by Laura Iding
"Grant?" Serena smoothed his sandy brown hair away from his forehead in a comforting gesture that was an innate part of her nursing care. Maybe her fingers lingered on his face longer than usual. "It's Serena again. I'm your nurse for the night."
Emma informed Serena that Cheryl was waiting in a small quiet room just outside the unit. Serena acknowledged the information with a nod but then her gaze landed on Jason. She jerked her chin in his direction.
"Hey, Em. How's the guy next door doing?"
Emma raised her eyebrow at Serena's blatant curiosity. "Actually, he's doing great. He woke up this evening and I think they're going to try to extubate him in the morning." She shook her head with a tired smile. "The cops can't wait. They have a lot of questions for that boy."
"I bet." Questions that he couldn't answer with a breathing tube stuck in his throat. Serena sighed and turned her attention back to Grant. "Thanks for the info. See you tomorrow."
Serena went about her duties, trying to ignore how helpless Grant looked wearing nothing but a hospital gown. Boy, he'd really hate knowing that once he awoke. She checked his vital signs and hung an antibiotic. She also gave him another shot of morphine, knowing that the small incremental doses wouldn't be enough to keep him from regaining consciousness. Hopefully the medication at least took the edge off his pain.
When she needed to check his thigh dressing, her fingers trembled a bit as she lifted his gown just high enough to see the edge of the incision. Her objectivity vanished, making her doubt the wisdom of her decision to take care of Grant as his nurse. When he awoke, would he resent the fact that she was here, seeing him at his most vulnerable?
"Serena?" one of her peers called from the nurses' station.
"Yes?" She applied a new dressing and walked to the open doorway. The police officer seated in the chair outside Jason's room gave her a polite greeting. Serena flashed a small smile in return.
"Your patient's sister, Cheryl, is calling from the quiet room. She wants to know if she can come back in to see him."
"Of course. Send her in.'' Serena quickly returned to Grant's bedside. She straightened the sheet covering him, then leaned over his bed. "Hey, Grant. Your sister is here to see you. She came all the way from Colorado, so maybe you can try to open your eyes for her."
Serena paused for a moment, searching for any kind of response. For a moment she thought his hand moved so she reached down to clasp it in hers. Longing hit hard and her fingers tightened imperceptibly at the familiar grip.
"Well, don't worry. I don't think she's going anywhere yet. We'll just have to wait until you're good and ready to wake up, won't we?" It was a rhetorical question, but that's what happened when you carried on a one-sided conversation. Serena gave Grant's hand a reassuring squeeze and wished he'd wake up.
"Hi. The nurse said I could come in."
Serena turned and mentally braced herself for the worst. She wondered if Grant had told his sister the reason they'd called off their engagement. She forced a smile. "Hello, Cheryl. How are you?"
"Serena?" Surprised and wary, Cheryl stepped through the doorway. "I didn't expect to find you here."
"I'm taking care of Grant."
"So I see." She stood on the opposite side of his bed, staring at him for a long time, her eyes slowly filling with despair. "What's wrong with him? Why hasn't he woken up yet?"
"Shh. It's OK." Serena wrapped her arms around Cheryl's shoulders, providing what little comfort she could offer. "I know how hard it is to believe, but he's doing just fine."
Cheryl's expression mirrored her doubt. "How can you tell? That he's doing better, I mean?"
"There's a number of things. I just turned off his blood-pressure medicine because he doesn't need it any more. His electrolytes are returning to normal and his blood count is stable. I know these sound like little things, but they're all signs he's getting better."
"I hope so." Cheryl sniffed and blinked back her tears. "How come you're taking care of him, Serena?"
"Because I care." She didn't know how to make Cheryl believe her. "I knew that getting married would have been the wrong thing for us, but you need to know, Cheryl, I didn't stop caring about Grant."
Cheryl was quiet for a moment, then dredged up a tremulous smile. "I'm glad you're here. I appreciate a friendly face."
