"Come back by the stove, Alice." He put a hand to her waist and led her over to the stove. "I really am sorry about what I said, especially with you just losing your mother."
She blew her nose. "We only came here for Christmas because your mother invited us... out of the goodness of her heart," she sniffed. "If she had some other motive... I wouldn't know about it. And I only came out here because I care about you, and I think you're wrong to be hurting people the way you are, Ty... and to be staying alone like this... especially at Christmas. It's been way over a year since Ramona died." She met his eyes. "Ty, your own parents lost a son. I remember people said they had a lot of troubles for a while after that. Now look at them. They're such a loving, happy couple. They got through it, Ty, and they survived. My own father lost his wife after being together twenty-five years! How do you think that feels? Life goes on, Ty, and people make choices. Ramona made her choice, and that accident was no one's fault but her own."
He folded his arms for warmth, staying near the stove. "Everybody scared her with all their talk of how other people would make it hard for us, how our being so different would have caused problems."
"It did cause problems, before you could even marry her. Don't you see that? Ty, maybe she loved you more than you loved her."
He scowled, anger coming into his eyes. "What the hell does that mean?"
"She knew, Ty. She knew everybody else was probably right. And she loved you so much she didn't want to take the chance of making you unhappy. She had the courage to back out of it, to do what she knew was best for you, no matter how much it hurt. That's how much she loved you."
He looked away. "And I loved her enough to face the risks."
Alice leaned down and opened the draft on the stove a little so it would burn harder. "Ty, I think part of your anger is at yourself. I think you know that deep inside she did love you more than you loved her. Just ask yourself. Could you have given up the Double L for Ramona?"
He turned, meeting her gaze with a frown. "Give up the Double L?"
"Yes. If things had gotten so bad for her that she couldn't stand to live around here anymore, could you have left, for her sake?"
He just stared at her for several quiet seconds, then turned away again. "That isn't a fair question."
"I think it is. I know you loved her very much, Ty. But I think you love the Double L more, and you love your parents. You think you hate Nathan, but you only hate him because you know he was right all along."
"I don't want to hear that. You'd better leave, Alice."
She drew in her breath. "Fine." She walked to the door. "Please think about everything I've said, Ty, and come spend Christmas Day with us." She turned to face him once more, holding her chin high in an effort to keep her courage. "And remember one more thing. I love you, Ty. I've loved you since I was twelve years old. I'm twenty now, and I have had lots of young men court me, want to marry me. So far I have always turned them down, because of how I feel about you. I can't turn them down forever, Ty. I want to be married, to have a family. If that sounds terribly bold, I don't care. You should know how I feel. I know that Ramona must have loved you very much, but I know in my heart that I love you more, and I understand you and your way of life better than she ever could have." She dropped her gaze then and turned away. "I know from talk that you had already... been with her. I've never... I never had the chance to have that kind of hold on you, and I don't know how I would compare; but I can learn... and there isn't another man in all of Montana I'd rather have teach me."
She ran out then, closing the door behind her. It didn't catch properly, and the wind blew it open again. Tyler hurried to close it, watching after her, but she had already disappeared into the darkness. The wind was beginning to blow harder, its howling gale carrying with it heavy snows that made it difficult even to see the lights of the house. Ty strained to catch a glimpse of those lights, aching inside to be up there with the family, but a stubborn hatred and determination kept him alone in his cabin.
He closed the door and bolted it, then walked back to the stove, his thoughts whirling in a confused mixture of memories of Ramona and visions of Alice Richards, who in many ways reminded him of his mother in her strength and personality. He and Alice had always been good friends, and he supposed that was as important to love and marriage as anything. That was one thing that had always been a part of his parents' relationship.
His thoughts were interrupted then when above the howling wind he thought he heard the sound of horses whinnying in alarm. Another sound brought all senses alert —the growl of a bobcat. He quickly grabbed his hooded wolfskin coat and a pair of wolfskin gloves and hurried out into the night to check the horses.
Everyone gathered in the parlor—Luke and Lettie, Brad and Katie and their four children. The baby, Jeffrey, was sitting in Katie's lap, Paul sat on Luke's knee, while Rachael Ann and Robert played near the fireplace with blocks.
Nathan teased Leena that in a few months they would not both fit in the love seat where they sat together now because she would be big with child again. Little Luke and his sister Julie sat on the floor in front of Nathan and Leena, giggling about how they were going to help their mother with the new baby that was due next summer.
Alice was at the piano, and her father sat nearby, smiling with everyone else; but his eyes showed the strain of his recent loss. At the moment Lettie was more concerned about Alice. She had obviously been crying when she came back from visiting Ty. The thought that Ty must have said something to hurt her made her angry with her son, and she felt like walking out to the cabin and giving him a good piece of her mind and making him come to the house. In two days it would be Christmas. It was time he rejoined his family and put Ramona behind him, time to think about someone else. She had no doubt whatsoever that Alice Richards loved Ty as much, probably more, than Ramona had.
She checked her anger and reminded herself this was to be a time of togetherness and celebration. She hoped inviting William and Alice would help get them through what would have been a lonely Christmas for them. She missed Betty Richards herself. The woman had been active in the women's club, and was a good friend to all. It didn't seem fair that God should take away so many good people.
