White Bear could hardly believe the story, but the way the woman looked at him... "How does she know? I am grown now," he told Runner. "Perhaps she is mistaken."
He waited. The woman spoke, and Runner translated that she knew where his scars were and what caused them.
"It is easy to talk of scars. She can easily see them,"
White Bear answered. "Other whites have been captured over the years. Perhaps I came from some other white family."
As Runner translated, a lump rose in Letty's throat. Though she had just saved his life, her son was looking at her now as if he might kill her as easily as a rabbit or a deer. "Tell him I know his horse and belongings were taken by the Indians who got away," she told Runner. "Tell him I think that among those belongings is something I am betting he has kept all these years. Perhaps he thinks it is an omen, some kind of charm that brings him luck." She looked at Nathan. "Ask him if he carries a small brown stuffed horse with him. It had one eye made from a button. The other eye was missing."
When Runner had interpreted her words, White Bear was astonished. He had had the horse ever since he could remember, and even now it was inside a parfleche that was tied to the neck of his horse.
"Your mother made the horse for you. She sewed it with her own hands," Runner told him, "many years ago, when you were only one summer."
White Bear stared at the woman with the fascinating green eyes. There was a look there that told him not to be afraid. "Yes," he answered. "I have a stuffed horse. Now both eyes are missing."
When Runner translated his words, the white woman covered her face and wept. The white man with her put his arms around her. She said something to him through her tears, and the white man in turn spoke to the Crow Indian.
"The white man wants you to let a doctor fix your wound. He is a good doctor. You can trust him. I would not lie to you, even though I know you hate me because I am Crow," Runner told Nathan. "Your mother wants to take you from here so that you will not be harmed. She wishes to take you to her home, where those people outside will not bother you. You have brothers and sisters there, people who would take care of you. Your mother would like you to stay there with them forever, but she says that when you are well, you will be free to choose, to stay with them, or go back to Half Nose and the Sioux."
White Bear watched the woman cry. Considering what she knew about him, she must be his white mother. If this was true, she surely would not lie to him. He moved his gaze to the man holding her, studied his blue eyes, saw honesty there, and something else. The man looked at him lovingly, as a man would look at his son. Something told him he could trust these people. He did not like the idea of staying with a whole family of whites, but for the moment he had no choice. The bullet in his side burned fiercely. He knew he needed help. He told Runner he would go with them... for now. As soon as he was well, he was returning to his people, and to Half Nose, the only man he knew as father. He saw pain in Luke Fontaine's eyes when the Crow interpreted his words.
Luke turned to the sheriff. "Go get Doc Manning."
Tracy nodded and left. Luke gave Lettie a hug. "You keep your distance until the doc gets him sedated," he told her. "Keep in mind that in his mind and heart he's still Sioux. I'm going to take care of that crowd outside."
He left her then, and Lettie could hear him arguing with the people outside the jail. If anyone could straighten them out and make them leave, it was Luke and his men. How sad that now she had to defend her precious son against those who accused him of killing innocent whites. She felt so sorry for Jim Woodward's orphaned daughters. Could her Nathan have done such a horrible thing? She refused to believe it.
She ached to hold him, embrace him. What did he think of her? That she had abandoned him? That she had given up on him? Where had her bright, smiling little Nathan gone, the little boy who clung to that bear so tightly when Half Nose tore him away from her? He lay there painted and half-naked, his hair grown long. There was so much she wanted to know and learn, and so much he needed to learn in return. She closed her eyes and thanked God for bringing her son back to her. Surely he didn't mean it when he said he would go back to his people when he was well. The Sioux were not his people. She and Luke, Katie, Ty, Pearl, Robbie, and Paul—they were his people.
"I love you, Nathan. I never stopped loving, or hoping, or praying. We're taking you home, son."
She knew he didn't understand, but the words sounded good, words she had begun to think she would never be able to say. She stepped closer to the cot, knelt beside it. Again she touched his arm, and this time he did not try to jerk it away. He just watched her in wonder. She rested her head against his arm and wept.