"Me, too." Serena glanced back down at Grant and put a hand on his arm. "Just be patient. Hopefully he'll wake up soon."
The voice called again, this time clearer than before. He thought the melodious voice asked him to wake up and he tried to put out a hand to keep her talking. The pain still throbbed with every beat of his pulse but, instead of his entire body being engulfed in the sensation, he thought it was centered now on his chest and leg. Grant felt the familiar, soothing touch on his hand and concentrated on the voice. The voice could save him from the dark pain but why couldn't he open his eyes? The harder he tried to fight, the worse the pain became until he slid down once more into the well of blackness.
"I'm going to lie down in the quiet room," Cheryl informed Serena. "I'm beat. I don't know how you nurses manage to stay up all night. You'll call me if anything changes, won't you?"
"Of course." Serena nodded.
Cheryl hesitated in the doorway. "That boy in the next room, the one with the police officer sitting outside his door. He's the one who shot Grant, isn't he?"
Serena hesitated, then answered honestly. "Yes, the police think so. They were both brought in last night from the crime scene."
Cheryl frowned. "I'm not sure I like him right next door. But, then, I don't think I like him in the same hospital, or even the same city."
"I know what you mean." Serena shrugged. "I'm sorry. Most of our ICU beds were full at the time, so we didn't have many options."
Cheryl sighed and shook her head, her gaze drifting back to Jason. "He looks so young, barely old enough to drive. It sure makes you wonder, doesn't it?" Without waiting for an answer, Cheryl bid her goodnight.
Serena looked back at Grant and speculated, not for the first time, about what had happened last night. One cop dead, another mortally wounded—she could almost imagine the sound of gunfire exploding through the silence of the night. Serena knew Grant well enough to know that he wasn't reckless by nature. But he didn't back down from a fight either. That was one of the things she loved about him, and the characteristic she dreaded the most.
Why had he been on the scene so late last night? Detectives didn't usually work such long hours. He wasn't a beat cop any more. Why couldn't someone else have responded instead?
She sighed. Detective or not, Grant was a cop. Nothing would change that fact. So what had been the cause of such needless death? A drug deal gone bad? An argument over gang turf? Serena had worked long enough in critical care to know that not only did the seedy side of life exist, those who lived it were constantly in battle over some stupid thing or another. She couldn't imagine what satisfaction Grant gained from fighting on the losing side of that war.
Leaving people like her to piece the casualties back together again. As far as she was concerned, heroes were vastly overrated. They couldn't keep you company in the darkest hours of the night because they were only human. And those who courted death too often eventually paid the price.
Her brother Eric had been the same. He hadn't listened to her concerns either.
Serena pushed herself away from Grant's bed and busied herself with the other small tasks that needed to be done. Since her brother's death, she'd understood her own limitations. And had learned to live with them. She'd experienced too many losses to take life for granted. All she wanted was to lead a normal life, maybe even someday have a family. That wasn't too much to ask, was it? But watching Grant lying in a hospital bed and fighting for his life reopened old wounds, making them ooze.
"Rena?" Dana poked her head into Grant's room. "There's a phone call for you. Marta, I think she said."
Eager for the distraction, Serena dashed to the phone. "Marta? You f
ound him?''
"He just came home." The earlier fear in Marta's voice was now punctuated with barely suppressed anger. "Can you believe it? He strolls in at two in the morning, as if nothing is wrong."
Serena winced. Ouch. "Where was he?"
"I don't know." Marta's tone reflected her frustration. "He's not telling."
The sinking feeling in her stomach intensified. Serena feared Rico was up to no good. There had been lots of rumors about gangs moving into the outskirts of the city. Into the park located just down the street from the school. "Look, I'll talk to him tomorrow. Right now, I need to get back to work."
"OK. Gracias, Serena."
Lost in thought, Serena returned to Grant's room where she found Dana waiting for her. She sighed. "Hi, Dana."
Her friend raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you need any help?"
Serena gave up trying to dodge the questions she knew were coming. Throwing a lopsided smile at her friend, she nodded. "Sure, help me turn him."