"Please understand that I couldn't begin to be as good at this as Pearl is," Alice told them all with a bashful smile, referring to her piano playing. They had gathered together to sing Christmas carols, fifteen of them including Mae. Mae's husband, Bob Franks, had died the past winter from a heart attack, and Mae had stayed on, feeling a part of the family.
Alice had volunteered to play piano for them. It felt good to Lettie to have the house so full again. Outside the wind and snow threatened to keep them all there for days, maybe longer, and she was glad now she had thought of this. If the snow was going to keep them inside, it was certainly not going to be a lonely time for Luke and her. As was a Fontaine tradition, on Christmas Day all the Double L men, and even those with families, were welcome to come to the main house at various times throughout the day and eat, and she always made sure there was some kind of little present for everyone. She could only pray that this year Ty would come, too, and she wished Pearl and Robbie could also be there.
Alice began playing "Silent Night," and Lettie could hardly sing the words because of the lump that formed in her throat. As always, she had had Double L men cut and erect a huge tree in the parlor, and presents spilled out over the floor. She remembered other Christmases, the children all little and at home, the house filled with excitement. She could even remember little Paul's last Christmas. She glanced at Julie, who held a ragged, mended, stuffed horse— Nathan's horse. How could her son be twenty-five years old now? It seemed impossible.
She moved her gaze to Luke. He had set Paul down so he could run off and play, and now Robert sat on his knee. Luke was fifty-one now, but still solid and handsome, although more gray showed in his dark hair. She was forty-one herself, and although Luke still told her she looked hardly different fr
om the eighteen-year-old woman he had brought to this wild land, she knew better. Her hands and face were more wrinkled, her own hair showing some gray; but she was proud that she had kept a slender figure. Their lovemaking had only gotten better with age, sweeter, more fulfilling.
They started the second verse of "Silent Night," when they were interrupted by someone pounding on the door. Mae hurried out to answer it, and they all waited. "I need to see Luke," came a deep voice. Lettie recognized it as Grady Rutledge, a hired hand who had been with them now for three years. He was a big, bearded man, and as with most of the men who worked here, they knew little about his past. They knew only that he was single and thirty years old when they hired him, and that he had worked on ranches in Texas for years. He had turned out to be as valuable as Tex had once been.
Grady came lumbering into the parlor, wearing denim pants and leather winter boots. His fur-lined deerskin coat made him seem even bigger. He removed a fur cap, and his thick hair stood out in messy strands. "I'm sorry, Mr. Fontaine, to interrupt things here, but I thought you should know." The man looked nervous and embarrassed.
Luke grasped hold of Robert and put him down as he got to his feet. "Know what?"
"Ty. A damn bobcat came around the barn and scared the horses. That damn black stallion he likes so well kicked his way right out of his stall and took off. Ty came to the bunkhouse and told us he was going after it."
Luke frowned in concern. "In this weather? For God's sake, he knows better than that! In a storm like this you can get four feet of snow overnight! He could get lost!"
"I know. I told him he shouldn't go, but you know how he's been these last few months. He don't listen to a damn thing anybody says. I told him we can all go look for the horse in the morning, weather permitting, but he just got mad and said he could find it himself."
Luke glanced at Nathan. Both of them knew Ty had never quite gotten over the fact that it was Nathan who had tamed the horse in the first place, after Tyler had been unsuccessful at it. He was not about to let Nathan be the one to go out and rescue the animal now. "That boy's pride is going to kill him someday," Luke muttered. He walked toward the hallway. "I'd better go try to find him."
"Luke, no!" Lettie protested, getting up from her own chair. "You can't go out there in the dark. You can't see anything. How would you know where to begin to look? You don't even know which way he went."
"What the hell else can I do?"
"She's right, Luke. Ain't no man that's going to find his way around out there tonight," Grady told him. "The wind is howlin' somethin' awful, and the snow is pilin' up and it's black as tar out there. I can't imagine how Ty could think he could find that damn horse in weather like this. Far as I'm concerned, the horse ought to be shot. He's been nothin' but a troublemaker ever since the boy first captured him."
Luke rubbed at his eyes. "In more ways than one," he commented. He looked at Lettie, his blue eyes showing the agony that was always there when he feared for one of his children.
"I can find him," Nathan spoke up.
Luke and Lettie both looked at him. Nathan had walked out into the hallway to stand near them. "What makes you so sure?" Luke asked.
"I know the horse, for one thing. A horse nearly always goes back to what he thinks of as home. The stallion will go back to Red Canyon, where he was captured. Tyler knows this. He will go there."
"He'll never make it in this weather," Grady spoke up. "A man loses his way real easy in a snow like this."
Nathan held Luke's eyes. "I will not get lost. The Sioux have ways of surviving this kind of weather. They can find their way in the worst of storms, and can track through almost any kind of snow. At first light I will go. You will stay here. My mother does not need to be worrying about both you and Tyler. I can do it better by myself."
"But both of my sons will be out there," Lettie said. "That's just as bad as Luke and Tyler both being lost."