CHAPTER 17
Luke carried Nathan out of the jail in his arms, to a waiting wagon Henny had brought to take him home in. Dr. Manning had sedated him with laudanum before removing the bullet from his side, and he was still groggy enough not to put up a fight or to notice the crowd of onlookers. Will helped Luke get the boy into the wagon, laying him on a bed of straw covered with blankets.
Luke worried that none of this would end the way Let-tie hoped it would. She herself had helped Doc Manning operate on the boy, and while he was being stitched up and bandaged, Lettie took advantage of his sedated condition, stroking his hair, kissing his cheek, talking to him as though he were four years old again. The doctor had said Nathan would be all right, but what about Lettie? Her wounds ran much deeper. What if she lost him again? What would it do to their marriage, and how was he going to handle his own guilt?
He helped Lettie climb into the wagon so she could sit beside her son. He was irritated at the gawking, whispering onlookers, some of the men still bent on hanging the boy. His men surrounded the wagon, keeping people at bay. He put a blanket over Nathan, then stood up in the wagon bed and looked out at the townspeople.
"This young man is our son, and we're taking him home," he told them. "He was only four when he was stolen from us, back when Billings could hardly even be called a town, and when most of you hadn't even come here yet! The boy can't be blamed for the way he is, and no one can prove he killed anybody. I'm damn sorry for what happened to Jim Woodward. He was a good friend of mine, but I'm not going to let you hang my son, not just for his sake, but for my wife's. I'll kill any man who tries to hurt him!"
As he climbed down from the wagon, people stepped back.
"You're askin' for trouble, Luke," one man warned. "His people will come after him, maybe kill all of you."
"I have too much help at the Double L to worry about Indians. And any of you thinking of coming and getting my boy will have to go through my men first!"
"Once you breed wild ways into a man, he can't be changed," another called out. "You keep that boy on the Double L, Fontaine. We can't guarantee what will happen to him if he shows up in town."
Luke turned to see who had spoken. It was Clarence Goodman, a farmer who two years ago had decided to squat on government land rather than file a legal claim. He had put barbed wire around his place, causing injury to several of Luke's steers. Goodman had vacated his farm after Luke and his men tore down the fence and had deliberately allowed Fontaine cattle to graze on Goodman's corn. Luke hated the man for his cockiness, and for not trying to build his farm the right way. He had little use for farmers in general, but he tried to be fair with the ones who were respectful of other peoples' property.
Luke approached Goodman, towering over him. "I can guarantee what will happen to you if you lay a hand on my son!" he growled.
Goodman swallowed, and tried to stand his ground.
"It ain't right—"
"Shut up, Goodman!" Joe Parker spoke the words.
"The boy can't be totally blamed, and if it was any of our kids, we'd want to try to help them, just like Luke's doing. Any mother would want to have her son back. Give them a chance, and let poor Mrs. Fontaine enjoy the fact that she has found her son."
"I'm with Luke," Carl Rose spoke up.
"So am I," Sheriff Tracy put
in.
Will and several others voiced their support.
"Which one of you is gonna string up a fourteen-year-old boy in front of his own ma after she's been prayin' to find him for ten years?" Will asked them.
They all looked sheepish, and a couple of women quietly dabbed at their eyes.
"You all remember one thing," Will said then. "That there boy is white! No matter how he looks now or what he's done or how he's been raised, he was born white. He's one of us! He's a victim of our trouble with the Sioux just the same as those who've lost their lives. Luke and Lettie, they come here before most of you, been through hell to help settle this land. Let them take their son home in peace."
The crowd began to disperse. Luke climbed back into the wagon to be with Lettie. Luke's men took hold of the reins to Will's, Luke's, and Lettie's horses to bring them along, and Will perched himself beside Henny in the wagon seat and snapped the reins over the rumps of the mules pulling the wagon. As the wagon lurched forward, Henny looked back in wonder at Nathan, remembering a beautiful, blond little boy who had been playful and loving, always smiling. She remembered how he'd loved to chase her cat, Patch, who had died several years ago.