"So what gives?" Dana asked as they eased the muscular bulk of Grant over to his left side. Serena propped a pillow behind his back to keep him there. "I almost fell over when I saw your name next to Grant's on the assignment board. Are you trying to torture yourself over past mistakes? I practically had to twist your arm to get you to cover for me last night."
"How is your mother, by the way? Is she doing any better?" Serena carefully lifted Grant's right arm, placing another pillow beneath it, to keep the weight off his chest incision.
For a moment a dark cloud settled over Dana's delicate facial features. "Actually, she's not tolerating the chemotherapy treatments very well." Dana hesitated, then confided, "I'm thinking of asking for some time off to take care of her full time."
Serena threw her friend a startled glance. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? I could check on her between shifts."
Dana shook her head. "It's sweet of you to offer, but I think I can handle it for now. But let's get back to the subject at hand."
"I won't lie to you, Dana. Last night they pulled me down to the trauma room." Serena blew her wispy bangs off her forehead, sweating from the exertion of moving Grant. "I helped resuscitate him while the place swarmed with cops."
Dana winced, familiar with the circumstances surrounding Eric's death. "I'm sorry that you had to relive those painful memories. But maybe it's for the better. Now that you've made it past the first hurdle, you might consider applying for your old job."
"I'm not going back," Serena warned, giving Grant another dose of morphine. Prior to working in the ICU she'd worked the trauma room. "But I couldn't leave him either. Not without seeing this through. I won't be satisfied until he's up on his feet."
Dana sighed, glancing down at Grant. "I wish you'd reconsider. Avoiding the past isn't the same thing as dealing with it. Grant isn't your brother. He'll make it. He's made it this far, hasn't he?"
Serena narrowed her gaze. "Eric took all the necessary precautions, and nothing could save him. Grant wasn't even wearing body armor. By rights, he should already be dead."
"So now you're mad because he didn't die?" Dana threw up her hands in defeat. "You're not making any sense, Serena."
"I suppose not." Serena didn't understand the bitter emotion that threatened to choke her. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I'm still angry that Grant didn't love me enough to consider a less dangerous position."
"But you're here, taking care of him."
"Yeah. I guess." Dana was right, no point in arguing that one.
Dana left to take care of her own patients. Serena stared down at Grant for a long moment then she reluctantly left the bedside to tend to her second patient. The woman was an elderly woman who had come down with pneumonia after undergoing a hip replacement. Luckily, the woman's ventilator settings indicated she was getting stronger. They were slowly but surely weaning her from the vent. Serena estimated that she'd be out of Intensive Care in a few days.
An hour or so later, the unit clerk called out to her.
"Serena?"
She glanced up from her paperwork.
"There's another cop down in the waiting room, asking to see Grant."
Serena lifted an irritated eyebrow and glanced at the time. "At this hour? Well, I suppose they work odd shifts, so go ahead and let him in."
Intent on her work, she didn't see the officer go into Grant's room. She finished her note, then crossed the hall to give the officer an update on Grant's condition.
The figure bending over Grant's bedside brought her up short. The cop was female, with long, wavy brunette hair. Serena swallowed a gasp. The woman in the picture she'd glimpsed in Grant's wallet.
Serena almost spun around on her heel to leave them alone. She wanted to be anywhere but watching this. But she forced herself to stay put. Clearly, this woman meant something to him. Whoever the brunette was, she'd want an update on Grant's condition.
Serena took a step into the room, pasting a bright smile on her face. "Can I help you?''
The woman whirled at the sound of her voice, thrusting her hands into her pockets and flashing Serena a sorrowful look. "Are you Grant's nurse? Can you tell me how he's doing?"
"Yes, my name is Serena. His condition has stabilized."
"Loren." The brunette introduced herself in return. "I don't understand. Why isn't he awake yet?"
Serena shrugged. Her gaze dropped down to Loren's left hand. She didn't know why the absence of a ring made her feel better. For all she knew, Grant already had another ring bought and paid for, just waiting for the right time to pop the question. She tore her mind from her traitorous thoughts. "I know this is difficult. He'll wake up when his body is ready."