"But I will not be lost. Do not worry about me, Mother. I can do it."
"You'd be risking your life for someone who professes to hate you," Luke reminded him.
Nathan smiled sadly. "I do not believe that Tyler hates me as much as he says. Perhaps it is best that I am the one who finds him, the one to help him if he is hurt." He looked at his mother. "I need to do this."
She nodded, tears in her eyes. She embraced him then, taking comfort in the fact that he moved his own arms around her. "Nathan, if we lose Tyler—"
"I know." He looked at Luke. "I will find him."
In the parlor Alice had left the piano and stood at a window. She pulled back a curtain and saw nothing but blackness, except for snow that was sticking to the outside of the window. An ugly fear gripped her that Tyler had gone deliberately, maybe hoping to die. Was it something she had said? She closed her eyes and prayed for him.
CHAPTER 37
Ty opened his eyes to see a blurry figure leaning over him. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd left to find Ebony. He vaguely remembered leaning into the terrible storm, finding his way toward Red Canyon by sheer instinct, or so he thought. By morning light... was that yesterday? Two days ago? By morning light he could see nothing but a sea of white, the snow so blinding he couldn't even spot the tops of mountains or anything else he normally used for guidance. He remembered his horse stumbling and falling over a rock hidden by the snow. He had had to shoot the animal, one of his favorite riding and cutting horses. He had never spotted Ebony.
"Pa?" Was that who he saw? How long had he lain here next to his dead horse? At first he had used the animal's warmth to help protect himself, but soon the horse was frozen stiff. He supposed maybe he was, too, but strangely, he felt warm instead of cold. He faintly remembered someone telling him once that when a man froze to death, there was no pain, no sensation of truly being cold.
"It is Nathan," came a voice. "You need help, Ty, or you will die."
Tyler blinked, trying to focus. Nathan? Why had Nathan come? How had he managed to find him? The worst storm he could remember was raging around him. He was lost, sure no one else would ever find him. He felt himself being lifted then, tried to help, to move, but nothing worked. Someone was rubbing vigorously at his extremities, yelling at him to get up, to walk, move. His body would not respond. At times he realized it was Nathan helping him, and then he would black out again, aware of being moved around but feeling as though he was floating in another world.
"I think I can get us back to the ranch before nightfall!" Nathan shouted.
Tyler tried to see, noticed the snow was clear up to the belly of Nathan's horse. That was all he remembered before he passed out again.
Tyler awoke to terrible pain in his fingers and toes. He looked around the room, realized he was in his old bedroom in the main house. How had he gotten here? He shivered, and someone leaned over to put yet another quilt over him.
"You'll be all right, Ty," came a caring, feminine voice. "Please hang on. Please don't die."
He looked into an angelic face surrounded by golden hair. "Alice," he whispered.
"Oh, Ty, we thought maybe you and Nathan had both died! It took Nathan two days to get back here with you. He found a hollow where he managed to make a fire and put dry clothes on you. He rode back here with you right in front of him so his body heat would help warm you. He saved your life, Ty. Since he got you back here we've been heating rocks and stuffing them in blankets all around you to warm you up more. We're just praying you don't lose any fingers or toes to frostbite. If you don't, you can thank Nathan for that."
She leaned down and kissed his forehead.
"Ebony..." he muttered.
"Nathan found him. He's safely put away in the barn." Ty frowned. "How? I... didn't think.... anyone could find me... out there. Or Ebony."
"Nathan told your father the Indians had special ways to survive and find their way in this kind of weather." she answered. "I don't know just how he did it, but he found you, Nathan. We're all so happy!" Her eyes teared. "Christmas wa
s two days ago, but we all waited, hoping Nathan would come back with you. As soon as you're better, we're going to celebrate and open presents."
Tyler closed his eyes. "I want... to see Nathan." He grimaced with pain. "And whiskey. Get me... some whiskey."
"I will." She left the room, and Ty lay there thinking. He vaguely remembered Nathan finding him, putting him over a horse. Nathan had a family to think about. Why had he bothered to risk his own life to come find him, especially after he had been so hateful to him?
Nathan came into the room, and Ty met his blue eyes.
"I... don't know... what to say."
"There is nothing to say."
Tyler closed his eyes. "There is... a lot to say. Why did you risk your life... to find me, after the way I've treated you?"
Nathan pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down. "Two reasons. I did it because I knew what it would do to Luke to lose another son. It might have killed him, maybe my mother, too."
Tyler turned to meet his gaze again. "But... they might have lost both of us."
Nathan shrugged. "Perhaps. I simply was the most logical choice to go after you. I know better than the others how to track through blinding snow, how to survive."
"You said... two reasons. What's... the other?"
Nathan watched him silently for several seconds, his eyes looking misty. He put a hand on Ty's shoulder then. "Because you are my brother."
Tyler was stunned by the note of love in the words. It was a truth he had not wanted to face, but a truth, nonetheless. It was his own immature jealousy that had brought on an unnecessary hatred of this half brother who had never wanted anything from any of them but shelter for his family. His own eyes teared. "I loved her, Nathan."
Wildest Dreams Page 57
