall. I am the daemon that will bring about the end of mankind.”
Heath looked at me, staring deep into my face for signs waiting for the punch line of a joke that would never come. He was incredulous, just like I was when the truth leaked into my life.
“So are you going to do that? End humanity and all that?”
“No,” I assured him, “Lillith forgot something important- the Lord gave humans the ability to make their own choices. And I have definitely chosen not to follow along with the prophecy. My name, Layla, means Nightfall. I can’t end this prophecy, but just like Orias, I can change it- not because I’m a daemon, but because as a human being I choose to do so. Nightfall doesn’t always have to be bad. It can mean the end of the way things are, and the beginning of something new.”
I remembered my real mother’s words to me, assuring me I wasn’t pure evil. I was designed as much for the good as I was for the bad. I hoped Heath would understand that too.
“Okay, I’m not quite sure I get everything you’re saying, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Go ahead and continue with your lesson.” He said with a sexy smirk. I wanted to kiss it off his face.
“Well that’s a little of my own history. Someday I can tell you more. The story doesn’t begin or end there, and I know you’re still wondering how this involves you. But just be patient, okay?”
“I thought I was,” he countered.
I narrowed my eyes and continued, “I told you I’m part human and part daemon, but there’s another part I haven’t mentioned.”
“Angel?” he asked.
“Uh…yeah.” I wondered when I had explained that to him.
“I did watch you heal someone, and you told me.”
“Oh. I guess I forgot that. But yeah I’m part angel too.”
The Porter Page 11