"Does he know I'm here?" Serena could see the skepticism in the other woman's gaze.
"It's possible. Hearing is the last sense to go and the first to return. Often patients tell me how they heard me talking to them long before they were able to respond." Serena wondered if Grant would react to the sound of Loren's voice better than he had to hers. She shoved aside another wave of jealousy. "Go ahead and talk to him."
"I'm here, Grant." Loren spoke so softly, Serena wasn't sure he'd be able to hear over the noisy unit activity. "Please, get better soon. I miss you."
The words cut deep. Serena had suspected the worst when she'd stumbled across the picture, but seeing the reality of the closeness of their relationship was worse.
Much, much worse.
"Are you all right?" Loren was actually looking at her with concern.
Serena forced herself to give a jerky nod. "I... have to go. You can stay only a few minutes. Grant needs his sleep."
"I understand." Loren backed away from Grant's bedside. She looked pale, as if she might be feeling ill. "If—when he wakes up, will you tell him I was here?"
"Sure." She followed the other woman from the room, her mind still reeling from the shock of seeing them together. She'd always known that Grant had wanted to settle down. To eventually have a family. Hadn't they both spent hours planning their own? This wasn't Grant's fault. She had been the one who'd broken their engagement, not the other way around. Obviously, Loren, a cop herself, didn't mind his chosen profession.
The truth didn't offer one bit of comfort.
Luckily, her dual patient load kept her too busy to brood. Hard work and long hours had been her salvation once before. She was sure the strategy would work again. During the next lull in activity, Serena tried once more to see if she could rouse Grant. Trying not to think about Loren taking her place in Grant's life, she slipped her hand into his. She almost fell over when his fingers curled around hers in a firm grip.
The movement was probably pure reflex, yet Serena couldn't help feeling encouraged by his strength. She left one hand in his while the other stroked the upper part of his arm lightly. The hard muscle-beneath her fingertips was achingly familiar.
"Grant, can you hear me? You had emergency surgery last night, but you're doing much better now. We're just w
aiting for you to wake up then we can take that nasty breathing tube out of your throat."
Serena paused, staring down at their joined hands, but whatever movement she'd noted earlier was absent now. His bluntly callused fingers were relaxed, far too pale against the sheets.
"I'm sure that tube hurts like heck, but you won't be able to talk until it comes out." Serena could barely speak past the lump of emotion that welled in her throat.
She waited a heartbeat, swallowing hard before asking softly, "Grant, can you open your eyes for me? Please?"
The voice of his angel was back and this time he was determined not to lose it. The pain still rolled over him in waves, but he determinedly fought it back. He grasped the hand near his as if it were a lifeline and concentrated on the voice.
He became aware of the breathing tube she'd talked about and fought down a surge of panic at her words. Easy now, one step at a time—he wanted to see the woman whose voice brought him out of the darkness.
Grant pried his eyelids open and a blurred face swam in the dim light above his head. He blinked once, and then again as slowly the features cleared. A beautiful face, classic cheekbones framed with riotous red-gold curls, familiar luminous blue eyes...
Serena.
CHAPTER FOUR
Serena almost laughed out loud when Grant's eyes opened for the first time, and while he blinked in an attempt to focus she gently encouraged him.
"That's right. Look at me, Grant. You're in the hospital." Her voice cracked and she swiped away a stray tear, trying to remember all the things she needed to tell him now that she knew he was awake. "You had surgery last night. The doctor removed a portion of your lung and repaired the muscle in your left thigh. Everything went fine, just don't try to move around too much yet."
Grant held onto Serena's hand tightly as he continued to stare at her. She knew he couldn't speak and simply holding his hand in hers was enough. Then she suddenly remembered his sister, sitting in the quiet room all alone. "I forgot to mention that Cheryl is here, too. She'll be glad to see you're awake. I'll call her for you right now."