Lettie was remembering, too... a smiling, gentle child who had once brought her a bouquet of little purple flowers, smiling proudly because he'd made his mommy smile.
White bear opened his eyes, lying still for a moment to gather his thoughts. As his vision focused, he turned his head to see a little red-headed girl staring at him from the doorway. She immediately turned and ran.
"Mommy! Mommy! He's awake!"
White Bear had no idea what the words meant. He only knew he was in a very strange place, lying on a bed so soft it was almost uncomfortable. For years he had slept on robes on the ground. He did not like this bed, nor did he like this strange dwelling, hard walls all around, odd structures of wood sitting about. He could see light through openings in the walls, but when he looked up, there was no sky! There was not even a hole, like in the top of a tepee.
Panic began to build inside him. He felt closed in. How could he commune with the Great Spirit in a place like this? The Great Spirit would never find him in here! He had to get out. He started to rise, but pain pierced his side, and he realized only then that his hands and feet were tied to the posts of the soft bed.
He heard some kind of commotion somewhere below him, then pounding footsteps, rising, coming closer. "Hurry!" he heard a woman saying. "He's in the guest room."
A herd of white people entered his room then. He strained at his ropes for a moment. Then he saw her... that woman with the dark red hair and green eyes... the one who said she was his mother. She was the first one through the door, followed by the Crow Indian who knew the Sioux tongue. Then came the tall white man with the blue eyes, followed by a string of young ones. They circled his bed and gawked at him as though he were a ghost.
The woman smiled, touched his arm. She said something to the Crow man.
"She says to tell you she is sorry about the ropes. If you would promise not to run away, she will untie them. She wishes to know how you are feeling."
White Bear looked around at all the staring eyes. Surrounded by whites, and by walls! He hated this place! "Well enough to get away from here," he answered Runner. "I do not like these walls. I want to see the sky. The Great Spirit cannot find me in this place." He was surprised at the understanding look in the Crow man's eyes. Yes, even though he was his enemy, this man was still Indian. He said something to the woman, then looked back at him.
"I am called Runner, in case you do not remember. The woman who is your white mother is called Lettie, and her husband's name is Luke. Do you remember they told you they are your mother and father?"
White Bear studied them, noticing the white man watched him with a look of love and terrible sadness in his blue eyes. "I remember," he answered.
"Lettie says that as soon as you are strong enough, she will take you out where you can see the sky. The openings where you see the light are called windows. She says she will take away the coverings over them, and she will open the windows themselves, so that you can smell the air and see the sun and sky through them. The Great Spirit will be able to come through the openings and find you."
The woman rattled on about something else, all the while rubbing at his arm and watching him with such love in her eyes that much of his initial fear of being in this place left him. Following her instructions, Runner introduced the children as his brothers and sisters. The one called Katie was tall for being almost eleven summers. He wondered how soon she might marry. In the eyes of the Sioux, she was almost old enough. She was already developing breasts. The oldest boy was Tyler. He, too, was tall and looked older than ten years. The pretty little girl who had gone running out of the room was Pearl, Runner told him. White Bear had never seen such bright red hair. She had the same unusual green eyes as her mother.
These white people certainly had hair and eyes of many colors. Half Nose had kept him away from white people, and he had imagined they were all the same as himself, with light hair and pale blue eyes, but all around him were different-colored eyes and different-colored hair. Some had skin as pale as the clouds, others, like the tall one called Luke, were dark from the sun.
Next came a boy called Robert. "He will be seven when the leaves turn to gold," Runner told him. "The youngest is Paul. He was five only two moons ago. Lettie says to tell you they are all your brothers and sisters, and that you are welcome to stay here with them, learn the white man's ways. You have a home here, and will be loved and cared for. You are her natural son, a white man. It is right that you stay. These are your people, Nathan. That is your real name. Nathan Lee Fontaine."
White Bear looked around at all of them. "I have not said I would stay," he told Runner. "And I do not wish to be called Nathan. I am White Bear. And the woman should not look upon me as though I am a small boy. I am a man! I am fourteen summers, and one summer ago I sacrificed blood at the Sun Dance. She can see the scars on my breasts."
Runner translated, and the woman called Lettie looked ready to weep when her eyes fell on the scars.
"I told her earlier about the Sun Dance and how sacred it is, what an honor it is to make the sacrifice," Runner told him. "It made her proud, but also sad that her son suffered this way. She wishes for you to stay long enough to learn enough words that she can talk to you. She wants to teach you about her God, who is not so different from the Great Spirit. Perhaps they are the same. She wants you to give yourself time to learn the white man's ways. It is only right, for you are white. You are not Sioux."
White Bear looked up at the Indian. "You keep saying this, as though you have to keep reminding me. But in my heart I am Sioux! I know you understand how I am feeling. You tell her the Indian way is a good way. Half Nose is a good father to me. He has taught me well, taught me to be a man. He showed me love, and his wife was like a mother to me. His children are my brothers and sisters, the same as these white children around me. But I do not know these white children. I do not care for them the way I care for my Sioux brothers and sisters. I must go back to them. Half Nose will worry. He will think I am dead and he will be very sad. I must go back. My people are hungry and dying. Most of the buffalo are gone. That is why we steal the white man's cows. We are starving. The land that was supposed to be left to us and to the buffalo has been stolen away by the white man. We have no place to go and nothing to eat! The young ones like myself must hunt and steal to live."
"You could go to the reservation. There you get blankets, food—"
White Bear cursed with such venom that Lettie drew in her breath and pulled her hand away. Runner explained all that he had said, then spoke to Nathan again.
"She says if you hate the reservation so, then you can live right here. You are white. You don't need to live on a reservation, nor do you need to live with the renegade Sioux, who will surely die in the end."
White Bear suddenly wanted to cry. He looked into
his mother's eyes, not sure how to feel about her. "Tell her that if they must die, then I shall die with them. No man of pride lives on the reservation, begging for his food and blankets, sitting there useless, unable to hunt or make war, nothing to do but sit and wait for death. We refuse to die like cowards. We will ride free and hunt and live where we choose, as we have always done. Tell the woman she must understand that in my heart I am not white, and I cannot stay."
"She saved your life, Nathan," Runner reminded him.
White Bear kept his eyes on his mother. "For this I am grateful, and for this, I can promise that my people will never attack her or her husband or her children or anyone on her husband's land. Nor will we kill and eat any of his beef. We only wish permission to ride across his land without being harmed. I will tell this to Half Nose, and he will agree."
Runner sighed and related his words to Lettie. Lettie closed her eyes, covered her face for a moment before speaking again.
"Your mother asks if you will stay one month, one full moon. After that you are free to choose."
White Bear thought for several quiet seconds, sorry for the sorrow in the woman's eyes. "I will stay," he answered. "But if she tells the truth that I will be free to leave if I choose, then she must prove it by releasing the ropes around my wrists and feet now."
When Runner had interpreted, Lettie looked at Luke.
He took something from the pocket of his pants then, unfolding a blade to make it turn into a small knife. White Bear was amazed at the sight of it, a knife that opened and closed! He watched warily as the man called Luke came closer and used the knife to cut the ropes. So, he thought, the white woman is true to her word. He reached up, pointed at the knife, told Runner to tell Luke he wanted to look at it more closely. Luke knelt beside him, closed it, opened it again. He handed it to White Bear, who studied it carefully, then closed it again. Luke said something to Runner, who told Nathan that Luke wanted to give him the knife, a gift from his white father. "He says you must promise never to harm anyone in his family with the knife."
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